Avatar Chronicles:: To Truly See
by Sapphire-Raindrop
Summary: Sara Mason is twenty-five years old, and after the battle with the Na'vi and RDA, she's torn between loyalty to Earth and love for Pandora. When she is given the opportunity to become one with The People, she is forced to choose the path she will walk.
1. In The Begining

Hey! This is my new idea, because i am in love with Avatar, and really want to see how this idea plays out! Please tell me what you think, and dont be afraid to tell me if you dont like it! Enjoy! :D

oh, and this takes place during Jake's time there, only from a different prespective. And the story's going to be totally based on my OC...so if you're here looking for a story based on Jake and Neytiri (i know they're awesome, i love them too...), you're not going to find it...

ALSO (last thing, i promise) the entire movie is spoiled for you here, so if you havent seen the movie, go see it! why are you even looking up fanfiction for it if you havent seen it? kinda weird...

anyway, hope you guys like it! :P

* * *

_Electronic Journal_

_Name_: Sara Mason

_Location_: Abandoned RDA Station

_Time/Date_: I have no idea, seeing as this place has been a place of complete chaos for the past few days. I'll be sure to look at a clock and a calendar before imputing my next entry.

_***_

_Entry 1_

_I had never expected to go to Pandora. No one back on Earth expected to go to Pandora, it was the kind of thing that was only dreamed about, the kind of fairy-tales that your mother told before you went to sleep. _

_ Woven tales of distant forests filled with supernatural beings, bright swirling lights, people that wielded the magic with their golden eyes…_

_ So when I, Sara Mason, an eighteen-year-old graduate majoring in biology, was put on one of the Pandora shuttles, those woven tales were the only images I had in mind of this distant planet. _

_ Oh, how quickly my vision was shattered. _

_ The moment I was led out of the shuttle, with my oxygen mask securely in place, I saw a man being carried on a stretcher, with a large feathered arrow protruding from his shoulder. I listened to his screams as he died, maybe a minute later, as I was pulled toward the large station that loomed over all the rest. _

_ Those screams were only the beginning of the horrors I would witness on Pandora. _

_ I was immediately put to work, and I heard whispers of the "Avatar" program that was being instated in the back quarters of the station, Hell's Gate, as people seemed to call it. But I didn't really understand this program, too focused in my own theories concerning the animal and plant life that inhabited this dangerous planet. _

_ It's almost funny to imagine; I probably never would have even gotten stuck in this whole mess if I hadn't worked so diligently, worked almost non-stop. I was studying samples when everyone else was sleeping in their beds; I was researching when everyone had their coffee breaks. _

_ A year later, I was one of the most knowledgeable scientists in my division, and it was then that I met Dr. Grace Augustine. I remember that day, when I was studying a particular root found in one of the trees, one of the roots that the others had pushed aside. There was nothing strange about it, they said, just a strange current of electrical molecules. Most of these scientists had forgotten what it was like for something they studied to be _normal_, so this peculiar piece of root didn't interest them. But I wasn't so sure, and so I snuck into one of the more advanced laboratories to examine it more closely. _

_ I found that it actually had synapses, like those in the human brain, only more complex and more concentrated. How was it…possible, for a tree to have these? How had the others seen this as something to 'push aside'? _

_ I was so intent on my task that I didn't notice the woman who came in, who walked over to stand behind me. I remember what she said so clearly, it's like it was yesterday. _

_ "Synapses…just like the human brain. Amazing, isn't it?" _

_ I had jumped so violently that I had almost knocked over the microscope. She had laughed, and I remembered the blush that had rushed to my face as I stared at my knees, waiting for her to start yelling at me. _

_I knew who this scientist was; she was Dr. Grace Augustine, one of the greatest biologists in the program. One of the most strict, hard-core, hostile scientists in this base, and she knew the rules as well as I did. This laboratory was strictly forbidden to first years, but I knew that the equipment at my other, lower level microscope wouldn't be able to analyze the root in full detail. Punishment for using other people's equipment could result in being sent back to Earth, losing your job…_

_ With this in mind, you can imagine how shocked I was when she nudged me aside to look at my sample with an experienced eye, muttering quietly. _

_ "You've got initiative, risking your ass to look at something the others didn't think was important. What's your name again?" _

_ "S-Sara Mason, ma'am." _

_ "I've heard some excellent things about you, Sara. Surprising for a first year, especially seeing as you're only nineteen. Most of you idiots are too stupid at first to really find your way around here." _

"_Um…thank you?" I had said, not sure whether to be flattered or insulted._

_She went on, still eyeing me with her cool stare. " I'd say that it was time you got with some people who actually give a damn about learning about the life on Pandora. Come to the Avatar Station tomorrow, and we'll get you set up." _

_ And then she stood up again, and left the office, leaving me almost fainting with surprise. _

_ I had just been promoted to working with Dr. Grace Augustine – well, not _with_ her really, but working in the same vicinity. This was like, a once in a lifetime chance, and I sure as hell wasn't going to turn it down!_

_ Now that I look back on it, I wish I had turned the job down. But of course, I was so ecstatic that I didn't think to look into what exactly I would be doing…and by the time I realized it, it was too late. _

_ The next morning, they took a sample of my DNA, and it was only after they had taken the sample did they inform me that I was now part of the Avatar Program, and that in six years I would have my own Avatar to drive._

_ Saying I was shocked would be the biggest understatement in the history of the world. _

_ But, unfortunately, I couldn't go back now, because the whole Avatar business takes up a lot of money from the government, and for me to back out would be like shoving my middle finger in Dr. Augustine's face, which was a _big_ mistake for anyone with a scrap of self-perseveration to make. And so I just nodded and smiled, and my work went on as usual, only now I was working with some of the top scientists in the Avatar facilities. _

_ It was in the next six years that I came to know exactly what the alien culture of the Na'vi was, and what we were trying to accomplish by creating Avatars and by trying to negotiate with them. _

_ It was terrifying. _

_ I saw clips of Na'vi warriors attacking human foot-soldiers, and I found that I couldn't sleep for a week after watching it, because every time I closed my eyes, I saw the foot-soldier's fear as an arrow went through his heart. _

_ Dr. Augustine assured us that as long as we remained peaceful and non-violent with the Na'vi, nothing like that would occur, but I felt the fear in my chest even as she reassured me. _

_ What if it was too late for negotiating? What if the idiots shooting guns without a thought to what it would result in had already ruined our chances at a peaceful solution? _

_ I didn't want to think about it. _

_ Watching my Avatar mature was another frightening story altogether. It was as if I was watching a baby mature in the womb of its mother, only the weird part was that it was _me_, me in a way that was even more frightening. I had always been skinny and small for my age, but compared to my Avatar…_

_ At the end of the long six years, my Avatar was 9'7", and so slender and inhuman that looking at it made me shiver. There was beauty in its – I had to keep reminding myself that they were my features too – features, but a cat-like, fierce beauty. Grace was pleased with my Avatar, saying how it looked much more like one of the natives than the usual, more human-like Avatars. Which was good…I guess. Still scary, though. _

_ I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself, but I feel as if I'm wasting time telling you all of the petty details of the beginning of my life here. _

_ None of this is important. _

_ I need to skip forward, to the day that Jake Sully got lost in the jungles of Pandora. I was worried about him from the beginning, especially because of his background as a brave – but at the same time risky and careless – marine. Maybe he had gotten away with that kind of stuff back on Earth, but here, on Pandora, being careless is what got you killed. _

_ Anyway, you can imagine the shock that circulated through the station when Jake woke up – a huge relief, we were afraid he had been killed by a thanator that Dr. Augustine had last seen him running from during the gathering of the tree root samples –only to tell us that he had been taken in by the Omaticaya clan, and was being taught their ways by the Omaticaya princess, Neytiri. It was a fluke; a once in a lifetime chance that was so unlikely that it hadn't crossed any of our minds. The Na'vi had been extremely hostile towards the ideas of Avatar mind linking, and they had shut down the school Dr. Augustine had created to teach the clan English as a result. _

_ So life went on as usual, only with the small twist, the twist that made my stomach twist uncomfortably every time I thought about it. _

_ Colonel Quaritch was now more involved than ever in the Avatar program, and I didn't like the way his eyes seemed to gleam with pride whenever he looked at Jake Sully, or when he put his scarred hand on the young man's shoulder as if to say, "He's yours to play with, but he answers to me in the long run." _

_ I mentioned it to Dr. Augustine, and I was relieved when she seemed to notice it too after a week or two, and ordered for us to pack up some supplies to last them at least four months. She, a young biologist who focused on Pandorian culture named Norm Spellman, and Jake would travel into the deep parts of the Hallelujah Mountains, to escape contact with Colonel Quaritch and the other government officials who were more focused on how to eradicate the Na'vi rather than finding a diplomatic solution. _

_ I felt a little sad as I watched them take off, but I knew that I was just another scientist who spent too much time in the labs and less time actually learning how to drive my Avatar. _

_ In truth, I was scared when I was in my Avatar body, and when I looked at myself in the mirror I only saw an alien face with large, lemur-like yellow eyes and luminescent dots on the bridge of its nose and on its forehead and cheeks, the smooth blue skin patterned with faint, darker blue stripes. _

_ It frightened me. _

_ I instead focused on finding out the secrets to the roots of the Tree of Souls, as the Na'vi called it. It was their connection to Eywa, their goddess that controlled all life on Pandora._

_ But there were only so many hours I could spend looking at the microscope, and so another pastime arose. I began collecting the video-logs that Jake Sully sent in, watching them carefully. _

_ I don't know why I did this, but I was entranced by the changes that occurred as the days went by. One day he'd be confident as hell, the next he was more subdued, glancing around as if expecting to see something else. Months passed, and I remember going back to one of the messages I had missed, and playing it. _

_ "Everything is backwards now, like out there is the true world and in here is the dream."_

_ I remember his face when he said those words, almost three months into his stay with the Na'vi people, how the soft blue light that lit up the shack lighted his hollow face. His eyes as they stared into the camera as if searching for answers in it's depthless lens. I remember sitting on my knees, sipping my tea. I remember my blood running cold as I slowly set the mug down on the metal counter, staring into the face of Jake Sully, and for the first time I _saw_ him. _

_ He was becoming one of them._

_ One of the Na'vi. _

_ I knew – I think I had known for a long time, but had only just allowed it to be true – that Jake had fallen in love with Pandora, just as Dr. Grace Augustine had. _

Everything was changing_, I realized in that moment. I had slowly switched off the monitor, and stared out at the lush forests of Pandora, watching the rain make rivers on the thick glass that separated the jungle and I. _

_ I had been there for six years…I had seen death in those trees, I had seen bloodshed, and I had seen terror._

_ But for the first time, as I stared out into the rain, I saw beauty._

_ I don't remember how I got there, but suddenly I was in one of the self- linking rooms, one that was hardly used anymore because of its difficulty to reach. I was small, so I was able to squeeze into the small room, and I prepared for a link with my Avatar. I jumped in, feeling disconnected from myself, as if I was watching myself from above. _

_ It was the first time I had gone into my Avatar alone. Everyone else who had an Avatar was eating lunch, or studying. It was the first time that I didn't feel any hesitation as I pulled the wire, light covered mesh over my chest, and closed the heavy door over my head, sending me into calm darkness. _

_ When I opened my eyes again, I was in the shack that was reserved for Avatars that weren't being used at the moment, and I slowly breathed in and out, relishing the lack of an oxygen mask. _

_ My long, blue skinned legs swung gracefully over the sides of the cot, and I got to my feet. I felt the strength in my feet, and tucked the tight braids that went to my shoulders behind my pointed ears, and quickly unlocked the door. I was in a tank top and shorts, but I didn't think to put on a jacket, quickly darting out into the rain. _

_ Now, I could try to explain the feeling I experienced as I ran through the hard-packed dirt of the compound, but I'd end up being at a loss for words. There were no words to describe this. _

_ I was seeing beauty in this body for the first time. _

_ The rain fell with delicate sounds on the broad leaves, my ears swiveling around to hear every call of the birds talking to each other beyond the wire fence that blocked us off from the forest. The flowers were drooping over with the weight of the water, and I felt my heart beating powerfully in my chest, felt the earth shift under my strong feet. _

_ I don't know how far I ran, but when I stopped, I remember leaning my face back and holding my arms out to take in all the cold water that fell down in sheets, to take in every breath of air that filled my Avatar lungs. _

_ Jake Sully…he had opened up my world. His words, his emotions, they had taught me how beautiful Pandora was. _

_ I remember being pulled from my happiness by a yell from one of the soldiers. I had turned around, to see a gun being pulled on me. It was a burly soldier who I had often seen talking with Colonel Quaritch, and seeing him sent a thrill of unease through me. He yelled at me to get on my knees, and I did so without hesitation, asking what was wrong. _

_ "Colonel's orders, all Avatars have to be quarantined, we're starting the attack on that big-ass tree. Why aren't you in the regular linking room?" _

_ I remember my face going blank with horror. They were going to attack Hometree? What? I had gasped in shock, and ordered to know why they were initiating the attack. It was the first time I had ever talked back to one of my superiors, but I was not in my usual state of mind. _

_ "Doesn't matter, they're savages! Now get down while I call for your link to be canceled. Get up, and follow me to the shack." _

_ Savages? Neytiri, Mo'at…they were unfeeling animals? Those giggling children in the picture with Dr. Grace Augustine…they were _savages_? How could they be savages? Yes I was afraid of them, yes I agreed that they were dangerous, but savages? No…they weren't. They were only defending their land from humans, who weren't helping the situation by shooting at them and treating them like animals. _

_ I remember being led back into the shack, and when I lay down I felt something warm filling my eyes as I heard a boom in the distance. Even from this distance, I could hear the missiles being fired, and, if I focused, the screams of the dying Na'vi. _

_ I closed my eyes, and felt something drip down my face, but before I could register what it was, being disconnected abruptly tugged at my consciousness, and I opened my eyes to the saddened face of one of my closest friends here in the Station, Dr. Max Patel. _

_ I remember clearing my throat, reaching up to touch my face, which was wet with tears. _

_ "Are they really…?" _

_ "Yeah. We tried to stop them, but…" _

_ I had sat up hurriedly, and I felt that if I tried to get up out of the link-unit, I would see the destruction with my own eyes, see the fire raging in the forest that had once been so full of life. Even if I was afraid of it, it didn't justify this…this brutal annihilation. _

_Nothing would ever justify this._

_I remember putting my face between my knees, and retreating into myself. Max had put his arm around my shoulders, and I had cried silently, watching as the teardrops fell on the green foam that made up the interior of the link-unit. _

_It was a horrible day. _

_I was led down by Max an hour later, only to witness Dr. Augustine and Jake hauled out of their units, Jake dazed and limp, his eyes filled with an emotion I don't have words for. Grace was more violent, kicking and screaming. Norm was punching one of the soldiers, his eyes streaming tears of horror and fury. _

"_You _murderers_!" _

_I covered my mouth with my hand to restrain my cries, and turned to bury my face in Max's shoulder. It was all so awful…so _unfair_. No one should have the evil state of mind to think about doing this; no one should be _able_ to do this…without some kind of consequence that fits the crime. But no punishment would be issued to Colonel Quaritch and his men. They would come back to base, grinning and congratulating themselves on a job well done. _

_Grace Augustine's cries echoed in my mind. _

Murders!

_None of the soldiers paid any attention to their resistance, and proceeded to carry both her and Jake from the room. I saw Norm being dragged by three soldiers, and the expression on his face sent me into another wave of depression. _

_I was just sitting there, doing nothing to prevent this abomination. _

_I met Max's eye, and I might have been imagining it, but I swore that in that moment, both of us were thinking the exact same thing. _

_If we could get Jake, Grace, and Norm back into their Avatar bodies, then maybe we could find a way to bring down the RDA, a way to stop this monstrosity from going any farther than it already had. _

_I knew that we had to find a way to stop it all. _

_Now, since I'm cramped for time in this station as it is, I'm going to have to cut the whole description of exactly _how _Max and I got the three out of their prison, but let's just leave it at the fact that we never could have done it without the help of the spunky pilot Trudy Chacon. I wouldn't doubt that a lot of it was pure luck as well, but I like to think that it was all a result of our brilliant planning. _

_Anyway, we got to the hanger, me pushing Jake's wheelchair as quickly as I could down the hall, to save his energy for getting into the copter. It was then that Jake turned to Max and I, and thanked us. _

"_Thanks, guys. It'll be good having two people on the inside that I can trust. Be sure to keep in touch, okay? Let us know what's going on." _

_I remember Dr. Grace Augustine, walking through the hanger doors. I remember the fierce determination that glinted in her bright eyes as she turned to glance back at us. I smiled weakly, and I like to think that she smiled back, but I couldn't be sure. _

_Then the hanger doors closed, and we were alone in the hallway. _

_It would be the last time I ever saw Dr. Grace Augustine. _

_She died, later, from a gun wound made by Colonel Quaritch's furious shooting at Trudy's copter as they escaped. I never got to tell her how much I had grown to love her, as a mentor, as a friend. _

_When the hanger doors closed, Max and I made our way back to the medical quarters, only to find it in an uproar, people crying, people shouting._

_I've always had an excellent memory, and so I can recall almost every detail of that day, of that day when I rebelled against the RDA. _

_I remember shutting it all out, and heading into that small link room, Max right behind me. _

"_Sara, what the hell do you think you're doing?" _

"_I need to help…somehow." _

"_Running off into that jungle _isn't_ going to help!" _

_ I remember looking at Max calmly. "So protecting Jake's human body while he is in Avatar form wont help, will it?" _

_ Max had sputtered out excuses. "But that's miles and miles away! You'll never make it in time!" _

_ I had grinned widely for the first time in days. _

_ "We'll see. I just need you to get a really big metal box that I can unlock from the inside, and insist that one of the ships that is holding the foot soldiers that they need to put this below, in case of serious injury. And when the battle starts, I'll get out and find my way to the site from there. I even have a tracker that Norm gave me." I held up a small device that had a small map and a bunch of blinking red dots. Max's mouth was open, and his dark eyes were wide. _

_ I had smirked, and patted his shoulder. "You can tell me I'm a genius after this is all over." _

_ Smiling at him one last time, I had climbed into the unit, and I pulled the cover over me quickly. I heard Max muttering to himself as he pushed some buttons, and everything went blank as my mind linked with my Avatar. _

_ I awoke once more in the shack, and this time I lay there for a moment, thinking. I had to wait a long time, but I could still move around and get used to moving in this body, since everyone was too occupied with the upcoming battle to be concerned with the Avatar training area. _

_ I rolled over to put my feet on the floor, and stood up fluidly. I walked over to the clipped shut gate, and stared out at the early morning that was cool and clear. _

_ Such depressing weather, not because it itself was dreary, but because it was the weather that was present before a whole new meaning to the word 'bloodshed' was created. It was sad, so many soldiers would die, and so many Na'vi would die. I felt indebted to be saddened by the life of human beings, and yet I also felt indebted to feel sad by the deaths of the Na'vi. It was all so different. I wished that I could go back to the world of black and white, loyal and disloyal, not all of this emotional 'in the between' stuff. _

_ The hours passed slowly, and in that time I packed a pack full of supplies so I could survive out there for as long as I needed to for the battle, and after a moment, packed a large gun that looked dangerous and so _unlike_ anything I would ever dream about using. I also strapped a large dagger to my waist. I knew that Pandora was a dangerous place, even for the Na'vi clans. _

_ There were predators that were the size of dinosaurs, and these ones were much, much faster and more intelligent. If I wasn't armed, I would be taken apart in mere minutes. I hoped that most of the creatures would be wary of the battle going on, and as a result would be less likely to make an appearance. _

_ I could only hope. _

_ Max came in the next hour, with a short but wide metal box that had a few medical labels on the outside. I remember my tail twitching in hesitation, but then the sounds of soldiers coming out put all doubt from my mind, and I climbed in, tucking my tail tightly in behind me, and taking a deep breath even though Max had poked small, subtle holes so I could breath. The lid closed on me, and all was blackness, and I tried to keep my breathing as shallow as possible. _

_ The rest I wish I could tell you – I might go into further detail on how truly terrifying it was for me to be locked in a fragile metal box for hours on end in some other entry – but as I said before, my petty details aren't important in the long run. I need to get to the point in my journey where everything went wrong, the part where my plan was changed completely. _

_ I was cramped inside the box, in the cargo hold of the foot soldier ship, but what I didn't expect is that they needed to dump the cargo in order to make their ship lighter, so they could get out of there faster. And so when I felt myself hitting the water suddenly, I panicked, and started kicking the sides frantically. _

_ I only realize now how dangerous it was for me to panic like that. If I had kicked the box at a different angle, I could have snapped my ankle, or even pushed the lock into position so I wouldn't be able to get out at all, leaving me to drown. _

_Luckily, none of those occurred._

_Water was seeping into the box through the holes Max had punched for air, and I heard my harsh breathing in the choking tightness of the container. I finally kicked the door away, and water rushed in, throwing me off guard for a second before I instinctively pushed off, and into the open water of the river. _

_I kicked towards the surface, and felt the cool air engulf me as my head broke the surface. I gasped for breath, and grabbed a hold of the nearest root, and pulled myself onto it, gulping for air, and I felt my heart racing as I watched the metal box sink into the churning waters. I groaned at the state of my gun, which was now useless, and tossed it away into the brush, taking out my knife. _

_I remember the feeling as I looked around me, the lush taste of the air, so undisturbed, so tranquil. _

_I knew better. _

_With a sigh, I pulled out Norm's tracking device, and was thankful that the water hadn't damaged it. Thankful was an understatement, but let's not get into that. _

_I held the tracker up, and after a moment it caught a signal, but then, it blanked out. I smacked my hand against it, and coordinates came onto the screen, and I followed them. _

_It was the most frightening experience of my life, running through the forest, whether I lived or died based on the puny knife in my hand. I heard the screams of the Na'vi fighting, and suddenly I saw the battle, everything as vivid as if spotlights had been placed upon them. _

_Na'vi men, shooting their poison dipped bows, their cries as the bullets from RDA guns hit them, their six legged horses screaming as they galloped away. I jumped behind a tree, trying to block out the sounds of the dying. I had to get to the site where Jake's human body was, I had to protect it. If Colonel Quaritch found it, he'd kill Jake without batting an eyelash. _

_I blinked as I saw a familiar Na'vi running with a gun in his hands, his braid waving behind him, his yells adding to the chaos. _

Norm?

_I gasped, and Norm seemed to sense my stare, because he looked over at me, his eyes widening impossibly wide. I remember his mouth shaping the sounds of my name. _

_Sara? _

_His distraction cost him the upper hand, and suddenly he was sent tumbling to the ground. I yelled and ran over to him, as close to the ground as I could go. I pulled him into the safety of the brush. _

_He was gasping for breath, his arm clutching his wounded shoulder. "S-Sara, what the hell are you doing here?!" _

"_I came to protect Jake's human body. If they find it, he's screwed." I muttered, peeling Norm's fingers from his wound, and examining it. The bullet was still in there, and I needed pliers to get it out. _

_Norm was fading out; he had always been squeamish around blood, and I had slapped his face frantically. _

"_Norm, stay with me! You need to show me where the site is, c'mon." I helped him to his feet, and he groaned as his shoulder was jostled. He had been so scared, and I was scared too, but we managed to get to the site in the end, after about thirty minutes. _

_It was a secluded clearing, with the long trailer that held the link-units. Spellman suddenly went limp, and I yelled his name, but he was already gone, his mind transferred back into his human body. _

_I heard his human cries of pain in the trailer, and quickly dragged his Avatar over to the tree that was behind the trailer, shoving it under the roots for safekeeping. _

_It was almost funny, during the entire battle I was calm as you please, but inside I was filled with such suffocating terror that I was surprised I managed a full sentence after it was all over. _

_Norm came out soon after, with a gun and an oxygen mask on. He looked up at me. _

"_I'm going back out."_

_I nodded, and touched his head gently. "Be safe, okay?" _

_He nodded, and marched off into the trees, and I stood watching him for a moment. _

_This battle was changing all of us. I never would have thought to hide away in my Avatar body, in a box, no less. I never would have rebelled for the frightening Na'vi that haunted my nightmares. But I had, and there was no going back now, for any of us. _

_I stood in the middle of the clearing, staring up at the light filtering through the canopy, feeling as ancient as the trees that surrounded me. I was so different from that scared first year who had turned so red when being caught in the lab by Dr. Augustine that day, the girl who had no backbone until now. It was strange, whenever I was in this body I felt so much more assured and powerful. Being at least three feet taller than anyone else helped, but it was more than that, somehow. _

_Suddenly, a large machine strode into view, and saw a glint of a window before I felt a blinding pain in my right arm. I had been shot. I screamed, and saw the face of Colonel Quaritch smirking through the window. I saw no recognition in that face, so I assumed he didn't identify me as a human Avatar, just as a Na'vi. Both were bad. I felt my legs quivering as he made his way toward me, and I gripped the knife handle between my fingers. _

_He aimed his gun toward me, and I felt a loud hiss escape my teeth, my last act of defiance. I knew I was going to die. _

_But suddenly, I saw a loping creature heading toward us, and the Colonel was focused on it, and I took that opportunity to run. I ran as fast as I could, faster than I had ever run in my life. _

_Running made my arm hurt, and I don't know how long I ran for. I remember the time being skewed by the pain, bright crimson blood staining my fingers. I couldn't tell whether I was still standing after a while, and after a while I was in silence as I ran. _

_But finally, I felt my knees buckle under me, and I fell roughly on my shoulder. I was breathing harshly, my face covered in sweat. My arm throbbed and stung painfully, and every time I moved it, it flared with new pain. I lay there for a long time, seeing the light fade from the sky slowly, until the sky was a golden and crimson blur. _

_I waited to die, because I knew that the creatures would return, and I was a meal just begging to be devoured. I was helpless, and I wondered what it would feel like to die in this body. Would I wake up in my human body, back at the base? Or would they open up the unit to see that my human body was dead as well? What would happen? _

_I felt something warm and wet on my arm, and I pushed it away instinctively, annoyance seeping through the haze of pain. It touched my arm again, and I managed to sit up, pushing it away with both hands. _

_I opened my eyes to see that a large head of a creature was nudging me, and I screamed, pushing myself back hastily. It was one of those horse things, what had Jake called them? Oh yeah, direhorses. It was staring at me; it's long tongue coming out to lick my arm. I pushed it away again, and suddenly realized that someone was riding it. _

_It was a Na'vi warrior, but his features were unfamiliar to me, and I blinked to see him more clearly. His golden eyes glowed in the light of the fading sun. There wasn't a smile on his face, but it wasn't a frown either. He was just staring at me. _

_The Na'vi spoke in a low voice that seemed a part of the forest, and I recognized the dialect of the Na'vi. Dr. Augustine had tried teaching me, but I had only learned snippets of it. I understood enough to get the gist of what the man was saying. _

_He was asking if I was hurt, and if I was with the people of Jakesully. _

_I nodded furiously, blinking more rapidly, the haze settling in as my arm throbbed. I heard him dismount, and felt his large fingers examining my wound. _

_The warrior said something again, almost muttering it. I think he said that the wound was deep. It sure felt like it, so I didn't bother saying anything. My vision was slowly slipping into a gray fog, and the last thing I felt were rock hard arms scooping me up, and then I lost consciousness. _

_I woke up – still alive, and somehow in my human form – to the relieved faces of Max Patel and Norm Spellman. _

_The Na'vi succeeded in eliminating the RDA, and all the humans were being shipped back to Earth. Well, almost all the humans. Max, Norm, me, and the twenty scientists that had Avatars were allowed to stay. Norm's Avatar, as well as mine, were healing in the Avatar Facility, and would be fully functional in a day or so. I saw Jake Sully in his wheelchair a few hours ago, and felt a stab of pity, but only for a moment. _

_Jake was being transformed into one of them, like, the real deal. _

_Tonight. _

_But the even stranger thing was, that, they were offering to do the same to Norm and I. Not tonight, Jake told us, but they were giving us two days to decide. The rest of the Avatar drivers were somehow unworthy, and Norm had agreed in a heartbeat. But me…I was still deciding. _

_Should I become a Na'vi…forever? _

_Was it the right path to take?_

_That's my story so far, and now if you don't mind, I'm going to end my journal there for today, because I need to go to sleep. I doubt that I'll sleep much, but I'm going to try. I keep looking at Jake's wheelchair, which is leaning against the wall. It kinda reminds me of that day in the lab, my first year here. Whenever I look at that chair, I think about all the things I've overcome to be here today. _

_It's strange how random things like wheelchairs remind you of that kind of stuff, isn't it? _

_I have to stop writing before I go off on a whole other tangent…I tend to do that. _

_I'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings. I won't lie; I'm terrified. But hey, who ever said life here on Pandora was easy? _

_End of Entry 1_

_***__  
_


	2. Here We Go

Hey everyone, hope you enjoy the chapter! Please review...it's be great. Also, the first chapter was exceptionally long because i had to condense the entire movie from a different prespective. I'm sorry to say that most of my chapters are around 3,000 to 4, 000 words...not this chapter is not as long as that first that's not a problem for any of you!

ALSO: i am so sorry to tell you guys, but i'm in 10th grade, and high school is KILLER right now. I wont be able to update as much as I want to, the only time i'll have the chance is on weekends. so I'm thinking that I'll probably update once a week, IF I'M LUCKY! So please dont be too angry if I dont update as soon as you want to, but understand that i'm trying really hard! :D

also, a question: Do you mind that I write Sara in first person? I have a feeling that it gets a bit tiresome to read after a while, so I'd like to hear your views on it. Thanks!

:D

* * *

_Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _Abandoned RDA Station

_Time/Date: _According to our Terran calendar, it's November 19, 2154. Two days after the battle with the RDA. As for the time, I'm pretty sure it's like, four in the morning. Ugh.

***

_Entry 2 _

_ I'm pretty sure it's there somewhere in the United States Constitution that no one should _ever_ have to wake up this early after a day like yesterday. Sorry if that makes no sense, I'm half dead right now, so my words may be a little jumbled and confusing, but hang with me. _

_ All of the humans are gone except for the ones remaining here, and Jake is not one of them. I met with the new Jake Sully this morning…let's just leave it at I was pretty miffed with how much taller he was. I had to get him to lean down so I could talk to him without looking like a complete midget. It didn't help that I was _already_ one of the shortest scientists here…_

_ On a happier note, we've managed to eradicate the RDA program all together, and we're all working towards sending that message to the rest of Earth as well. Don't mess with Pandora anymore, or you'll meet the same fate. I remember typing that with a sense of pride, and Jake had read it over my shoulder, grinning in that feral way that was both familiar and slightly disconcerting. Especially with those sharp fangs he now had. Yikes. But I suppose I'd get used to it, especially if I finally made a decision about their offer…I still don't know what I'm going to do about that. _

_ Aside from the upcoming transformation for Norm – and maybe me as well – and Jake's new body, life here at the base felt almost normal again, in a way. _

_ But, no matter how jubilant we all are about finally defeating the RDA, one cruel hard fact still stands. _

_ Hometree is gone. Hundreds of Na'vi are dead. The air is still haunted by the ghosts of the soldiers and Colonel Quaritch, and with them a taste of the cruelty they unleashed here. The hearts of the Na'vi will heal, but I doubt they will ever forget this war, not that I blame them. I sort of hated humans at this point, even though I was still one of them myself. Our race was so greedy, wasteful, and destructive that it made my stomach turn, and looking at the desolate ashes of Hometree only solidified that feeling. _

_ So much sorrow still dwelled here. _

_ But the clans were healing, slowly rebuilding their life, and remembering the warriors they had lost. Jake had told us of the Omaticaya clan's search for a new Hometree, and I hoped that they would find one soon. _

_ I already knew that Neytiri and Jake were officially mated, but it still gave me a shock when she accompanied Jake to the base one day, and I actually spoke with her, face to face. Even after her father being killed, she was still open to the idea of humans being friendly, though I'm sure it took a lot of persuading on Jake's part to convince her to come here. I know it's immature, but I just have to say it. THEY ARE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! There, I said it. It's just so beautiful to see them together; I had to excuse myself the first time they came here together, so they wouldn't see my tears that sprung when Jake rested his hand comfortingly on Neytiri's arm when she glanced around in nervous fear. _

_ It wasn't like they kissed in public or anything, but they subtly let others know that they were together. Like when Neytiri stood next to Jake, her tail would lightly brush against his leg, coiling around it possessively. Or when they mounted Jake's banshee, Jake's hand would gently brush against her waist, so lightly that it was almost a caress. Some of you would think he was just steadying her so she wouldn't fall, but those who do think that, are you _serious_? Have you seen this girl in action? She's the most graceful, agile person I've ever seen! I know for a _fact _that his hand wasn't steadying her, because she needs absolutely no help keeping her balance. _

_ Okay, I have to stop talking about them; otherwise I'll never stop. _

_ I'm sitting in my bed right now, typing as fast as I can. Because about ten minutes ago, Max poked his head in – he was always up early in the morning, so I wasn't surprised to see him awake – and told me if I'd like to go with Norm to make sure our Avatars were fully functional. I had said yes, of course, and he told me that Norm would be ready in half an hour or so. _

_ So I've got to type like the wind here. _

_ I still don't know what I'm going to do about the whole "becoming one with The People" thing. I knew that I was still a human, at heart. Being human was the only thing I knew how to be, and even though I had an Avatar body that I had been in, I knew that it wasn't the same. To truly be a Na'vi you also had to accept their way of living, their speech, and their religion. It wasn't just about getting a new body. It was like trading in me, Sara Mason, for some stranger with blue skin and yellow eyes. I would still be Sara, inside, but my body would be something else. _

_ But was being human really what I wanted to be anymore? Just look at what happened to Hometree, to all those children and adults who perished while trying to escape from the wood falling down on them. Look what happened to Dr. Augustine. _

_ That was where it got really difficult. _

_ Dr. Augustine had wanted nothing more than to be accepted by the Na'vi, she loved them more than she loved herself. They were her people, more her kin then her true blood-related family back on Earth. She had died under the branches of the Tree of Souls, the one place that she had yearned to go to for so long, and when I saw her corpse, I saw that her mouth was frozen in a smile of satisfaction, of peace. _

_ In the end, she became one of The People, and she would live on in the spirit of Eywa forever. It was the one thing that I was absolutely sure about. She was in a better place, where she belonged. _

_ But the question was: Where did _I_ belong? _

_ I don't know. I mean, Jake knew, Norm knew, but I was still so unsure of where my place was. _

_ One day, my place was among the RDA; I was terrified of the Na'vi, and wanted nothing to do with them. The next, I was still terrified, but I was even more terrified of the chaos human greed could bring. My place was no longer with the RDA, but if it wasn't with them, then where was it? _

_ Everything is backwards now._

_End of Entry 2 _

* * *

I sighed, closing the small computer screen over the keyboard, hearing the small click as it locked. Writing in this journal helped me organize my thoughts, but I hadn't been able to record half of the emotions I was feeling.

Confusion is sometimes so strong that you cant put it into words. Heck, half the emotions I was feeling right now couldn't be put into words: how's _that_ for a dilemma?

With another long sigh, I tucked the journal under my bed, and stared at the pale gray ceiling that was blank and boring, trying to find patterns in the flawless plaster. I felt so _old_ sometimes, and whenever I wrote in that journal the feeling was intensified. I had forgotten, for a moment, that I was only twenty-five years old. I had experienced so much…it hardly seemed like I was Sara Mason anymore.

I shook my head, and slipped out of the narrow cot, shivering at the icy tile floor. I glanced in the mirror quickly when I got to the bathroom, and snorted immediately after.

What, was I worried about suddenly sprouting gray hairs? Not that I would be surprised, seeing the amount of stress I've been under lately.

I splashed some water on my face, and took a good look at myself, not trying to be narcissistic or anything. I was just studying my face for the first time in months.

My blonde hair, my first year it had been brutally short, now went to my lower back – I had never had enough free time to think about cutting it – and was currently tied in a loose braid to keep it out of the way while I worked. My face had lost any hint of childish roundness, and my features were sharply defined. The bridge of my nose and apples of my cheeks were faintly dusted with freckles, and when I smiled my lips parted to reveal slightly crooked teeth. The rest of my body was practically the same, besides the bandage that was wrapped tightly around my right upper arm, but since that was temporary, it didn't really count.

Someone knocked lightly on the door, and I opened the door to see an impatient Norm, who immediately turned around, covering his eyes with a squeak of surprise. I looked down at myself. Uh, I was still fully clothed. I rolled my eyes, and poked Norm to get him to turn around.

"Norm, why would I open the door if I wasn't dressed? Seriously, _think_!"

Norm blushed hotly, and folded his arms across his chest. "Well, I was just expecting the worst!"

"I'm not sure whether to be flattered or downright insulted…" I muttered, pushing past him and grabbing my jacket and shoving on my sandals. Norm laughed, and we both made our way through the empty halls of the Avatar Station, toward the linking room. It was eerie, in a way, seeing as we were the only ones within at least a hundred feet of any room. I was so used to seeing scientists and soldiers marching through the halls, or behind microscopes, studying maps. It was all just…silent, now.

When we reached the link-room, we found Max sipping a cup of coffee, and leaning back in his chair, staring out at the Avatar training yard with a contented expression. Max was always quite a peaceful guy; he had hated the fighting as much as I had, even _more_, if it was possible.

His dark eyes flickered over to us as we walked in, and he smiled.

"You two going in?"

"Yep!" Norm said cheerfully, beaming widely, and I glanced over at him. Norm was so ready to become one of the Na'vi…I wish that the decision was just as easy for me.

I let my mind go blank as I pulled the link-unit cover over me, and relaxed every muscle in my body, first my legs, then my arms, then my face…

I opened my eyes to the wooden ceiling of the Avatar shack, and saw Norm sitting up down the aisle, rolling his shoulders and head around to ease the kinks out of his new muscles. I sighed, and stretched with a yawn. I guess being linked with a new body didn't make me feel any less tired than before.

I stood, and Norm and I both slapped high fives – kind of a ritual thing, just don't ask. I didn't bother putting on any shoes, just striding out into the training grounds, Norm right behind me. The area had been transformed into the Omaticaya clan's new school, and I saw several Na'vi children in the distance – shadowed by their wary fathers and other Na'vi who wished to learn, of course – sitting around a human teacher who was showing them pictures on a screen, speaking slowly and clearly. I smiled at the scene, and glanced over at Norm.

"So, are they getting used to their new Hometree?"

Norm nodded with a lopsided grin, and I almost laughed. In his Avatar form, it looked strange for a Na'vi-resembling person to be acting so…_Norm-ish_. I giggled at my term, and Norm looked at me with a frown. I shook my head, and we walked down the stairs. I heard a sharp cry above us, and looked up.

A huge red banshee was diving toward us, and I saw a grinning Na'vi on its back. I rolled my eyes. Only one Na'vi could have that overconfident grin…Jake Sully. He was whooping with glee as he spiraled to the ground, and the banshee shrieked with him. The two came closer and closer, and Norm took a step back. I didn't move, and I heard Norm shout.

"Get out of the way, that idiot isn't going to have enough time to stop!"

I remained where I was, and I was close enough to see Jake's grin turn into a challenging smirk. He was so cocky it was almost a health hazard. I raised an eyebrow, narrowing my eyes as the banshee showed no sign of stopping.

_If you so let that banshee so much as _breathe_ on me, you're dead meat, buster._

Jake quickly pulled upward, causing the banshee to cry out once more, and flap its wings frantically to stop its downward dive. The air was thick with its hot, distinct odor, and I felt the wind from its wing beats, so strong that it flattened the long grass around Norm and me. I cringed at the heat of the banshee's underbelly on my face before Jake managed to back it up so it landed inches from my chest. I put a hand on my hip, and Jake slid off.

Jake grinned. "Sorry about that…"

I rolled my eyes, and Norm moved forward to exchange friendly punches. It was a guy thing. I settled for giving him a hug, and I hoped that Neytiri would think of this as me somehow setting a claim on her man…because if she thought I was, I wouldn't be surprised to find an arrow through my chest when I woke up the next morning. Ouch.

I pulled away, and I glanced at the trees behind him. "Is everything okay back with the rest?"

Jake nodded, and Norm was nearly jumping with excitement. "So…when are we, you know…"

He flushed – quite odd, really, seeing as it made his face a strange shade of blue-ish purple – and Jake smiled widely.

"Tonight…that is, if both of you are still up for it. It's totally all right if you don't want to. It's a really big decision…" He was looking at me in particular, and I shrugged.

"I just need some more time to think."

Before Norm could speak, telling me how crazy I was to have to _think_ about it, I quickly strode toward the gate that led into the forest, grabbing a gun as I went. I heard Norm calling after me, but I ignored him, quickly making sure my gun was loaded before strapping it across my back. The forest was still dangerous, and I wasn't about to go in there unprepared.

I opened the gate, and slipped out, closing the fence behind me with a clatter. I ran into the woods, glancing around carefully. It was early morning, and the predators around here tended to be nocturnal, so I was pretty safe. Well, not safe really, just less likely to be attacked.

The forest was lovely, with vivid colors and the twittering of insects and other creatures that inhabited the trees. I sighed, staring up at the canopy, how the light filtered down in pretty beams. I darted across a river, balancing on a log that made up a thick bridge. The river was bubbling past, and I felt splashes of cold water hitting my ankles.

I don't know why I ran off like that, I just felt like I had to be alone for a bit.

The forest was such a good place to think – well, as well as being a place to get attacked and eaten, but I tried not to think about that – because of it's calm, serene feeling that just made me so at peace with the world.

I sighed, walking more slowly now, brushing my hands along the bark of the trees nearby, feeling the rough fissures under my sensitive fingertips. The only sound was my feet moving through the thick grass, soft padding sounds as my feet hit the ground with rhythmic beats.

I slowed to a stop, and suddenly saw something glowing a few feet from my hand, which was currently pressed on the bark of a tree.

I frowned, and moved closer, seeing the small creature in a hollow in the tree. It was like a jellyfish, with gently waving strands of soft pink, twirling in the air as it floated in my direction. I smiled as I watched it dance in the golden light of the air, and held out my hand without thinking. I wasn't afraid; I didn't feel the need to be afraid of this delicate creature.

It landed gently on my outstretched fingers, and twirled around before floating off again, circling me again. It was almost like one of those ballet dancers back on Earth, so free and beautiful.

I found myself circling with it, my feet unconsciously carrying me in a slow dance that I had often done as a child, to mimic those ballet girls I saw on T.V. The small pink glowing creature seemed to thrum with energy as I did so, and it began dancing with me slowly, and I gasped, as more creatures seemed to appear out of the golden glow of the sunlight, drifting down to surround me in a glowing circle. I turned in a circle again, and they danced, softly, hauntingly.

I felt the sun warming my skin, and I realized that I was dancing.

It was the first time I felt free in a long time.

The creatures often brushed against my skin, their delicate strands sending a shiver of something unfamiliar down my spine. Every time they touched me I felt a jolt of happiness and content, so powerful I was left gasping for breath.

There were a lot of them now, and I remembered Jake mentioning something like this in one of his video logs, and slowed to a stop.

What were they?

The creatures circled around me once more, and slowly began to drift away into the light of the sun, one of them remaining in the end. I reached out again, and cupped it in my long fingers, watching as if slowly danced up my forearm, my shoulder. It floated up to touch my forehead, and then suddenly it was gone.

"Sara!"

I blinked, the peaceful trance ending with a jerk, and I looked up to see Norm running towards me. I jogged over to meet him, and he smiled.

"I just wondered where you were, you came really far into the forest."

I nodded. "I felt like exploring a bi. Sorry if I worried you."

Norm blushed – he kept doing that, I had to ask him why one of these days – and I glanced back at the spot were the creatures had disappeared to, and felt something click inside my heart, and I felt something strange bubbling in my chest.

"I'm going to become one of them Norm. I've decided." The words came out before I could stop myself.

I was taken off guard when Norm suddenly hugged me, and swung me around in a circle.

"I knew it! I knew you'd say yes! Why wouldn't you? I mean–"

"Norm…"

Norm shut his mouth, grinning sheepishly, and he let me go, taking a step back. I laughed at his expression, and punched him in the shoulder.

"C'mon, we'll be late for breakfast if we stay out here much longer."

"Yeah!" Norm said excitedly, and we both headed back to the base, Norm talking non-stop the entire way. What a nightmare. But it was Norm, so I was kind of used to it by now.

* * *

That night, I was in my room, thinking hard.

I was nervous, I was terrified. More than you could ever imagine.

I knew that this was a decision I could never go back on, that after tonight I would be in my Avatar body forever, no, I would _be_ my Avatar body, that body would be Sara Mason. My human body would be a mindless corpse...cold, unfeeling.

Everything that tied me to Earth…gone.

I heard a knock at the door, and saw that Norm was standing there, looking as nervous as I felt.

"It's time."

I nodded, and I stood, taking one last look at the bed that I had slept in for the past six years here on Pandora, and I was leaving it forever. I frowned, and darted forward to grab my computer journal, tucking it under my arm. Norm didn't comment, and the two of us exited the room.

The hallway was dark, and I felt Norm take my hand. His pulse was racing even more than mine, and I swallowed, looking up at him with a smile.

I squeezed his hand, and we both strapped on our oxygen masks, looking out the window. Our hands released their death grip on each other, and for that I was grateful, because he had been holding my hand so tightly that the feeling had leeched out of it.

Jake was there, along with Neytiri. Both of them were smiling.

I felt a tiny bit better.

Not a lot better, but enough to ease the churning of my gut.

We headed out into the training area, and I saw four warriors behind our two friends, both with huge direhorses that were snorting and stomping their large hooves. Jake's banshee was scratching at the dirt, and I swallowed hard as we got closer.

I saw that two of the warriors had our Avatars secured on their horses' backs, and I shivered as I saw the limp figure of my Avatar. Soon, that would be me. I hoped. There was a chance I wouldn't survive, like Dr. Augustine. I didn't want to think about it.

"All right," Jake began, smiling at the two of us. "You two are going to ride with those two over there, and we'll meet you at the Tree."

I nodded, afraid that if I spoke I would start screaming. Norm grinned, and nodded as well. I glanced at Neytiri, who nodded at me with a wide smile, revealing her canine teeth that were sharp and lethal looking.

Jake helped Neytiri up onto his banshee – well, that's what it _looked_ like anyway, but we know better, now don't we? – and they took off with a whoop. I watched them go, and the two warriors Jake had gestured to moved forward, gently helping us onto the horse. I gulped nervously as I was put in front of the man, and the horse suddenly moved forward at a heart-wrenching gallop. I yelled, and buried my face in my arms, leaning forward.

I heard Norm laughing, and the man behind me was laughing as well, a deep throaty chuckle that made me scowl. Oh, that's just wonderful; _laugh_ at the terrified human who's never been on a direhorse before. Bastards…

I sighed, and closed my eyes as I heard us enter the forest. I felt the muscles of the horse moving under my thighs, and let my mind go blank. I was becoming one of the Na'vi. Tonight.

There was no going back for me. This was the path I was choosing to walk.

_Here we go_.


	3. Goodbye

Okay, warning, this chapter is a short one. Ugh, I'm SO SORRY its so short, and i hope you guys still like it! I promise that the next one will be longer!

please review! :D

* * *

I was lying on the roots of the Tree of Souls, watching Mo'at dancing wildly in front of Norm and I, and I saw through the glass of my oxygen mask the bright glowing lights of the small floating creatures I had seen before. They were filling my vision, making me smile as I reached up with my tan fingers to touch them.

I felt Jake try to restrain me, but Mo'at stopped him with a hiss, and he slowly pulled back. Neytiri was watching me with a look of wonder as my fingers slowly touched the creature, and I didn't have time to wonder why she looked that way, because the instant I touched the creature, my mind went blank, my eyes sliding shut without warning.

It was the strangest feeling, as though I was flying through a rainbow of colors. I vaguely saw my human arm fall limply on the ground beside my head, and then it all blended into the brightness of it all.

_I was slowly flying through the light, and I felt myself touch ground, but when I opened my eyes, I was standing on what felt like solid rock. I looked around, but it was all blurry. I thought I smelled the scent of flowers, and realized that I was still in my human form, and I didn't have my oxygen mask on. _

_ I scrambled to cover my face, but I felt warmth rush through my fingers as I did so, and something softened inside my heart, soothing me. _

I had no reason to be afraid.

_ I don't know where the words came from, but I slowly lowered my hands, and climbed down the rock with clumsy movements, finally reaching the bottom. _

_ It took me a second to realize that I was standing on water; only I wasn't sinking or unbalanced, like I should've been. It was instead similar to standing on a thick sheet of glass, but when I knelt down to drift my fingers across the surface, it rippled like water usually did. I frowned, and was going to investigate further when I saw a soft glow in the corner of my eye. I looked up to see a softly glowing tree in the center of the body of water that I suddenly recognized as a lake. A small shore surrounded it, and I instinctively made my way towards it. _

_ My feet made no sound as they touched the shore, and I felt soft sand between my toes. _

_ This was a very strange dream. Was this what was supposed to happen while transferring into an Avatar body? _

_ I looked up into the waving branches of the tree, seeing the bright pink strands that hung down like a curtain, pulsing with energy that made the very air seem to shiver. _

_ I reached out to touch them, and they felt like thick ropes that were strangely soft and silky against my long, blue fingers. I looked down with a yell. I was in my Avatar form, somehow, and I rushed to the shore to stare down at my reflection in the water. _

_ Large, almond shaped eyes stared back at me with such an expression of surprise that I could almost see myself in their golden depths. The small dots on my face were glowing softly in the light of the tree, and I saw with slight annoyance that I was unclothed. _

_ But I didn't feel embarrassed, for who was there to see me? _

_ No one. _

_ A strand of the tree slowly touched my forehead, and I felt my body freezing, even my fingers slowly hardening into the curved position they were in now. I couldn't move, couldn't turn away. _

_ A deep pulsing feeling began in my chest and spread throughout my body, searching, studying. I felt as if I was being scanned somehow, but before I could think about it, it was over, and I fell backwards onto the grass. I was gasping for breath, but I was uninjured, as I realized when I looked down at myself in worry. _

_ What had just happened? _

_ I looked up at the tree again, and I saw something walking across the lake toward me, and turned to see a horribly familiar person standing there. _

_ It was a short, slender girl with long blonde hair, her bright hazel eyes shining in the glow of the tree, her small hand waving at me. There was a sad smile on her freckled face, and she was dressed in a baggy tank top and jeans. She looked awkward in her clothes, but she didn't seem to notice. Her eyes were glued on me like I was the only thing there. _

_ I blinked, and it all seemed to click. _

_ It was _me_. _

_ I spoke, and my voice echoed, slightly lower and more raspy than I was used to. _

_ "What is this? Where am I?" _

_ My human form just shook her head, and touched her throat with her calloused fingers, smiling ruefully. I frowned, and she just shook her head, coming even closer, until the only thing that separated us was the line that linked the water and the grainy sand of the shore. She reached out slowly, and I felt myself doing the same. _

_ Sadness boiled in my heart as I saw her struggle to speak again, tears pricking in her eyes. She wanted to say something, and yet something prevented her from doing so. What did she want to say? _

_ I felt her fingers, small and cool against mine, and a spark of light seemed to glimmer between our connected palms, shining in between our fingers, mine that were so much larger than hers. And yet if you looked closely, you'd see that our hands were exactly the same. _

_ She was me, Sara Mason. She was a deep part of my heart that I hadn't realized was there until this moment. She knew me inside out, my good side and my bad side, my fears and dreams, everything there was to know about Sara Mason. I smiled at her, and let my fingers intertwine with hers gently. _

_ The ghost like figure of myself glowed as a tear escaped her hazel eye, and a blinding smile split her face. _

_ I felt a rumbling in the tree behind me, and turned to stare at the waving threads of glowing pink. I felt one of them wave around to gently brush against my arm, and I gasped as the strange floating feeling came back, along with a humming sense of _rightness_ that hadn't been there before. I looked up the bark, and felt a glow of content, as well as pride. _

_ The girl who was me laughed, and I reached forward to keep her hands locked in mine. The floating feeling receded slightly, and I heard her speak. _

_ "Its time to go back." _

_ I blinked. "Wait, why couldn't you talk before?" _

_ "I couldn't, because she wouldn't let me. You had to go through with it without knowing." _

_ I blinked again. "Wait, go through _what_?" _

_ "Eywa's test. She doesn't just lend her power to anyone, you know. You have to have a good heart to pass her test…and you have a good heart, Sara Mason. I'm happy for you." She said with a grin, touching my larger cheek, another tear dripping down her button nose and into the water, creating a slight ripple. I stared down at her, staring into her hazel eyes._

_ "Then why are you crying?" _

_ The girl who was me stood with a fluid motion, tears coming in a torrent now. _

_ I felt myself floating again, and I felt something wet running down my cheek. The girl remained on that shore, staring at me as I floated away into the light. Her mouth moved, and the hum was so loud in my ears that I couldn't hear what she said. I yelled to her, but then everything snapped, and all was dark again. _

I felt the cool bark against my bare back, and heard soft voices around me. I picked out Norm's anxious one among them.

"Jake, what's happening? She isn't waking up."

"I don't know." Jake sounded frantic, and I opened my eyes, surprised to find them awash with tears. Jake's relieved face wavered in front of my eyes, and Norm's joined a second later.

"Sara! We were so worried you wouldn't wake up." Norm sounded close to tears, and I slowly sat up.

I was in my Avatar body, but there was a sense of finality this time. I knew that when I went to sleep, there would be no waking up in my human body anymore. This was who I was now.

I looked over at my human body, and slowly moved so I was above its cold figure.

The body's blonde hair was strewn around her head and back, and the slender curve of her spine fitted perfectly into a smooth curve of a nearby root. Tiny hands were curled into gentle fists, and the face was perfectly smooth, calm. I felt tears falling when I saw the tear glimmering on the smooth tan cheek.

I knew what that girl had said now, how she had closed her eyes in calm acceptance as I floated into the light.

"Goodbye…" I whispered, reaching down to cradle the golden head in my hands. I felt Norm's hand on my shoulder, but I brushed it away, stroking the wisps of stray blonde hair behind a small ear.

I heard the others moving away, until Jake and Norm were the only ones remaining. I saw the tight braids falling onto my shoulder, and felt the thick braid that was somewhat separate from the others falling to my waist, sliding over my shoulder as I hunched forward to kiss the cold forehead for a moment.

_Goodbye_.

* * *

_Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _Avatar Holding Shack outside the abandoned RDA station.

_Time/Date:_ November 20, 2154. I forgot to bring a watch, so I don't know what time it is.

***

_Entry 3_

_ It was done. _

_ I was in my Avatar body, forever. _

_ Should I feel happy? Should I be running around like a maniac, like Norm was currently doing? What should I do now, now that I had left everything that tied me to the human world behind? I hope that whoever is reading this now knows what I should have done, because I was coming up with nothing. _

_ After a few more minutes, I moved away from the body, and vaguely noticed that Norm had his arm around my shoulders, and was leading me somewhere. It was too dark to know where, but I felt myself being placed down on a soft surface, and I was asleep before I could try to wipe the tears away. _

_ The next morning I had woken up to Jake's smiling face, and Neytiri holding a bowl of what looked like a kind of grain mixed with vegetables. I ate without tasting, and Jake explained what was to happen with Norm and I. _

_ He explained that we were to stay with the Omaticaya clan, and that we would have a week or two to rest before the training began to make us truly one with The People. _

_ My response had been interrupted by a loud voice barking something at Jake. We all had turned to see a tall female Na'vi with elaborate face-paint and fierce eyes. Her hair was tied with brightly colored beads, and I stared at her blankly, too numb from the recent meeting with my inner self to consider being afraid. _

_ Neytiri growled, but Jake put a hand on her arm, and stood. Neytiri stood as well, and Jake slowly said something in the dialect of the Na'vi. I focused, and I could catch glimpses of what he was saying. Neytiri joined, and the three began arguing. _

_ The stranger wanted something from me, and Jake was asking what she wanted, and Neytiri was asking why, why choose her?! _

_ What the hell were they talking about? And why were they talking about me as if I was somehow mysteriously absent? _

_ I remember clearing my throat, and they all stopped to look at me. I looked at Jake. _

_ "What's going on?" _

_ Jake sighed. "This is the leader of the Tipani clan, and she wishes to have a say in where you will live." _

_ Neytiri's lips twitched slightly, and quietly amended his statement. "She wishes to adopt you into her clan, for she sees much strength and you. It is a great honor, for the Tipani do not usually have any patience for the dream walkers." _

_ The leader nodded, and spoke again, this time in English, which surprised me. _

_ "I return tomorrow, come if you wish." Her accent was thicker than Neytiri's, and it took me a moment to understand exactly what she meant. I gasped in shock, and the leader was gone before I could ask her to repeat herself. I looked at Jake, who was emotionless, and Neytiri, who was a bit awed. _

_ Jake spoke after a while. "Will you go?" _

_ I swallowed hard, watching as a couple of Na'vi children chased Norm around the camp, their giggles pure and ringing as the chiming of bells. _

_ "I don't know." I had replied. _

_ Life was sure getting demanding, wasn't it? _

_ I mean, first I'm asked to be a Na'vi, and next I'm asked to come with a stranger to a village that doesn't normally accept Avatars. _

_ I was too terrified to be flattered. _

_End of Entry 3_


	4. Decision of a Lifetime

Hey everyone! I am so grateful to all of you that reviewed/favorited/story-alerted this story! I'm pleasantly surprised that so many people are enjoying this story, and I'm excited to see what you guys think!

Hope you like the chapter (if you dont like it, please say so, and explain what exactly what you dont like about it. Seriously, i WANT constructive criticism, it'll help my writing!) and please review!

:D

* * *

I sat on the large root of the Tree of Souls, staring down at the small crevice covered in leaves and flower petals…the place where my human body was buried in the way of the Na'vi.

_Energy is only borrowed, and one day you have to give it back. _

Jake had said it in one of his journal logs, and it was only now that I realized how true that statement was. No matter how hard you tried to avoid it, Death always waited to collect his due in the end, and the cost was so high that your life was all that sufficed.

I sighed, and slowly stood up, staring up at the softly waving strands that made up the Tree of Souls, the glow seeming muted by the blinding rays of the early morning sun. The forest was quiet, but my pointed ears perked up as I heard tiny sounds that would have been a part of the silence in my human body.

The calm buzz of an insect in the brush, its brightly colored wings glinting as it dipped out of sight. The water dripping from a river nearby, and the sounds of Na'vi children laughing accompanied with delightful splashes as they played. I even heard the snorts and snuffles of a direhorse that was drifting a little too far from its grazing field, and I smiled as I leaned my head back to stare at the trees that loomed thousands of feet above my head.

This place was beautiful.

It was also the most dangerous, hostile environment known to man.

You get some, you lose some. I remember thinking something similar a while ago. _You get some, and you lose a lot more. _Ah, yes, that was it. If Pandora could be described in one phrase, that would be among my top three choices.

I heard a twig snap under wide feet, and my ear swiveled toward the sound – you might be wondering: Why does she keep commentating on how her ears now move like they would on a cat? Well, let's see _you_ become a Na'vi, gain at least three feet, a tail, _and _ears that move around randomly and without any conscious command, and _not_ talk about them every chance you get!

I turned to see the leader from yesterday morning; I had never learned her name. Her golden eyes stared at me unblinkingly, and then at the Tree of Souls, her hands loosely at her sides. She was, like most of the Na'vi females, practically nude, with only a few thick leather necklaces covering her breasts, and a loincloth that hung around her middle. But she also had armbands and an ornate headpiece that was decorated with carved pieces of stone and brightly colored materials.

Even without the important markings on her clothing, I could have figured out that this woman was a leader just by the way she walked, the way she held herself. The additional ornaments were only worn to please herself, not to let others know that she was a leader.

The Na'vi leader moved forward, and said the customary greeting of _Oel ngati kameie_, or _I see you_, and I returned the saying after taking a moment to remember how to move my hand as I said the words. I remember Dr. Augustine teaching me about it one day when it was just she and I in the lab, me struggling to learn the language of the Na'vi. I had always had trouble with it; I assumed it was because I knew that I wouldn't ever speak with one of the natives if I could help it (funny how quickly things change, isn't it?), but I remember enough to allow me to understand about half of what the Na'vi people were saying, if they were speaking at a normal speed.

I remembered that day with a sad smile.

_"No, say it right!" _

_ "Oel nage–"_

_ "No, it's _ngati_, not nageti!" _

_ "Ugh!" I remember leaning my head forward so my forehead was resting on the cool metal of the table. I groaned pathetically as Dr. Augustine growled curses of annoyance under her breath. _

_ "What does this even mean, anyway?" I asked quietly, and peeked up to gage her reaction. It was one of the first things I had read about in her book, but it was too many years ago for me to remember it perfectly. Dr. Augustine sighed, and waited until I raised my head, staring at me for a moment before turning to stare out into the cool Pandora morning. _

_ "It means, 'I see you'." _

_ "Wait, so you just…_see_ me?" _

_ "No!" She shot me an exasperated glare, and I frowned, waiting for her to continue. "It's not just 'I see you' in a literal way, its deeper. It's like saying, I see your heart, I acknowledge that we are both Na'vi living under Eywa; I see…it's hard to explain. Just know that there are different meanings to it, and that although it is a general saying among the Na'vi, it can mean different things to different clan members." _

_ I had whined. "Wait, there's _variations_?! I'm having trouble learning just the _one_ 'I see you'!" _

_ Dr. Grace Augustine had hit me over the head with her large book, and we, with me rubbing my head gingerly, continued with the lesson. _

I focused on the leader, and she stared at me without fear, her chin thrust out proudly. Her tail slowly waved back and forth behind her calves, and the beads on her loincloth clinked as she shifted her weight to her other foot. I dimly realized that she was a few inches taller than me, her eyes slightly above mine.

"Have you decided?" Her accented voice pierced the silence, and I looked away toward the tree, staring up into the softly glowing strands that waved gently in the breeze. I heard the leader move past me to kneel beside the place where my human body was buried. I saw her touch the soft leaves with her long fingers, and her eyes didn't reveal any emotion as she stared down at the spot.

"Why…why do you want me in your clan?" I asked softly, and she was silent for a moment, continuing to stare down at the spot where my human body lay. Her face was calm, smooth, but I could see that she was thinking about my question.

After a few long moments, she stood once more.

"As she said," I assumed she meant Neytiri, "I see much strength in you, and that will help the Tipani clan regain what it has lost. You have…Eywa's light shining through your heart." She moved forward to touch the place where my heart beat strongly, and I pulled back without thinking.

"But you do not wish it to be so. You are still drawn to these…Sky People. I wish for you to come with my clan because I see that your heart belongs with Eywa, with The People. Have you decided? My clan and I must leave immediately."

I swallowed, and stared down at the spot of flowers and leaves, and stared up at the Tree of Souls.

I made a split decision, one of those decisions that you have to make without thinking, because if you _do _think about it then you'll get too frightened and chicken out. It was one of those really important decisions, and I prayed to God – or to Eywa. Whoever was guiding my existence these days – that I wasn't making a mistake.

_I felt my human form's fingers, small and cool against mine, and a spark of light seemed to glimmer between our connected palms, shining in between our fingers, mine that were so much larger than hers. And yet if you looked closely, you'd see that our hands were exactly the same. _

_ She was me, Sara Mason. She was a deep part of my heart that I hadn't realized was there until this moment. She knew me inside out, my good side and my bad side, my fears and dreams, everything there was to know about Sara Mason._

I let the breeze tousle my braided hair, and I felt my long fingers clench into fists. The Na'vi woman standing beside my human grave looked up at me, her golden eyes seeming to see through my soul.

"I'll go with you."

* * *

After packing my few belonging into a small pack, I made my way back to the Omaticaya clan's new Hometree, and found that the Tipani clan warriors (mostly men, and some women) were already ready to go, quietly mounting their direhorses and banshees. The Omaticaya clan was standing silently in the large area behind them, their large eyes calm and vigilant as they watched the Tipani clan preparing to leave.

Jake and Neytiri weren't surprised to see me packed – I assumed that the Tipani clan leader had informed them of my decision – and Jake patted my shoulder as I thanked them, Neytiri moved forward to touch my cheek, staring at me for a long moment before turning away to converse with the clan leader.

I blinked; surprised by her abrupt goodbye, and Jake chuckled, leaning in to whisper.

"She does that to me too…it's nothing personal. She just isn't really the hugging and crying type."

I nodded, too nervous to smile, and he held his arms out for a hug. "Old habits die hard. The Na'vi don't really do this kind of thing in public, but the heck with it." Jake muttered, and I hugged him tightly.

"I'll miss you guys…"

I heard Norm say somberly. "We'll miss you too, Sara."

I grinned at him, and he flushed, trying not to look too hopeful as Jake and I broke apart. Good old Norm…always so predictable. Though I never found out why he always blushed when I was around…I've got to work on that, the next time I see him. It bothered me that I didn't know when I would see him again, and I pushed it back, forcing myself to keep smiling.

"Don't think you're missing out, Norm, c'mere." I said, blinking back tears as I hugged my friend tightly. Norm was surprised, tense and stiff at first, but his arms quickly moved to hold me so tightly that it was hard to breathe. His face was buried in my shoulder, and I felt his shaky breaths on my bare skin. I was actually lifted off the ground for a moment before he hurriedly released me, his golden eyes sad in a way that I can only begin to describe.

"Be sure to visit, o-okay?"

I punched him on the arm as the leader of the Tipani clan gestured for me to hurry. "Of course!"

I ran over to where the Tipani clan leader was waiting impatiently, and she nudged me toward one of the riders that were silently sitting on their six legged mounts. I was relieved to find that the direhorse wasn't nearly as threatening as it had been in my human form, and I looked up at the rider who was holding out a hand. It was a woman, and her face was young and serious. I smiled at her, and she gave me a small smile back, her eyes widening with retrained curiosity at the sight of my hand, which had five fingers instead of the usual four of the Na'vi.

After looking at my fingers for a second or so, she took my hand and pulled me up onto the direhorse in front of her. I quickly gripped the large creature's shoulders with my knees, and the young woman leaned forward, and by some unspoken signal among the people of the Tipani clan, everyone set off.

Banshees shrieked as they took to the air, grass being flattened as their powerful wings beat against the pull of gravity. I heard the clan leader's high-pitched shout of joy as the lead banshee spun in a loop. The Omaticaya clan whooped and shouted their goodbye as we moved rapidly through the brush. I looked back to see Jake and Neytiri waving to us, Norm and the other children running after the direhorses even though they knew it was pointless. The last thing I saw was Norm picking up a little girl and putting her on his shoulders, her bright face alight with glee at her oversized new playmate. Jake and Neytiri were standing very close, their tails loosely intertwined, wide smiles on their faces as they waved.

And then they were gone, and their yells soon faded to nothing. The only sound was the breathing of the direhorses and the sound of their heavy hooves pounding a relentless rhythm on the mossy forest floor. I faced forward, trying to commit that happy scene of farewell to my memory.

The banshees were gone from sight as they soared above the thick canopy that blocked the sun from sight, sending us into the dim green glow of the deep forest, making me look around in wonder.

The forest was lush and green, the greenish tint created by the canopy making everything look even greener then it actually was. Flowers were everywhere, their thick frothy petals exuding a light flowery fragrance that remained with us as we galloped through the undergrowth.

The young woman who was silently directing the direhorse kept looking at me, and then when I caught her, she'd look away again. If I had to take a guess, I'd say that she was a bit younger than I was, a few years or so. I cleared my throat after an hour or so of this awkward silence, and her golden eyes snapped to my face.

"Um, I'm Sara."

Her elegant brow furrowed, and for a split second I wondered if she was among those who didn't know English. My assumption was corrected a moment later, for her hesitant voice spoke.

"You…one of Sky People?" Her speech was broken and nervous, and I knew that she, like me with the language of the Na'vi, wasn't fluent in English. I nodded, and she frowned in concentration, her mouth opening to speak again. "You come to be one of…Tipani clan?"

"Yes. What's your name?" I asked, and she frowned more deeply, confused. Her direhorse didn't even appear to be slowing or crashing into anything, even though the young woman was concentrating on my question.

I smiled, and pointed to myself. "Sara." And then pointed to her, waiting.

She raised an eyebrow in incredulous confusion, and I repeated the process, again and again, and then she got it, her eyes brightening.

"Lielu." She said clearly, and I grinned.

"Lielu." I repeated, and she smiled widely.

"Sara."

Lielu and I spent the rest of the long journey naming objects in both the language of the Na'vi and in English. I learned many new words, I would have to remember to type them in my electronic journal stored in my pack later, if I had time.

When we made camp for the night, Lielu made a point of sitting next to me at dinner, and I failed in keeping a ridiculous smile from breaking across my face.

I had a new friend.

Things were looking up.

For now. You never know what will happen next, and if I had learned anything from my six years on Pandora, it was that things are always changing, always shifting, and if you weren't prepared for that, then you were digging your own grave.

Literally.

God, I sound like such a pessimist. A pessimist who used _way_ too many clichés and overused phrases that ended up making her sound unbelievably corny and stupid (as is proved in that last ghastly statement).

How does a girl like me, with all that is listed above, end up being adopted by the Tipani Clan?

The sad thing is, even with all the explanations I've been given; I still have _no idea_, when I really think about it.

***

_Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _Tipani Clan Hometree

_Time/Date:_ November 21, 2154, and I don't have a watch, and wont be getting one any time soon (I tend to forget crucial items like that), so I'm just going to cut out the whole time thing. It'll just be the date from now on.

_Entry 4_

_ We arrived at the Tipani Clan Hometree an hour ago, and its like midnight I'm guessing. Everyone around me is asleep, and I'm currently in a hammock that hangs high in the air, trying to get my info down so I can get some sleep. I'll go into more detail on the Tipani Hometree tomorrow, because I cant really see it clearly in the pitch blackness of night, but I could see by the dim glow of the bio-luminescent plants that were in the forest surrounding it that this tree was _enormous_. Not that I expected anything else, but even so, seeing it with my own eyes was surprising. It literally disappeared into the darkness of the sky above, and even with my new enhanced eyes I couldn't see the top of it. _

_ Lielu is a mystery, but I suppose she would say the same about me. We try to communicate as much as possible, but our conversations are limited by the fact that neither of us was fluent in a shared language. I mean to teach as many Na'vi to speak English as possible, if the clan leader – I had learned from Lielu that her name was Sänume, and she was both the leader and the tsahik (or spiritual leader who communicated with Eywa) of the Tipani – allowed it. I hoped so. _

_ I was shocked to how many clan members there were, hundreds of women and men that had stayed behind in the war, and small children who stared with wide golden eyes as Sänume explained my adoption to her people in the language of the Na'vi. She must've been pretty persuasive, because when she stopped talking, no one objected, instead cheering and whooping loudly. _

_ As I've said in one of my earlier entries, saying I was surprised would be the biggest understatement in the world. The Na'vi were supposed to be against the idea of human Avatars…unless this clan was different from the Omaticaya in that respect. I guess I'd learn eventually. _

_ Sänume pulled me aside after the meeting, as everyone began making their way to sleeping hammocks in the higher levels of the tree. _

_ "You will learn our ways, and after this, you will go through the test to become a Tipani warrior. Tomorrow, you will begin." _

_ "Okay. But who will teach me?" _

_ Sänume said that she hadn't decided yet, and sent me off with Lielu to go to sleep. _

_ Of course, I hadn't gone to sleep immediately, as Lielu had done, instead whipping out this bad boy and typing as fast as I could without making too much noise. _

_ Darn, I think the light from the screen is waking her up, better wrap it up. _

_ I am surprised to say that I'm actually excited to begin training, even though I know I will make an utter and complete fool of myself. I pitied whoever my teacher was, not because I was a brat or anything, but because when it came to athletic stuff…I was a failure. That's the only way to describe it. I'm better in this body, but even so, my reflexes are still pathetic. _

_ Ask Norm, he'll tell you. _

_ Oh dang it, I had ordered myself not to think of him, or Max, or Jake and Neytiri. Now I was thinking about them, and it hurt in my chest as I did so. _

_ I missed them. _

_ I missed Norm's weirdness and nervousness; I missed Jake being…well, Jake being _Jake_. I missed Max's little grin of smug glee at seeing me trip over my own feet. I even missed Neytiri's gracefulness, though I was still a tiny bit jealous of her beauty and agile movements. Hey, I'm still a girl, which means that of course I get miffed when a goddess of a person comes sauntering up to upstage me – even though Neytiri didn't mean to upstage me, not at _all_, it still hurt a little to look at her sometimes. _

_ Okay, I'm definitely starting to wake up Lielu over to my right, so I'm going to end it there. _

_ Sigh, like I'm going to get any sleep now, with the thoughts of my friends running through my mind non-stop. Great plan Sara…real smart. _

_ I will not cry, I will not cry, I will–_

_ Damn. I'm crying. _

_ Max, if you're reading this right now at the Station, I miss you so much, I miss everyone so much that it hurts. I hope that you can get the message to the rest of them, somehow. _

_ I miss you all so much. But don't worry, I'll get through it. I'm strong, right? _

_ I have to be strong. _

_End of Entry 4_

_***  
_


	5. Fight or Flight

Hey, I'm pleased to bring an update so soon after posting the last chapter! I just felt a need to get a move on with Sara's story, and so here you go. I felt a bit shaky on this chapter, so good **constructive criticism** would be REALLY appreciated! Please let me know if my writing is getting a little off track or just plain BAD so i can be sure to fix it!

Thanks, and hope you like the chapter!

* * *

_ Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _Tipani Clan Hometree

_Date:_ November 22, 2154

_***_

_Entry 5_

_ It's a few hours after dawn, and I need to write something down here before I head out, just on the off chance I get killed. Ugh, I've got to stop being so negative; it's wearing on me. It's hard to be positive though, on a planet like Pandora. I'm trying though, so hang with me. _

_ Lielu had awaked me early in the morning, like _really _early, and she had giggled at my exhausted expression before slowly speaking in Na'vi, pantomiming where I didn't understand. I got enough of it to know that she would be taking me to the woman Citra, who would be teaching me the ways of The People, along with the other new trainees that hoped to pass the Na'vi coming-of-age test. Oh joy. _More_ people there to witness my complete lack of balance and endurance. _

_ I liked Lielu a lot; she seemed like a nice girl, and patient, too. I needed someone like her now, to help me get used to this strange new life I had chosen. I remember waking up to the interior of the hammock, and all of the memories pouring into my mind like a torrent of water. I had been so accustomed to waking up to the underside of Max's bunk that it was a shock to see the rays of sunlight piercing through the strands of the hammock. A second later, Lielu's cheerful face had poked into my line of vision, making me jump. I had forgotten how stealthy the Na'vi were, silently moving without a single sound. _

_ Lielu had given me an outfit to change into, if you could even call it an outfit, really. It composed of a leather band a little wider than my palm, and a loincloth. That was it. I assumed the band of leather was for my chest, and for that I was grateful. I wasn't sure I was comfortable to run around _completely_ topless yet, as the other women did. I quickly pulled on the loincloth, and tied the band around my chest and tightly tied it in the back. _

_ Lielu muttered something after seeing me in my new outfit, but when I asked her what she said, she seemed embarrassed. _

_ She answered in broken English. "You no look like…uniltìrantokx…that come before. You look like…Na'vi hunter, Na'vi woman…" She flushed, and for an instant I was reminded of Norm, but I quickly pushed the memory of him aside before I started crying again. _

_ I knew from Dr. Augustine's lessons that uniltìrantokx meant Avatar body, or dream-walker body. I remember Dr. Augustine saying something similar a year or so ago, when she had seen my full-grown Avatar. She had said that my features were frighteningly similar to the features of the native Na'vi, save the fact that I had five fingers instead of four, and eyebrows instead of none. Now that even Lielu, one of the natives, was saying it…I didn't know whether to be flattered or not. _

_ I suppose I should be flattered, because the Na'vi women were very graceful and beautiful people, as were the men, though on a different scale. The men were much fiercer physically, their features less delicate than those of the women. _

_ I smiled, and thanked her. _

_ She had given me a small smile, and then she had gone down to get us some food, and told me that we would be leaving soon to meet Citra and the other young Na'vi. I had pulled out my journal, and here I am. I suppose there's not much else to say, other than the fact that I'm still scared out of my pants (would I say "loincloths" now?). But I had it in check now, I knew that I had to be strong; I knew that I couldn't let my friends down. _

_ Hey, if Jake Sully could do it, why couldn't I? _

_ Maybe it's the fact that he doesn't have a single thought of self-preservation and hesitation in that overconfident head of his…hmm…_

_ Ugh, what am I doing? Okay, I'm logging off before I get started on how completely different Jake and I were, and how comparing him and me would be similar to comparing a snarling tiger and a small mouse. A small, dead mouse, to be more accurate._

_End of Entry 5_

* * *

I closed the laptop with a sigh, and looked up to see Lielu gracefully swing upwards so she was balanced on the thick rope that held my hammock to the branch. Her balance awed me as she unerringly passed me a piece of dried meat, without quivering in the slightest, perfectly comfortable.

I ate quickly, and struggled to imitate Lielu's casual leap to the branch, and was relieved to find that some things came naturally to this body, such as keeping my body balanced even when hundreds of feet in the air. I remember one of Jake Sully's video logs.

_"I had to trust my body to know what to do." _

I tried not to look down as I followed Lielu down the stair like branches that wound around a thick center trunk that was within the huge Hometree of the Tipani Clan. I looked around me in wonder as we reached the bottom floor, almost oblivious to the stares and whispers that began almost immediately when my feet touched the hard dirt floor.

The main meeting area was enormous, with a large ledge that overlooked the entire area, behind it a bunch of poles that supported a huge banshee skull, much larger than the ones I had seen earlier. It almost looked like…the skull of Jake's banshee, or our name for it, the skull of a leonopteryx. I stared up at it in wonder; it was enormous, one of the fangs being the length of my thumb, and at least two times as wide. I shuddered at the thought of one of those tearing into unwary flesh, and turned away, staring up above me.

There was a large circular opening that was directly above the stone ledge, and bright sunlight streamed through to create almost a spotlight that highlighted the fierce bones of the leonopteryx skull. The rest of the area was covered by a large overhang of wood that curved to become a part of the large outer bark that made up the exterior of the tree.

All around there were small groups of Na'vi clan members that were starting to loose interest in me; women with half finished weaving in their long fingers, children holding leaves with faces drawn on with charcoal, sticks stuck through the base of the leave to create arms and legs. Men with knives, slowly sharpening their spears and arrowheads, their golden eyes watching me as I glanced around. Lielu nudged aside some women who were still staring, and that movement seemed to make everyone aware that they were staring.

With a jerk, everyone turned away, and a murmur of talk arose to become apart of the air once more, filling the tree with the sounds of life and comfort. Giggles of children soon filled the air, and I saw a group of children resume their dancing around the skull of the leonopteryx, one of them boldly running up to poke a finger through one of the eyeholes, much to the awe and admiration of the other children currently watching with wide golden eyes.

I laughed quietly to myself.

A Na'vi mother that was currently sewing some leather glanced over at the children automatically, her fingers not skipping a stitch as she carefully observed their play before turning back to her sewing, a small smile on her full lips. I smiled.

The Na'vi weren't that different, really. They were as intelligent as we were – more so, to an extent – they felt just as much pain as we did, imagined to the same unbelievable extent, they loved just as strongly. Colonel Quaritch had convinced himself that they were savages bent on killing all human life; how he had done so was beyond me. It didn't take more than a glance to know that these people were indeed _people_, and they had needs and rights, just like humans did.

Lielu was waiting for me, and I tore my eyes away from the children to follow her. There was a large opening at the front of the tree, what I assumed to be the entrance. We walked out into the sunlight, and I blinked at the sudden brightness before eagerly taking in the surrounding forest.

The Tipani Clan lived a few miles from the ocean, their Hometree deeply buried in the tropical forests that were similar to the land of the Omaticaya. Lush, green, bursting with life. There were several warriors conversing by a direhorse, their voices soft and almost indiscernible. Their eyes glanced over at me in unison before returning to their intense conversation.

Lielu didn't seem to notice the stares, instead striding toward the trees, and I dimly noticed that she had a bow on her back, along with a quiver. I glanced around me nervously as the lush green leaves of the large looming bushes swallowed us whole, and I glanced down to see that we were following a faint trail.

My new friend, after a few moments of silence, glanced back at me.

"Citra…not far. She speak…Sky People language, so you understand."

I perked up in surprise. So far only Sänume had known English, and I was pleased to find that more than one clan member knew the language as well.

I couldn't keep my head from twisting around constantly to stare at the forest; it was just so beautiful and breathtaking in the light of day that it was almost automatic to stare.

The moss covered roots that made up parts of the path were soft under my feet, and I ducked beneath a log to see that brightly colored flowers with petals the size of my hand were blooming there, bright blue and green. The trees around us were large and glorious, and if I listened I could hear sounds of creatures scurrying and calling to each other within the branches that loomed above our heads.

Lielu darted under a log, her braids tumbling around her narrow shoulders, the long thick braid that all Na'vi possessed following the contours of her curved spine as she swung lightly down to crouch neatly on the forest floor. It was a drop of about twenty feet, and yet she did it as effortlessly as if she were stepping down a mere foot; easy, thoughtless, so automatic that it was second nature.

I carefully grabbed onto one of the vines nearby to slide down, not trusting my body enough yet to attempt that graceful maneuver. Lielu laughed at my timid decent that took three times as long as hers, but I determinedly ignored her, continuing until I felt the soft grass on my bare feet before letting go. It was weird to feel my tail stretched out behind me to keep my balance, but at the same time it felt _natural_ in an even weirder way.

Lielu and I soon came to a clearing that held many targets and several Na'vi shooting arrows, their faces determined and focused. I heard the barking orders of a woman who stood with her back to us, and Lielu cringed as she woman's tone became shriller.

"Citra." Lielu murmured, and the woman, her ear swiveling around when she heard her name, chose that moment to turn around, the young Na'vi who she was berating looking relived to have Citra's attention somewhere else for the moment.

I found myself staring into hard golden eyes, and for an instant I saw Dr. Grace Augustine in that weathered, unfriendly face. The face that looked nothing like the Dr. Augustine I had known and yet traces of her features were present this Na'vi woman's face. I blinked, and the similarities seemed to blend into nothing.

"So, you're that girl that Grace told me about. Sara, was it?"

I blinked rapidly, shock so strong in my mind that I couldn't speak. The woman snorted derisively, peering at me with large golden eyes that were both wary and wise.

"What, surprised? You must be forgetting that Grace was here for years before you came to Pandora, she traveled to many of the clans before settling with the Omaticaya." Her English was flawless, her Na'vi accent almost indiscernible. How long had she studied English with Dr. Augustine? And why did she say Dr. Augustine's name with such a bitter, resentful tone? Had they known each other? Citra went on, interrupting my endless questions that whirled through my thoughts. "Yes, Grace told be about you when you first came here, before she cut off all contact with us. Small, timid, dedicated she said it was like looking into a younger version of herself, before coming to Pandora." I felt tears welling up, but quickly blinked them away.

Lielu made to speak, but Citra raised a hand, and Lielu went silent. "I know why you're here, Sara. And I'm going to tell you right now that you don't have the stomach for it. You'll die trying to pass the test, I suggest you go back to your Sky People and your machines before you get yourself killed."

My mouth dropped, and Citra smirked. 'Now, if you excuse me, I have work to do."

No, wait, I have to pass this test! Don't walk away from me you–

Before I could comprehend what I was doing, my legs shifted, and I was blocking Citra's way. The woman scowled, trying to push past me, but even though my mind was screaming at me to move, my legs were like stone. Citra raised her arms to shove me.

"Move!"

I felt my torso bending forward effortlessly, and she was pushing at empty air. My leg flipped forward and under her feet. It wasn't fast enough, and a she jumped back, her eyes wide with surprise.

The training area went as still as death, and I heard Lielu gasp behind me.

What the hell was I _doing_? I couldn't control my body; it was as if a great force was rising in my chest, a primeval emotion that was so instinctive that I obeyed it without question. There had been a second when I had had a moment of hesitation, and then that instinctive emotion had taken hold, forcing me to react. To fight back.

She had attacked me, and there were two options.

To flee away from the danger, or to stay and fight off the imposing threat.

My body was not used to running away; it had been designed to fight off enemies, to be strong.

I felt a vibration rumbling through my throat, and I realized that it was an animalistic growl, my ears flat against my skull, my long tail whipping behind me violently.

"Sara–" Lielu began, and then spoke fearfully in the language of the Na'vi, so fast that I only caught one word.

_Don't. _

Citra grinned in anticipation, waving off Lielu's protests.

"No…this is interesting. I'll make you a deal, Sara. If you can prove to me that you are worthy, then I'll train you along with the others. But instead of fighting me, you'll fight…"

Citra looked around for a moment before her eyes locked on a male Na'vi who was shooting an arrow, his arrow hitting the center of the target perfectly. My eyes scanned his lean, chiseled muscles that showed his strength, and his long braid that hung down his back. The young man turned as Citra called his name, and I found myself staring into fierce golden eyes that narrowed at the sight of my aggressive crouch. His face was calm, and composed, his ears flickering back as a hiss escaped my bared teeth.

"You will fight Kinak."

I glanced over at Lielu, whose face had blanched and a worried look came over her face.

I turned to stare at Kinak, who was slowly lowering his bow and walking over to me. He stopped when he was a few yards away, and he didn't even tense. I felt my muscles quivering as I felt something tingle in my chest.

He was waiting for me to make the first move.

We both stared at each other, and Kinak suddenly jumped at me, his golden eyes glaringly bright in my line of sight, and it suddenly clicked.

It was the young man from after the battle with the RDA. The one on the dire horse who had found me with a bullet in my arm, bleeding to death.

Kinak was the one who had saved my life.


	6. Again and Again

Hey! sorry that it's so _short_...i hope you guys like it anyway! Please review, and please tell me if its too corny or anything so i can change it!

Thanks!

:D

* * *

The moment I felt Kinak's hand encircle my wrist, everything was wiped away for the moment as adrenaline started pumping frantically, making me react before I could finish being shocked beyond belief in the security of my mind.

I let myself go.

You think you know what that means?

Trust me, you don't. Not like this, _not like this_.

I let my body do what it had been designed to do; to fight for survival. I felt the strength in my hands, in my legs, in my chest as I ducked, flipping him over me with a jerk. His hand remained on my wrist, but I broke his grip with a twist of my arm and a shove. Kinak was stronger than I was, so my shove only halted his attack for a split second before he launched himself at me again. I felt a grin splitting my lips so wide that it hurt, and I met him mid-jump, gaining more leverage and sending him tumbling into the nearest post. We both were snarling, trying to get the upper hand, scrambling to punch and kick, hissing when our feet and hands made contact. He was so much stronger than me, but I was more flexible than he was – only slightly – and so I was able to maneuver slightly more efficiently.

Emphasis on _slightly_.

Kinak was obviously holding back, and I only figured that out after he suddenly flexed his legs, and I was sent over his head and into the dirt, leaving me to spit out a glob of blood as well as some grass out of my mouth from where my lips collided roughly with the ground. Kinak smirked smugly, in the way that made my blood boil.

I knew that he was better than me. I knew that I shouldn't even be trying to beat him. But I couldn't stop myself from trying. I wouldn't give up, even if it meant that I died.

I finally realized why the Na'vi were often killed in the training to become warriors. Was it this feeling that caused it? The will to persevere…the _need_ to prove yourself in some way? It felt like if I gave up, I'd be giving up everything that I had worked for to get this far. I couldn't do that, no…I couldn't.

Kinak spoke in Na'vi, and I caught the words _stupid girl_ among the other snide words that I could only assume were insults. I snarled harshly, and his ear flickered back slightly, before his golden eyes narrowed, and he sank into an aggressive crouch. Lielu yelled to him.

"Kinak!"

Citra silenced her, and Kinak's gaze flickered at her briefly before turning to stare at me once more. I leapt at him, and yelled at him in English, not caring if he understood or not.

"_You're_ the one who's stupid, you bastard!"

Kinak's ears flattened against his skull, and his eyes narrowed until they were slits. His arm came up to collide with my chest, and I gulped for air as the wind was knocked out of me. I heard a strange noise coming from his throat, and I realized that he was hissing harshly, the sound so inhuman and frightening that I forgot to fight back for a moment.

He shoved me hard, and I fell to the ground. I stared up at him, and he grabbed my wrists again, preparing to throw me again. But I smirked, and pushed off against his chest, sending my foot into his face as hard as I could. He grunted in pain, and I rolled away as he seethed at me, his pupils becoming pinpricks of fury in his golden eyes.

I felt his hand around my arm, and I kicked at him again, only this time I couldn't push him away. I shuddered a bit when I realized how strong he was, how this entire battle had been a game for him until now. Now I had gotten him to the point where he was angry enough to use his full strength. Way to go, Sara.

Kinak's arms were like stone as he forced me to my knees, and I felt my arms being twisted behind my back painfully, no matter how I kicked and bit at his fingers. I felt my muscles vibrating in fear, fire flaring painfully in my shoulders if I tried to twist far enough to kick him. I hissed as I felt a cool stone knife against my throat, and a low voice spat, so close to my ear that I could feel the heat from his breath.

"I am stupid? Then why are you the one who is on the ground, defeated by a _stupid_ boy?"

I smirked. "So…she taught you English."

"Yes…she thought it would be beneficial. I think it is a rather pathetic language, used by those who are too weak to defend themselves. Sky People have powerful weapons, but their hearts are as weak as their spines…so easy to snap…" His breath was hot on my cheek, and I shivered in revulsion at the image that blinked before my eyes.

_A heavily armored soldier screaming as a tall Na'vi warrior picked him up and threw him against a tree, and a sickening snap filled the air as his spine snapped like a twig. He went limp, and the man never moved again as his body tumbled to the mossy forest floor. The Na'vi spit harshly in the direction of the body, and silently melted into the nearby brush, disappearing without a single sound. _

I felt anger rising in my chest as his fingers tightened mockingly, as if laughing at my weakness, and it seemed to clog my throat, making me unable to speak as he smirked above me, his golden eyes glowing in smug triumph. I didn't even register Citra's smirk of satisfaction, Lielu's nervous glance from me to Kinak, her long fingers gripping her bow in readiness. I hated being this vulnerable, but what I hated even more was not being able to do anything.

"If we're too weak to defend ourselves…why did you save _me_ then? How was I somehow different from the rest of them? Or was it just _convenient_ for you?" I hissed under my breath, and I felt Kinak's grip loosen slightly, his golden eyes shocked, and he seemed to see me for the first time.

I used his lapse in concentration to dive toward him, elbow first, slamming hard into his chest. He was sent flying backward, and I jumped on him, knocking the knife out of his hands so quickly that I didn't realize I had moved before I was straddling him, knees forcing his arms at his sides, the knife at his throat.

Oh, _hell _yes…I was pretty kick-ass. I know you all want to say it! I mean, I just totally _beat _one of the Na'vi men in combat – true, I was kinda beaten before, I used the element of surprise, and a whole lot of luck went into it – without having to use any weapons!

I grinned from my position above him, and he growled harshly, arching his back and scrambling to get free. I grunted as I struggled to keep him motionless, my legs trembling with the effort of keeping his strong arms on the ground. I hissed as he managed to lift his arms, throwing me off and into the dirt. Before I could react, he had sprung so he was in the same position I had been only a second before, only in this case, I couldn't throw him off so easily.

I felt my pulse racing as he stared down at me; his golden eyes dark and dangerous, and I closed my eyes, waiting for the worst. The air was cool against my sweat-soaked skin, and I heard the raspy intakes of air that passed through my lips that were wide in an attempt to take in as much air as possible. My arms were uselessly limp at my sides, and I felt the dagger tip touch the flesh underneath my chin. My blood was pumping so quickly that it created a humming sensation in my skin, the only sound I heard. The training area was completely silent. Not a single breeze disturbed the lush leaves, creating an eerie silence that seemed to become more suffocating with every breath I took.

I dared not open my eyes.

I knew that I'd see that same blood-crazed look that I had seen before in the videos, golden eyes flashing as the blood spurted from the screaming marine soldiers who were dead before the thought of running entered their thoughts.

But for some reason, my eyes opened, and I found myself staring into his eyes. I cringed, expecting the look that had haunted my nightmares for so long, and found that he wasn't moving.

I looked up at him, and he slowly moved the knife so that it was no longer touching my skin, his eyes never leaving mine. It wasn't a bloodthirsty stare, instead being merely calculating. None of the anger I had seen before. None of the snide smugness either.

Kinak leaned in to whisper, so softly that I had to strain to hear his words.

"I saved you…because I was under the impression that you were strong. Your eyes…they weren't weak, though your body was close to death. Those eyes wanted to live. I _thought_ that you were strong. Obviously, I was mistaken. A pity, really."

I forced the acid that churned in my throat back as I glared at him, and he silently released me, getting to his feet and walking over to retrieve his bow.

I growled as I caught the shocked eyes of Citra and Lielu, and got to my feet, glaring at Kinak's back as he continued to shoot at his target, not a mark on him, as pristine as if he had taken a stroll in the park. . I dusted myself, gingerly stretching my back where it had collided with the ground, feeling small pebbles fall away as I brushed my back off. There were small bruises forming on my arms, and I scowled as they throbbed.

I wonder, would I ever be able to come up with witty insults like that on the spot? Or was it a Na'vi thing?

I was pulled from my bitter grumbling by Citra's voice.

"Well Sara, you just found yourself a teacher. Let's get started. You'll start by sparring with Kinak again, only this time I'll help you with different tactics."

It took all of my self-control not to scream some very obscene words at her, and even _more_ self-control not to throttle the life out of Kinak when he turned to smirk at me with those smug eyes that made me want to kill someone.

And unfortunately, I couldn't kill Kinak, so I was left trying to keep a hold my sanity as Kinak leapt at me once more.

* * *

By the end of the day, I was wound so tightly that I swear to God that if anyone said _anything_ to me that was not the absolute _epitome_ of friendliness, I would snap and start screaming my head off.

Kinak had beaten me…again. Citra had slowed it down only slightly, preferring to bark orders at me while I struggled to follow what she was saying. Kinak was just too strong, and too fast, and too…oh...too much of a smug little bastard whose guts I hated at the present moment. And so he had continued to pummel me into the ground, time and time again.

Citra would bark orders for me to go again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

The sun was setting on the horizon when Citra finally told me that I could stop, and I was so grateful I almost cried. My body was so sore and weary that I felt that if I tried to run my muscles would turn into jelly, and I would fall, creating more pain as my bones collided with the rough ground.

I winced at the thought.

We were traveling as a group back to Hometree, me trailing behind Lielu as she chattered to one of the other girls, both of them glancing back at me with concern. I didn't have the energy to wonder what they were saying; it was already a bother to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.

The sky was blending into a dark swirl of blues and purples, and I dimly noticed the bright lights that lit up the leaves and other plants as the bioluminescence kicked in. I touched the bright mushroom thing to my right, and jumped back when it glowed under my touch, the glow lasting for a few seconds before fading into the everlasting glow.

What was wrong with me? Why was I so tired? It was beyond the usual tired…it was as if every cell in my body was slowing down, as if my mind was rejecting the feel of this new body, like it wasn't mine.

But it _was_ mine, in a way.

I was so unbelievably tired…was it my imagination, or was the tree in front of me slowly spinning in a brightly lit circle? I needed to lie down before I–

But suddenly, I was falling sideways, and everything was hazy as the sounds of my head hitting the ground, my eyes staring at the retreating figures of Lielu and her friend. They were turning, their golden eyes widening as they took in the sight of me.

Sound was muted to my ears, and I could only feel the vibrations of their feet hitting the hollow wood as they ran over. Citra was standing by the edge of the log, not coming close, her eyes cool and her lips turned up in a knowing smile that made me feel almost angry, in a way.

But that emotion was wiped away as I felt Lielu's hands touching my face, her mouth moving quickly, but I couldn't hear what she was asking.

_What are you saying? Why can't I hear anything? _

My eyes were closing, and everything began to melt away into nothingness. The lights grew more blurred, and my thoughts were sluggish and slow. Muffled shouts penetrated my serene cloud, but were swept away as my eyes closed completely.

I could've sworn that I felt strangely familiar arms scooping me up again, those strong arms, I felt myself melting into them, like I was slowly sinking into a pool of water, sinking to the bottom, only to find there wasn't one to fall to. Constantly floating, yet those arms were still around me.

Who…?

I never had a chance to finish that thought, because everything went black, as if someone had switched my mind off with a single push of a button. Not in the Avatar-human transfer kind of way, but as if something had snapped in my mind, like a rubber band pulled to the point where it had no other option but to snap in two.


	7. Tsahaylu

_Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _Tipani Clan Hometree

_Date:_ November 23, 2154

***

_Entry 6_

_ I'm still alive. Barely. _

_ Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit there. _

_ …_

_ All_ right_, I'm pretty much making it into a whole other story. I'm completely fine. I woke up in my hammock, with Lielu smiling above me as she passed me some food. I found out from her that I'd been out for the entire night and most of the morning, and that Citra was expecting me at the training field at noon. Which was in like, two hours. So I sent a message about what happened off to Max, and he had assured me (while, of course, asking how I was adjusting here with the Tipani, and when I would visit) that it was just that my mind was adjusting to being in my Avatar body for so long, and of course my body was drained, because I wasn't used to such hard training. He told me that after a week or two my body would get used to the constant exercise that I wasn't used to doing when I was a human, or even in my Avatar body. My Avatar was in pretty good shape, but I still had a bit of work to do before I was even close to the level that was required of a Na'vi warrior. _

_ That brought me to my next subject. Training to become a warrior. _

_ Citra._ _**(Priestess Riversong)** What an absolute _witch_. I mean, it was kind of refreshing to see someone who wasn't as mysterious and aloof as the rest of the Tipani tribe (even Lielu was still a mystery to me, though she was much more openly kind then the other women of the tribe) were, but even so, she still made me want to curl up in a ball when she opened that mouth of hers. _

_ Kinak. I have no idea how to calmly and rationally describe him, because every time his face enters my thoughts, my hands start shaking uncontrollably, fingers twitching, aching to throttle the life out of something. I've met some pretty nasty men in my stay here, but Kinak…_

_ And the funny thing was, he wasn't like, _evil_ like Colonel Quaritch and his men, but he had this smug feel to him that made me immediately dislike him. I hated people who thought they were so much better than anyone else; it was just so annoyingly common in most people at the RDA station (save for a few). _

_ I am currently covered from head to toe in dark purplish bruises that hurt, but are manageable if I don't actively think about them. Which is pretty hard, but I think I can do it. Maybe. Probably. _

_ I wonder if Norm's training is like this too, but somehow…I highly doubt it. He probably has a hot young Na'vi girl teaching him, and hey, who knows, maybe they'll fall in love and be like, soul mates or something!_

_ Oh yeah, I forgot, that's _Jake's_ story. Woops. But you get the idea. _

_ I'm still an outcast here, even though Lielu is my friend here, and I don't doubt that it'll take more than few weeks – even a few months – to earn the Tipani clan's true acceptance. I desperately wish that I could skip the warrior process all together, because I just wasn't the kind of person who likes fighting or killing things, but now that Kinak is part of the picture, I cant even think of backing out anymore. _

_ What's not to like about good ol' Kinak? I mean, _great_ personality, _amazing_ people-skills, and a gorgeous body (unfortunately, I cant truthfully be sarcastic about that last one…he _does_ have a pretty nice body, much nicer than any of the guys back at the RDA…). What more could you want? _

_ Ugh. As _if_. _

_ Anyway, I have to end it here, because I highly doubt that Citra miraculously decided to give me the day off, and I need to try to find the way to the training grounds without Lielu's help. _

_ It was only day two? _

_ Oh dear. _

_End of Entry 6_

* * *

I slowly eased the computer back into its padded case, and locked it shut. It was the only thing that I had left from the RDA station, which had been my home for the past six years, the only place I felt truly safe.

It was a bit sad, really.

I sighed, and yawned loudly, stretching my arms above my head. Whoever had put me into the hammock had placed me so my arms were beneath me, so they were extremely sore and stiff. I assumed that it was Lielu, and I didn't want to bother her about placing me the wrong way, seeing as she had already done so much just by carrying me all the way back rather than leaving me where I fell.

I reached up to grasp a branch, and gently stood up, leaping over to the large platform like structure that led to the stairs. I balanced on the branches as I slowly walked down the steps, wincing as my legs ached from yesterday's fight with Kinak.

The sun was already shining strongly through the canopy of leaves, and I stepped down onto the floor of the central area, sighing as I caught the scent of flowers and cooking food that saturated the air. I slowly walked down the path that led to the entrance. The people stared as they had before, but this time a few of them spoke to each other, their eyes still on me. I didn't look at them, and tried hard to ignore the whispers that followed me.

"_Uniltìranyu…"_

Dreamwalker.

_ "Faketuan."_

Alien, not Na'vi…an outsider.

"_Vrrtep."_

I quickened my pace, not daring to look behind me to see who had said that last one. It was one I had learned on my own, on one of those late nights, studying Dr. Augustine's book by flashlight as Max's snores were heard from above me. I remember squinting to read the word, and the definition next to it.

Demon.

It had seemed so harmless then, just a word. I didn't ever think I would be in the situation I was in now, so different from the Na'vi and yet so alike. In the past, it had been my opinion that the _Na'vi_ were the demons, monsters, incapable of feeling remorse.

I got outside, and quickly walked past the warriors who were staring at me with calm golden eyes. The morning was cool, and I was running before I realized it, away from the stares, away from the whispering voices that made my chest constrict painfully. My breath came fast and I forced the feelings back as I ducked under the large tropical leaves that hung from the weight of the morning dew that had collected overnight.

I didn't know exactly what I was feeling, but whatever it was, it was painful. Like an ache in my stomach that wouldn't go away no matter how hard I tried to focus elsewhere.

I looked down, and found that I was on the same thin trail that Lielu had led me down earlier. The earth was warm under my feet, and I started up a quick jog as I pushed aside brush and ducked under tree trunks. I heard a cry of glee, and looked up to see a figure falling towards me, and fast. I shrieked as Lielu tackled me playfully, sending us both tumbling into the middle of a low bush with those large tropical leaves.

I winced as the ground made cruel contact with my fresh bruises, and glared at Lielu, who was happily giggling away at the sight of me sprawled on the ground, defenseless.

"You no hear me?" She started laughing all over again. "I was loud, so very loud! How you not hear me?"

I scowled, and pushed her off. Instead of sending her flying, as I would've liked, she merely danced backward and leaned over me, grinning like a maniac.

I spat out a piece of leaf, grimacing at the bitter flavor, and got to my feet, brushing the dirt off my arms and legs. Lielu was oblivious to my pain as she led me silently through the forest, on the trail that I had been on before.

When we reached the drop into the undergrowth, Lielu jumped down as gracefully as yesterday, with her tail whipping around her as she lightly landed on a branch that dipped under her weight, and she leapt down to land almost cat-like on the forest floor. She beckoned for me to follow, and I, once again, lowered myself down on one of the vines. I would wait for the 'total ass-kicking by branch and landing in the ground' for a day when bruises _weren't_ decorating my body.

The forest was cool and clear as always, and I took deep breaths, trying to make the trip last as long as possible.

But, of course, in no time at all it seemed, we were entering the clearing where Citra and Kinak were waiting – the later looking extremely furious at being forced to associate with me. Oh, don't worry buddy. The feeling's mutual.

Citra looked me up and down, her large gold eyes drifting over the deeply colored bruises with pursed lips. She glanced at Kinak for a moment, but didn't comment, and she turned her gaze back to me.

"Let's begin. Lielu will be your teacher in the way of the bow along with riding a _pa'li_, or a direhorse, as you call them. Kinak will further your education in the language of the Na'vi and the ways of the forest, as Lielu has other tasks concerning the other trainee warriors."

I opened my mouth to protest – I saw that Kinak had stiffened out of the corner of my eye – but Citra held up a hand for silence, her eyes cold shards of ice.

"You _will_ follow my orders, even if they are disagreeable." Her eyes flickered at Kinak again, whose jaw tightened. Her eyes flickered back to me. "_You_ don't have any say in this matter, for you are not born of the Na'vi, and have no status among my people."

I fell silent, but inside I was fuming. Kinak…my _teacher_? This was outrageously unfair, why couldn't Lielu teach me, even _Citra_ would be better than Kinak!

Citra barked something in the language of the Na'vi at Lielu, who nodded and smiled at me reassuringly. I managed a weak grimace back at her, and Lielu and I watched Kinak march away into the brush. Lielu cleared her throat.

"We start with bow."

* * *

After a few hours of Lielu laughing at my pathetic attempts to shoot an arrow accurately, we moved on to riding the direhorses. I remembered how immense they had been, but now as I looked at them, slurping nectar harmlessly from the flowers, they instead reminded me of oversized honeybees.

They were deep purplish blue, with large antenna like structures sprouting from just behind their skulls. Their six muscular legs worked in perfect harmony as they drifted toward their nectar filled flowers, and Lielu led me to one of the nearest ones. I gulped, and reached back to finger my thick braid nervously. I had heard from Dr. Grace Augustine how this whole "bond" thing worked, and was a little freaked out by it. It was literally connecting my brain with a horse. How _weird_ is that?

Lielu gave me a leg up, and I sat stiffly on the direhorse's back, gripping tightly with my knees. It was strong and thick, and it pranced under me until Lielu calmed it down with a few strokes of her hand.

"Tsahaylu, Sara." Lielu said quietly, and it took me a moment to remember that that was their word for the thick braid at the back of my head, and I shakily pulled my braid forward to one of the stiff antenna of the direhorse. The strands of one of my braid reached out to meld with the floating ones of the direhorse, and I gasped as the connection was made.

Jake had described it so many times on his video logs, but words weren't enough to describe the feeling the bond created.

It was completely alien, and I had to resist the urge to break the connection and make a break for it.

I could feel every movement of the direhorse beneath me still, but now I could see _why_ the direhorse shifted, and its thoughts as it pondered the strange presence that was now in its mind. It wasn't one of the usual blue-skins that usually rode it, and its first instinct was to displace this new and unfamiliar entity, but years of taming kept it from doing so. I made no attempt to communicate anything with it, because I was afraid, so afraid that I could barely sit straight.

Lielu patted the direhorse's sides, a soothing stream of the Na'vi language coming from her as I got accustomed to my position.

"Now, direct her, inside." Lielu tapped the side of her head, and I nodded shakily.

_Walk._

Nothing happened.

"I said to walk, but nothing happened!" I said angrily, crossing my arms.

Lielu smiled at my expression. "Imagine him moving. Words do not make sense to him. You must…_feel_ the command, inside. Again."

I frowned, and closed my eyes. I tried hard to imagine the giant horse-like creature walking forward, opening my eyes to stare at a small spot in front of us, at least ten feet.

I gasped in surprise as the direhorse tentatively began moving, as slowly as I had imagined, towards that spot. Lielu crowed happily, and I jumped violently, my thoughts expressing my alarm. The direhorse felt my split second of surprise, and sort of…sidestepped to the side, away from Lielu, the source of the apprehension. I was sent sliding down his side, and only kept my hold by gripping around his thick neck, which caused him to jump again before settling down. I hissed at Lielu, who giggled and pushed me back into position.

"Sorry…" She whispered, and I whipped my tail at her. Lielu laughed, and danced out of the way.

My tail was like an extension of my arm, but only in this case, it was much more unconsciously commanded. It felt _freaky_ to feel my tail moving without careful thought on my part.

"Again." She ordered, and I nodded.

It worked better the second time; I was more relaxed and was able to take the direhorse in a full circle around the paddock without falling off. Score. Of course, this was all at a walk. Lielu tried to get me to go at a faster pace, but I was firm. I would take this at my own pace, that much was certain.

I could see what would be fun about going at a faster pace, though.

Being able to feel the direhorse opened up a whole new level of emotion and excitement, having the direhorse's senses and feelings as it ran. It would be exhilarating, but I wasn't ready for that yet. I was still trying to get used to having a tail and pointed ears, and the fact that I was now nine and a half feet tall.

I was glad to finally dismount, though it felt weird for a moment to be so…alone in my mind. But then I silently contemplated my sanity. This place was screwing with my mind…I mean, why would I be _sad_ about being the only one in my mind?

Lielu glanced at the sun, and sighed in disappointment.

"Time for you to train with…"

I cringed as Kinak appeared quite literally out of nowhere. I had almost _forgotten_ about him, and it was a shame that I couldn't continue that little goal of mine. Drat.

"You just cant stay away, can you?" I drawled, crossing my arms, and Lielu glanced at me in warning. I brushed her off, and Kinak coolly ignored my jibe, instead striding over to grab my upper arm harshly and yanked me around so violently that I almost tripped over my own feet. I waved to Lielu, trying to keep the terror off my face.

I would have to be alone with Kinak for who knows how long.

Great. Fabulous. How can life get any better?

I looked at the stiff shoulders of Kinak as he dragged me farther into the forest, and couldn't help admiring the way his shoulder muscles rippled under his lightly stripped skin.

It surprised me when Kinak suddenly spoke.

"You are pathetic. I hope you understand that, so we are on clear terms."

I snarled angrily, and tried to yank my arm out of his grasp, but he only gripped harder, which hurt, so I gave up.

"Okay, well, _you_ are a complete ass. I hope _you _get that through your thick skull, buster, just so we're on clear terms. Wouldn't want us to be _civil_ to each other or anything." I shuddered. "Oh, the horror of being civil…"

Kinak didn't reply, but I felt his grip tighten even more. How was that possible?! He was practically cutting off my circulation!

Did he care?

Of _course_ not.


	8. My Little Star

here's the next chapter! hope you guys like it, and please please review!

oh, and i was a bit unsure of how this chapter went, so here's the question(s): Should I have made this chapter more detailed, or was it fine the way it was? Is the ending...okay? the new addition? PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

* * *

I yelped as Kinak pushed me forward so I was in front of him, and he seemed even angrier than before.

Oh dear.

He spoke harshly, curtly, as if his words were wasted on me. "Find the trail."

I frowned. "Excuse me?"

"Find. The. _Trail_."

"Oh, the _trail_…aren't you supposed to teach me that?"

Kinak growled, muttering darkly under his breath as he marched past me once more, this time not grabbing onto my arm. I saw how tense he was, and wondered if he had any idea what he was doing. It reminded me of Jake trying to explain how a gun worked to me a few months ago.

Jake's the most confident guy I've ever met, but when he tried to teach me how to use that gun, he stuttered and jumbled around like no one's business. He later confided in me that he had been terrified of teaching something to others, he'd never had to do it before.

I followed Kinak silently, and I had to almost run to keep up with his long strides.

"Where're we going?" I asked quietly, afraid that using a louder tone would make him even angrier.

He didn't answer me, and I sighed, watching as he leaped up to run along a twisting and twining branch that circled upward into the higher branches. It was like a staircase, and I gulped as I saw that it went high up into the tree. His tail was stretched out behind him as a balance when the branch got thin, and his long braid hung down his back as he ran. I dimly noticed that his hair wasn't shaved on the sides like most of the warriors. It must be a coming of age thing, I guess.

I tried to mimic his graceful jump, and was pleasantly surprised when my body just seemed to _know_ how to adjust, my legs bending automatically to get my footing and my hands gripping the nearest vine. I ran up the mossy branch, which was strangely coarse and gripping under my feet, not slippery and soft like I had expected it to be.

The sunlight beat down strongly on us as we ran, and I let the warmth seep through my skin, strengthening me. It reminded me of those drowsy warm afternoons I sometimes took off at the Station, sipping ice-cold water, joking with Max, or playing cards with Norm. All of sitting together, smiling at each other for no apparent reason.

I missed Dr. Augustine terribly, but I somehow missed Norm, Max, and Jake even more. They were my best friends, and it made me so sad that I wouldn't be able to see them until…I don't even know when.

Would it be years before I saw them again?

I looked up, and searched for Kinak in the branches.

Kinak was gone.

Oh, this is just _great_. He's been my teacher for all of five minutes and he's already decided that it's too much to handle. That coward.

I slowed to a stop, and turned in a full circle, my fists curling into tight fists when Kinak was still nowhere to be found. Son of a…

Something hot was filling my eyes, blurring my vision, but I blinked rapidly and the feeling went away.

I braced my feet and screamed. "You _bastard_!"

I was met with calm silence that made me even angrier.

How could he? I mean, I knew that he didn't like me, but enough to leave me stranded in the middle of the forest with no idea how to get back? That was beyond cruel, it was just…_evil_!

"What did I ever do to _you_, anyway?" I muttered, to no one in particular, and decided to keep on walking upward. I slowly ran my hands along the bark, feeling the warm wood under my fingers.

Anger still pounded in my chest, and I huffed a great sigh as I slowly leaned my back against the trunk, sliding down slowly, ignoring the fact that my back was getting scratched against the rough bark. I sat with my knees slightly bent towards my chest, and stared up at the light that streamed through the thick canopy.

I shivered, which was weird because it was hot outside, the sun beating on my exposed arms and legs. I closed my eyes, and leaned my head against the bark.

Why was this new life so hard?

There was a soft whisper to the air, and I quickly opened my eyes.

There was a small creature that had long tendrils that were like those of a jellyfish, floating gently in the air in front of me. It was a soft pink color, and it radiated serenity. I smiled, and reached out my hand.

"You're only a jellyfish, but its still nice to know that _someone_ likes me enough to try and find me."

It drifted so it was perched soothingly on my palm, and I stared at it with a small smile.

It was so beautiful, and I remember dancing with a group of them back at the Station. It had been so exhilarating, so soothing, like I was in a dream. These creatures seemed to be more than just animals; they seemed to have a mind of their own.

The creature was glowing brightly, and the light seemed to expand as it slowly drifted forward, closer and closer, the glow filling up my vision.

I felt its small feelers on my forehead, and everything melted into a soft, warm blur.

I don't know when I lost consciousness, but suddenly–

–_I was running, so fast that the forest around me was a blur. I moved confidently, jumping down to one of the lower roots without hesitation, swinging down on a vine before landing with my legs outstretched to balance myself. I felt powerful, and graceful, for what did I have to be afraid of? Myself? _

_What nonsense. _

_I ran down a lush walkway that was faintly defined in the dirt, and the night sky above me glittered with thousands of stars, blinking and winking down on me as I ran. The cool air nipped against my bare skin, and I heard my loincloth flapping behind me as I ducked under a branch. _

_The forest was aglow with bioluminescence that exuded from the plants, and I danced through the grass, seeing the moss under my feet glow when my skin touched its soft surface. _

_I felt my heart pound as a large tree came in sight. _

_Its glowing pink strands were flowing gently in the breeze, and there was a lake that surrounded it. The water, although there was wind around the area, was as smooth as glass, not even a ripple appearing on its surface. _

_I didn't hesitate before stepping onto the water. _

_ My foot didn't sink into the water, instead staying above the surface, which felt like a thick sheet of glass. I walked slowly across the lake, the tree glowing more brightly as I approached. _

_ I stepped onto the shore, feeling the soft and gentle grass between my toes, and stared up at the glowing strands. _

_ I heard a noise, and looked over to see someone kneeling at the base of the tree, their back to me. It was obviously a male; his strong shoulders strong and proud, his arms graceful and muscular. I felt my already pounding heart pick up the pace, and I found myself walking over to where he knelt. _

_I don't know how I knew, but I knew who he was. I couldn't see his face, couldn't come up with a name, but something in my heart told me that I _knew_ him. _

_ He looked up, and his golden eyes stared at me for a split second. I knew those eyes. Lips turning up in a loving smile, his hands reaching up to touch my face so tenderly…so softly…_

_ But before I could say his name, before I could even see who it was, everything blurred once more, and–_

–I awoke to complete darkness.

I gasped, and nearly fell off the branch, and lay on my side, my chest heaving, my breath coming fast.

The creature was nowhere in sight, and yet I felt its presence still in my mind. What _was_ that?!

What had it meant? Was I just dreaming up rubbish? Was I going crazy?

I shivered, and found that the air was quite cold. My knees felt like rubber, and when I tried to stand up I crumpled helplessly. I growled at myself, and forced myself to my feet.

I had to be strong, even if I was slowly going crazy and having messed up dreams involving…that's the creepy part, I don't even know who it involved!

But then…how had I _known _him if I didn't even know his name?

I made my way down the tree, the plants glowing and glittering around me like fireflies, reminding me of my dream. The sky was dark, no sign of stars to be found in the reaches of the heavens above my head, and I reached the bottom with a sigh.

How was I supposed to find my way back?

I hissed in frustration, and kicked a rock violently into the brush.

"God dammit!"

The rock hit something solidly, and I was about to turn when I heard a low growl come from that exact spot in the brush. I froze, and a large dark shape arose from the growth, its eyes glimmering dangerously in the light from the plants. Its large, white teeth glittered, and I saw the spines that surrounded its immense head raise as it snarled.

I gulped, slowly moving backward.

Oh shit.

The creature rose even higher, and I realized what it was.

It was a full-grown thanator, and I had just pissed it off.

Oh _shit_!

I turned and started running, knowing that if I stayed there for one more second that I could be dead. Either I run, or get slashed to pieces and eaten (possibly while I was still alive) by the thanator that was nearly twenty feet in length.

Was this a reason to panic? I think so.

I heard the terrifying roars of the thanator close behind me, and ran even faster. I pushed aside brush and climbed over logs, but the creature broke the thick wood as if it was a toothpick, its teeth inches from my tail. I leaped up to crawl upward, away from those teeth, only to find that the thanator was indeed a climber, and easily followed me. I felt my heart racing in my chest, and felt my legs pumping furiously, refusing to let even the thought of stopping enter my head.

I glanced around, and saw that there was a vine hanging near the tree, and quickly jumped for it, propelling myself by pushing off with my feet, swinging around the width of the tree, hearing the frustrated roars of the thanator who was suddenly left with nothing but air.

I was still swinging around, and I felt my grip slipping. I gasped as the thanator's hungry eyes flickered up towards me, and it leaped, fangs bared. I couldn't move, and closed my eyes.

There was a yell, and I felt a warm hand grab my arm and pull me downward. I screamed, and I heard the taut snap of a bow, and a strangled yowl filled the air for a moment.

And then there was silence.

I opened my eyes to see Kinak standing over the motionless thanator, whose chest was pierced with a long arrow, bright red blood seeping onto its black skin.

I sank to my knees, and saw that my body was shaking violently. Kinak strapped his bow to his back, and turned to stare down at me. There was no emotion in those golden eyes, and I quickly looked away.

"You're an idiot."

I laughed shakily, and gripped my fingers together in a fist.

"I suppose you're right." I didn't thank him; after all, it was _his_ fault that I was in that situation to begin with, so…

I slowly made my way over to the dead creature, and touched its shoulder, feeling the still warm skin under my fingers. I saw something else, something that made me gasp.

This thanator was a mother, a mother that was currently nursing a cub.

I stood hurriedly, and ran back the way I had come. Kinak followed me, hissing.

"What are you doing?!"

"Finding her baby." I hissed back, fear forgotten as I searched, my hands blinding feeling under logs and bushes. I had gotten the baby's mother killed, I had to find it, I had to do something. I couldn't leave it all alone.

"_What?_" Kinak's eyes widened, and he yanked on my arm. "Those killers are not allowed in Hometree!"

I whirled around. "It's a _baby_! I can teach it to not hunt people, I can train it!"

"It will always be a killer."

I hissed, my ears flat against my skull. "I could say the same thing about the Na'vi. You hunt for your food; you kill innocent grazers for your own uses. And yet you don't see yourselves as killers?"

"It is not the same!" Kinak growled, and I yanked my arm out of his grasp angrily, his fingers loosening to allow me to step away from him.

"On the contrary, it's _exactly _the same! That thanator you killed, it was just hunting for its food, just like any other predator. Would you leave an innocent Na'vi baby to die in the forest if the mother was killed while trying to get food for it? I know you wouldn't, and neither will I!" I pushed his hand away, and marched away from him. I heard him following me, and it was in that moment where I heard a tiny mewl from within the roots of a nearby tree. It was pitifully weak, and I quickly knelt next to the large web like roots. I peered inside, and saw a tiny thanator baby curled up in the grass, whimpering at the scent of my approach. It bared its tiny fangs and rose to its short, slender legs that were not yet developed into the muscular legs of a hunter, pressing its plump sides to the back of the small, cave-like enclosure of roots. Its eyes were barely open; it couldn't be more than three weeks old.

"Hey, little guy…you're all alone, aren't you?" I whispered, and I saw the tiny spines perk up slightly at the sound of my voice, and it was curious enough to take a step forward.

"It's female." Kinak growled, his hand twitching toward his knife. I didn't look at him, and reached forward toward the cub. It flinched, and I let my hand rest a few feet away.

"It's alright, I wont hurt you. Come on out, I'm going to take care of you."

Her tiny spines perked again, and she took careful, slow steps forward. I smiled, and waited until she was an inch away to slowly touch her shoulder, soothingly patting her head. The baby sniffed my hand, and crowed again, and I realized that it was searching for food.

"I don't have anything right now, baby, but I can get you some. C'mere." I said softly, and slowly lifted it out of the roots. It squeaked and protested, but I pet its head gently. It seemed to accept my presence after a few moments, and nuzzled towards the warmth of my body. I felt my heart beat almost painfully at the adorable sight, and cuddled it close to my chest. I was like this with anything small and helpless, I loved it at first sight. This baby was _mine_.

Kinak hissed as I walked past him, and he quickly intercepted me.

"You will never convince the tribe to accept it. They will throw it out!"

I glared at him. "No, they wont. I'll train her; I'll make sure she doesn't hurt anyone! If she does…" I stared down at the quietly breathing baby in my arms. "…then I'll kill her myself."

Kinak growled again, and turned on his heel, leaving me to follow him through the brush. I smiled, and gently stroked the baby's head, my heart melting when it crooned.

I looked up at the sky, and saw a single star lighting up the sky, the first one I had seen tonight. I grinned, and stared down at the thanator baby again.

_I know exactly what I'm going to name you. _

"I'm going to take care of you now…my little Tanhì."

_My little star. _


	9. What The Hell?

Here's the next chapter! It was a pretty quick update, no? Hope you guys like it?

I feel REALLY iffy about this chapter, i might even re-write it...im still not sure.

So please answer this: Was this chapter too rushed? Was it too awkward character-wise/plot-wise? I really need some feedback, so if you could let me know that'd be GREAT!

Thanks!

I'm hoping that it's just my paranoia that's making me really wiggy about this chapter, but i want to be sure.

:D

_

* * *

Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _Tipani Clan Hometree

_Date:_ December 21, 2154

***

_Entry 7_

_I haven't written in so long…what has it been, a month? So much has been going on, and I haven't had the incentive to write in this thing for a while. But now I'm back on track – for the moment at least. _

_ Let me go back to the night I came into the Tipani clan Hometree with a baby thanator in my arms. _

_ As Kinak predicted, everyone had flipped out. Sänume had almost killed it on sight, and probably would've killed me as well if Lielu hadn't stepped in between us. _

_ "What is this, Sara?" She shrieked, her red face paint glistening menacingly in the firelight. I remember swallowing hard, and cradling the shivering baby closer to my chest. Tanhì was the size of my forearm, and her little claws dug into my arm as she shook in fear. The loud noises frightened her, and her little cries filled the air along with the yells of confusion from the Tipani clan. _

_ Sänume, after a moment, yelled for silence, and faced me with a face of such sudden calm that I almost wished that she was still yelling. _

_"Sara, explain." _

_ I quickly did as she asked, describing my close call with the mother thanator and how Kinak had saved me. I don't know why, but I left out the fact that Kinak had left me all alone, instead making it seem like I was the one at fault. Don't ask me why, because I have no idea why I covered his sorry ass. Maybe I'll think about it later, if I remember. _

_ Sänume didn't speak for a long time, and I heard Kinak's almost silent breaths behind me. Lielu had moved so she was standing by my side, but I saw that she was putting a lot of space between her and the baby cub in my arms. _

_ They were _scared _of the baby in my arms. _

_ Sänume moved forward to examine the cub, watching its tiny spines rise in warning, its amber eyes widening in fear, and the Tipani leader's golden eyes narrowed. She stood straight, her chin jutting out defiantly, and I knew that she was going to make me throw out my Tanhì, my _baby_. _

_ I stepped forward, and quickly spoke. "Wait, please!" _

_ She paused, and her golden eyes stared unblinkingly at me. She turned towards me from her position on the stage-like slab of stone that served as a raised platform with which to address the people within Hometree, waiting. I looked around at the silence, and then down at the thanator cub that was looking up at me, its head cocked in curiosity at the vibrations my chest made when I spoke. _

_ I hesitated, but after a moment jumped up to stand beside Sänume on the speaking-stone. _

_ I knew that it was untraditional to address the people like this – almost disrespectful, for it was without the permission of the leader. But I hoped that their assumption that I was horribly ignorant of their customs would save me from rebuke, and turned to the silent mass of Tipani, and spoke as loudly as I dared. _

_ I also spoke in the language of the Na'vi, and although I knew that I made plenty of errors, I believe that they understood the gist of what I said. _

_ "People of Eywa, of the Tipani Clan, I know that I am an outsider here, and that my words have little value among you_._" There was a murmur of agreement, and I almost lost my nerve. But I looked down at my Tanhì again, and her innocent croon gave me strength. I straightened. "But please, give me a chance to speak." _

_ I looked over at Sänume, who gave me a curt nod, her golden eyes wary. _

_ "In my past home, the land of the Sky People," Some of the warriors hissed, Kinak being one of them. "we have learned to…train…creatures of Eywa. They are our companions, our friends, like the bond you all make with the ikran, or even the pa'li." _

_ A voice spoke out angrily, and Sänume, who was listening intently, whispered the full translation. _

_ "Even if those weaklings did as you say, this _killer_ is not ikran or pa'li! It is a palulukan! It will grow up to kill and devour our children! How can you be defending it?" _

_ I smiled slightly, and pet Tanhì gently. "There is much reason behind your concern, but in the ways of the Sky People, they have trained many creatures that are just as dangerous as the palulukan. The trick is to begin their training at a young age, and then a bond is formed that is everlasting, like the rider and the ikran. They will obey their master's orders. I will train this cub to help the Tipani, and to obey my orders so that it doesn't harm anyone!" _

_ I remember looking around, and then placed Tanhì on the ground, and she whimpered, looking small and pitiful on the ground at my feet. _

_ "This is just a baby! How can it hurt anyone?" _

_ There was silence, and I knelt to pick up Tanhì once more. "Please, my brothers and sisters, please consider what I have said, and look into your hearts. Please allow me to raise this palulukan." _

_ Sänume stepped forward slowly. "And if this creature harms anyone?" _

_ I raised my head, and stared at the leader with as much confidence as possible. _

_ I was about to speak when Kinak's voice was heard, and I saw out of the corner of my eye that he was stepping up onto the stone. _

_ "She will kill the palulukan herself." _

_ I stared at Kinak with wide eyes, and closed my gaping mouth. _

_ Had Kinak just…stood up for me? No, it wasn't possible, I was imagining that protective look in his eye as he stared at me, I was imagining it…_

_ Sänume looked surprised at Kinak's intervention, but looked over at the cub in my arms once more, and then walked past me to stare out at her people. _

_ "The palulukan will stay, and anyone who harms it will have me to answer to! It is to remain in the possession of Sara, and that is all I have to say about the matter." _

_ I remember turning to thank Kinak after the crowd dispersed to go to sleep, only to find him gone. _

_ All in all, Tanhì got to stay, and she was growing to be a bundle of both frustration and joy. In the three weeks that had passed since then, she had finally gotten over her shyness around people, and followed me around wherever I went. _

_ Training her is difficult, but it's also a lot a fun. I still have my training, which is going much better than before, but I'm still working on a lot. Lielu and I have grown even closer, and as my language skills improve I find that she and I have more in common than I thought._

_Kinak is still Kinak, but I'm not really surprised. I never found out why he spoke in my defense that night, but there were some things that I'd probably never know abut Kina. That was just fine with me. _

_ I'm going to end it here, because I have to make Tanhì's morning meal, as she's giving me her growl that means that she's going to start gnawing on the vines that made up my bed if I don't get her some food. _

_ dddsrewxzvds – sorry, that's Tanhì; she just crawled into my lap and stepped on the keyboard. I'm going to leave it in there to remind me of how dang adorable she is. _

_End of Entry 7_

* * *

I quickly lifted Tanhì's heavy form off of the keyboard, and clicked it shut, slipping the laptop into the thick padded case. Tanhì squealed and whined, her tiny fangs showing as she pranced around. The hammock sank slightly under her weight, but didn't break. I laughed, and nuzzled her close. Tanhì loved this position, and always put her head in the crook of my elbow; it was the place she felt most secure.

I heard Lielu approaching behind me, and turned to smile at her. Lielu grinned back, and swung so she was sitting in the hammock directly beside mine.

"Are you two ready?" My friend asked, as Tanhì greeted her happily by jumping from my lap into hers, cuddling against her stomach with a purr. Lielu had been the first to get over her fear of the thanator cub, and Lielu hadn't been able to resist Tanhì's charm for long.

I nodded, and Tanhì, who seemed to sense that I was leaving, jumped back into my open arms, crooning for food.

"I know you're hungry, sweetie, let's go." I said with a smile, and Lielu smiled as well.

I let Tanhì down on the branch, and she bounced down the length of the branch and scrambled down the wooden stairs.

Lielu and I followed at a slower pace, and Lielu sighed.

"Tanhì is full size in half a year. But life span is…long. Like Na'vi life, a little less. Palulukan don't mate very…_often_, is that the word?" I nodded. "Only find one mate every lifetime, and only able to have two children in lifetime. So there is no palulukan…overpopulation."

My eyes widened at Lielu's words, and I stared at the tiny cub that was patiently waiting for us at the bottom, her bright eyes glowing in the light of the dawn. Her tail waved behind her, and her shiny black skin glistened. She was the size of a large dog after two weeks of living here, and she was still growing at a rapid rate. I couldn't imagine my baby being nearly twenty feet in length…larger than a direhorse…larger than I was. I just couldn't imagine it.

We reached the bottom, and Tanhì rubbed herself against my legs, and her sharp spines lifted up as she yawned, stretching her legs out with her behind high in the air. Her little purple tongue stretched out past her rows of teeth, and her amber eyes closed slowly, crinkling adorably. Lielu cooed, and couldn't resist the temptation to hug the baby thanator close for a moment.

Like I said before, no one could resist her charm for very long.

I set off, chatting with Lielu as we walked toward the entrance. I had learned to ignore the stares and whispers, but Tanhì was less inclined to do so. She felt the hostility in the air, and she would growl uncomfortably, staying close to my side

I knew that Tanhì would never hurt anyone. Because she had grown up around people, people were her kin. I had made sure to instill that message early on.

I followed Lielu through the brush as we ran towards the training grounds, and I felt a glow of pride at how easily Tanhì kept up with us. She was quickly transforming from a helpless infant to a powerful thanator that could take care of itself. But even so, she was still my baby, my little star.

I came to that spot where I never jumped, and, as always, I slid down while Lielu leaped down with ease, and Tanhì followed her down a web of roots, jumping efficiently to each one. When she was full-grown that twenty-foot drop would be nothing, a slight diversion that was easily batted aside.

The forest was alive and lush as always, though it was colder than usual. Lielu told me that it would get considerably colder as winter came closer, and prey would be scarcer as animals stayed in their shelters for longer hours of the day. The rainy season would also bring the risk of flooding – there was no possibility of snow on Pandora – and the clan had to prepare if they were going to prevail against the winter.

Citra was nowhere to be found – probably working in the forest with another trainee, and Kinak was coolly ignoring us, his back facing away from me, something long and thin in his hands, weighted on the end with a small stone.

"It is used during the iknimaya, or rite of passage." Lielu explained, and I nodded. Dr. Grace Augustine had called it a _meresh'ti cau'pla_, which literally meant _nothing to see_. It was used as a bola to subdue the mountain banshee in order to make the bond, and it took a great amount of skill to use it successfully during the rite of passage.

I had almost forgotten that Kinak was training to become a warrior, just like I was.

Tanhì squealed at the sight of Kinak, and raced over to pounce on his legs playfully. I growled as he slowly looked down at her, and knelt to gently pry her paws from his legs.

There was one lesson that unfortunately wouldn't stick with Tanhì. The lesson of avoiding Kinak at all costs. Instead, the opposite seemed to happen. Tanhì was so _interested_ in him, like he was a new toy that she was continuously fascinated with and wouldn't stop associating herself with. It was so annoying!

Kinak was the only one in our little triangle of people Tanhì associated with that wouldn't pet or talk to her, though I saw that he was extremely patient and gentle with her.

You think _you're _surprised? You have no idea…

I quickly walked over to where Tanhì was prancing back and forth in front of Kinak, and nudged her away with my foot. Kinak didn't speak to me, and I ignored him as well. I turned away and led Tanhì back to where Lielu was waiting with a bow in hand.

"Let's go." She said, and handed me the bow. I nodded, and was about to start when I realized that Kinak was standing right behind me. I glanced back, and he quickly spoke.

"Lielu is to hunt for the palulukan today."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Lielu put her hand on my arm.

"It's alright, we'll be fine."

Tanhì growled happily, and gave me a purr as she nuzzled my legs for a moment before disappearing into the trees with Lielu. I sighed, resisting the urge to hang my head. I was actually getting pretty good at hunting, and I wanted a chance to show it. Now all I got to do was get criticized by Kinak.

Sigh…

I heard Kinak shift his weight behind me, and glanced back. He was handing me a strap that was similar to his, only a bit longer. I took it, and looked up to see that he was still staring at me. I put a hand on my hip.

"Yeah?"

"You must learn how to use this weapon, because the iknimaya will be taking place very soon…you have maybe a month left to master these skills. Sänume tried to lengthen the time, but Citra said that the rest of us have waited too long already, and that it would give you incentive to work harder."

Only a month?! What the hell? Even _Jake_ had more time to learn before going through with the iknimaya!

Kinak slowly walked over to the large posts that were set so they were vertical to the ground. I frowned, forcing back my panic for a later time. What an odd way to place them…was there a reason for it, or was it some kind of mistake?

I looked at the weapon in my hand, and was surprised to see that it was not made of leather, instead of a thick frond that had ridges and was a dark green color. The edges were blunted, and I saw that one side was sticky. What the heck?

I was about to ask when Kinak suddenly whipped his hand around, and I saw a blur of green before the thick bola like frond was suddenly wrapped tightly around the wood. It all seemed to click as I saw the carvings on the wood that represented the head of a mountain banshee.

Oh.

It was used to tie the banshee's mouth closed so it wouldn't bite your head off while you made the bond. Clever. But it was _so_ obvious that I was a bit embarrassed that I hadn't figured it out sooner.

Kinak looked over at me, and I bit my lip, trying to mimic his rapid spinning of the bola, trying to jerk my arm at an angle to wrap it around the thick log so the jaw would be forced shut.

Of course, this is _me_ we're talking about, so it's not surprising that I somehow managed to wrap the bola around my own leg, as far as possible from the actual target.

I felt heat rushing to my face at the smirk that crossed Kinak's lips as he watched me tug the bola – which was surprisingly sticky, more so than I had imagined – from my leg.

"You need to imagine the ikran jumping towards you, and position it so you almost meet the ikran with the meresh'ti cau'pla, so that if you miss, you have time to duck."

I nodded at his curt instructions, and tried to imagine the woodenhead opening its jaws, and jerked my hand to get the bola spinning rapidly. I felt the weight of the stone, and swung it towards the upper half of the log, feeling a bitter heaviness settle in my chest as it bounced off harmlessly. Cue the insults from a certain Na'vi guy who–

"You need to be less tense. Let it flow. Here, try it on me instead. Imagine that my arms are the jaws, and aim for the top jaw first, to close it on the other."

I gaped.

It was the first time that I had messed up and not had Kinak scolding me until my ears ached. He seemed calmer, and I scowled at him.

"What's with you? No insults, no nasty looks…its creeping me out…" I said with a raised eyebrow. Kinak shrugged.

"You're improving, there's less to insult you about."

I laughed. "Wait, are you actually giving me…a _compliment_?"

Kinak looked slightly embarrassed, and scowled darkly. I smiled at his embarrassment, and he held out his arms.

"Go." He ordered, and I swung the bola again, focusing on his arms. The top managed to wrap around his arm, but the other swung uselessly past his other arm, and he kept going until his hands were inches from my neck.

"You would be dead right now."

I was about to say something, but I realized how close he was. His arms were almost embracing me, and his chest was almost touching mine. I looked upward slightly to meet his eyes. His chest was rising and falling with his breathing, and his arms were motionless, like a statue. I tried to swallow, only to find that my throat was tight, and swallowing was almost painful.

He was still staring at me, searching my face with an expression I can't really define. It was an expression that I had never seen before. His lips were slightly parted, and I found myself looking down to escape his piercing eyes that made my heart race.

Kinak blinked, and stepped away with jerky movements, his eyes confused.

He slowly walked away, ignoring my yells, and leaped onto the nearest direhorse, galloping away so quickly that he was gone in the next second.

I was left standing there with my heart still racing.

What. The. Hell. Was. _That_?

I shook my head, and faced the posts again, swinging the bola furiously.

But no matter how hard I focused; I couldn't get the memory of Kinak's expression out of my head.

It was the look that I had often seen in Norm's eyes when I hugged him, the look that he had given me when we had said our goodbyes that day.

I closed my eyes, and couldn't help remembering the feeling that tingled in my arms as I felt his body heat almost radiating from him, the warm scent of his skin.

My eyes snapped open.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Was I actually…_attracted_ to Kinak?

No, I couldn't be, he was an asshole!

I laughed at my foolishness, and focused on the bola once more. I'm such an idiot, getting all freaky about Kinak _looking_ at me…he was probably thinking about how retarded I was in attempting to use the bola thingy.

Yeah…that was it.

It had to be it.

What else _could_ it be?


	10. Laughter and Flowers

Here's the next chapter! I'm like, en fuego about updating this story lately, but i dont know how long this quick update will last...

i hope that you guys like it, and as always, please tell me if you find anything weird or just plain BAD about this chapter!

thanks!

:D

* * *

After an hour or so of training, I was interrupted by a certain thanator cub tackling my legs, effectively making me trip over my own feet and fall to the ground. Tanhì growled playfully, pouncing on me, her sharp little claws piercing my skin. I hissed in pain, and quickly scolded her.

"Ouch, Tanhì, that hurts! _Stop_!" I said sharply, making a harsh gesture with my hand, across my chest in a slashing movement. I had taught her the command and hand signal over the past week, and it was only yesterday that she began to catch on. Tanhì immediately backed away, and she crouched at my feet, her amber eyes staring at me in apology. I smiled, and Lielu crowed.

"She learns very quickly!"

I smiled, and lowered my hand, reaching out to fondle her chin and kiss her forehead. "Yes she does…"

Tanhì purred as my hand scratched under her jaw, and she pressed herself against my legs. After a moment, I stood up, and looked toward the expectant Lielu.

"Did she eat enough?"

Lielu nodded. "She ate almost entire beast! Going to need hunt for her own food soon."

"I know." I said, petting Tanhì for a moment more before stepping away. "Alright, since she's learned the verbal commands, today I want to teach her how to stop and start with signals, in case words can't be used. I need you to hold her so she doesn't follow me."

Lielu listened carefully, and nodded, kneeling down to wrap her arms around the torso and behind of Tanhì. Tanhì licked her face, but didn't seem to be uncomfortable in any way.

I slowly backed up a few steps, and held up my hand with my palm facing Tanhì, my eyes on hers. She strained against Lielu's arms, but my friend held her still. I waited until Tanhì was through struggling, and then shifted my fingers into a fist.

"Let her go." I said loudly when my hand was in a fist, and Lielu quickly released Tanhì, who pranced towards me with long strides. I smiled, and praised her while Lielu remained kneeling for a few more moments.

I cleared my throat. "Alright, let's do it again."

* * *

Tanhì was a challenging creature to train, and over the days that passed in her training, I found that she taught me as much as I taught her.

Being a thanator, she was naturally intelligent and independent, but she was being raised among a species that was more social and loyal than was natural for her kind. This created an interesting situation for both Tanhì and the Tipani clan, because the two had never had to coexist in the same permanent living space.

She grew rapidly, and by the end of the week her shoulder was level with my waist. Her fangs and claws were shifting from baby-blunted to lethal and sharp weapons that could kill someone if the intent was behind them. But fortunately, Tanhì was never provoked to use those weapons that were now at her disposal. The Tipani clan was tolerant of her existence. Nothing more, nothing less. The children were the only ones who showed true interest, and you cannot begin to imagine the terror that I felt when I awoke one morning to a little toddler hanging on to Tanhì's spines, giggling like a maniac. I expected Tanhì to immediately bite the youngster, only to find that the thanator was guiding the child, helping it remain steady on its feet.

That was a shocker, to say the least.

I remembered the lethal chase of the Tanhì's mother, and couldn't make any kind of connection with their behavior. The mother had been dangerous, fierce, while Tanhì was gentle and playful.

I could only come to one conclusion.

Thanators were indeed fierce creatures, but the Na'vi also seemed to misunderstand them on a huge scale, which was surprising and I couldn't believe it at first. They couldn't observe them like they could other creatures on Pandora, and so they couldn't see the way that adults treat the cubs, or how the species interacted with family members. I saw a glimpses of that when I watched her.

Crouched in front of Lielu, growling playfully, prancing back and forth. When she would ignore her, Tanhì would attack her legs, biting down so gently that it never broke the skin. She'd shake her head slightly, and when Lielu tried to pry her off she'd growl in delight and prance backward again, tail waving high in the air, excitement radiating off of her at the prospect of a roughhouse with the member of her pack that I think she considered a sister or aunt-like figure.

Lying on the earth beside the training post, watching in silent admiration as he shot a bow with powerful grace only gained from years of training. She'd play with him as well, but she heeded him more than she did with Lielu. If he glared at her, she'd shrink away as if he had yelled at her, sinking to her belly in that apologetic way that she did with me when I scolded her, whining to gain the approval of the father figure.

I hated to admit it, but I think that she heeds him almost as much as she heeds me, which was just plain odd because he hardly spent time with her.

But he was spending more time with me and her lately, seeing as I have to train especially hard for the upcoming event that would officially make me a warrior of the Tipani. I was so incredibly scared, and wanted nothing more than to skip it all together.

Life just isn't that easy, unfortunately.

* * *

I was balancing on the upper branches of Hometree, my tail stretched out behind me as I danced from branch to branch, slowly spiraling upward. Tanhì, as she was now too large for the branches to hold her weight, was lazily dozing off in the gentle sunlight that bathed the center speaking stone. I was no longer afraid of anyone attempting to attack her, seeing as the clan had come to a hesitant acceptance of her presence, and made sure to keep their distances unless Lielu and I were around.

Tanhì was gentle with the children, but she also kept her distance around the other, less curious adults. I saw glimpses of that wild animal in her heart when a strange Na'vi man or woman got too close to me when my back was turned, a menacing growl sending them quickly on their way. No matter how I scolded, she would not curb this particular instinct of hers.

I sighed as I ran, almost losing my footing when my focus faltered for a second. I scrambled for a hold on a thick vine, and stared down at the long drop that would've been my fate if I hadn't found something to steady myself. I wasn't really afraid of heights, but the thought of falling that far to my death made me dizzy, and I had to lean against the immense trunk for a moment before starting off once more.

It was only two weeks until the iknimaya.

Was I ready?

I jumped and swung myself onto one of the higher branches, landing softly on the mossy bark, staring at the sunlight that streamed through the leaves.

No…I wasn't.

The interior layers of the tree were deathly still and quiet, even though I could see the breeze tousling the outermost leaves. I was shrouded in the cool reaches of shadow, the light falling just short of my crouched form.

I stood, and slowly made my way towards the opening that I had not yet explored, and was about to step out into the sunlight when I saw Kinak, standing stiffly by himself, barely ten feet from me. I quickly climbed up so I was on one of the higher branches that overlooked the sunny web of branches, and watched silently. I remembered that awkward moment between us two weeks ago, and we had barely spoken two words – not including necessary questions and commands that were a part of him being my teacher – to each other since. I wasn't going to be the one to break the silence, and so I found myself avoiding him at all costs. I was afraid of how I had felt that day, when his skin had been inches away from mine, his eyes pieces of burning gold.

I couldn't let myself feel those emotions, because those emotions would ruin everything.

His shoulders were tight and tense, and I saw his golden eyes stare out at the sky with a wistful expression, his face for once lacking the scowl I had come to know. His hands were limp at his side, and his long tail was loosely waving behind his calves, twitching every few minutes. I looked out to where he was staring, and saw what was capturing his attention.

There was a group of banshees and their riders, soaring and calling to each other across the sky, the banshees' bright skins reflecting the bright sunlight that lit up the forests of Pandora. Even from this distance, you could see the joy radiating from the Na'vi riders, their joy of ruling the sky above them with the link their ikran provided.

The mountains were tall and green around them, and when they were outlined by blue sky, the gracefulness of their flight took my breath away.

It was a beautiful sight, and I saw pure longing cross Kinak's face as he watched them slowly tilt away from Hometree, and soon they were gone from sight, the sun seeming dimmed somewhat in their absence.

I let out a slow breath, watching Kinak turn harshly from the sight, his face shifting into his customary frown. But the longing was still there…deep in those golden eyes.

He wanted to be a warrior so badly; he wanted so badly to be accepted as strong. He didn't want to be treated as a child anymore.

Kind of like me, in a way.

The breeze blew gently, making the leaves around me quiver, and the strands of hair that framed Kinak's face were tousled gently, his golden eyes scanning the area carefully. I sunk even deeper into the branch, straddling the thick bark, and molding my form to it, not even daring to breath. If he found me spying him, I would be _so_ screwed.

And Kinak would get the ludicrous idea that I was actually_ interested _in him, which was so _not _the idea I was trying to get across. I wasn't trying to get _anything _across!

I looked down to see that Kinak was gone, leaping down to the branch right below mine, his hair almost brushing my leg before he was lost from sight behind a tangle of vines. I let out a sigh, leaning my forehead against my arm.

I was safe.

"Sara!"

I shrieked, and scrambled to keep my hold on the branch, sitting up and glaring at my friend who was giggling as she swung to crouch beside me, her braids hanging over one shoulder as she cocked her head curiously. Her almond shaped eyes narrowed in wicked amusement at my expression of horror when she saw – and I felt – heat rush to my face.

"What were you doing?" Lielu asked with a smirk, and I pushed her away, sliding off of the branch and landing on the thick branch that led to the larger section of the tree that held the rustling ikran that belonged to Tipani warriors.

"Nothing." I said coolly, and Lielu cackled evilly, prancing in front of me.

"Oh, _really_?"

"Yes, _really_." I growled, and Lielu giggled again.

"You know, after iknimaya, you are allowed to take a mate." Lielu said quietly, and I flushed.

"Uh, thanks for the heads up. I'll be sure to keep a look out for a guy who _doesn't _hate my guts…"

Lielu laughed, and stood next to me, nudging me playfully. I stared at her smiling face, and it struck me how beautiful she was. I was positively plain in comparison. I felt a sting of envy before I forced it aside, focusing on my friend.

A question irked at my mind, but before I could ask she grabbed my hand and ran with me down to the branches, tugging me along as we made our way down to the main floor.

"Come. The children want our help in making decorations."

I blinked as we jumped lightly to a thin branch where she was forced to release my hand, and I paused to watch her swing to the ground, running down the stairs to greet a large group of giggling children who were holding up feathers and flowers for her to see. Lielu smiled, and turned to beckon me. I smiled, and quickly joined them.

The children spoke rapidly, and I was pleased to find that I understood most of what they said, and could reply without making a fool out of myself.

Their decorations included flower wreaths, small lanterns made out of thick leaves that were going to be filled with a kind of firefly that they tried to explain to me, but I gave up after a few minutes. It was just a glowing insect that would slowly eat the supply of leaves that the children put at the bottom, which would make the insect drowsy, which would cause it to go to sleep and glow brightly for the entire night.

I had stopped feeling amazed at the wonders of Pandora a _long_ time ago.

It was very peaceful, sitting with the chattering children, helping a little boy with large gentle eyes to thread together small purple flowers with petals in the pattern of a five pointed star, ending up with a small crown. He gave it to me with a grin, and I saw that his two front teeth were missing, giving him an impossibly innocent look. I patted him on the head, and put the wreath on Tanhì's head – the adolescent thanator had seen me and made her way over to investigate, and was lounging beside me with her head leaning against my thigh. This made the children giggle and tug on my arms, trying to get me to help them with their decorations.

I was having so much fun that I almost overlooked a tall young warrior that was making his way past us, putting on a cool, uninterested look. But I could see that he was interested, as he paused a few feet away from us, and, pretending to be fixing the ropes that held some of the weapon racks in place, stole glances in our direction. Well,

Can you guess who he was looking at?

Although Lielu didn't spare him a single glance, her face was glowing with shy embarrassment and satisfaction. I glanced over at the young man again, and found him once more staring at Lielu, who was still determinedly ignoring him. But I noticed with a smirk that her movements immediately became a lot more graceful than before, more suggestive.

I coughed, and winked at the giggling girls who were glancing at the warrior as well, and quickly pushed the pink flowers under my legs, and said loudly.

"Lielu, can you get some more pink flowers? We're out." I asked and Lielu nodded quickly, and got to her feet. I glanced at her as she walked toward the entrance, right past the warrior. I saw that they both gave each other what looked like a quick, indifferent glance.

But I was just a _bit_ more insightful than that.

His look was much more than a glance, it raked down to her toes before re-attaching itself to her eyes. Her glance was one of shy hesitation, and a small smile twitched on her lips before she passed him completely.

The boy turned to watch her, and I almost laughed out loud when I saw Lielu's hips sway just a _bit _more than usual, and nearly lost all my control when I saw his tail twitch at the sight.

_That's_ my girl.

I waited until the warrior was out of earshot, and grinned broadly to myself.

The girls giggled, whispering as they glanced at where Lielu had gone. I had a feeling that these children knew much more about their relationship than I had expected, and leaned in to ask.

"What is the name of that warrior?"

One of the girls beamed widely, and glanced around sneakily. "His name is O'tak, and he became a warrior with Lielu."

Another girl stood up, and giggled. "Lielu and O'tak will be mated before the season is through, if Lielu keeps walking like that!"

She strutted away from us in a pale imitation of Lielu's sensual hip swaying, and the kids and I all looked at each other, trying not to laugh.

One of the boys jumped up to join her, and the sight of his tail twitching madly send us into hysterics.

But then Lielu appeared from the outside, and the kids quickly sat down, and we all resumed our serious threading of flowers, biting out lips in an effort not to laugh. After a moment though, the kids all started giggling again, and I was the only one who managed to keep a straight face.

Lielu looked around in confusion, and whispered. "Why are they all laughing?"

I shrugged, smiling slightly.

"They're kids, what can you expect? They're probably laughing at a leaf or something…"

Lielu frowned, and we continued weaving, leaving the children to giggle around us, their bright teeth gleaming in the sunlight as they talked and laughed.

It was in those peaceful minutes that the anxiety concerning the upcoming iknimaya was forgotten, all my confusion with Kinak lost in the laughter and happiness created as we wove flowers together, and talked about how pretty the lanterns would look when it was dark out.

Oh, what a sight they would be!


	11. Something Changed

FINALLY!

I loved writing this chapter, and I'm SO excited to write the next chapter or so! Bwahahaha!

anyway, I hope that there was enough detail to satisfy you detail-lovin' readers! Also, for you all who have that Na'vi guide book thing and find something odd with the rituals I use here, know that I dont really care what the "right" ritual is or what the Na'vi actually do for the iknimaya, and so dont review telling me how wrong I am cuz i'll get really ticked off...cuz this is MY story, and MY imagination is free to run wild here!

okay, enough of that, ENJOY! and please review!

:D

_

* * *

Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _Tipani Clan Hometree

_Date:_ January 4, 2155

***

_Entry 8_

_ It's the night before the iknimaya. _

_I'm leaning on Tanhì's shoulder, both of us in her padded sleeping place by the spiral stairs that lead to the upper hammocks. I'm typing away while the Na'vi women and children around me tie the leaf lanterns to the large opening that leads into Hometree, watching the small bugs inside shed bright waves of luminescence throughout the central cavity. There are other decorations being set up as well, in anticipation for the feast that will take place tomorrow night, after the new warriors return from their journey to the roost of the banshees. _

_ There's nothing like the Hallelujah Mountains here in the land of the Tipani, and so the warriors would instead travel by direhorse to the ocean caves, where they would then travel by foot to the place where the banshees lived. Then, each warrior would bond with his or her banshee. There were only about ten of us, and there were at least two hundred banshees, so there was no chance of not finding a banshee to bond with. _

_ It sounded so simple in my head; I wish that reality were just as effortless. _

_ This was not only my test to become a warrior; it was also my test to prove that I was worthy to be one of the Tipani Clan. I knew that most of the people in the clan were waiting for me to fail; waiting for me to break under the pressure. _

_ That's why I _couldn't_ fail; I had to be strong enough…I _had_ to. _

_Tanhì just tried to lick the computer screen, and it made me realize how big she is. I mean, she's at least five feet at the shoulder, and her canines are now so large that even when she closed her mouth completely, the sharp points of her fangs poke out, strikingly white against her shiny black skin. She's thicker than before, as lean muscle had begun to accumulate to replace baby fat. _

_Tanhì could now carry some of the larger children around with ease, as I saw three of them lounging on her back one day, and her walking around in a lazy attempt to get dislodge them. The children often draped themselves over her, despite the angry words and warnings given by their mothers and fathers, and I felt a bit guilty for letting them get away with it. But the sight of them lying over her back while she walked around was too cute of a sight, and I, being a pathetic sucker for cute things, let them do it. _

_Jeez. I'm like, the worst role model in the world. _

_The sight of them quasi-riding Tanhì gave me an idea, but whenever I stopped to think about it I was distracted by something else, and the thought was pushed aside. I've been trying to remember what it was, but I'm not having much luck so far. _

_I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be feeling right now. I mean, I probably should be scared, nervous, and maybe a bit excited. But I didn't feel any of those, instead just a nauseous feeling in my gut, and an ache in my chest. _

_Was that normal? _

_I wish that I could borrow some of Kinak's excitement, just for a little while. For the past two weeks, he's been so jumpy and full of anticipation that it's almost annoying. But because it's Kinak – this is the only time I've ever seen him express any emotion that wasn't negative – I've been letting it slide. _

_But as a result, he's gotten harsher with his teaching, and has threatened to stop teaching me sometimes because I wasn't using the _meresh'ti cau'pla_ correctly. That's the one weapon that I'm having trouble with, which is a problem, because that's the one weapon that I need to master in order to complete the iknimaya. _

_I can't say I'm surprised, because this is _me_ we're talking about, not some perfect person who can enter an alien culture and master everything without having a single flaw. _

_I'm just Sara Mason. That's it. No special talent, no distinguishing features, nothing _unique_. Just average, in the background. _

_Lielu is coming over, and I assume that she's going to tell me that it's time to go to bed, so I'm going to cut it short this time. _

_This is it, the last time that I sit here as _just_ Sara Mason. Hopefully, tomorrow night, I would become Sara Mason, warrior of the Tipani Clan. _

_Hm…that has a nice ring to it. _

_End of Entry 8_

* * *

When I closed my eyes that night, I had the strangest dream.

_I was on a ledge, the rock around me white and smooth from the almost constant ocean winds that blew. There was sparse shrubs growing around some of the boulders, but other than that there was no plant-life. _

_I was standing alone, staring out at the forests that covered the landscape, stretching out to reach the shore of the deep blue ocean that was slowly brightening in anticipation of the sunrise. _

_I looked around me in confusion. There were blurred shapes, brightly colored, but no matter how I squinted, they wouldn't come into focus. I heard shrieks in the air, and the brightly colored blurs were fading in and out of focus, the sound of rushing air filling my ears. I turned away from them after a moment. _

Where am I?

_I heard a humming sound in the air, a deep sound that sent chills down my spine. Something was about to happen. _

_My heart was pounding in my chest, but it was also aching in a way that made my skin crawl. Something wasn't complete, wasn't right, I had to _find_ something…but what?_

_I was alone. _

_The thought was painful, and the ache seemed to intensify as I stood there, staring out at the sky that was rapidly lightening as the sun came closer and closer to revealing itself. _

_Something roared behind me, and I whirled around to find myself face to face with–_

_A single eye – wide and full of rage, the pupil a black pinprick among the pool of white – filled my vision. There was a horrible slash of pain on my leg, and I screamed, the sound echoing strangely in my mind. _

_I was suddenly falling, so fast that tears welled up in my eyes, and my hair blew behind me in a tornado of braids, whipping my face. I felt adrenaline pumping through me, and relished in the exhilarating feeling of being suspended in the air. _

_Finally free. _

I awoke with a start, only to find Lielu's hand inches from my arm, her eyes large and luminous in the darkness of early morning. She smiled widely, revealing her sharp canines and giving her a feline-like anticipation that made me stare with wide eyes.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the hammock and onto the branch beside her, and we both silently made our way down to the bottom floor of Hometree, where Citra and the group of trainees were waiting. I searched through the fierce faces until I found Kinak's, and found that he wasn't looking at me, instead focusing on Lielu, his golden eyes deep and indiscernible. She smiled widely at him, and I watched him give her a nod in return. I felt a pang of hurt, but forced it back, and joined the group with my chin high.

It's not like I _cared_ or anything, right?

Kinak was still staring at Lielu.

Right.

Citra nodded to Lielu, who smiled again at the nervous group of soon-to-be warriors before disappearing back up the stairs. I watched her go for a moment before following the group outside into the cool morning air, the dark sky still sparkling with stars.

I lost sight of Kinak as we mounted the direhorses that were waiting quietly by the trees, one for each of us. I picked the one farthest to the left, and made the bond without hesitation.

I felt the shivering feeling that lasted for a split second, the melding of two consciousnesses, and the creature's senses drifted to combine with mine. I let out a breath as the feeling settled in, and mounted in a sure movement, mentally nudging the creature into a gallop to follow the others.

Trust me, I was _not_ that confident on the inside. My poor little mind was going crazy with nervousness…the confidence was just a mask that gave me something to focus on other than the impending test I would soon have to face.

But even _I _couldn't ignore how beautiful the forest was, still shimmering with bioluminescence and the moss under the direhorse hooves glowing brightly and flickering as we passed. There were calls of creatures, the only sounds that pierced the calm stillness, and I saw glimpses of bright eyes as they peered out from behind leaves and from the branches of the trees.

The rider in front of me jumped smoothly over a log, and I felt a thrill of pride as I unconsciously did the same, the mental thought needed to command the action almost second nature. I could feel the muscles of the direhorse bunch beneath me, and yet a small part of my body was internally feeling the direhorse jump, because of the neural bond that connected our minds together.

For split instances, the ground was pounding against our hooves as we weaved through the trees and passed large flowers that glowed with bioluminescence. The air was cool against our skin, and the night was filled with enhanced scents and sounds that made me look around with new eyes.

Hours passed in what felt like no time at all, and I looked up again to see that the sky was a pale pink and gold, the sun close to appearing over the horizon. It was only then that I realized how sore my hands were from being clenched just below the stiff neck of my mount, my neck stiff from holding it so tensely the entire trip. I sucked in a deep breath as the direhorse in front of me began to slow, and I saw Citra up ahead, motioning with her upraised arm. I followed soundlessly as Citra led the group into a small clearing that was barely big enough for the direhorses to comfortably feed in.

"Dismount." Citra barked loudly in Na'vi, and we all quickly complied. I patted my direhorse on the neck, and he nuzzled my hair for a moment before moving to feed with the others. I smiled as his long tongue slid out to lick up the nectar that resided in the throat of the flower, and quickly followed the group.

We were led to a ring that was lined with flat stones that were just the right size for sitting on, with painted symbols adorning them, the paint faded with age. Citra barked at us again to sit down, and I quickly chose a place, not even thinking about who I was sitting next to.

Of course, I just _had_ to get the seat next to Kinak. I nearly groaned, and resisted the urge to bang my head against the stone I was sitting on. Now all I would be thinking about was how _politely_ Kinak had nodded to Lielu, how his eyes had stared at her as if a certain _someone_ were not even present.

That certain someone being _moi_.

Ugh, this is so childish. But I can't seem to help myself; it's just what being an average girl is about. Well, with me anyway, I don't know how other average girls feel, but for me, it's a never-ending cycle:

_1) Become aware that she is average. _

_2) Get jealous of other girl(s) who is obviously better than average – or just better than _her_…that works too. _

_3) Become resentful and speculate why exactly that other girl has gotten the attention of the man that the average girl wan–_

Whoa, _wait_! That's not what I was trying to say at all! What the heck is _wrong_ with me?

_4) Wallow in self-pity until distracted, and continue life until Step 1 repeats itself, and the rest of the steps will quickly follow._

I sat down quickly, crossing my legs as I saw the others doing. I forced myself not to even glance at Kinak, though I was itching to see if he was even curious to see where I was.

Citra was standing at the top of the circle, watching us all with proud, fierce eyes that made me instinctively sit up straighter.

"Join hands." She murmured, and I felt a jolt of something when I reached out to take Kinak's hand in mine. His hand was warm, and – even though I know he was only doing it because he was ordered to – I couldn't help but smile when his fingers curved around mine.

Citra raised her eyes to the heavens, and began a chant in the language of the Na'vi. It took me a few moments to understand, but then it all seemed to click into place.

_Eywa_

_The Mother who guides, who lives within_

_Breathes and speaks her will _

_Gives us_

_The strength to conquer, the fear that lies_

_Within all of life_

_Eywa_

_You have before you, warriors who wish_

_To become worthy_

_Grant them_

_The power to live, a true Na'vi_

_Provide, nourish_

_Give them_

_Life!_

The sun broke over the horizon, making the forest glow with golden light. It was warm on my skin, and I was brought back to reality.

I gasped as I felt the stone beneath me grow warm, almost in a soothing way. I looked down to see that the symbols on the stones were glowing with green bioluminescence, and Citra was chanting still, repeating the last two lines over and over, holding a small bowl in her hands.

I felt Kinak's hand in mine, his pulse racing against my fingers. I don't know why I did this, but I found myself rubbing soothing circles into the back of his hand with my thumb, anything to ease the panicky racing of his heart.

Citra moved around to each of us, and dipped her fingers into the bowl before drawing a V that went from the upper left and right points on our foreheads to just above our brows, along with a small dot in the center. It felt moist and cool against my skin, and I stared at the horizon that was suddenly awash with brilliant gold and red, the flaming orange sun making its way towards the open sky.

I'd _like_ to say that in that moment, I felt brave.

But then I'd be lying.

There were many emotions I was experiencing just then, and bravery was _definitely_ not one of them.

I felt instead an uneasy feeling that started in my feet and slowly spread to my legs, my stomach, my chest. I didn't know exactly what it was, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn't go away. It remained beneath my skin like an irksome itch, only I was unable to scratch it.

Citra finished with the last person in the circle, and then stood up, looking around with a wild, excited grin. Kinak quickly, almost frantically, released my hand, and I pushed back the embarrassment as we all got to our feet.

Citra's voice broke the silence.

"It is time."

* * *

After traveling by direhorse for an hour or so, we reached the sea. It was a beautiful place, with sandy shores and rocky caves that sparkled in the sunlight.

We went on foot from there.

The sand was soft under my feet, and I followed the group toward some of the smaller caves. They were a clear blue-gray color, and the waves broke with a musical beauty against their thick outer walls. Citra made her way towards one that was marked with a strange symbol, and motioned for us to follow her into the cave's mouth.

It was strangely warm inside, and I looked around in confusion. There was a large pool of fresh-water at the back of the cave, but other than that, there were no paths for us to take, no secret openings…nothing. I could see that the others were confused about it as well, and Citra smiled at our perplexed expressions.

"The only way to reach the ikran nesting place is through the pool. Follow the lights, they will lead you to the other side. Be careful, there are creatures that do not take kindly to intruders, and will attack if you stray beyond the lights. May Eywa be with you."

Citra touched her brow before turning and diving into the pool. We all knelt by the edge to watch her swim strongly towards the bottom, and then under a overhanging stone, become lost from sight.

I looked up to see the young men and women glancing at each other nervously. They were all hesitant to be the first one to follow. It was almost funny; all of these young men and women put on a fierce façade because that was what was expected of them, but now that Citra was gone they finally allowed their fear to show. I wasn't alone in being frightened of the upcoming test. I took a deep breath, standing up quickly. I was most likely the most frightened trainee here, why not break the average tradition and take a leap into the unknown?

I motioned the others out of my way, and allowed myself a grin at their astonished faces.

I wanted so badly to glance over at Kinak, but forced myself instead to take a deep breath.

I ran lightly to the edge.

And, for _no_ reason whatsoever, I yelled. "Booyah!"

I didn't have time to see their reactions, because I was already underwater.

It wasn't freezing like I expected it to be, instead pleasantly cool, like the swimming pool that my parents had built when I was five. I loved that pool, because I could see so clearly to the bottom, and I could always make sure that there were no sharks waiting to eat me.

We all had our child-hood fears…and mine was sharks. Even though I had never seen them in real life – I lived in Colorado. It all began when my older brother Jim took me to see an exclusive re-run of the movie _Jaws_. It was ancient, but people still found enjoyment in bringing back some of the old classics.

Now, you must understand, I was _five_ when I saw that movie. Not exactly the best age to spend an hour and a half watching a bloodthirsty shark attack and devour innocent swimmers.

As a result, I was quite literally scarred for life, and lived my days avoiding the pool like one would the plague. I was even scared about taking a _bath_!

Don't worry, when I was twelve years old my parents took me to a therapist and I was gradually taught that sharks do _not _live in swimming pools, and would _not_ eat me up if I wanted to go swimming in the ocean with my pink inflatable raft. It practically erased my fears of swimming, but I still felt a jolt of terror when I saw anything unfamiliar in the water, the small five-year-old in my brain warning me to watch out for sharks.

I opened my eyes to see that I was in the deep depression that made up the pool, and that there was a narrow opening that led to a brightly lit path in the stone.

My hair was floating around my head, and I pushed the long braids out of my face, pushing out with strong strokes toward the opening. I touched the smooth stone that made up the opening, and was about to go through when I heard the muffled sound of another trainee diving in after me.

I turned to see Kinak looking around with his large golden eyes, his lips tightly pressed together to keep the air in. Strands of his hair were floating in front of his eyes, in a strangely endearing way that made me want to throw my arms around him.

I felt my face heating up rapidly, and quickly turned away, pulling myself through the opening, kicking off to find myself in an underwater cavern that was immense. Fish that were bright and colorful swam in front of my face, tickling my nose. I smiled, and saw that there was a stretch of water that had small glowing plants that lined a strip of water, like beacons placed beside a garden path. I swam in between the two lines of lights, looking around in wonder.

There were kelp-like structures gently waving back and forth with the currents, and strips of sun glittered in the water as I swam. It was a tranquil existence here, and I wanted to just stop and float, gently pushed by the current.

So peaceful.

But I hadn't magically sprouted gills – damn – so I was forced to pick up the pace as my lungs began to ache for air. This Na'vi body had very efficient lungs, which allowed me to hold my breath much longer than I had been able to as a human. But even so, if I didn't hurry up, I'd run out of air.

There was a much brighter circle of water, and I swam towards it, as quickly as I could. My lungs were now screaming for air, and I felt the itching sensation in my throat that signaled that if I didn't breathe soon all hell would break loose.

For me, anyway.

I was only about ten feet away when my throat suddenly convulsed, and I coughed harshly, inhaling frantically, causing water to rush down my airway. I clutched my throat frantically, pressing my hands against my mouth to prevent any more water from entering. Way to go and waste precious time looking at the wildlife…now you might just die for it.

I kicked with my feet, and blinked as the light from the opening hit my eyes. I swam desperately to the surface, and was grateful when Citra's roughened hand darted down to grab my hand, pulling me from the water and onto the cool stone floor. I choked and gasped for breath, spitting out mouthfuls of water, coughing and retching as I crawled away from the pool.

Citra didn't move to help me, and I was grateful. It was already embarrassing enough for her to have to help me exit the pool. I didn't want to have to see the smug smirk that I knew was on her face.

I heard the sound of Kinak climbing out of the pool, and his gasps for breath as he got to his feet. I heard Citra praising him in soft tones, and I leaned against the wall, my trembling hands clenching into fists as I took deep breaths.

I didn't turn around until I heard all of the other trainees climbing out of the pool, and turned to see Citra smiling at all of them, her smile somehow missing me.

"Good work, all of you. Now, we travel up to the ikran nesting place."

I felt a thrill of fear, and forced myself up to my feet, fingering the now partially dry _meresh'ti cau'pla _that was coiled around my belt. My heart was beating fast, and I watched as Citra stared at each of us for a few moments. She at last reached me, and I was surprised at the emotion that lay behind them as she searched my face.

She wasn't bitter, wasn't scornful. Her eyes were filled with…pride.

Wait, this is _Citra_ we're talking about. Maybe I swallowed too much water, and it's affecting my judgment. Yeah, that was it…

Citra held my gaze for a few more moments, and then turned her back and strode toward the naturally formed stairway that led up to the nesting place. I heard the shrieks and screams of the banshees above us, and saw that my hands were shaking slightly.

This was it.

No turning back now.

I felt someone come to stand beside me, and saw that it was Kinak. I stared at him, not daring myself to speak, and he stared at me just as silently. There was a strand of hair hanging between his eyes, and I found myself gently pushing the strand out of his face, letting my fingers tuck it behind his ear. I expected him to smack my hand away, and was shocked to find that he didn't move, his eyes closing for a brief moment.

I pulled my hand back hastily, my face burning, and his eyes slowly opened, staring into mine for a moment that seemed to last forever.

I don't know what changed in that moment, but something just…_shifted_ in our relationship. Shifted in terms of mentor and student, fellow trainees, even friends.

Something changed, something…that I can't begin to describe, because I didn't even fully comprehend the presence of something between us that _could_ be shifted.

Kinak seemed about to say something, but Citra's cut voice echoed around us, and he turned on his heel and followed her up the stairs, the others slowly following. He didn't look back, and soon disappeared along with Citra.

I shook my head, and quickly followed them up the stairs.

I paused before reaching the top, staring up at the blue sky, and took a deep breath.

I didn't even give myself to think, instead forcing myself to move to that last step, out onto the ocean cliff.

I couldn't turn back now.

No, I _wouldn't _turn back now.


	12. Reflection

Finally! Here's the next chapter, and please tell me what you think! Sorry if some of you want to kill me...but if you kill me you'll never know what comes next!

:D

please review!

* * *

I blinked in the bright sunshine that nearly blinded me, and squinted for a moment before my eyes opened wide, my mind going blank for a split second.

It was the place that I had dreamt about, the wind bleached rocks in the exact same places; the scrubby brush barely surviving in the relentless wind. I tucked my hair behind my ears, only to have it pulled back out by the wind, whipping against my shoulders and neck. I moved forward toward the group that was waiting on the slightly higher stone that overlooked the nesting place. I gasped, the sound lost in the roar of the wind.

There were hundreds of banshees crawling around and calling to each other with screeches and roars. There were so many different shades of color that they looked like a rainbow, constantly shifting and moving, so much that it made my eyes hurt to look at them. Most of them were average size, but there were some unusually large ones among them, with menacing teeth that were bared as they guarded their hard-won living space. I looked around, feeling my heart pound.

One of those creatures was waiting for me…one of those banshees would soon be carrying me across the sky. I wonder, what color would he or she be? How would I even _tell_ if it was a he or she?

Kinak was standing towards the back (why was I tracking him like this?), and Citra was nudging a young woman towards the nesting area. The trainee's face was wary, but she didn't hesitate as she lightly jumped down to the end of the nests, slowly making her way toward the banshees.

The next hour or so was…sorry to say, pretty boring.

It was the same thing…over and over…

_Immobilize banshee. Get on banshee's back and go through struggle. Bond with banshee. Fly away._

I knew that I wouldn't be half as skilled as the others were while battling with their banshee, heck, I doubt that I'd even be _half_ as skilled. I hung back as the others bravely leaped down, one at a time, until there were only two of us left.

Now, I know that most of you are probably imagining that Kinak nearly throttled the life out of the other trainees for the chance to go as soon as possible. Don't worry, that's what I expected to happen as well. But…that's where things got weird.

Kinak was the second to last…and he didn't even say boo about it.

Weird, right?

Citra must've been surprised as well, because when she turned around to see Kinak and I standing there she did a double take, her eyes widening at Kinak for a moment before she recovered.

"Kinak, you next."

Kinak nodded coolly, and, without looking at me, jumped down to the rocky cliff, unrolling his _meresh'ti cau'pla _as he went. I found myself drawn to the scene, crouching on the very edge, my eyes catching every movement he made.

The other people I didn't really care to watch, but Kinak was a different story. With me, everything about Kinak was a different story

If you haven't picked up on that by now, take a freaking _hike_.

Kinak slowly made his way forward, and, as they had done with the other trainees, the banshees screamed and shrieked, and some took off at his stealthy approach, their wings flapping anxiously to put space between them.

Kinak hissed menacingly at a group of banshees – the sound sent a thrill of something in my stomach, my skin tingling in the strangest way – and I heard them scrabbling at the stone in their haste to retreat. In a flurry, the group dove off of the cliff, and I felt something in my gut lurch dangerously as I saw a pair of banshees – a dark red one with purple stripes and a deep aqua blue one with a white line down its face and wing – disappear from sight.

It was that uneasy feeling again, what _was_ it? I swallowed, and focused on Kinak once more.

There were plenty of banshees left, and Kinak slowly stared at each one, and I let out a breath when his gaze locked on one of them, and a smile slowly stretched across his face.

The banshee was a bright crimson in color, with darker burgundy splotches on its back and wings that were intermixed with more shades of purple and dark gray. Its eyes were bright and dangerous as it eyed Kinak with interest, its mouth opening to reveal large fangs. It faced Kinak, its head moving from side to side like a snake waiting to strike.

I felt a thrill of excitement as Kinak slowly started swinging the bola, his long legs bending slightly to provide balance and leverage. I grinned, and leaned forward to see better, my hands gripping the weathered rock tightly. Citra whooped in encouragement, and the banshee suddenly decided to make the first move.

Kinak waited for the banshee to get close enough, and his arm flicked out with the swinging _meresh'ti cau'pla_, aiming for the top jaw of the banshee, just like he had taught me to do.

The frond whipped around the jaw of the creature, and it shrieked as it shook its head wildly to rid itself of the constricting weapon that was preventing it from biting the persistent Na'vi who was now leaping on its back with a fierce cry.

I watched with wide eyes as Kinak grabbed the antenna closest to him and tried to get his braid to connect with it, only the banshee had other plans. It's wing came up and tried to clip Kinak on the head, and Kinak ducked the first time, but the second strike came impossibly fast, and it caught him in the face, sending him flying backward onto the rocks.

"Kinak!" I yelled, and Citra hissed at me to be silent, but I ignored her. There was bright red blood dripping down Kinak's jaw and neck, and I saw that his lips were set in a tight line of pain.

The banshee was still struggling to get free of the frond, and it's wild eyes locked with Kinak's, and the breathing holes that were situated on either sides of its thick neck vibrated as a deep hum filled the air. It was a terrifying hum, the hum of fear and fierce anger that made my ears instinctively flatten against my skull. Kinak didn't even bat an eyelash, instead wiping away the blood that was now dripping down his collarbone. I saw for an instant the gash that went from his chin to the edge of his ear, following the jawbone's path. My heart stopped beating for a split second, before continuing its rapid fluttering.

Suddenly, Kinak jumped for the banshee, dodging its head that jabbed forward in an attempt to hit him in the chest, and leaped onto its back once more. The banshee screamed in a way that seemed to make the very earth quiver in fear, but Kinak didn't stop trying to connect his braid to the antennae. His golden eyes were hard and determined, and his hands so calm and sure even though he was in a fight for his life.

After a moment or so, I saw the tendrils of his braid intertwine with those of the banshee, and everything went eerily still. The only sound was the banshee's labored breathing and the rustling of the banshees around the rocks. Kinak slowly releasing his hold on the antenna, his eyes slightly unfocused as huge gasps were released from his lungs. I sighed in relief, and Kinak looked up at the two of us with a huge grin on his face.

I grinned back at him, and Citra shouted something at him, but I was too busy smiling at Kinak to hear what she said. Kinak nodded to the woman behind me, and turned toward the cliff, his legs tightening hurriedly on the banshee as the two suddenly dove over the cliff.

I moved toward the edge frantically as I saw Kinak swoop down dangerously at first, but after a moment he evened out, and I relaxed, watching him soar in wide circles around the mountains. He looked so at ease in the sky, it was clear that he had been waiting his whole life for this moment where he would be able to fly with his lifetime banshee companion. I shouted his name excitedly, but I don't think he heard me.

Citra gave me a not-so-gentle nudge that almost sent me flying over the edge.

"Your turn, _skxawng." _

I scowled at her name for me, and she grinned cheekily, watching me walk over to the edge that overlooked the nest of banshees that were watching us warily. Their wings were flapping half-heartedly, in anticipation almost.

I slowly jumped down to the center of the nest, and held my bola at the ready, feeling a nervous jolt as the frond unwound from its curled position with a sliding-hissing noise. I moved forward, searching, waiting for something to happen.

The air was cool on my skin, the sun beating down on my shoulders in waves of persistent heat. My bare soles felt the tiny rocks underfoot, the solid support of the rock that was attached to the cliff. The creatures around me were roaring and screeching non-stop, and I searched through the creatures as calmly as I could – there were only about twenty of them left now.

I jumped onto a rock, scanning desperately, the feeling in my gut getting stronger and stronger.

That uneasy feeling that was slowly becoming more and more noticeable every second.

I crouched down like a cat, my tail waving nervously back and forth as I searched for a banshee that…well, I don't really know what I was waiting for. I supposed that I would instinctively know which banshee was the right one for me, and none of the ones here were making me feel that way.

I slowly slid down so I was facing the rest of the banshees, and I swung my bola threateningly as I had seen Kinak do, and was shocked to see that they all scrambled to get away, hissing and screaming at each other.

The banshees dove off of the cliffs, and I was left with a numb feeling, as I stood there alone on the cliff. I heard Citra's hand touch my shoulder, but I pushed her hand away without really registering the thought that went into the action.

They had…all left.

I felt my knees shaking, and they soon became too unsteady to support my weight, and I crumpled to the ground, my eyes smarting and stinging.

They were all gone, and I was left here, watching as the others flew around with ease. I felt Citra's hand again, and her voice was rough with surprise and sympathy.

"Sara, you–"

I pushed her away again, and was surprised at how calm and quiet my voice was when I spoke.

"Citra…please, I just want to be alone. I'll find my way back to Hometree…just go…" I whispered, my voice breaking, and felt Citra's hand release me reluctantly. I stared out at the sky as Citra called for her banshee, and I watched as the group of banshee riders circled high in the air, their yells of exhilaration faintly heard in the wind that blew against my face.

I didn't look up as Citra mounted her banshee, and took off almost silently, and I saw her swoop upward to fly towards the trainees that were patiently flying around, waiting for her.

I felt my throat constrict as she got farther and farther away until she was like the rest of them, specks in the distance. Too far away for me to hear what they were saying, too far away for them to see the tears that escaped my control, and dripped down my face.

I had worked so hard to get this far…and for what? To fail miserably and shame myself in front of one of the people I wanted most to impress…that was all that had resulted from me becoming one of the Tipani.

Sänume said that she wanted me as one of the Tipani clan because she saw that I was strong.

How was I strong if I couldn't even prove myself worthy of a banshee?

If I couldn't even keep up with Kinak, how was I in any way strong?

I was pathetic, and I wanted to curl up in a ball and sink into the earth, where I would never have to see the disgust on Kinak's face when he realized that I had failed, Lielu's embarrassed and sympathetic eyes, Sänume's shame and disappointment.

I didn't want to face any of them; I just wanted to…go home. I wanted to be human again, in that brief moment. I wanted those days with Norm again, tricking Jake into eating applesauce that we secretly spiked with wasabi, laughing hysterically at Jake's expression of horror. I wanted those quiet moments with Max, where we wouldn't have to say much, instead basking in the warm friendship that lay between us. The scolding I would attempt to give Jake, the determined set to his blue eyes, me secretly admitting that no matter how many times I told him not to strain himself, he would do it anyway. Moments in the lab with Dr. Grace Augustine, her bright eyes smiling at me as I excitedly told her about a sample I examined that day, and what my theories were concerning them.

However odd our little group could be, they were still my family. They were the ones that I depended on to keep my sanity here on this strange planet, the ones who I trusted without any hesitation. I would willingly die for any of them, and I know that they would do the same for me. That was the level of trust we all had, the bond that lay beneath all the exterior conflicts.

But I could never go back now.

I was stuck here, I was stuck living my life as a Tipani in shame…shame that I had failed them. I had failed the family that had so much faith in me, so much love.

Jake, I wonder how he would take the news that his friend failed the iknimaya. Would he be surprised, or had he known all along that I wouldn't be tough enough to pass this test? I wonder…would Norm care? Somehow I doubt that it would bother him, he'd be the one who would be hugging me right now, telling me that it's all okay.

A sob tore itself harshly from my throat, and I wrapped my arms around myself, crouched on the hard stone, my head bent in sorrow.

I had failed the test.

But most of all, I had failed myself.

That was the worst part, and I continued to cry…all alone on the cliff.

* * *

When the sun was low in the sky, I made my way back to Hometree, and when I got there I found that no one was making eye contact with me, like I was some kind of plague. I supposed that was to be expected, but it still hurt, and I was glad when Tanhì came to distract me with her loving adoration. Her shiny skin glistened in the golden light from the setting sun.

I knelt to hug her around the neck, avoiding her sharp spines.

"I'm glad that you at least still believe in me, Tanhì." I whispered, and she tried to lick my face, but I pulled away. I grabbed a spare bow and quiver of arrows from the weapons rack, avoiding the smirks and whispers from the men that were standing there, and motioned for Tanhì to follow me.

I heard the cries of banshees right above me, and I looked up to see that the newly appointed warriors were returning from their customary first flight, and I flinched as I heard the Tipani clan cheering and whooping to celebrate the warriors' success. It was now dusk, and I saw the children hurriedly lighting their little lanterns, placing the leaves in the container for the luminescent bugs to consume. As the warriors landed in front of the entrance, only a few hundred feet from where I was standing, I saw Citra laughing in joy, and saw the other young men and women grinning with excitement and pride. I felt a lump rise in my throat as I saw Kinak's glowing golden eyes.

He was so happy…the happiest I've ever seen him. I should be happy for him…then why am I crying?

I saw him turn, and our eyes met for a split second.

It was only for a moment, but I saw the pity in those golden depths, and something else that made the pain even worse.

He was suddenly gone, because I had turned and stared running, hearing Tanhì quickly follow me, her strong legs pounding in rhythm with mine. I rubbed my arm desperately across my eyes, but the tears kept coming.

Even Kinak had given up on me…even him…even…

I felt my throat tighten as I imagined how graceful and stunning he had been on his banshee, his strong arms effortlessly gripping onto the creature's antennae, the smooth features of his face, the fierce set to his shoulders. So powerful and breath taking…I could never even hope to compare.

Why would I ever expect Kinak of all people to ever see me as something…something more?

It was so ridiculous, and yet even as I said that to myself I couldn't stop the sobs that ripped from my throat, the desperate pumping of my legs to distance myself from Hometree, anything to escape the looks of pity, the derisive smirks and whispers.

I stopped after a while, and saw that it was almost completely dark, the plants around me glowing and flickering with bioluminescence. I was on a long structure that overlooked the water, making my feet inches from the water's surface. I knelt down, and was about to dip my hands into the water when I caught sight of my reflection.

Large golden eyes, deep blue striped skin that was decorated with small glowing dots that were scattered symmetrically across the woman's body. Long tight braids that went to her middle back, and a longer braid that was thick and sturdy, going past her waist. Her lips were parted as she breathed heavily, and her cheeks were streaked with tears.

I snarled angrily, picking up a stone that was near my hand and throwing it violently into the water.

"I hate you, I hate you!" I screamed at her, and I heard Tanhì whine next to me, confused about this loud shouting, and I ignored her, my hands joining the rocks, disrupting the glassy surface of the pool and making the reflection of the young Na'vi woman disappear. But after a moment or two, the image returned, slightly rippled by the splashing but just as clear as before.

I stared at the image, and felt a sob escape me once more as it became as smooth and flawless as before, and sat back on my heels. I wiped my face, and saw that the image did the same.

I stopped, and I felt a tingle of déjà vu as I stared down at the image.

It was just like that day…the day I had become a Na'vi. The dream in which I saw my other self…and she was crying.

I slowly reached out, and felt a jolt when the image did the same, and when I touched the water it was so softly that there was no ripple.

It was my reflection…this was me. That young Na'vi woman in the water was Sara Mason, just as the human woman was Sara Mason. There was no difference, for our minds were the same, our hearts were the same.

Tanhì nuzzled my hand, and I stared at her.

I slowly looked back at the reflection, and the image smiled back at me as a thought reached me.

If this image was me…then why was I backing down from a challenge like this? The Sara Mason that Dr. Grace Augustine hired was the Sara Mason that _wasn't_ afraid to take chances, no matter what the consequences were, because she was determined to succeed. Yes, she was insecure and hesitant by nature, but if it hadn't stopped her then, why in _hell_ should it stop her now?

I stood up, and Tanhì looked up at me, her amber eyes questioning.

I swallowed hard, and began to run again, back the way I had come.

The pain was still there, but it was dulled now, pushed aside as another plan formulated in my brain.

I would not fail.

* * *

_It was a few hours into the celebration, and Kinak was leaning against the entrance to Hometree, his golden eyes staring up at the night sky that was scattered with thousands of stars that winked and glittered down at him. _

_ His chest was heavy, despite the joy that still radiated through him at finally completing the iknimaya after months of preparation. He was finally a warrior of the Tipani Clan, something that he had been working toward for his entire life. _

_ It seemed that everything should be perfect…but it was somehow…not so. _

_ Sara's eyes still haunted his thoughts, the sad eyes that made him feel so…he didn't even know. He knew that she was supposed to be an outsider, one of the strange aliens that were false creatures of Eywa. And yet…he found himself almost enjoying her company in a way, a completely foreign way that made him uncomfortable. Why, though? _

_Sara wasn't extraordinarily beautiful – she wasn't _completely_ unattractive, she just lacked the willowy figure of the other women of Kinak's clan, instead possessing features that vaguely resembled the body structure that resembled a human – and she was merely adequate at hunting and tracking…some of the _children_ were more efficient than she was. There was nothing _exceptional _about her…then why were his thoughts so focused on her?_

_ What was it about her that just…_appealed_ to him?_

_ Kinak didn't know, and the fact that he was even thinking these thoughts disturbed him. _

_ But the way that her fingers had gently tucked his hair behind his ear still lingered in his thoughts, the soft upturn of her lips as she smiled, the clear sincerity of her eyes that were unshielded, open for everyone to see. _

_ Kinak was dragged from his musing to the sound of footsteps behind him. _

_ "Kinak!" The young man turned to see his older sister running towards him, her eyes wide and concerned. Lielu was normally enthusiastic and playful, and so the fact that she was worried now made him immediately tense. _

_ "What?" He said quietly, and Lielu quickly asked. _

_ "Have you seen Sara anywhere?" _

_ "No, why?" _

_ Lielu cursed, and turned around to rush off, but Kinak grabbed her arm, his eyes flashing. _

_ "What has happened, Lielu?" _

_ Lielu seemed close to panic, her eyes frightened and wide. "One of the women said that they saw Sara ride away on a pa'li a few hours ago, and that she had taken a meresh'ti cau'pla with her. She's–"_

_ Kinak had paled, and he turned without another word toward the stairs that led up to where the ikran were resting. He leapt with large bounds, ignoring the yells of congratulations he received from clan members who were making their way down to the main floor. _

_ Kinak reached the large branch that led to the outside, and released a short cry that pierced through the cool night air. The leaves rustled, and with a shriek his ikran emerged, its crimson hide glinting in the luminescence of the plants around them. Kinak quickly made the bond, and leapt onto its back. _

_ "Nìwin!" Kinak yelled, and the ikran dove off the edge, speeding down to gain speed, its wings snapping out to level out, beating frantically, and shifting to match itself to Kinak's instructions. _

_ Kinak's heart beat fast. _

_ Sara was going to the ikran nesting place alone, to try and bond with an ikran. _

_ To do that, she had to go through the ocean caves at night. _

_ There was a reason that they held the iknimaya during the day, and it made Kinak's stomach turn thinking about what that reason was, and how if he didn't reach Sara in time, she would learn the reason as well. _

_ Only in her case, she would learn the reason, but by the time she did, it would be too late. _


	13. To Be Brave

Here's a quick update!

oh, and the idea for the...uh..._thing_ in the cave was inspired by the review given by **TopKat90**. Thanks for that, TopKat90, and I hope that you're happy with it!

hope you guys like it, and I'm so so so so very sorry for those of you who look forward to Sara's Journal Entries...don't worry! there will definitely be one next chapter, and i hope for them to be in at least every other chapter from now on.

Please review, and lots and LOTS of love to all of the people who have reviewd/favorited/story alerted so far! You guys are what keep me going, so thanks a bunch!!!!

:D

* * *

I felt my way into the cave that was bathed in pitch-blackness, and I was almost trapped in a strange way, my breath hot and suffocating in the dark space. My heart was beating rapidly, and I slowly inched forward, feeling my way around the corner and into the main space of the cave. I sighed with relief as I saw that the pool was glowing brightly with luminescence – the plants were exuding bright light, which would help me find my way through the water – which lit up the entire cave with its flickering light. I moved forward until I was beside the edge.

The water was a warm aqua-blue color that reminded me of a pool that's lit at night. You know, like that kind of unnatural blue color that you know is artificial?

I paced back and forth, even poking my toe in to see how cold it was. It was a bit colder than before, but still pleasant, and I chewed on my lip nervously, wringing the bola between my fingers, and staring at the water for what seemed like an hour – it was really only a few minutes – before I finally steeled myself and backed up a few steps.

I closed my eyes, and danced forward, diving just as easily as I had this afternoon. The water was cool against my skin, and I opened my eyes but this time instead of admiring the scenery I swam quickly to the entrance, and slipped through the small hole and into the large cavern that was transformed by the night.

Instead of light streaming down from the open spaces above, there were deep cerulean-purple spaces that were oddly shadowed by the bioluminescence in the water, creating a slightly eerie scene as I swam. There were the same glowing markers that I followed, but it wasn't a carefree swim this time. This time I felt a constant prickle in the back of my mind, making me look around me constantly, my eyes missing nothing.

Suddenly, a shadow flickered just beyond the lights, and I froze, my hands clenching into fists as I quickened my pace, trying to relax but finding it impossible. I turned back forward, but then something slimy and scaly brushed against my leg, and I jerked violently, turning to see that I was once more alone.

Fear pumped through me as I looked around, trying to ignore the faint ache in my lungs.

I was not alone in this cavern. And I'm not talking about the pretty little fish I had seen before.

Something large and dangerous was in this place, and if I didn't hurry up I would be on the menu.

I turned to swim and quickened my pace, and this time I could almost hear the water moving around the creature was now on my tail. I chanced a glance backward, and almost fainted right then and there.

There was a huge, scaled shark-like creature with numerous tentacles that waved around its head like a messed up kind of mane. It's eyes were crimson red, with bright white pupils that glowed menacingly, and on its pointed nose were small feelers that floated in unison with the tentacles on its head. Its fins were barbed, and I saw that there was flesh from its last meal still entrapped in them. Its mouth was slightly open, and I saw that – like a shark – there were hundreds of rows of teeth, all sharp and lethal-looking. The water seemed to grow colder as it swam slowly behind me, and I quickened my pace, only to find that it quickened its pace as well.

Terrifying was _such_ an understatement when it came to this thing…and I've seen some pretty terrifying things here on Pandora.

I turned and swam as fast as I could, and screamed when I felt one of its nose-feelers on my leg, and kicked out with my foot, managing a smile when I felt it recoil in pain. My years of studying animal biology were kicking in, and I quietly reviewed what I had observed so far.

The eyes weren't moving and hadn't been following me when I looked back, so I assumed that this creature was blind, and/or extremely sensitive to sunlight. Those feelers must be sensors…picking up movement and water currents produced from fleeing creatures…_that_ would explain why it had also quickened its pace when I had tried to swim faster.

I stopped suddenly, and saw that there was a rock wall to my right, and pressed myself against it, pressing my lips tightly together to prevent the precious amount of air from being released from my lungs. I made myself as still as possible, watching with a pounding heart as the creature slowed slightly, turning its nose every which way to try and find me again. Its mouth opened in frustration, and I felt my stomach turn at the sight of those ghastly teeth.

If I stayed perfectly still, the creature would soon become bored and hopefully swim away in search of other prey.

I could only hope.

I almost cried in relief when a few seconds later the creature turned and swam back the way that it had come, sinking into the darker depths of the water until it was lost from sight. I quickly searched for the hole that would lead me to the surface, and saw that it was a few hundred feet away. I looked around and saw that the creature wasn't in sight, and pushed off towards the hole.

Something suddenly collided with me, so hard that the breath that I had been holding was pushed from my lungs in a flurry of bubbles. I saw that the shark-like creature was swiping at me with his fins, and I choked on the water as I kicked violently, and felt its eye under my foot. It shrieked, and I saw that I had pushed its eye so far into its eye socket that it was bleeding. I swam away as quickly as possible, frantically as my vision started blurring from lack of air, and found the hole.

I pushed off from one of the stones lining the hole and heaved myself out onto the cool stone floor of the cave that led to the nesting place, and rolled over onto my stomach, coughing violently and shuddering from the cool breeze that flowed across my soaked form.

I was alive. Thank _God_.

My chest ached as choked laughter filled the cave, and I looked back at the water, my laughter almost hysterical in a way. Adrenaline was still pumping through me, left over from my little brush with death, and I barely had the energy to stand up after that.

I leaned against the wall, seeing that it was still night outside. The only way out of the cave was through the entrance up to the cliff, and that was narrow enough so that banshees couldn't get through. I was safe…for the moment.

My eyes closed gratefully, and I let myself slip into well-earned sleep. When I woke up, I would complete the iknimaya. I didn't give a damn whether what I was doing was against the rules or not.

Because I did _not_ just escape a painful and slow death by Pandoran shark – or whatever the hell that thing was – to have someone tell me that I couldn't become a warrior.

* * *

Thankfully, I didn't dream, and it seemed like a second later that the cave was filled with the dimmed light that was exuded just before the sun rose, maybe half an hour away from sunrise or so.

I opened my eyes, and looked around to see that I was still alone. I stood quickly, rubbing my eyes and yawning loudly and stretching my back with a groan.

This was it.

I silently made my way to the entrance, and ignored the tightness of my legs as I ascended onto the cliff. The air was salty and made my eyes water, and the wind blew my braids around my face, making me shiver.

The banshees were already awake, but much more subdued and quiet then they had been yesterday, leaving a huge area in the center of the nest empty. I slowly stepped down, and they all rustled anxiously, readying themselves.

I was not going to be shy this time.

I leapt forward, yelling angrily, and saw some of them shrink back, their screams filling the air.

"C'mon!" I roared, swinging my bola around violently, scanning the group for one that…felt _right_. The air was buffeted against my back and legs, and I saw that the sun was soon to being visible, the sky filled with streaks of dusky gold and ivory.

I moved forward, my ears flickering in annoyance, as the feeling of rightness didn't come as the minutes passed.

Then…I heard it.

The deep hum of a banshee about to attack.

I whirled around, and found myself face to face with my banshee. _My_ banshee.

It was that dark aqua-blue one from before, the one that had flown off of the cliff in response to Kinak's approach, the one with a long white line down its and wing. I saw that one of its eyes was gold, but the other was an eerie white color, the eye that had a white line slashing through it. But both of the eyes followed me with perfect precision, so the white eye was not sightless, the white line instead being a kind of birthmark that in turn affected the color of the eye. I felt my heart pounding in excitement as I stared my banshee down.

I swung my bola slowly, never breaking eye contact.

But just as I was about to strike, a familiar voice cried.

"Sara!"

I turned to see Kinak leaping off of his banshee, his golden eyes wide and shocked.

But that lapse in concentration nearly cost me my life.

Great timing Kinak…it's a _fantastic _idea to distract me while I'm in the middle of a fight with a pissed off banshee.

The banshee behind me struck, and I felt a blinding pain in my leg, making me scream. The banshee's teeth were digging into my thigh, creating thick slashes of blood and pain, and I slammed my fist against its jaw, making it flinch back, screeching its fury. I got to my feet, ignoring the throbbing of my bleeding thigh, and took advantage of the creature's pain to swing my weapon around its jaw, feeling a surge of pride when it wrapped tightly around the jaw, shutting its mouth and preventing it from snapping at me.

I leapt onto its back, and held on tightly despite the fact that it was thrashing violently and its wings were inches away from slashing my arms. I grabbed on of the antenna and grabbed my braid, and shoved the two together.

I felt my mind go blank as the tsahaylu was made for the first time, and I felt my arms loosening as I struggled to keep my eyes open. It was a blinding range of emotion and color that was exploding before my eyes, and I whispered softly, my voice cracking.

"Stop…stop…" The banshee slowly fell silent, its labored breathing filling my thoughts as – in a small portion of my mind – I felt the muscles of the banshee shift to right itself, with me on its back. The sun broke over the horizon, warming my skin with its heat.

I didn't look up at Kinak, instead doing what I had seen all of those trainees do, putting my feet on the two hard bones that jutted just above the breathing holes, and yelled.

"_Fly_!"

I was almost thrown off as the banshee responded immediately, and lurched forward in a rush to fly off of the cliff. I felt almost weightless as I fell, and gripped the antennae tightly in my hands, leaning so I was flat against the banshee's neck, feeling a giddy laugh of exhilaration leave my lips, lost in the wind as we dove towards the water.

I was free.

It was the best feeling in the world, and I felt myself grinning wildly.

Our wings were slicing through the air, our lungs filled with the cool ocean air, our hearts beating in unison. It was like being in two bodies at once, our emotions becoming one.

I felt the banshee's elation in flight, but it was marred by the fact that my leg was still bleeding hopelessly, and I felt a little light-headed. I quickly righted us so we were level with the glassy surface of the ocean, and we banked upward once more, so that we were above forests again after a moment.

My leg was definitely hurting now, and I tried pressing on the wound to stop the blood flow, but it only made it hurt more, and I felt my concentration slipping as the pain pulsed in waves.

I saw Kinak flying close by, and the pain was forgotten for a moment as I watched him fly, a huge grin on his face as he dove in front of me, his tail flicking my banshee's nose playfully.

I laughed, and dove after him, following his high-pitched cry of challenge as he wove around the larger trees that were nearly as high as Hometree, laughing as my thoughts jumbled and resulted in my banshee almost slamming into one of the larger branches. I quickly pulled out of the tree, and soared upward, my lips turning up in a huge grin as the wind whipped through my hair. I directed my banshee over the tree, searching for Kinak through the branches. He was nearing the edge of the branches, and I positioned myself so I was right above him, and dove downward.

I waited until I was close, and then dropped down on top of him, shrieking in triumph at the shock on his face as he quickly flew downward to escape me. I laughed, pulling up so I was level again, but then a wave of dizziness overwhelmed me for a moment, and I slumped over my banshee's neck, my strength suddenly beyond my reach. I heart the lethargic pounding of my heart, the deep ringing of my ears.

I looked up to see Kinak flying close by, watching me with confused eyes.

I called out, my voice weak and indistinct. "Kinak, my leg–"

But it was then that my vision went black, and I felt myself falling into unconsciousness. The connection with my banshee was broken, and I was devastatingly alone in my thoughts, alone with my pain, alone with the darkness.

Falling_…_falling_…falling…_

But then suddenly, a pair of rock hard arms caught me, and that jarred me from complete unconsciousness, making me open my eyes to see a familiar face staring straight ahead, his arms holding me tightly against a well muscled chest.

Kinak.

I didn't have the energy to be embarrassed at the closeness of our semi-embrace.

I instead focused on his heartbeat against my ear, the deep rhythm that allowed me to stay awake as we flew. I didn't speak, and neither did he, and the silence was almost peaceful as the sun slowly rose higher and higher over the horizon of the ocean.

The strangest feeling came over me as we flew…a contentment that was tinged with a strong and powerful sense of pride. I was a warrior, and nothing would ever change that. My banshee flew close by, and I longed to make the bond again, to feel the wind rushing beneath its wings and the weightlessness of diving towards the earth.

But my head was spinning hopelessly, and I managed to lift my head up slightly in order to see it better. What I was met with made my head spin even more, and I quickly looked away. Kinak looked down at me with expressionless eyes.

"You were–"

I scoffed, and looked up at him with a weak glare. "And idiot? A moron for going through the caves alone?" I sighed, and looked over at my banshee. "I know."

I didn't need him to rub it in my face that I would be dead if he hadn't caught me, and I was grateful when he went silent.

But then he spoke quietly. "You were very brave, Sara."

I blinked, and looked up at him in shock.

"What did–"

But Kinak chose that moment to begin his rapid decent, and what I was going to say was swept aside as the pain in my leg soared to new heights, and I gritted my teeth as Kinak's hand accidentally brushed against it.

But even I couldn't keep the smile off of my face as the Hometree of the Tipani came into view.

Kinak had just called me brave.

If _he _was telling me that, then it must be true.

Kinak looked down in confusion at the wide grin that spread across my face.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly, and I laughed quietly, leaning my head boldly against his shoulder, breathing in the musky scent that sent shivers down my spine.

"Oh, nothing."


	14. Pleasant Surprise

Hey! Sorry for the long update...school's being...well, school's just being school, let's put it that way.

Hope you guys enjoy it! It's short...i'm sorry...

**ALSO:** I put up a poll for what Sara' should name her ikran, and I'd really appreciate if you all could just go to my profile and pick which name you like the best! I'm just doing this to see which one people like, it's still going to be MY decision, but i want to see what you guys think. It's on my profile, so PLEASE check it out!

oh, and please review.

Thanks!

* * *

_Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _Tipani Clan Hometree

_Date:_ January 7, 2155

***

_Entry 9_

_ Wow, it feels like it's been forever since I've written…though when I look back on the date of my last entry, I realize that it's only been a week. _

_ So much has happened since then. _

_ Now, I'm sure that you're dying to know exactly what has happened since my last entry, and since I have nothing better to do than to just sit here – I'll explain why that is in a minute – I'll fill you in. _

_ The first time that I went up to the banshee nesting place, I didn't bond with a banshee, because all of them flew away at the sight of me – I can be such a charmer sometimes – and I was left alone on the cliff. It was the worst feeling of my life, something that I wouldn't wish upon anyone, _even_ someone who deserves it. _

_ And so I, being the extremely thoughtless and risky person that I am, waited until no one was watching, and stole away from the celebration, riding back to the cave that led to the nesting place – I wont go into details…just imagine having to swim though an underwater cavern at night, and having to fight off a bloodthirsty shark with tentacles and barbed fins. Not exactly an experience that I wanted to repeat. _

_ After that, I reached the nesting place, and I'm pleased to say that I finally bonded with my banshee. I still have to come up with a name…I don't know what to name him – and please don't ask me how I know that my banshee is male…it's not something I can really _explain_, it's just a feeling that's a result of the bond we share now. _

_ I'm happy that I bonded with my banshee, but there was just one small setback. _

_Bleeding, painful setbacks on my left thigh. _

_While fighting with my banshee, I had lost focus and the banshee had managed to get his teeth into me for a moment, creating four long gashes with his sharp fangs. They weren't very deep, but they still had required stitches, which Lielu had done soon after Kinak carried me down. _

_I had been ordered by Lielu to stay in bed for four days in order to let the wounds heal…and today was the day that I finally got to walk again. I am so, so, _so_ excited! _

_But…there is something rather odd about how no one seemed surprised to hear that I had gone off on my own. In fact, the only ones who showed concern for my well-being were Lielu and Kina– uh, I mean; Lielu and _Tanhì_. _

_Tanhì had barely left my side for the entire time I was in bed, and Lielu could only convince her to go hunting once a day, usually in the morning before I woke up. She was still growing rapidly, about half the size of a direhorse. It was slightly frightening. _

_Sänume hadn't even gotten mad when she met Kinak and I at the banshee perch in Hometree. She just told me that it was dangerous for me to go on my own like that, and that I should refrain from such acts in the future. Then she looked over at my banshee and smiled. _

"_Your ikran suits you, Sara." _

_And then she walked off without another word. _

_I was just a bit surprised. _

_I've been surprised a _lot_ lately, now that I think about it. I mean, I don't even know what to say to Kinak after that little episode of friendliness that felt so wrong and yet so _right_, and even though it stings a bit, I'm almost glad that he's been avoiding me for the past week. I need some time to think _without_ losing my train of thought every time he looks at me…or when he laughs that quiet little laugh that no one hears except for me…_

_Wait, that came out wrong! What I'm _trying_ to say is that…uh…_

_Oh, damn it all to hell...I'm officially changing the subject._

Click_– _

_Alright, _anyway_, Lielu told me that it's traditional for the new hunters to go on a full day trek in order to bring back enough food to fill the storage bin for the upcoming rainy season, which would be the final test for young hunters to pass in order to become full members of the clan. Oh joy. _

_It's not for at least two days, and for that I was grateful. I wanted more time to just…_relax_ for a while. The stressful, life-threatening part was over. _

_I'm going to end it here, because I'm itching to finally go and ride my banshee _without _a bleeding wound in my leg. I have a feeling that without _that_, I'll be able to enjoy it a lot more. _

_Oh, I still have to name my banshee…and I have absolutely _no_ idea what to name him. _

_Lielu said that I should wait a while before deciding on a name, so I have more time to really _bond_ with him. She said that she waited at least a month before coming up with a name for her banshee, and that she didn't really have to think about it…it just came to her one day. _

_ It reminded me of the name I chose for that little thanator cub I found nearly three months ago. _

_ I hadn't really thought about it, it just came to me in a rush, and I knew in an instant that that was her name. Nothing else would do. _

_ Max, if you're reading this, I'd _love_ some help with the whole name thing, and if you have any ideas please let me know. I miss you a lot, I miss everyone. I'm going to visit as soon as this warrior stuff dies down. _

_I promise. _

_End of Entry 9_

* * *

I sighed, closing the laptop and slipping it back into its thickly padded case, looking up at Tanhì, who had padded over while I was typing. She was even larger than before now, and when she stood beside the direhorses she was nearly the same size, just a few feet shorter at the shoulder.

Yikes.

I smiled up at her from my position in the bed, and reached up to scratch under her jaw, giggling as she growled in delight, leaning into my hand. I pulled away, much to her displeasure, and slowly got to my feet, wincing at the twinge in my leg. It hurt a bit, but it wasn't nearly as painful as it had been in the beginning.

I examined my leg curiously, which was finally free of the woven bandages. There were four dull red, mostly healed gashes the length of my outstretched hand across my thigh. Lielu told me that they would scar when the scabs fell off. Oh well.

I slowly put more weight on my leg, and was pleased to find that it was manageable. I slowly shuffled forward, Tanhì inches away, walking with me as her amber eyes watched my every movement with unnerving vigilance.

"Sara, you're up!" I turned to see Lielu with a small child – she couldn't be more than five or six – in her arms, her smile wide as she saw me walking. I nodded, and smiled at the small girl who was cradled in the slender arms of my friend. The children of the Na'vi fascinated me; I had never had an opportunity to really interact with them while with the RDA. They were so different from the often mysterious and reserved adults that I was used to seeing. Well, as I spent more time with the Tipani, I found that a good portion of them – more than I had expected – were just as bubbly and cheerful as some of my college friends back at home on Earth. They did this while _still_ retaining that mask of secrecy.

I must seem like such a child to them, seeing as I didn't have a mysterious bone in my body.

Sad, isn't it?

I noticed that the little girl was crying, her large golden eyes swimming with tears and her full lips trembling as she buried her face into Lielu's shoulder. I looked up at my friend in confusion, and Lielu smiled, rubbing the girl's back comfortingly.

"Aela hurt her tail, because she was trying to pet Tanhì, but her sister pushed her out of the way." Lielu murmured in English, and I nodded, examining the tail in question as gently as I could. I saw a little bruise near the tip, and touched the girl's shoulder.

"Aela?" The girl reluctantly looked over at me. I spoke in Na'vi, ignoring the looks I was getting from passerby. "I have a sister too, and you know what?" The girl shook her head. I smiled, patting her head. "When I was about your age, she used to push me too, when we both wanted to hold our baby brother but only one of us could. So one day, when my sister wasn't looking, I smeared mud all over her hair."

Aela's eyes widened, and she leaned away from Lielu's shoulder. "Really?"

"Yes." I said, laughing a bit at the memory.

Aela squirmed to get out of Lielu's arms, and reached for me with tiny hands. I positioned her so she was on my hip, nodding to Lielu as she gave me a grateful smile while moving away to do her chores. I moved so I was sitting on the stage that held the skull of the leonopteryx, sitting with her in my lap.

The girl wiped her eyes hurriedly, and looked up at me. "Didn't your mother punish you?"

I grimaced at the memory of my mother's rage. Ouch.

"Yes. But what I'm trying to say is that sometimes you have to learn to accept that sometimes, people aren't going to be especially nice. You're going to have to be patient, and you'll find that it's often more rewarding to wait rather than to force someone to listen to you."

The girl looked down at her hands, her eyes solemn. "But she still got to pet Tanhì, and I didn't…"

I smiled, hugging her for a moment. "Oh? Let's see what we can do about that." I said, setting her down on the ground and leading her outside into the warm sunlight. Her little braids bounced on her small head as she walked beside me, her little hand holding mine.

I stopped when we were near the trees, and whistled loudly. Tanhì slowly trotted out of Hometree, her large jaws opening in a lazy yawn. She growled in greeting, rubbing up against my waist with her head. Aela squealed in delight, and I laughed.

"Now, let's see. Your sister got to _pet _Tanhì, but you get to _ride_ Tanhì."

I scooped the girl up and placed her on Tanhì's back, and the girl laughed and giggled as I slowly walked with Tanhì around the small area in front of the entrance to Hometree.

"Hold onto the small pieces of bone, right here." I gently placed her hand on the two hard pieces of bone that jutted out just behind her head, and the girl nodded, and grasped them tightly.

I quickly walked in front of Tanhì, who quickened her pace to a smooth trot as she chased – if you could even call it that – me around the clearing. The girl on her back shrieked and squealed in excitement as she bounced up and down, and I looked back with a smile as I saw that any trace of tears on Aela's face had vanished.

I sighed, staring out at the lush green forest that was so vibrant and full of life.

The Tipani Clan moved about, speaking in low voices, laughing, and singing as they darted through the brush on their direhorses. Children ran around, trying to act like warriors with their tiny bows and blunted arrows that couldn't break the skin. Women and men alike were preserving meat and vegetables, their hands moving rapidly in a rhythm only gained by years of experience, while older, more somber children watched with interest, learning the skills that they would need when they became adults. A few teenage girls were whispering and giggling together by the stairway, their eyes alight with joy and laughter. One of them flipped her hair back as a young male warrior walked by, and the other two smiling knowingly when the boy flushed and quickened his pace. The men standing by the direhorses were murmuring in congratulations as they arranged that day's hunting and foraging party, one of the men beaming proudly as he relayed the news: his mate was pregnant with their first child.

The sun was warm on my skin, and I smiled as I looked at Hometree, seeing a few banshee riders dive off of the upper branches and soar effortlessly through the sky.

For the moment, all was well with the world.

* * *

I swung upward onto the thick branch that led outside to where the banshees were currently perched. I couldn't see them, but I could hear the rustling of their wings, the croons and shrieks as they moved about. My bow and quiver of arrows was strapped to my back, and the knife that Lielu gave me as a present for completing the iknimaya hung at my waist.

Now…the only problem was…how was I going to call my banshee?

I frowned, staring into the branches.

Hm.

This was a problem. I couldn't really call him by name, because I didn't have a name yet. I couldn't whistle, because I doubt that my banshee understands that sort of signal…

I frowned, and tried doing what I had seen Lielu do lots of times. I felt a bit silly, but since no one was around, I tried it.

It's that high pitched chirp-like sound that Na'vi people can produce at the back of their throats. Humans can imitate it to some extent, but their vocal chords aren't as complex as they are in the Na'vi, they lack the animalistic features that I now possess.

I did it twice, and waited anxiously as the banshees in the tree rustled even more, and I could see the glittering of their hides between the branches. Did it work? Would my banshee come?

Suddenly, my banshee burst through the leaves, his golden and white eyes flashing, and landed in front of me with a roar. I sighed in relief, and moved forward to tentatively stroke his neck.

"Hey..." I murmured. The beast crooned, and I smiled widely, watching with delight as the creature moved one of his antennas towards me in preparation for tsahaylu. I slowly made the bond, and had to lean against the banshee for support as the feeling overwhelmed me as much as it had the first time. It was so much more complex than it was with a direhorse…so different.

Emotions and enhanced senses flooded my brain without warning, and a shivering feeling trailed through my skin as my mind linked with the banshee's. Our hearts beat in unison, our lungs filled with air, our muscles shifted to support our weight. I could hear the thoughts of the banshee, and although they weren't in words, I could see images and feel its emotions.

It was terrifying. And incredible in a way that was slowly becoming known to me as the days passed.

I quickly mounted, feeling it shift and flap in preparation for the dive, and I found that the long drop didn't frighten me in the slightest. I leaned forward, whispering my command and thinking it as specifically as possible.

"Dive!"

I gripped tightly as my banshee dove off of the branch, its wings angling toward its body as it dove towards the earth. I leveled after a few seconds of free-falling, and soared upwards.

I felt the sensation of the wind under the banshee's wings, and I laughed in sheer delight at the freedom of flight…here above the forest with nothing but the clouds and tiny bird-like creatures that dared to fly close enough for me to touch them. My banshee wanted to eat them, but I sternly repressed the thought, and my banshee conceded with what I interpreted to be a disappointed sigh.

I was actually doing pretty well; it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be.

The wind whipped at my face as I banked left, turning in a slow circle above Hometree, my long braids flowing behind me. I grinned as I felt the exhilaration of being so high up.

I wove back and forth, getting used to directing the banshee with my thoughts, and finding out how much the banshee understood. It was interesting how much the banshee comprehended, and I made a mental note to ask Lielu about it.

The hours passed, and when I finally turned back towards Hometree, it was late afternoon. I was about to make my decent when I saw a speck in the distance. It was large, and brightly colored. There was a smaller speck beside it, and I paused, staring in confusion.

Wait a minute…

I gasped as the specks came into focus, and my banshee flew forward without any conscious direction from me, sensing my shock and excitement and responding to it.

There were two banshees. One of them was large and red, but it was slowly angling down towards the entrance of Hometree, so I didn't get a chance to confirm who its rider was. But the smaller banshee's rider continued towards me, and a grin spread across my face as the distance between us grew smaller and smaller. Only one person in all of Pandora could have that nerdy look, those concerned eyes, that awkward smile that was spreading across his face as he recognized me.

"Norm!"


	15. Explanations

Phew...I'm done. I could've made this chapter longer, but I know that you guys are dying to know exactly what happens with the whole Kinak/Norm thing, so here you guys go!

hope you like it, and please review!

**NOTE: **OH! and the name of Sara's ikran is going to be revealed in the next chapter, so if you havent voted on which name you like best, go to my profile page and be sure to pick the one you like!

Thanks!

* * *

Since neither of us could fully greet each other while on a banshee, I led the way down to the banshee perch below, and jumped off before my banshee came to a complete stop, reaching out to swing up onto the branch, crouched with my legs stretched out to absorb the impact. I waited with a twitching tail for Norm to come to a stop.

My banshee butted his nose against my arm in farewell, and dove over the side of the branch once more to go hunting. I sighed as I saw his beautiful blue hide gleaming in the sun, with the single white stripe that ran down his side and wing.

Norm was much less graceful than I had been, and somehow ended up on his backside as his dark green and gold banshee flew up with a squawk to find a vacant space in the branches. He was blushing furiously, his wide-set golden eyes filled with embarrassment as he stared up at me, probably comparing my dismount to his less than flawless one.

Who gives a damn? It was _Norm_, my best friend. And he was really here, not just a figment of my thoughts, thoughts that had missed him terribly. He was right in front of me, my friend…my friend that I hadn't thought I would see again so soon.

He was still the same quirky Norm I was used to, only his body was more toned now, more hardened towards life on Pandora. His eyes were calmer, and I could see that he was just as changed as I was, just as changed as Jake had been all those months ago.

I didn't even give him time to get up, instead throwing myself at him.

"Norm! Oh my God, I'm so happy you came!" I squealed, squeezing him tightly. I felt a warm glow of contentment when Norm's arms came around to gently hug me back. All the homesickness melted as I heard his deep breathing, felt his steady heartbeat against my chest.

But suddenly, a shout interrupted our reunion, and I turned to see Lielu standing by the nearest branch, her eyes widening as she saw Norm and I embracing. I frowned.

Why was she looking at me like that? Like I was…doing something I shouldn't be doing?

Lielu shook her head, and spoke quietly. "Jakesully and his mate wish to see you, Sara. They're waiting outside."

I nodded, and Lielu looked at Norm once more before turning to melt into the leaves. I was too ecstatic to feel any concern for Lielu's sad expression, too happy to think about anything besides the fact that my friends had come to see me.

I pulled Norm to his feet, and took his hand as we ran down the branches towards the main floor. I saw something flicker in the shadows of the larger branch next to the space in the tree, but I didn't stop to wonder what it was, too excited about seeing Norm and Jake again after all these months.

"How's it been for you, Norm? Was training okay? Is Jake the new leader? Or is Neytiri? How–"

Norm smiled that familiar crooked smile, wincing as his foot caught clumsily on a root. "Slow down! I'll tell you everything later, okay?"

"Promise?"

"Yeah."

I smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. The air was cool against my skin as we darted down toward the ground, and I felt a surge of pride as I found that I was able to maneuver through the branches easily, with no hesitation.

The entire clan was grouped outside, greeting the brave and famous Jakesully and his mate, who were smiling politely at everyone. Jake was still the same; ruggedly handsome, grinning the same over-confident grin as he whispered something in Neytiri's ear. Neytiri was the same as well; flawlessly beautiful, proud and fierce as she stood next to the man she loved. I felt a sting of envy, but quickly pushed it aside as I made my way towards the crowd. Jake's banshee was huge and overwhelming in the background, and I saw many children fidgeting by their mothers' sides, itching to touch it. I laughed, and focused on Jake and Neytiri once more.

I saw one of the little boys trot up to Neytiri to shyly hand her a beautiful white flower. Neytiri smiled, and tucked it into her hair, giving the boy a gentle pat on the head.

I couldn't see Tanhì anywhere, which was odd, but I pushed it out of my mind as I made my way through the crowd. I pushed my hair behind my ears, and managed to make my way to the front after a few moments. Neytiri saw me first, and gave me a formal nod. I saw her lips move, and I watched as she mouthed the greeting.

_I see you. _

I smiled, and mouthed the greeting back to her, feeling a bit touched at the affectionate smile that crossed her lips as I did so.

Jake was less subtle, and as I walked forward with Norm he strode purposely towards us. The grass waved under his feet with the breeze, and I grinned as my friend made his way towards me. He even had his arms outstretched in preparation to hug me. Heh, if I didn't know better, it would almost look like he was moving in to attack me or something…

But, I suddenly felt a tingling in the back of my head, an uneasy feeling that made me want to tell Jake to stop.

Suddenly, I heard a deafening growl to my right, and saw Tanhì jump from the rock behind Jake and Neytiri to land right in front of him, her spines rising in warning and her lips turning back to reveal her lethal fangs. Her amber eyes flared angrily, and her claws were unsheathed in preparation to attack. There were screams of astonishment from the crowd behind us, and I saw some of the mothers scoop up their children in fearful concern. The children's eyes became as large as dinner plates as they saw the playful creature they had grown to love transform into a dangerous killer in a matter of seconds.

Like a mother with her child, I couldn't even _begin_ to see my Tanhì in that light. She was my baby, my little star who I loved with every bone in my body.

Everything happened very fast then, and I saw Neytiri put an arrow on her bow so fast that I almost missed it. Jake stopped, and was staring at Tanhì with wide, shocked eyes. I ran forward, and yanked my arm out of Norm's.

Neytiri pulled back her arrow, and I quickly threw my sheathed knife at the arrow so she was forced to drop her arrow, her eyes wide in surprise at my attempt to stop her from shooting the seemingly treacherous predator that was preparing to pounce at Jake.

All three of my friends shouted.

"Sara, _no_!"

I almost laughed at their concern, and whirled around so I was facing Tanhì, whose spines flattened hurriedly as I made the "stop" motion.

"Stop, Tanhì!"

Tanhì sank to the ground with a whimper, her tail tucked between her legs as she stared up at me. I knelt beside her and put an arm around her neck to make sure she didn't attack again, and looked at my friends, whose eyes were so wide that they were close to falling out.

Shocked, frightened, confused.

All of those are such _complete_ understatements of the emotions that Jake, Norm, and Neytiri were probably feeling right now.

I waited until Tanhì had calmed down before standing up once more, and moved forward to hug Jake, who was frozen in astonishment.

"Nice to see you too, Jake." I murmured, and Jake slowly responded, hugging me tightly for a moment before releasing me and putting his hands on my shoulders, his intense golden eyes boring into me, searching, and pondering.

"I know this is going to sound like such a cliché…but you, my friend, have a _lot_ of explaining to do."

I smirked, punching Jake on the arm and linking arms with him and Norm, both on either side of me, and leading them back into Hometree. Tanhì followed close behind me, growling in wary acceptance as she sniffed Jake and Norm hesitantly.

"Don't I always?"

Norm and I laughed, Jake rolling his eyes while reaching back to link arms with Neytiri as well. We were one chain, a chain of friends now reunited after so long, and I felt as though my heart would burst with happiness.

* * *

_Kinak moved quickly upward toward the ikran perch after seeing Jakesully's ikran making its way towards the entrance of Hometree. That must mean that Sara is probably making her way to the ikran perch in order to see them. He wanted to maybe ask…perhaps later…they could fly together…maybe…_

_The young man sighed in defeat at his jumbled emotions, pausing by one of the larger branches that grew out just before the gap that led to the banshee perches, leaning against the warm wood. _

_When he was growing up, he had always been so sure of himself. Becoming a strong and fierce warrior was all that he wanted. Sure, he had his few childhood friends, and his sister knew him better than anyone else, having cared for him when their mother died when he was only twelve. _

_But his goal of becoming a worthy warrior was something that bled into everything he did, and he couldn't afford to feel emotions that would hold him back. _

_What now? He had become a warrior…what now? _

_He was so unaccustomed to the feeling of uncertainty; he was used to being the best at everything, because he wanted it more than anyone else out there. _

_A noise brought him back to reality, and he looked out to see Sara riding her ikran towards the large branch, and something unfamiliar surged through his chest as she broke the bond and jumped towards one of the smaller branches, flipping gracefully to land almost silently on the branch, just feet from him. His eyes moved down her body, seeing the gentle curve of her spine, the slow waving of her tail, the smooth skin that was marred only by the four long gashes on her thigh. Her braids, longer than the braids of women he knew, hung around her shoulders and almost went to her lower back, tied with delicately carved, brightly colored beads._

_Kinak turned so his back was pressed against the branch, his heart pounding for a reason that avoided him no matter how hard he tried to figure out why. It was just _Sara_…so why was he acting like a fumbling child? _

_Kinak steeled himself, but jerked in surprise when he heard her voice cry out in happiness. _

"_Norm! Oh my God, I'm so happy you came!" _

_Kinak's ear twitched as he peered through the foliage, only to hiss softly in shock. _

_Sara…she was being embracing by a strange Na'vi warrior, one that was vaguely familiar but whose name he had never learned. The other man was holding her tightly, with such familiarity that it made Kinak's fists clench in restrained fury. _

_But then…why was he angry to begin with? _

_Kinak slowly unclenched his fist, and pressed himself into the leaves when he saw his older sister racing up towards him, and met eyes with her briefly before she too witnessed the intimate scene before them, and she called Sara's name before she could restrain herself. _

_The young man watched with something churning in his gut as Lielu told Sara of Jakesully's request that she come down and meet them. Sara nodded, and Lielu turned to leave, her eyes staring at Kinak with a deep sympathy in their golden depths. Kinak hissed at her, and she vanished, leaving him to watch from the shadows as Sara darted into view, holding the hand of the stranger, who was smiling at her as if she was the only thing in the world. _

_Why was that? _

_Sara wasn't extraordinarily beautiful, but she did have something that was unique to her alone. It was a sort of…vulnerability to her that made one immediately want to hold her close, want to shield her from the world. A light in her eyes, those eyes that held the innocence and clarity that one might expect in a child, and also held the wisdom and intelligence that one can only gain through years of experience. She was strong in a way that wasn't expressed through physical feats…it was instead the strength of her heart, her ability to love unconditionally. _

_Kinak watched as they disappeared from view, and couldn't find the will to move from that spot beside the branch, his eyes lowering to stare at his hands in disgust. _

_Why was he even thinking these things? It wasn't like Sara was _important_ or anything. She was a liability to the clan…and yet she was also a necessity. _

_A necessity for_ you_, a voice whispered in his mind, and he snarled angrily, smashing his fist against the wood in a blind fury. Kinak slowly slid down so he was sitting, putting his head in his hands. _

_He was a fool for even imagining that…perhaps…she would ever see _him_ like…_

_Kinak didn't even _know _what he was trying to say, and that made it all the more painful to think about the way that other man had held her… almost desperately, like he never wanted to let her go. _

_The young warrior got to his feet, and, without pausing to look back where Sara had disappeared, headed out to call to his ikran. He was stronger than this…he didn't need to waste time thinking about useless women like Sara when there were so many more acceptable women in his clan. _

_Women that were more beautiful, less emotional and annoying. Women that weren't unpredictable…didn't take dangerous risks just to prove a point. There were so many others that would be much more eligible for his affections. _

_But…one thing kept that from being true. _

_Yes, those women may be perfect in every way, but they would never be _Sara_._

_They would never smile at him quite like Sara did; they would never have the same eyes that unveiled every doubt, every joy, and every surge of anger for everyone to see. No one would surprise him quite like she did, no one would have the audacity to gently push back his hair…no one, not even his sister, would ever make physical contact with him like that, not in that strange, deeper way that only humans expressed not through tsahaylu, but through small actions and looks that relayed so much more than words ever could. Kinak's people were just as passionate, but they were more subtle about it, saving the embraces and showing of affection for when they had complete privacy. Even then…it was so very different. _

_In that moment, it solidified in his mind, a fact so painful and so true that it almost tore Kinak apart. _

_Sara was the one he wanted, and also the one that would always be just beyond his reach. _

_Kinak leaned against his ikran, who was butting his shoulder impatiently, and made the bond automatically. He jumped onto the creature's back, and the two of them soared away without a backward glance._

_Kinak swore to himself, that his…feelings for Sara were nothing more than a blind attraction, it was all just because she was unusual and new to him, an exotic difference from the women he was used to seeing. _

_Her voice, the happiest it had been in months, echoed in his mind. _

"Norm! Oh my God, I'm so happy you came!"

_His hands tightened uncontrollably, and he forced himself to push those horrible feelings of jealousy aside. Kinak knew that there was nothing…nothing at all. _

_There couldn't ever – no, _wouldn't _ever – be anything between them, and to have imagined that anything more could be achieved was the cruelest trick of all. It was even crueler because for a brief moment in time, he had been sure that she had feelings for him as well, when she stared into his eyes in those seconds before ascending up to the ikran nesting place. _

_But it was so clear now that he had been imagining things, and yet he still couldn't curb the urge to pummel that other Na'vi warrior into the ground. _

* * *

Jake, Norm, Neytiri and I all sat down around the fire, telling our tales as the meat cooked on the fire, and I forced myself to ignore the delicious smells as we talked.

Jake and Neytiri were glad to announce that the Omaticaya Clan was thriving in their new Hometree, and that the people were slowly healing from the trauma that the RDA had inflicted on their hearts and on the Tree of Voices, and that the forest was healing as well, almost back to the way it had been before the battle. I was glad, and hoped that someday the battle with the RDA would be something that was only remembered through the songs and stories of the Na'vi, a mere shadow of a memory.

Norm had become a warrior only two weeks ago, and when I inquired on how his training went, he shuddered. He told me of the young woman made to train him, and how awful she was to him. Am I psychic or _what_? I smirked at Jake, who suppressed a smile and focused on Norm once more.

The Omaticaya were immensely grateful to Max and the others chosen to remain on Pandora for their help and support, but they couldn't completely trust humans after the horrors the RDA had inflicted on their people. That wariness resulted in less people attending the school Norm and Max ran, but more people were attending now that time had passed, the children finding it a fun game to be able to speak a language that their parents couldn't.

After a time, Neytiri turned to me with a frown.

"Sara, now you must tell us what has happened since you arrived here. Taming a palulukan without tsahaylu…is something I have never heard of and I'm sure that it has never been done, even before the time of the First Songs."

Jake nodded, and grinned. "I was pretty surprised to see that thing ready to attack me. I mean; you remember how I ran away from one of those?"

I grinned. "And Tanhì isn't even full grown yet…"

Norm blinked, leaning forward in confusion. "Wait, you've _named_ it?"

I scowled, crossing my arms indignantly. "Tanhì is not an _it_! _She_ was orphaned when Kinak killed her mother, who was trying to kill me, about three months ago. I couldn't leave her to die, and so I kept her. I don't see what's so difficult about this." I shrugged, and Neytiri's eyes were deep in thought.

Jake sighed. "Sara, you don't understand, the thanator is considered to be a being of evil, its name literally meaning _bringer of fear_. The Na'vi doesn't actively hunt them down, because they're large enough to easily kill a fully grown warrior. This Kinak guy was foolish to do what he did, because if he had only wounded the thanator, you both would be dead. To see that you've tamed one is a huge shock, and I'm surprised that the Tipani Clan leader even let you keep one, even if it was a baby when you found it."

Norm nodded, slowly lifting the meat off the fire and handing it to everyone. I wasn't particularly hungry, so I gave my piece to Tanhì, who had hunted earlier in the morning, and considered the meat for a moment before snapping it up lazily.

I sighed, gently petting the head of Tanhì, who padded over so she was sitting close beside me, almost protectively in a way. Neytiri watched my movements with cautious eyes, and I smiled at her.

"You guys, Tanhì isn't dangerous! Sure, she can get a bit rough sometimes, and I know that if she wanted, she could seriously hurt me. But…she wouldn't. I'm like her mother, I'm all she knows. If you want to think of it as a wolf pack," Neytiri looked puzzled, but Jake and Norm nodded in understanding as I continued. "living among people of the Na'vi is all she's used to. If I was in danger, or Lielu or Kinak even, I have no doubt that she'd instinctively feel protective and want to attack, but as long as I'm there to stop her, it's perfectly safe."

Neytiri spoke for the first time in minutes. "What if you aren't around? Then what?"

"Tanhì obeys Lielu and Kinak almost as meticulously as she obeys me. If I'm her mother, than they are like her aunt and uncle, both having authority."

Neytiri nodded, and Jake sighed, leaning back to stare up at the branches of Hometree, his eyes calm and unreadable. Neytiri glanced over at Norm, who was staring at me.

"So, how's the whole leader situation?" I said, more to break the silence than anything. Though I said it as gently as I could, Neytiri's eyes flashed with sorrow, and Jake put a hand on her shoulder before answering.

"One of Eytukan's advisors has stepped up to take his place, seeing as the other chosen successor also perished in the battle." Jake said softly, and Neytiri's fingers clenched into fists.

I bit my lip, murmuring a quiet apology as Neytiri regained control of her emotions. She shook her head to dismiss it, and stood with a swift motion, turning toward the entrance of Hometree, her shoulders tight and tense. Jake sighed, resting his chin in his hands. I patted him on the arm, and he smiled at me.

"She's still grieving, and I can't say I blame her."

I nodded, and Norm glanced around before leaning in to whisper. "I've heard some people talking. What's the 'last test'?"

I groaned, and quickly explained to Norm what it was. Jake leaned in as well, interested.

"We never had to do that, but I suppose it's normal, the Tipani _is_ known to produce the strongest warriors…"

"Huh. I wonder why they wanted _me_ then…" I mused, and Jake and Norm both snorted in amusement.

"Yeah," Norm chuckled. "back at the Station, you could barely lift a box of root samples, let alone a microscope!"

Norm started laughing hysterically, and Jake and I looked at each other in defeat.

Look up some of Norm's "jokes", and you'll find the definition: _created by those who spend way too much time in a lab with nothing but samples and reports. _

I heard footsteps behind us, and jumped when I saw Sänume literally materialize behind me, her hands resting on my shoulders, and a small smile of welcome on her calm face.

Jake greeted her formally, and Norm hastened to do the same. Sänume looked at Norm for a moment, and addressed Jake once more.

"Jakesully, is this one of your new warriors?"

"Yes, Sänume, it is. His name is Norm."

Norm bowed his head, and mumbled a greeting, his face bright red with embarrassment. I forced myself not to laugh, and looked up to see Sänume smiling eve more widely.

"I see. If it is not too much to offer, perhaps Norm could also participate in the final test, along with the rest of my new warriors." Her hands squeezed my shoulders gently, as if possessively. Norm's jaw dropped, and Jake grinned evilly.

"Of course, he'll be there. Thank you for the offer, it was most generous." Jake said, and Sänume nodded to him before walking away again.

I was left to stifle my snorts of laughter at Norm's face, which was filled with horror and terror; both intermixed into a hilarious expression.

"Who's the weak one _now_, Norm? Ha!" I leaned against Tanhì as I started laughing, and Jake joined in after a few seconds of holding back.

"You guys, stop laughing at me!" Norm shouted, and that only made me laugh harder.

I could almost imagine us back in the linking room, laughing together over that huge spoonful of wasabi-spiked applesauce that Jake had eaten, and then shoved in Norm's face in retaliation, who had then shoved it in _my _face for coming up with the idea.

Ah…those were good times.

I missed those times, but I was able to forget the longing for the past as I sat there with my friends, laughing and enjoying the friendship that had helped us through everything so far, and would continue to help us, even though we would be apart.


	16. A True Warrior

Sorry for the long update, school is KILLER! also, the name of Sara's ikran wont be revealed for at least two chapters....i cant fit it in right now...

Hope you guys like it, I know its short...sorry, and please review!

* * *

_Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _Tipani Clan Hometree

_Date:_ January 9, 2155

***

_Entry 10_

_ I'm pleased to say that I'm not really nervous for the final test, which was so _unlike _me. _

_ It's probably because I haven't any time or energy to think about over the past two days, seeing as I've been spending every spare moment with Jake and Norm. Mostly Norm, because Jake and Neytiri needed their alone time as well. _

_ Wink wink. Nudge nudge. Oh the joys of being a hopeless sucker for romance…_

_ Being with Norm only makes me more sad, in a way, because I knew that no matter how much I wish for him to stay, he's going to leave with Jake and Neytiri to rejoin the Omaticaya after the final test is over. And I'm left to spend the days without them once more. _

_ It's the strangest thing, no matter how many times I scold her, Tanhì wont stop growling at Norm whenever she's around him, and I cant think of why she's acting this way. _

_ Huh. Speaking of friends of mine who are acting strangely, something is definitely up with Kinak. He's purposely ignoring me, almost like he did in the beginning. If he _does_ speak to me, it's only to give orders, and he quickly walks away after speaking, not even giving me a chance to reply. It's really freaking me out…I almost wish that he was my teacher again, constantly badgering me. _

_Lielu's acting a bit strange as well, not to the extent that Kinak is, but enough for me to notice. She has this almost sad look on her face, as if she's constantly in pain. I ask her about it, but she assures me that nothing is wrong. _

_ Yeah, and my skin _isn't _blue._

_ It's put me on edge, and if it weren't for Norm I would've cornered them both and demanded explanations._

_ Norm is a prime example of what I'm supposed to be feeling right now. A nervous wreck. But he seems to have handled it, seeing as he's reading this over my shoulder without getting nervous all over again. And now he has to leave…and _stop reading the rest of my journal!!!

_***_

_ Okay, I managed to get rid of Norm. Thank god, he was about to read the part about Kinak…wait, why would I not want him to read that? It's not like Norm and I are _together_ or anything…_

_ Oh, speaking of couples, Lielu and O'tak have been sneaking away quite often lately, though I know that they aren't mates quite yet. I suppose that Jake and Neytiri were an exception in how quickly they chose to be mates, because in the Tipani Clan, it's a much longer process, similar to how human's date for a few years before getting married. _

_ I have to look away when I see them sitting with their heads close together as they whisper, because I sometimes can't resist the urge to jump up and down in excitement. It's just so amazingly adorable…I can't keep myself in check. _

_ It makes me wonder, though…will I ever have a mate?_

_ What Na'vi warrior would ever be interested in a…in a faketuan like me?_

_ An outsider like me. _

_End of Entry 10_

* * *

I quickly closed the laptop, forcing back the lump that rose in my throat. I didn't even know why I should feel sad…I mean, I had Norm, Jake, Neytiri, Tanhì, _and_ Lielu. Why should I feel sad?

Except the fact that I left one name out of the list, and that hurt more than anything.

Running a hand through my hair, I leaned my head on my knees, and closed my eyes in an effort not to think about why that particular name was absent, and how much I wished that I could add that name back to the list.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked up to see Norm, grinning hesitantly at me.

"Sara, are you okay? You look sad…" Norm said, peering into my face. I forced myself to smile, and kissed him on the cheek, ignoring the purple-ish blush that warmed his face even before my lips touched his skin.

"Thanks for asking Norm, but I'm fine. Let's go, I think that the other warriors are leaving soon, and we need to pack."

"O-Okay…" Norm muttered, quickly jumping down the branches and nearly tripping down the stairs. I followed more slowly, too used to Norm's weirdness to really wonder what was wrong with him.

I met Tanhì at the bottom of the stairs, and rubbed around her ears as she butted her head against my stomach, a rumbling growl of contentment vibrating through my body.

I saw Sänume approaching me out of the corner of my eye, and quickly turned to greet her.

"Sänume, _I see you_."

She nodded, and returned the greeting. "Sara, _I see you_."

Sänume glanced at Tanhì, and turned to stare at me with those large, lemur-like eyes that all the Na'vi possessed, but only Sänume's eyes made me feel as if I was not a human in an Avatar body, but instead a true member of the Tipani Clan.

"Sara, are you thinking of taking the palulukan with you on the hunting trip?'

I blinked. "Um…no, actually, I hadn't thought about it at all."

"I believe that you should. She is large enough now to hold her own against any other animals that may attack, and will prove to be an asset in hunting larger prey. Take her, but I expect you to bring back your share, understood?"

I nodded, and she grasped my shoulder for a moment, and then she was gone, striding toward the stage to speak quietly with some of the elders that were gathered there. I looked at Tanhì, who was still rubbing herself against me. She really was _huge_…I had just been blind to how dangerous and helpful she could be.

I grinned, and moved to join the group of warriors that had passed the iknimaya. I looked for _him_ unconsciously, and with I jolt of surprise I saw him talking with one of the young women who had been made warriors along with us, both of them smiling staring at each other. Something cold and hard dropped in my stomach, and my hands clenched into fists before I could stop myself. I was about to turn away when I felt Norm step in beside me, his eyes glancing around nervously. Like me, he had his bow strapped to his back, along with two quivers of arrows. I fingered the knife on my waist as the girl touched his arm.

"Sara…Sara…_Sara_!" Norm's voice jolted me out back into reality, and I turned to look at him.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah…I'm just a bit…distracted." The last word I practically snarled, and I smiled apologetically at Norm, who didn't seem convinced, but let it go.

Sänume stood on the podium, and her voice rang throughout Hometree. The crowd immediately quieted, and hundred of pairs of golden eyes watched Sänume unblinkingly.

"Today begins the seven day journey that our new warriors must make!"

The crowd cheered, and Sänume grinned broadly.

"They will travel as one group, each hunting their share, so the clan will be prepared for the rainy season that will soon be upon us. The warriors will go far into the forests, bringing back meat at random intervals. Clan members are not allowed to speak to, listen to, or even acknowledge the warriors when they return briefly to deposit their meat. They will be invisible to the clan until the seventh day has passed, and then a feast will solidify their new positions as warriors! Go now, and return on the seventh day. May Eywa be with you!"

The group of warriors whooped and shouted, and we all ran outside to mount the numerous direhorses that waited patiently. I leapt onto one, making tsahaylu and looking back at Hometree for a moment. It was huge and comforting, the warm glow of fires and the murmuring of voices filling me up like a drink. It was my home…more my home than the RDA station had been.

The air was cool as the sun broke over the horizon, and I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes for a moment.

_I'll make you proud_, I thought, and turned to follow Norm, who was already racing after the others. I motioned Tanhì to follow me, and she quickly complied, her amber eyes glinting with excitement.

--------------

We traveled far into the forest, so far that when I looked back; Hometree was the size of my pinkie finger…which was weird because I had come to imagine that no matter where I went, Hometree would always be towering above me.

It was so different now, and I felt a pang of unease as I turned around once more, and gripped with my legs as my direhorse struggled up the rocky expanse of the hill, his breathing deep and labored in my ears and in my chest.

When we reached the top, I patted his neck gently, and moved down the gradually slopping side of the hill, breaking into a gallop once more as we reached the trees.

Norm was in front of me, and I almost laughed at how awkward he looked, bouncing around everywhere like a child. Obviously he had had much more trouble learning than I had, which made me puff my chest out a little.

Kind of ironic, no?

I mean, Norm was the one who was so eager to become one with The People, and here he was still struggling in his learning. I was the one who had some doubts, the one who was still, to an extent, afraid of the Na'vi and what they stood for.

And here I am.

I sighed, and urged my mount faster to ride alongside Norm, and reached over to slap his leg down, which was flying all over the place.

"Norm, grip more with your knees, not with your ankles. And keep your elbows in, like this." I moved his arms so he was mimicking my stance, and his face went blank with surprise as he stopped bouncing around, and instead was able to lead the direhorse with more confidence.

I smiled, remembering when Lielu taught me how to ride. It was probably as much of a source for entertainment for her as it was a lesson for me. It wasn't nearly as simple as riding my banshee had been, which was weird because normally I didn't like being that high in the air.

Speaking of banshees, they were currently following us in the air, one for each warrior. I felt a warm glow when I looked up to find that my banshee was directly above me, following me with unnerving precision. When we reached the trees once more, he was lost from sight, but I knew that he was there, flying above us.

I still didn't know what to name him. What a bother.

When we stopped to set up our permanent camp, we were a few hours ride from Hometree, deep in the forest, and we picketed our direhorses and took a break to eat and talk before deciding hunting patterns.

I learned that Norm had named his banshee _Tompa_, which means _rain_ in the language of the Na'vi. It was so awesome to see him and his banshee interact; it was like two bickering siblings, opposites and yet harmonious all the same. His banshee always tried to knock him over, and wouldn't make the bond if Norm was in any way irritated. Watching Norm try to convince it to let him ride was the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

I sighed, taking a drink from the waterbag that was beside the root I was sitting on, and Norm's ears perked up at the sound of rustling leaves towards the southern end of camp. I looked over there as well, but relaxed after recognizing the rumbling growl that came from that spot.

"Calm down, Norm, it's just Tanhì."

"Tanhì…doesn't that mean _star_?"

"Yeah." I said, standing up and brushing off my legs, heading over to the rustling brush, whistling for Tanhì. She bounded out of the leaves, and almost knocked me over. I laughed, and rubbed my forehead against hers, resulting a rumbling growl of greeting from her.

I heard murmuring behind me, and turned to see one of the older boys stepping up to speak.

"We should begin hunting immediately, and set up shifts for who takes meat back to Kelutral." There were agreements all around, and I looked over at Norm, who swallowed nervously.

The boy continued. "We will return to camp by nightfall, because that is when palulukan hunt." I frowned, and glanced at Tanhì, who was nearly full grown, and an idea sprung into my mind. I was about to speak, when Kinak said loudly.

"We must hunt during the night as well, that is when most prey are less alert."

The boy sighed. "That is true. Then we will send groups during the night as well, but–"

I spoke up. "I would be willing to send Tanhì with the night groups, just in case. She's large enough to hold her own with any predators." Everyone turned to stare at me, and I flushed, staring at my feet.

"Yes…that would be extremely beneficial. But you must accompany them as well, for the palulukan obeys you alone." I nodded, biting my lip to stop myself from informing the group of another Na'vi present whom Tanhì would also listen to.

Kinak shifted from foot to foot impatiently, and I noticed that Norm was edging away from Tanhì, as she was growling at him.

The boy continued. "Go in groups of two or three, and bring the meat back to camp." He started getting his equipment together, and the rest of us began moving. Norm looked at me with earnest eyes, and I smiled hesitantly.

"Uh…Norm, I think that Tanhì and I–"

Panic flitted across Norm's face, and he began to protest.

I heard Kinak's voice right behind me. "How did he become a warrior if he cannot even hunt on his own?"

I whirled around, almost running into him, and my ears flattened at the scornful smirk that was on his face.

"Hey, just because he's nervous doesn't mean that–"

"It's pathetic to rely on another to always help you. A true warrior never–"

I flared. "Never _what_, Kinak? Never feels fear? Never wonders if they're strong enough?"

Kinak didn't answer, and I could see that he was getting ready to turn his back on me like he had for the past three days.

I snarled, my hands clenching into fists as I stared up into his face. That arrogant, that fierce…that familiar face. I felt anger boiling in my stomach, anger that was even stronger than that first day because I knew that he was better than this. He was hiding something, and if he wasn't going to tell me I was going to let him know how I felt about it, before he ran away.

"Does a _true warrior_ ignore a friend so that she's left wondering what she _did_ to deserve that kind of treatment? Does he make fun of her friend to make himself feel better?" My voice rose as I moved closer, and his eyes narrowed as I got in his face.

I felt the heat that radiated off of him; saw the intense glow of his eyes that made shivers run down my spine despite the anger that pulsed through me.

I meant to sound angry, but my words somehow came out as a whisper.

"Is that what a true warrior does, Kinak? If that's true…then you're on the path to becoming one. Maybe you already _are_ one."

I felt his hands come up to touch my shoulders, but I shook my head, slapping his hands away. He tried to speak, but I hissed harshly, baring my teeth at him as I shoved past him.

"C'mon, Norm. Let's go." I said, hating how my voice broke. I whistled for Tanhì, and touched her head as she followed close beside me, and I held my bow in the other hand, Norm following close behind.

I wanted to talk to Norm as we made our way through the brightly lit forest, but my throat was so tight that I doubt I could've said anything intelligible. My eyes kept smarting, and I blinked rapidly.

Norm's voice spoke hesitantly in the silence.

"Is Kinak…someone important to you?"

I laughed, a choked sound that sounded almost forced from my chest.

"I…don't know anymore."


	17. The Darkness of Light

Here's the next chapter! I feel so bad for Sara...jeez...I'm really putting her through the wringer, arent I?

Oh! For the name of her ikran...the three top votes were _**Swizaw**_, _**Atan**_, and _**Tsawke**_.

Now I can come out and be honest: I actually had the name picked out for Sara's ikran a LONG time ago...but I decided to let you guys vote just to see what names you guys liked. Aren't I just so _sneaky_? Anyway, I hope you guys are pleased with the name I chose (I'll give you a hint, although you'll find out as you read this chapter: It's one of the top three I listed above.) but more importantly I hope you guys like the CHAPTER!

Please review!

:D

* * *

I left Norm after a few minutes, and made my way up into a tree, a better view in order to see prey without them seeing me. I put all of my concentration into my hunt, although this wasn't my first time bringing down prey. It was the only way that I could successfully block out the image of Kinak's face.

I sighed, gripping my bow as the sun beat down through the gaps created by the large canopy above. I crouched on a lower branch, my tail brushing against the rough bark as I watched a large herd of hexapede – the Na'vi called them _yerik_ – graze peacefully below. They were an easy source of meat for the Na'vi, being so delicate and slender, their six legs so easily broken or tangled with a well-aimed rope of sinew and plant fibers. They were quick, though, rarely getting bogged down by the vines, and to hunt them, one would have to be completely silent. Being dark blue in color, they were easy targets, and I watched as a male raised his head as a scent came to him, two large flaps of yellow translucent skin raising to form fan-like structures that had an eye in the center, made to intimidate enemies. I held my breath as the male looked around, and relaxed as he put his head down again, his skin glinting in the sunlight.

To my right, a few hundred feet away from the hexapede, there was a smaller group of sturmbeests – or _talioang_ – their teeth munching noisily on the lower growing shrubs that grew around the roots of the trees around them. They were awkward looking, creatures, somewhat resembling a Terran rhino, and ones that I had never hunted before but had heard them described by Dr. Grace Augustine. They were indigo-orange in color, with stripes that varied with each individual, and had odd-looking front hooves that looked kind of like little acorns. Powerful hind legs propelled them as they moved through the plants in search for food, and there was this horn extension under their chins, which I assumed was for digging up tubers and other plants they ate for food.

I also noticed that the sturmbeests were a lot slower to react than the hexapede, and much larger, which made me slowly lift my bow. I fitted an arrow into the string, and took a deep breath before quickly pulling the string back with two fingers, aiming towards one of the larger males who were straying from the main group. His beady black eyes didn't even glance upward at the movement, and I let my arrow fly.

It hit him solidly in the chest, and he staggered for a moment before falling on his side. The others bellowed loudly, their head swiveling around to search for the invisible enemy. After a moment, they all hurried away, their bellows ringing in my ears for a long time after they were gone. I looked around, and jumped forward to grab a vine that was hanging near the branch, and swung down beside the beast. It was pretty large, and I prepared to end its suffering but found that my arrow had killed it.

I knelt beside the sturmbeests, and slowly removed my arrow, running my fingers over the bloody wound.

"_Oel ngati kameie, ma Tsmukan, ulte ngaru seiyi ireiyo. Ngari hu Eywa saleu tìrea, tokx 'ì'awn slu Na'viyä hapxì._" I whispered, closing my eyes and touching the wound for a moment longer.

_I see you, Brother, and thank you. Your spirit goes with Eywa; your body stays behind to become part of the People._

I had said the words so many times that it was almost second nature. The ritual was very melodic…almost like a lullaby used to soothe and comfort.

After finishing the words, I stood up and called for Norm, who came out of the brush with a slender hexapede over his shoulder. I motioned him over, and his eyes widened at the size of the sturmbeest.

"Can you help me? I think that we can both lift this, if we each grab an end."

Norm nodded shifting the animal on his back to a more comfortable position before kneeling down to grasp the animal's large shoulders.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Norm and I were flying on our banshees, and were playing tag in the higher branches of the tree. I laughed as I dodged him, diving up behind a tree, and Norm growled in frustration.

"You can't catch me!" I giggled, and he swiped out with a hand, his fingertips inches from my leg, but then we were forced to part as a large tree trunk separated us. I breathed deeply, keeping an eye out for Norm as I leaned forward a bit, tilting so my banshee and I softly glided around the large girth of the tree.

"Gotcha!" I looked up with a shriek of surprise, and only just managed to get out of the way of Norm's outstretched fingers.

I jumped off of my banshee onto one of the larger branches, and my banshee settled beside me as Norm and his banshee flew in spirals around the trees. I rubbed my banshee's head, and he crooned as he nuzzled my side.

A large beam of light pierced the canopy, and fell on us, lighting up the white line that ran down my banshee's eye and wing, making it almost glow. It was breathtaking, and I blinked as the name came to me.

It wasn't something planned, I just knew that in that moment that I had found the name for my banshee.

"Atan…" I murmured, and made the bond for a moment, saying the name over and over so the banshee would recognize it when I called. It shivered slightly as the bond was made, and its golden eye stared at me unblinkingly, the white eye gazing just as intently.

_Light_.

Suddenly, I saw something large and dark leap out at Norm as he and his banshee passed, and I yelled when I saw that it was Tanhì.

No…wait…Tanhì was back at the camp…where I had left her. She would never attack anyone, especially not Norm.

I screamed, and leapt onto Atan's back as I realized that the thanator that was attacking Norm wasn't Tanhì, but a wild thanator that I had no control over. The eyes were not a gentle amber, instead a bloodthirsty crimson that were as cruel as its claws that were currently digging into Norm's skin. No, no, no, _no_!!!

I pulled out my arrows, and strung one as soon as possible, watching with a racing heart as Norm's banshee and he screamed as they tried to fight the huge predator off. My chest clenched painfully, and I dove downward.

"_Norm_!" I yelled, and let my arrow go, swooping in to get close enough. My arrow hit the thanator's neck, and a gurgle was emitted from its throat as it pushed itself off, of the falling pair. Norm was scratched and bleeding, and his banshee was cut and bloody as well, but they managed to right themselves and collapse onto the nearest branch. I saw the thanator grip a branch, and I shrieked as I saw it preparing for another attack. I disconnected from Atan and leapt onto the back of the thanator, stabbing downward with my knife, feeling adrenaline pump through me as the creature tried to claw me, scrabbling around with its lethal claws and whipping its tail around angrily.

I had to keep it from getting Norm. I didn't even think of _my_ safety…I couldn't afford to think of myself when someone precious was in danger.

It leapt to the ground, and I held on for dear life as it jerked around in an attempt to dislodge me from its back, and I closed my eyes, stabbing downward with all my strength. Something warm trickled between my fingers, and I didn't look to see what it was.

The thanator screamed, and I forced my eyes open as it suddenly jolted forward, yowling in pain and fear as my knife sunk into its flesh again and again. My vision blurred as we raced at speeds I didn't want to imagine, and I screamed in fierce challenge as I stabbed into the throat again, causing the thanator to convulse with pain. It kept running, and I didn't know which direction we were going, or how many times I would have to stab it before it would die.

I felt the powerful muscles flexing and releasing as it ran, and I felt panic rush through me as I realized that if I didn't stop, I wouldn't be able to find my way back to camp.

I grabbed its ears, and yanked it back so the animal stopped, and stared up at me. Its eyes were glowing with pain and anger at being unable to get rid of me, and I lifted my knife.

Those crimson eyes, for a split second, became deep amber, and for a split moment, as I swung my knife downward, I saw Tanhì, her eyes so beautiful and sad…so innocent.

My knife struck between its eyes.

Blood spurted onto my face and neck, and I was flung sideways as the thanator screamed one last time, its spine flexing in a jerking motion.

I hit the nearest tree with a terrible thud, though thankfully nothing broke as I fell on the dirt, my shoulders shaking and my hands clenching my knife with all my strength. I covered my ears to block out the screams of the dying thanator, and hunched over in misery when I found that the creature's cries were just as loud as before, piercing me, _accusing_ me.

_Why?!_

After a time, I hesitantly opened my eyes, and looked up to see that the beast was still, its body limp with the stillness of death.

I had killed it.

I looked at the blood that covered my hands, and I started shaking.

Would I have to do the same thing to Tanhì…someday? Would that wild predator in her force me to do the same thing I had done to the thanator? Would I be able to make the right decision…even if it was my Tanhì…my _baby_?

I felt tears welling up, and all the stress of Kinak ignoring me, the pain of him mocking Norm and acting like he barely knew me, the idea of Tanhì dying, the loneliness of being so alone in the Tipani clan…it all broke inside me.

I let the tears come, and there was nothing around but the corpse of the thanator, and the sounds of my sobs that echoed in the seemingly empty forest.

* * *

_Neytiri stood on one of the highest branches of Hometree, a wide one that was somewhat separate from the rest; her large golden eyes staring out into the forest with a sense of calm that was ruined by the fact that her hands were clenched and her shoulders tense. _

_Jake moved up behind her, not even bothering to see if she noticed him, slipping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. The young woman looked back to see her mate smiling lazily at her, his eyes bright in the dusky gold sun that was close to disappearing under the dark horizon. _

_Neytiri let herself sink into him, her eyes closing as she reveled in the love that threatened to overwhelm her as she stood there in Jake's embrace. It was hard to imagine her life _before_ Jake…how empty it must've been. Well, not _empty _exactly…more of a gap that she hadn't known existed before that moment in the training field. _

_The Omaticaya princess remembered the moment with perfect clarity. It had been early morning, and Neytiri had woken up with the strangest feeling, almost irritation, and almost happiness. When she watched Jake pull back the string of a bow, his eyes calm and concentrated, his arms so strong and firm…she didn't know what to think. A deep instinct that had been instilled in her since birth told her that she shouldn't be thinking these thoughts, but a stronger instinct told her something different and completely unknown to her. _

_Neytiri remembered leaning in, closer than she had ever come before, their bodies almost touching. Her fingers had come automatically to touch, almost caress, his forearm as she leaned in. She felt the heat of his skin, her senses being filled with the scent that was so uniquely _Jake_…it was intoxicating in a way that she was ashamed to admit. _

_She felt his eyes on her, and looked up to find Jake staring at her, and for a moment his eyes glowed with something that sent shivers down her spine. Neytiri had quickly backed away, trying to control her raging emotions. _

_Jake's deep voice pulled her from her memories, and she felt the vibrations of his throat against the skin of her shoulder. _

"_It's only been half a day…and yet I still have the worst feeling that Sara's gotten into some kind of trouble." _

_Neytiri frowned, and turned in her mate's arms so she could look him in the eye. _

"_All warriors get into trouble sometimes, Jake." _

_Jake smiled at her slightly disgruntled tone, so subtle that only he, who knew her inside and out, could detect it. He kissed her slowly on the lips, and after a moment she relaxed and reached up to trace his jaw with her fingers, her eyes closing as his arms tightened around her waist. _

_After a moment or so, she pulled away, much to his disappointment. _

"_You are not concerned for Norm and the other warriors?" _

"_Oh, don't worry, I'm worried about them too. But you don't know Sara like I do…" Jake sighed, a frown creasing his brow as he stared out into the forest. _

"_What is it that worries you, my Jake?" Neytiri murmured, hugging him gently and resting her head on his shoulder. _

_Jake bit his lip, and forced a smile on his face. "Nothing. I just worry a lot…it's nothing important." _

"_Jake…" _

"_It's nothing I want you to worry about." _

"…"

_Jake laughed at her skeptical silence, and knew even without looking at her face that she was scowling. Neytiri hated when he kept things from her, and she waited for a moment longer before pulling away and smiling at him, kissing him before moving away toward the hammocks. Jake watched her go, and felt his heartbeat quicken as her tail seductively waved back and forth, beckoning him. _

_Jake made to follow her, but something tingled at the back of his head, and he turned to stare out into the forest once more, his eyes darkening as he frowned. _

_If there was one thing he knew without a doubt, it was that Sara Mason was a magnet for danger. One minute she'd be laughing and running, the next she'd be locked in a life or death struggle with the closest thing that was even _remotely_ threatening._

_It worried him, and Jake found it hard to restrain himself from jumping on his banshee and tracking her down. _

_He _wanted_ to believe that she was safe with the others, laughing with Norm and not straying off on her own. _

_But he knew better, and that shocked him and horrified him at the same time. _

* * *

_Kinak strode into the clearing, his golden eyes dark and irritated as he deposited his kill into the pile along with the others, nodding to the group of young men who were beginning to skin and prepare the meat. He knelt to help them, taking out his knife, when a cry was heard above them, and they all looked up in wary confusion. _

_An ikran was struggling to fly downward, blood dripping down its wing and stomach, and it took Kinak a moment to see that a warrior was on its back, slumped over and unmoving. _

_The creature landed heavily, and the rider struggled to get to his feet, but fell over in the dirt before he could get his feet on the ground. His body was covered in scratched and bite marks, and Kinak's breath was pushed from his chest when he recognized the rider. _

_It was that…that warrior that Sara was so fond of. _

_Norm. _

_Kinak's eyes scanned the area, waiting for Sara to swoop out of the trees in pursuit…but as the seconds passed his searching became more and more frantic. They had gone out together…why was Norm the only one back?!_

_Kinak ran forward to where the others were helping Norm into a sitting position, one of the boys already wrapping his wounds. The warrior grabbed Norm's shoulders and shook them, almost shouting. _

"_Where is she?" _

_Norm's eyes were glassy, and his face was desolate. Kinak's breath froze in his chest as the young man looked down at his hands, which were spotted with blood from his numerous cuts. _

"_I…I…" Norm whispered, his voice so weak and pitiful that Kinak wanted to scream. _

"_Where _is _she?" _

"_We were flying…and a thanator attacked me." The warriors around them began murmuring in surprise, but Kinak couldn't care less. He growled, his ears flattening as Norm's eyes closed in sorrow._

"_Sara shot the thanator, and my banshee and I managed to get to a branch. But the thanator wasn't dead, and it was about to attack me again when she…she jumped on its back. It distracted it enough, and she stabbed it with her knife."_

_Kinak's heart pounded frantically in his chest. He could almost see Sara now, her eyes blazing with defiance as she stabbed the palulukan, her hands gripping the knife so tightly that her knuckles were pale. _

_Norm went on, his eyes still closed. _

"_The thanator ran away…and Sara held on. I couldn't follow them; my banshee was already injured as it was. I hoped that she had gotten away and come back here…but…" _

_Kinak backed away, his eyes wide. _

_Sara…was…_gone_. _

_ The warriors looked at him sympathetically as he shook his head, and he saw the finality in their eyes. They knew as well as he did…that Sara had probably been killed by the palulukan._

_ Time seemed to slow in his mind, and the breath in his lungs seemed almost bitter, suffocating. He couldn't breathe, his chest was constricted. _

_ Every moment with her was forced into his brain as he stood there, every insult, every smile, and every laugh. Her fierce and gentle eyes that made him feel as if…as if…_

Is that what a true warrior does, Kinak?

_ Kinak was running before he could stop himself, and he ignored the shouts behind him. They weren't important. Nothing else was important. _

_Kinak's eyes narrowed, and he leapt onto one of the pa'li without hesitation, making the bond simultaneously, his legs gripping tightly as the creature bounded into the forest. He met the eyes of Tanhì, and she immediately bounded beside him, her eyes glowing and intense in the fading light. The very first glow of the plants was visible, and it illuminated her lean, ghost-like form as she ran in front of him, her spines glistening in the light. _

Please…don't give up on me, Sara, _Kinak thought, leaning forward as his pa'li leapt over a log, and his hair blew behind him as he urged his mount to go even faster. _

_The sun seemed to sigh, shedding off the last of its light before completely disappearing behind the horizon, its light slowly dying and deepening into the shadows of night. _


	18. First Sight

Hey everyone! sorry for the shortness of this chapter, and the annoyingly long update (it's school...i have so much work...uugggghhh...).

ALSO: I have a new story out, **Spirited Away: A Dragon's Promise**, and I'm getting pretty discouraged that no one is reading and reviewing. So if you guys like Spirited Away, PLEASE take a peek and tell me what you think! If you havent seen Spirited Away and are reading this with no clue what the heck I'm talking about, go see the freaking movie...it's AMAZING! Almost as amazing as Avatar was...ALMOST...

Enjoy, and please review!

* * *

I stopped crying after a while, and by that time the forest was aglow with bioluminescence, making pretty patterns on the surrounding plants. The air was cool, but not unpleasantly so, and I leaned against the tree trunk, staring into the limitless branches of the trees around me.

I didn't know why these things always seemed to happen to me, but they did, and that was the end of it. I was the unluckiest person in the world…that much was certain.

Yet…I was the one who was chosen to become part of the Avatar program six years ago, I was the one who Sänume wanted to be a part of her clan. I was the one who befriended and raised a tiny thanator cub. I was the one who had the worst luck, and yet had the best luck at the same time. Does that mean that my luck is kind of in the neutral zone or something?

My arms and legs were scratched and bleeding from the branches that had whipped me while I was on the back of the thanator, but other than that I wasn't hurt badly at all. Which was again, shocking, because I usually ended up with the worst possible injuries. I stood up slowly, taking deep breaths and keeping a close eye on my surroundings. Just because I had driven off one thanator didn't mean that I would be able to do the same thing twice. I would need to keep to the higher branches of trees, where thanators and viperwolves – also known as _nantang _– were less inclined to travel.

I was even more afraid of meeting viperwolves, because unlike the thanator, they traveled in large, lethal packs. They were slightly more visible in the bioluminescence that shone from the plants, but other than that they were literally a part of the darkness, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

If I had been the same scared Sara Mason that was shipped to the RDA station six years ago, I think I would've crumpled to the ground and started crying again.

But that side of we was gone now. I had said goodbye to her nearly four months ago. The Sara Mason that resided within me now was a different person. A different person altogether.

I stood and ran lightly towards the nearest tree, jumping up to grab one of the small bumps in the rough bark, swinging myself upwards until I was on a lower branch. My thoughts weren't scared or hysterical, instead possessing a calm tranquility that was surprising even to myself. My legs were stretched out to balance me as I began scaling the large trunk, my tail held outward for balance. All of this was so instinctive that the actions seemed natural, second nature in a way that I can't explain.

I reached the top branches, and luckily they were close enough together to allow me to leap from branch to branch without too much difficulty. But the problem was…which direction did I take?

I looked around in hopelessness, hoping for a sign of a fire, a flicker of life that wasn't set out to kill me in the depths of the leaves.

But there was nothing, nothing except the pulsing glow of the flowers and shrubs that grew in the trunk of the tree. The thick moss under my feet glowed as I shifted my weight, and I sighed as I closed my eyes. I felt pretty silly, but I couldn't help praying to the first thing that came to my mind.

_Please…help me Eywa…_

There was silence for a moment, and then something soft and clear fill the air around me, a song so breathtakingly beautiful that I opened my eyes hurriedly to find the source.

It was those things…what were they? They were the jellyfish creatures that I had seen before, and there were so many of them that I had trouble counting them. They were coming from everywhere, like they had appeared out of thin air.

They were floating down to surround me, and they brushed against my arms and legs, sending jolts of energy down my spine and along my tail. Their feelers were brushing against my skin like tiny little tendrils of electricity.

I felt a thrumming in the air, like the deep beating of a drum. It came from within my chest, soothing and comforting me. I touched one of them lightly and it floated to it perched on my outstretched finger.

_Follow me_.

I nearly screamed as the word echoed in my mind. It wasn't fear at hearing a word spoken in my head without my knowledge that scared me…it was the voice that I heard saying it.

Dr. Grace Augustine's voice faded away slowly, and I was left with tears in my eyes.

"Wait, Dr. Grace–!"

But the creatures were drifting away, all except for one. It remained on my finger, and it moved forward, and then stopped.

Beckoning me.

_Follow me, Sara Mason_.

I scrambled to run after the creature – it moved surprisingly fast – my heart racing as the moss beneath me pulsed and glowed in tempo with my racing feet.

Dr. Grace Augustine had died; I had seen her dead body before it was buried in the roots of the Omaticaya Tree of Souls. There was no way that she could be alive, no chance that I would ever hear her voice.

At least…that was what I had told myself.

She had died, and yet I knew without a doubt that it had been her voice just now, the voice that had told me to follow. I _had_ to follow; I had to give in to the small part of my heart that was aching to see my teacher once more. The part of me that stubbornly fought against the cold hard facts of reality.

I jumped onto one of the smaller branches, leaping forward without fear, falling towards the forest floor. The creature was falling too, and I reached out to grab a branch that hung closer to the forest floor, flipping myself outward and onto on of the other roots that rose high above the rest. I looked back.

How did I–

But the creature was moving again, and I didn't have time to wonder how exactly I did what I just did. It was strange…for a moment; I had almost felt joy, the fearless exhilaration of falling and swinging from tree to tree. I wasn't supposed to feel that way…I was supposed to be–

But I couldn't finish that thought.

Because I didn't know what I was supposed to be…not anymore.

The glowing creature slowed down after a while, and I was starting to feel the sting of my cuts even more, whenever the leaves that ringed my path brushed against my legs fire seemed to lash in my skin. But the thought of stopping never once entered my mind. I had to follow this thing…I had to hear Dr. Augustine's voice again.

The forest was glowing brightly – it would be many hours before dawn – and I looked around me warily as I walked, confusion filling me when I saw nothing, even after all this time. What was going on? I heard nothing, saw nothing…even the air seemed to have the empty smell that made my hands clench into fists.

What was this place?

The air was tingling with some kind of energy that was so immense that for a moment I felt the instinctive message to run, to get as far away as I could.

But there was something else as well. Something soothing and comforting that drew me closer, made my body relax without me even realizing it.

There was a curtain-like screen of leaves, and I felt my heart pound as I gently pushed them aside. What I saw before me made me shout, and almost fall to my knees.

It was the tree. The tree that had haunted my dreams…the tree under which I said goodbye to my human self. It was the place that I had brushed off as just a dream…just a figment of my imagination.

But this wasn't a dream – I pinched myself quickly to make sure. Yep, definitely not a dream – and the tree still stood there. The pool of water was as calm as it had been in my mind, and the creature didn't hesitate as it landed lightly on the surface of the water, skimming across to join the glowing lights that surrounded the tree.

I was afraid. I stood on the shore, staring at the tree while nervously biting my lip. Something was wrong…something was terribly wrong. But what?

Something caught my eye, and I saw a figure kneeling by the water, with something in its hands. I saw something glint metallically, the gleam of golden eyes.

It was staring at me, and it was smiling, a cruel, vicious smile that made me take a step back. Its mouth opened to reveal pearly white teeth, and it lowered the metal object to the water. It was about to open it when I heard something crashing through the brush.

A roar filled the air, and I almost cried when I recognized the sound of my baby Tanhì growling as she barreled through foliage. The figure jumped to its feet, the metal thing still in its hands, and before I could call out to it, it vanished into the forest without a sound.

I ran towards the distant sounds of my baby, and felt joy almost overwhelm me when I saw her leap down from the root and race towards me. She was alone, it seemed, which was strange. But I couldn't think about it for very long, as she pushed me to the ground when she reached me and began frantically licking me from head to toe.

Normally I would've been grossed out, but I was too happy to even consider scolding her. I was sure that I was going to die when I leapt on that thanator; I had accepted it without a second thought. To be able to hug Tanhì and talk to her…it made me so grateful that I had somehow survived.

I pushed her off, and hugged her tightly.

"You came for me…my baby, my baby…" I whispered, rubbing my forehead against hers. She growled in contentment and licked my hands comfortingly.

But then, something moved behind us, and I turned around.

It was a direhorse and its rider, and for a moment the glow from the tree behind us sent the rider into shadow, I couldn't see his or her face. The direhorse remained motionless as the rider dismounted, and I felt tears well up in my eyes.

I knew who this was. No one else had the stiff set to his shoulders; no one else had _quite_ the same gracefulness to his dismount. I didn't care that I was supposed to be mad at him, I didn't care about anything.

He had cared enough to go by himself at night at look for me. He probably had been searching for hours, by the heavy breathing of the direhorse behind him.

I couldn't find the will to move my feet, and watched with wide eyes as he slowly turned to stare at me, his eyes deep and scanning as he hurriedly walked over to where I stood.

I expected a curt scolding, and was shocked to my core when Kinak grabbed my shoulders, and looked at me frantically, almost fearfully.

"Are you hurt? The palulukan, where is it? How–"

I quickly interrupted. "Kinak, I'm fine."

But Kinak wouldn't listen to me. "–he told us that you had jumped on its back, and I thought…I thought…" Kinak went silent, his eyes dark.

He suddenly let his head drop forward, and his forehead was resting against my collarbone, his hands tightly holding my shoulders as he sighed heavily. I blinked, unable to move.

What was he doing?

I didn't know how to respond, I wasn't used to dealing with…with Kinak when he was like this. Was he relieved? Why would he be relieved, unless…unless…

I slowly put my arms around him, and the action felt so foreign – this was _Kinak_ after all…

Kinak didn't recoil, and I squeaked in surprise when he wrapped his wiry arms around me in return, holding me so tightly that it was almost hard to breathe.

He didn't speak, and yet I had the strangest feeling that he had something important to say, something that he kept hidden from me. This was a new side of him that I had never seen before, a strange side that was warm and different, and slightly terrifying to my thoroughly frazzled mind.

What was he hiding?

I was officially having an out of body experience, this must be a dream! A hallucination…something!

But it wasn't.

"It's okay, Kinak. I'm sorry you had to take the time to find me…I–"

But his face suddenly lifted, his face burning with embarrassment and horror. I laughed. He must've just realized how close we were, how if he turned his head, he would be inches away from kissing me.

His lips caught my attention, and I found myself leaning forward, almost instinctively. Inches away, not even that. His head dipped downward, slowly closing the distance. My eyes were closing, heat rushed down my spine in waves as his fingers tightened around my waist, his eyes burning into mine–

A shriek filled the air, and we quickly stepped away from each other, blushing furiously. Atan was diving towards me, and I smiled in delight as he landed a few feet away.

I felt Kinak's eyes boring into the back of my head, and I forced myself to look back at him.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know what I was thinking." I muttered, looking at my feet.

"You are not to blame."

I looked up, but found that Kinak was already mounting his direhorse, and I quickly mounted Atan, making the bond and feeling relieved at the comfort the bond with my banshee gave me. It cleared my thoughts, but not enough.

One statement still rang though my mind.

_Kinak had almost kissed me. _

What was even scarier was the realization that that didn't bother me one bit.


	19. Acceptance

Sorry for the long update (school...its a killer...) and hope you guys like the chapter!

oh, and you romance-addicts better be happy with this, cuz i wasn't going to have...uh...what happens...until later, but i felt that i should get a move on.

Enjoy! and please...please review!!!

:D

* * *

_Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _Tipani Clan Hometree

_Date:_ January 16, 2155

***

_Entry 11_

_We got back to Hometree at sunset, on the seventh day, and the new warriors were given their title in front of all the Tipani Clan. I could give the detailed and boring version of the rest of the week, but none of it really competed with the first night, thank _God_. _

_So let's just leave it at this: I killed a thanator, got stuck in the forest, got rescued, had a weird/anticipated moment with Kinak, saw this weird figure kneeling by the water (I'm almost positive that it was a male Avatar driver, but I wasn't sure. I'd check with Max and Jake to see if any of our Avatars were out that night, because I highly doubt that any Na'vi warrior would have anything man-made with them after the battle with the RDA…) and hunted lots of animals the rest of the week._

_I know…that's a pretty weak description. But hey, if you want a full lengthy report on every single thing I saw and felt, go somewhere else, because you are definitely _not_ getting that from me. _

_Sänume, in her tsahik attire, had stood in front of us, a wicked looking blade in her hand. She had smiled at all of us, her face paint glistening in the firelight that was shed from the torches. _

"_My children, you have now proved beyond a doubt that you are all courageous and proficient as hunters. I know that all of you will serve the Tipani well in the years to come, as we recover from the War of the Skypeople." _

_I stared straight ahead, but could see Jake and Neytiri standing nearby, grinning proudly at Norm and I. We stood side by side on the stage, in a straight line along with the others. There were a few people separating Kinak and I, and though I was aware of where he was at all times, I felt sick to my stomach whenever the thought of talking to him arose in my mind. I could barely look him in the eye after what happened, much less _talk_ to him! _

_Sänume smiled, and suddenly whipped out her hand and grasped me by the elbow, dragging me out in front of the rest. Before I had time to protest, she raised her knife and quickly slashed it across my palm, three times. It formed a triangle of pain on my skin, blood welling up in crimson beads. I hissed and tried to pull my hand away, but her grip was like iron, and she spoke loudly. _

"_Sara, you have not only proved yourself worthy of becoming a warrior, but also a member of the Tipani Clan. You lived with the Skypeople, and yet you have put that heritage aside to become one of The People. Now I must ask you. Do you swear in the name of Eywa to protect your clan with all of your heart? Do you swear to do whatever you must to insure the clan's safety and survival?" _

_I stood there, staring out at the crowd, barely feeling the weight of Sänume's hand on my wrist, barely feeling anything, really. I stared out at the hundreds of faces that looked up at me, their golden eyes so _humane_ – in truth, I don't even know if that word can ever be used the way it has been in the past, not after what happened in the battle between the RDA and the Na'vi. How can we use a word that used "human" to define an ideal way of living, a civilized way of life that is supposedly superior to everything else?_

_There was such a feeling of strength in those eyes, and yet a feeling of vulnerability as well. The pain and suffering of the battle was still with them, even now, the sorrow of losing loved ones still fresh in most of their minds. But they were capable of healing. The joy that resided in the small innocent children helped ease the burden…helped the people realize that life is an endless cycle, an endless path in which things are both given and taken away. The people who are no longer alive never really die; they reside within every person who remembers them. _

_I closed my eyes. _

_I could still feel the warmth of Dr. Grace Augustine's hand on my shoulder when I first linked with my Avatar, the warm glow of excitement and sympathy in her Avatar's large golden eyes as she led me around the training grounds. The sharp blaring of her voice as she came out of the link, just a few moments before she would meet Jake Sully for the first time. Not a second had passed since she lifted the large door upwards to allow her to sit up, and she was shouting for her cigarette, in a way that was so rude and yet so _normal_ that if she had acted any differently I would've been worried for her health. _

_I remembered her, and that meant that she was always with me, always watching…_

_With the Na'vi, this concept was even more pronounced, because they had the Tree of Souls. Their dead were buried there, and their minds were permanently linked with the tree, and by using tsahaylu the voices of those gone from this world could be heard still. Their memories would endure forever. _

_The words left my lips before I could think. _

"_Yes, I do." _

_Sänume nodded, her expression revealing that she was not surprised, and she raised my hand along with hers. _

"_My people, do you approve of this warrior?" _

_I was shocked to hear the resounding cheers that filled the air as Sänume finished her question, the vibrating motion of the ground as the audience pounded their feet against the ground, chanting my name in soft haunting tones as the cheering died down. _

"_Sara…Sara…" _

_My heart pounded as Sänume moved me towards the skull of the _leonopteryx _skull, which was covered in small triangles, all blackened with age. _

"_Sara..Sara..Sara…" The chanting was faster now, and louder. _

_I realized now that those triangles were blood, a question that had always puzzled me whenever I examined it. My fingers pressed against the cool bone, and I felt the strangest feeling go through me as I held my hand there, letting my blood soak into the skull. _

_After a moment, I pulled away, seeing the fresh red triangle there on the pale white bone, and Sänume stepped away, leaving me to face the people. _

"_SaraSaraSaraSara…" _

_I raised my hand, and something foreign urged me to make that same noise that was used to call my banshee, and I felt myself grinning as the sound was issued from my throat, a fierce and piercing call that echoed throughout the chamber. It was lost in the shout that arose when I lifted my hand. _

"_SARA!!!" _

_I stepped back as Sänume raised her hand for silence, my heart still pounding and my breath coming fast as I stared at the mark on my palm. It would scar, that much I was certain, for the wound was deep. But I didn't care. _

_What I had just witnessed was magical, and from it I took away a feeling that I would never forget. _

_The feeling of hope…and the feeling that I belonged here, in the Hometree of the Tipani. _

_I had never felt that way before, not even in the RDA Station, where I lived for six long years of my life. _

_But now…now I know that the path I have chosen is the right one. I belong here, on Pandora, with the Na'vi people. How do I know, one might ask? _

_To tell you the truth, I still don't understand what exactly led me to agree to becoming one with The People. It's just that…after seeing those creatures, it almost seemed as though I no longer had a choice. That something outside my control was urging me forward. _

_Maybe it is something that will never be completely clear to me._

_But, you know, I think I'm okay with that. There are some things in life that should be kept secret. _

_I think the reason for choosing my path is an excellent example of that. _

_End of Entry 11_

* * *

I lightly jumped off of the main branch, and fell almost soundlessly towards the stairs, bending my knees slightly to absorb the impact as I made my way down the smoothed pieces of jutting wood that spiraled around a thick trunk. I looked at my hand; it had stopped bleeding now, and was showing the hints of scabbing around the edges. I sighed, tucking a few stray braids behind my ear, and adjusting the bow that hung across my shoulder. I was thinking of going flying, but I wanted to make sure Tanhì ate before I went.

I almost started laughing out loud when I saw her.

My baby was stretched out on her side, snoring lightly as three kids lay on top of her, also asleep. Their little faces were smooth, completely trusting and unaware of the destructive power that their oversized mattress could wield if she wished. They were warm and glowing in the small patch of sun, and I backed away back towards the stairs, smiling at a mother who was staring in quiet contentment at the scene.

If that's not the cutest sight in the world, then I don't know what's cute anymore.

I giggled as I darted back up to the higher branches of Hometree, and I felt a pang of sadness when I saw that Norm's hammock was, as it had been when I woke up, empty.

The three of them had to get back to their clan, and I had said my goodbyes last night after the celebration. It wasn't easier to say goodbye this time, but I managed to do it without breaking down and crying.

I had waved for what felt like hours as I saw them taking off on their banshees, barely visible in the dark night, and had seen a faint outline of a figure waving back as they disappeared into the darkness. But I couldn't see who it was, and by that time they were already gone, disappeared over the ridge of the trees around Hometree.

I would miss them…I already missed them, and that made it all the more depressing.

Norm was my best friend, and his cute little quirks were confusing and a bit weird at times, but lovable all the same. Many scientists back at the station had assumed that we were going out or something, seeing how close we were. But the thought…even _thinking_ about the thought of dating Norm was so wrong, wrong because I could never, _ever_ see him in that way. It was like thinking about dating my brother…worse, almost.

Now, Kinak was another story…

I flushed at the memory of his arms around me, the total trust that I had felt as he leaned in to…to…

I whimpered as I reached the opening to the banshee perch, and muttered to myself as I strode towards where the banshees were roosting in the branches.

"I don't see Kinak that way, he's just–"

"I'm just what?"

Even after all of these months living around the nearly soundless moving Na'vi, I couldn't help the scream that escaped my lips as I whirled around, my eyes widening with dread and horror.

Kinak was casually leaning against the opening of the tree, his eyes sparkling with amusement at my scream, his arms crossed loosely across his well-muscled, chest. His face was smooth except for the small smirk that twisted his full lips.

"Just a stupid twerp that finds it funny to scare the living daylights out of people!" I snarled, whistling for Atan with a flip of my hair, turning my back to the gleeful boy who was making his way towards me.

"Twerp? What does that mean?"

He was much too close now, his chest inches from mine, and I found that it was hard to form coherent sentences. What was wrong with me? It was just _Kinak_ for goodness sake! Just an exceptionally handsome Kinak who was staring down at me with a smug smirk that made him even more delicious…if that was even possible…

What the _fuck_?!

I didn't normally swear, but I think that this qualifies as a sufficient situation to do just that.

I quickly turned away, my face aflame with color as I managed to stutter out.

"It's kind of like calling someone _skxawng." _

"_I see." _

Atan mercifully chose that moment to burst out of the leaves, crowing his exultation as he stretched out his deep sapphire blue wings, one of which bore the white birthmark that stretched from his left eye to the end of his left leg, making that eye seem blind when really just colored an unusual pale color instead of gold.

I rubbed his neck as he extended one of his antennae in my direction, watching as my braid's neural strands entangled themselves together. It was a shivery, almost alien feeling that made me close my eyes for a moment as my senses adjusted.

The air was clean and sharp; I could both smell it and taste it at the same time, something that had taken quite a bit of getting used to in the beginning. I quickly mounted, adjusting the harness-like contraption that allowed for a more comfortable flight and a handhold that tied around Atan's antennae, which reduced the chances of me accidentally pulling too hard and hurting him.

I let Atan adjust to my weight – and let me adjust to the joint feeling of my weight on our backs and his muscles tensing in preparation of flight – before leaning forward and diving off of the branch, quickly snapping open Atan's wings so we glided effortlessly over the entrance to Hometree. I heard the sound of Kinak's banshee behind me, and looked up to see him diving upward as if to touch the blazing sun that hung in the sky above us. I sighed as I saw him leaning over his banshee. Kinak had grace in his movements that could only be achieved through years of this life…something that I just didn't have, and probably never would have, at least not to the extent that the natives did.

There was always a feeling of rapture whenever I flew this high, with only the clouds and the sun for company. It was like I was in my own little world…

Except for the fact that Kinak was now flying beside me, not speaking, but playfully batting Atan's wingtips with every down stroke. I frowned, and called out over the wind.

"Why are you in such a good mood?"

Kinak shrugged, and I growled at his lack of response, leaning in to knock his banshee's wing on a wrong beat, causing the two of them to lose balance and fall a few feet. I laughed at Kinak's affronted expression, and quickly banked to the left to avoid his attempt to retaliate.

He was still staring at me, and it wasn't a frown on his face anymore.

It was something else, and it made my chest constrict suddenly as he smiled.

There was something in his eye…something I had only seen once before.

He dove towards the mountains, and I quickly followed, still trying to organize my befuddled thoughts.

Without much success.

Why am I not surprised?

* * *

Kinak landed in a small cave-like structure that had a depression of only a few feet, the ceiling reaching only a few feet above our heads. There was a large ledge that stretched out over the cliff, giving a stunning view of the surrounding trees and mountains that stretched as far as the eye could see.

I dismounted quickly, patting Atan's neck as I looked around in curious wonder. He crooned and nuzzled my hand for food.

"Don't worry…we'll go hunting in a while." I murmured, before gently breaking the bond and walking over to where Kinak was standing quietly, watching me.

Atan and Kinak's banshee rested quietly on the ledge, basking in the warm sunlight while Kinak and I stood by the cave's entrance, silently staring out at the open sky.

I bit my lip, frowning as Kinak turned to look at me.

"Kinak, I–"

"Sara, what–"

We both stopped speaking, and waited for the other to finish. Kinak stared down at me, and after a moment turned away to lean against the wall.

"This isn't as simple as I imagined it to be." Kinak muttered, and I blinked.

"What do you mean?"

"I…didn't know what to do when I saw the two of you together…I didn't know what to think. What did he have that I didn't…how was he better than I was?"

"Norm?"

"Yes…he loves you, Sara, almost as much as…" He trailed off, his eyes flickering towards the glint of the sun on the hide of his crimson colored banshee. I laughed nervously, more to cover up the rising feeling of understanding that was rising up in my gut.

"Kinak, Norm and I are just friends! He wouldn't ever see me that way…I don't understand why you would think that about us."

Kinak laughed, and turned to face me, his golden eyes dark and faraway as he spoke.

"I don't even know what I see…why I _want _the same thing that he does…"

I sighed, rubbing my forehead with my palm. "Kinak, please…just tell me what's wrong!"

He was making no sense whatsoever. What was he rambling on about? And was he…jealous of Norm and his relationship with me? That's just ridiculous! Norm knows as well as I do that we're just friends! He couldn't be interested in _me_ of all people…it just wasn't logical.

Kinak chuckled, and I heard him walk towards me, his footsteps soft against the cold stone floor. I felt his hand touch my shoulder, and looked up in surprise. His eyes were deep and warm, just like that night a week ago…and I felt a tingle of something.

His deep voice filled the silence that was suddenly charged with something…something…what was this _something_? I suddenly wanted to know with such an intensity that it left me breathless, and my heart slowly began to quicken its pace in my chest.

"And you're so…_clueless_. But I suppose that's just part of your charm…"

"Kinak, what are you–"

But I didn't have time to finish my question, because Kinak had placed his hands on either side of my face, and pressed his lips to mine.

It lasted no longer than a second, and his lips were unmoving against mine…almost hesitant, like he was a afraid if he went any farther he would hurt me.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

Kinak pulled away, his eyes burning and staring at his feet in shame when I didn't respond, but I touched his face so he looked up at me again. I smiled, and just stood there, my hands against his warm face, staring into his eyes.

I realized in that moment, that Kinak had assumed, like so many others had, that Norm and I were romantically involved, and that was why he had acted so jealously these past days. Just as I had wrongly assumed that he was flirting with that other warrior.

The feeling had been the same, but I hadn't known why I had felt it at the time.

I loved him.

More than anything, more than life itself.

It was all so clear now…I was a bit embarrassed that it had taken me so long to figure this out…

Yes, Kinak could be an ass, yes he could be a jealous idiot sometimes, and yes he could be stubborn to the point of insanity. But perhaps those were _his_ charms, the quirks that made me want to punch him and hug him at the same time. I knew that he was a jealous idiot over _me_, and that made up for all the rest. I knew that he believed that I was somehow worthy of his affections.

But why me, of all the women of his tribe? There were so many women that were stronger than I was, more beautiful than I was, and yet here we stood.

"I–" Kinak made to say something, but I honestly didn't give a damn.

I reached up, and kissed him again, this time wrapping my arms around his neck and melting against his chest.

There were no words needed, for everything was already explained, in those moments in which our lips moved in harmony together. Those moments that sent fire raging throughout my entire body.

I nearly died when his hands tangled themselves in my hair, pulling me even closer – was that even possible? – and hitching my leg around his waist with a desperate gasp. My back was suddenly against a wall, and I ran my hands up his bare stomach till I was gripping his shoulders again, my thoughts jumbled and raging with desire, a desire that was pulsing in my veins and urging me onward.

God, it was incredible.

I never, ever wanted it to end.


	20. Pretty Rain

Hey everyone! Hope you like this chapter, and i have two important questions/comments:

1) Is this chapter too fluffy? I feel like its kinda cliche-ish now that they're actually together, and although i tried to make it as un-cliche i'm afraid i may have failed.

2) This isnt really related to Avatar, but i'm thinking of re-posting my Inuyasha fiction (**Bittersweet**, InuyashaXOC). Do you guys think you could check it out if you're interested (im thinking of posting it either tonight or tomorrow) and give me some feedback? I took it off because no one really read it, and im posting it back on the site cuz i honestly enjoy writing it, and want to know if im doing alright. So if you could check it out, i'd really appreciate it!!! Thanks!

:D

* * *

I was walking on air over the next two days, and I sighed as I walked – or more accurately _floated_ – into Hometree. I couldn't keep the grin off of my face. The words repeated themselves in my brain, and every time they did my grin got even wider.

Kinak had kissed me.

_Kinak_ had kissed me.

Kinak had _kissed _me.

Kinak had kissed _me_.

Oh. My. God!

If I wake up and realize that our kiss was all just a dream, I'll seriously strangle someone.

I mean, I never would've guessed that this was possible between Kinak and I, especially considering the first impressions that were exchanged that day when Citra ordered us to fight each other.

_"_You're_ the one who's stupid, you bastard!"_

I smiled slightly at the memory, and looked up to see Kinak walking towards a warrior who was carving designs into a spare bow. His tail swayed loosely around his calves, and it drew my attention to the beads and ornaments decorating his belt and knife sheath. His strong, muscular arms swung by his sides, and his thick braid hung down his back, a few stray strands of hair framing his jaw and cheekbones as his golden eyes focused on the young man.

_"I am stupid? Then why are you the one who is on the ground, defeated by a _stupid_ boy?"_

So much had changed since then.

My grin was so wide now that it was starting to hurt, and yet I couldn't_ stop _grinning. Quite problematic…but wasn't everything?

"Sara!" Lielu said loudly from the other side of the main floor, and I saw her waving me over with a smile on her face. I jogged over, and my grin faltered at the dark and intense stares of the unfamiliar Tipani men who were crowded around.

"Yes?" I asked, and Lielu spoke quietly.

"We're going on a hunt, and were wondering if you would mind if we brought Tanhì with us. The first rains should be here any day now, and this may be our last chance to hunt."

I smiled. "Yeah, of course! Let me just go find her, and I'll send her outside." I nodded to the senior warriors, who merely blinked in return, and I dashed off in search of my oversized baby.

"Sara!" I felt my pointed ears swiveling towards the familiar voice, and I turned with a smile to see Kinak striding towards me, and tried not to blush as he smiled slightly. Oh dear Lord…he was so unbelievably handsome…again, _why_ on earth would this guy want _me_ of all people? I didn't know, didn't want to know, don't think I even cared at this point. It was all I could do to not leap at him and kiss him again. The thought made me squeak in embarrassment, and I stared at my feet for a moment as he approached.

"Hey…" I muttered, glancing up to meet his eyes, and found that he was staring intently at his own feet, face aflame with color. So much for being in any way _suave_ about this…

He coughed. "I was wondering…do you want to–?"

"Sara!" I heard Lielu's voice call again, sharper this time. I growled, my tail whipping around in irritation at the interruption. I put my finger against Kinak's mouth to silence him, and to the shock of everyone present, I got on my tiptoes and pulled his face down to mine.

He was too surprised to react, and I smiled against his lips and pulled away after a moment.

"I'll be right back. Hold that thought, okay?" I whispered, and he nodded dazedly, slowly turning to talk away. I giggled as he almost tripped over a loom, much to the amusement of the older woman weaving there.

I sighed, ignoring the wide eyes and the giggles of the children, and continued my search for Tanhì.

It only took me a moment to find her, lounging on one of the thicker branches, her tail lazily flicking back and forth, slyly whapping one of the warriors when he wasn't looking. I laughed at his furious expression, and at the restrained smiles of the others who were sitting around him. Tanhì growled contentedly, and when I whistled her amber eyes shot up to find me in less than a second. Her mouth opened to reveal sharp teeth that gleamed in the sunlight, and she gracefully leapt off of the branch and landed inches from me, butting my hand for attention. I rubbed behind her jaw, which resulted in rumbles of pleasure.

"You're going hunting with Lielu, alright?" I murmured, leading her outside where Lielu was waiting along with the other warriors. I saw some of the men tense as they saw my baby, but I ignored them and stood back as Lielu whistled for Tanhì. The thanator looked back at me expectantly, and when I gave her the affirmative clap, she bounced over to Lielu, who patted her on the head. I waved to them, and Lielu waved back before disappearing into the brush along with the others, and Tanhì was gone before I could blink.

I sighed, and felt a small hand touch my leg. I looked down to see a little girl – Aela, I think – smiling at me, and holding out a large blue fruit that had darker stripes decorating it. I smiled back at her, and thanked her, taking the fruit and taking a large bite. Sweet juice filled my mouth, and I chewed the fruit slowly, staring out at the forest once more.

"Can I play with your hair, Sara?" Aela asked shyly, and I looked down at the girl, who was twiddling her thumbs and staring at me with big pleading eyes.

"Why?"

"Because, my sister and I have lots of pretty flowers and if we undo your braids we could tie the flowers in and…" She trailed off, smiling adorably at me. I sighed, and finished the rest of the fruit.

"Okay…"

Aela laughed, and led me towards the entrance of Hometree, where I saw her older sister grinning with delight, a bunch of colorful flowers in her hands. Both of their golden eyes gleamed with glee, and I couldn't help but smile at their ecstatic giggles and laughs. I looked around to see a few of the women smiling knowingly, and one of the younger one whispered to her neighbor, resulting in smug smirks. Uh oh. Smug smirks were never a good sign.

"Oh boy…" I muttered, slowly sitting down and feeling their excited fingers begin to unravel the numerous braids on my head.

* * *

_Kinak stared out at the expansive forests that glittered in the bright sunlight, and smiled so widely that it hurt. The rhythmic beating of his Swizaw's wings filled the background, and Kinak savored the feel of the wind against his face and the warm sun on his skin. _

_ His life had always been filled with deadlines and expectations, so to be able to relax and let life surprise him was a nice change to his usual routine. _

_ Speaking of surprises…_

_ Kinak flushed at the memory of Sara's kiss just an hour ago, still shocked at her fearlessness. Any other Na'vi wouldn't dare show their affection that openly, preferring to show it when the two of them were alone. _

_Of course, Sara wasn't just _any other Na'vi_, so Kinak wasn't really surprised. _

_ And, in truth, it had made him feel as if the two of them weren't in Kelutral anymore, instead in their own little world that wasn't bothered with the troubles of everyday life, wasn't bothered with anything besides their love for each other. _

_ Just thinking the word _love _made Kinak's tail twitch in anticipation, and he snorted at the fantasies that arose, and marveled at how positively perverted he was becoming. _

_The cause of these inappropriate thoughts? Sara. _

_Did Kinak _mind_? Of course not. _

_Kinak laughed quietly to himself, and shifted into a shallow dive until they were skimming along the treetops, close enough for him to brush his hand against the large leaves of the trees. _

_Rainy season was almost upon the Tipani Clan, and Kinak stared out at the horizon that was concealed by the incoming clouds of deepest gray. Part of him was looking forward to the refreshing rain that would accompany those clouds, but another part of him wished that the rain would somehow skip them this year. _

_During rainy season – which went on for two months at the least – it rained nearly every day, and on the days that it didn't rain the sky was still humid and moist, the sunlight blocked by the constant cover of clouds. The land that the Tipani and Omaticaya occupied was one of the most fertile environments on Pandora, and although it rained regularly all year round, rainy season was when the most water was distributed, and it was also when most of the herbivores and certain omnivores of Pandora chose to reproduce. The rain made it harder for the predators to navigate easily through the trees and undergrowth, and so the usually hunted animals used this to their advantage. Their young would have less to fear from predators, and could grow in the months of rainy season. And when rainy season ended, the predators, who had very hard times fighting for food during those months, would be able to hunt once more as the rains subsided. It was a few months after the rainy season that predators reproduced, where prey was plenty and the weather was constant. _

_It was a constant cycle, and Kinak knew that nothing he said or did could change it. _

_Soon the ikran would be forced to find shelter in the high branches of Kelutral, and would only be able to stretch their wings once a week, if they were lucky. Kinak shuddered at the mayhem that would cause, and patted Swizaw's__neck as the creature screeched in nervousness as the images of being confined leaked across their bond. _

"_Don't worry, my friend…I'm not looking forward to it either." _

_Well…that was only partially true. Being forced to remain in a relatively small living space with Sara could result in some rather enjoyable experiences…_

_Kinak's lips turned up in a smile as he turned them towards Kelutral, and his Swizaw's crimson hide glinted brightly in the sunlight that seemed twice as bright as usual, as if trying to make up for all the overcast days to come. _

_Kinak saw the hunting party returning, their direhorses loaded up with meat, and chuckled at the dark form of Tanhì, who was playfully dragging and tossing her prey up in the air. _

_The young man slid off of his ikran when they reached the perch, adjusting his bow and quiver of arrows, and he made his way down to the main meeting area of Kelutral, watching as Sänume organized parties of both men and women to begin skinning the prey and preparing the meat for storage. He saw a young woman standing near Tanhì, convincing the palulukan to release the yerik that was clenched between her jaws. _

_The young woman's hair was not in braids, and flowed in gentle waves to her waist. There were freshly picked flowers tied in the shining tresses, and different colored beads tied around the flowers, some matching and some not, creating a lovely pattern that resembled a star. Kinak knew in an instant who the woman was, and yet it still shocked him when she turned around. _

_Sara grinned in triumph as she managed to get the yerik from Tanhì, and she handed it off to one of the older women, who looked slightly disgusted at the saliva that covered the hide. _

_Kinak sighed, and rubbed his hand against his forehead, peeking from behind his fingers at the object of his interest who was leading Tanhì back inside, away from the fresh blood. _

_Yes, he loved her. _

_Yes, he wanted to pummel the life out of any man who dared threaten his relationship with her._

_Yes, he knew that she was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. _

_He was sure of all of those things…but he knew that he couldn't ask her to be his mate yet. They were both so young…and they needed time to get to know each other now that they were this intimate with each other. _

_It was the logical thing to do. _

_Kinak was pretty much good at everything he tried…so it was rather ironic that being patient wasn't one of them. _

* * *

I quickly left Tanhì in the central area, and ran back out to get her one of the medium steaks that was being carved outside, smiling gratefully when Lielu saw me coming and had one ready by the time I got to the group. I wrapped it in a leaf to keep the blood from getting on my skin, and walked back inside, smiling at the small children who were perched in the window-like opening, staring with wonder as the older members of the tribe butchered the animals.

I saw Kinak leaning against the entrance wall, staring at me with a small smile on his face. I flushed as I heard high-pitched giggles and whispers behind me, and quickly smiled back before hurrying over to feed Tanhì.

Her amber eyes were alert and bright, and she tried to lick my face but was quickly distracted by the meat that I uncovered and tossed to her. She growled as she tore into the still warm meat, and I patted her on the flank before turning around.

I saw Kinak walking towards me, and grinned.

"Hey." I said – I'm ashamed to admit that my heart was racing in anticipation – as I reached him, and he nodded, his golden eyes glittering in the sunlight.

"Hello."

"Did you go flying?" We both moved unconsciously towards the entrance to Hometree, not holding hands but close enough so that our shoulders were nearly touching.

"Yes. I thought it would be good to let Swizaw fly before the rains settled in. It will be rather irritating to sit inside all day."

I frowned, looking at the sky that was bright blue and warm with the sunshine. "It rains a lot, then?"

"Almost constantly."

"That's not so bad…I like the rain." I said, staring up at the sky, watching a few stray banshee riders gliding overhead.

"It can be dangerous though. If the rains get strong enough, Kelutral may flood and we will be forced to move all of our equipment up to the branches." Kinak murmured, and I smiled.

"The children have been teaching me how to weave waterproof mats, I was surprised at how skillful some of them are. Do we have to hang them over our hammocks, so the rain that seeps through the upper canopy doesn't get us wet?"

Kinak nodded. "Yes. Often there are shortages of mats, as the materials for making them are in short supply during this time of year. They have to share with family members or close friends."

He seemed embarrassed, and I coughed to try and ease the silence that followed his explanation.

"Yeah…that makes sense. My hammock is big enough for two, I think. Only if there aren't enough mats, of course."

Kinak nodded hurriedly, his face still flushed. "Yes, of course."

The two of us were on the edge of the trees, and we looked back to watch as older children and selected adults of the tribe worked together to prepare the meat and hide of each animal. Their long fingered hands moved so fast that I often lost track of their actions, and the pile of prey was quickly disappearing. I felt a cool dark shadow cover me, and looked up to see clouds slowly creeping towards Hometree, effectively blocking out the sun. Kinak sighed, and the sound made me look back at him.

"The rain season has officially begun. It will begin raining in a few minutes, we should get inside." Kinak muttered, his eyes hungrily staring at the last bit of blue sky that still remained outside of the clouds' reach.

I smiled, and was about to take his hand when I heard a familiar voice hiss from behind us.

"Sara!"

I turned to see Änsìt, one of the girls that had taught me how to weave the rainy season mats, and a boy that looked to be her age – not more than twelve years old – both crouched in the underbrush and motioning me over quickly. Kinak raised an eyebrow in confusion, and they seemed to shrink into the leaves when they saw him.

I knelt down and wrapped my arms around my knees. "Why are you two hiding?"

"We need your help!"

Kinak stood next to me, and I tried not to get too distracted by the fact that he stood close enough to his leg was touching my bared upper thigh. Get your mind out of the gutter…pull yourself together.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, and Änsìt glanced at the boy next to her, their eyes worried and frightened. I felt my stomach clench in suspicious worry, and the boy bit his lip.

Kinak sighed, and knelt beside me as the seconds passed, and I whispered gently. "If you don't tell us, we cant help you."

Änsìt gulped. "We were playing…hide and seek, in the forest just over there." She pointed behind them, and Kinak's golden eyes scanned the area carefully as the girl went on. "It was me, Etuk," I assumed that Etuk was the young boy. "and Sevin. We were hiding over in the trees, and Sevin was looking for us. We were just teasing, we were calling out and she got confused, because we kept changing trees so she wouldn't know where the calls came from. She was turning around, and she tripped on one of the roots…" Änsìt choked up, and buried her head in her arms.

Etuk continued. "She caught her foot on the root, and fell backward down the hill that went deeper into the forest. We ran after her, but I think she fell into the stream, and was swept away before we could reach her. We've been looking for her all morning, and we can't find her! She could be…" He couldn't finish, and I leaned my face against my palm, eyes closed tightly.

Kinak was staring at the two with calculating eyes. After a moment, he sighed, and gently lifted the two children to their feet. They flinched, expecting to be scolded by this imposing and fierce warrior. I smiled to myself, knowing exactly how they felt.

"It's alright, we will find Sevin. You two go and find Sänume, and tell her that if Sara and I don't return within two hours, send a search party out. Get inside, you don't want to get wet." Kinak said quietly, and gently pushed them in the direction of Hometree. They looked shocked out of their skins, and quickly ran to where the leader was standing just inside Hometree.

I got to my feet, and followed as Kinak led the way into the brush. He made his way toward the place where Änsìt had pointed, and when we were out of sight, I sped up so I was walking beside him.

I didn't say anything, and neither did he. There was a sense of calm between us, our affections were already proven through our actions and words, there was no need to clarify or explain anything. My hand instinctively reached towards his, and I smiled when his hand tightened around mine.

But then that moment was poisoned with worry, and our hands slipped apart as Kinak knelt to examine the torn leaves and the broken root that showed where the incident had occurred. I could only begin to imagine the terror of the little girl that was currently alone in the forest, probably with a painfully twisted ankle.

I had just begun to imagine that all my problems were over. Kinak and I were in love – eek! – I wasn't locked in a life or death struggle with anything, and I was at peace with the world I had chosen to live in.

But let's face it, problems are _never_ over. Not in my life anyway.

A girl can dream, right?


	21. Distant Cries

Okay, before you even THINK about reviewing, know that I am well aware of how pitifully short this chapter is...dont even mention it, because I KNOW! I just felt like I had to spit some ideas out. This should be considered more of a transition chapter rather than a real solid plot mover.

But with all that aside, I hope you like it, and please review!!!

I seriously didn't think that this story would attract this much attention, and I want to say thanks to each and every one of my reviewers!

...

okay, I'm a bit too lazy to list all of you by name, but know that every time you review my day get's instantly brighter!

Thanks!

:D

* * *

We ran lightly down the slope, the rock and dirt being so loose that we lost our footing – well, to be honest, it was _me _a good percentage of the time – and often had to grab onto thick roots that stretched down from trees up above us to regain our balance.

"Do you really think that she fell into the river?" I asked quietly, staring at the large and gently flowing river that wound around the nearest tree and went farther into the forest.

Kinak sighed before answering, his eyes staring up at the sky that had just a few minutes ago been clear of clouds. Now, though, it was stormy gray and rumbling with rain. I kept my eyes on the distorted earth beneath us, and followed the small footprints that were unsteady and messy towards the rushing river.

"It's possible. I doubt she had very good footing on this soil…"

I bit my lip as we reached the bottom, which led straight into the river, and we looked downriver, which led only in one direction. If Sevin fell into the water, then at least we knew which direction she went in.

Not a very good thought, and what was even sadder was that that thought was the most optimistic thought I had right now. That's me, your friendly neighborhood pessimist…

I felt a drop of water hit my shoulder, and looked up to see a large sheet of water falling towards us, so close that I could see the individual droplets. I was at least prepared for the rush of rain, but Kinak was not, and so I got to laugh at him when he jumped horribly at the coldness of the water.

Kinak glared at me – I was still laughing – before making his way quickly along the shore of the river, pushing aside leaves and vines so he could follow the flow of water. I hastened to follow, and my ears swiveled around constantly at the sound of water hitting the wide leaves of the plant-life.

The air was cold and wet as the rain continued to pour down on the forest, and though we were partially protected by the thick canopy overhead, we still got completely soaked from head to toe within five minutes. I went on one side of the river, and Kinak went on the other, both of us searching for the form of a little Na'vi girl. If I was right in guessing that Sevin had twisted her ankle, she couldn't have strayed far from the river. If she had…

I didn't want to think about it. The forests of Pandora were dangerous enough for us adults, I couldn't imagine how much more dangerous it would be for a defenseless child.

The temperature dropped as we searched, and although it wasn't unpleasant in this tropical environment, it was enough to make me painfully aware of the fact that we had been searching for a while now…and we still haven't found Sevin. The end of the river was in sight, and I felt desolate sorrow settling in my chest as we slowed to a stop. Kinak's jaw was tight, his eyes narrowed in the way that I had come to recognize, the way that he always did when he was at his wit's end. It wasn't often that he was out of options, and to have that occur now was even more depressing.

"She's not in the river." I choked out, and Kinak must've heard something in my voice, because he turned to me with a frown.

"That doesn't mean that she isn't around here somewhere." His golden eyes flickered around the surrounding forest, as if hoping that by wishing the girl to be here, she would appear.

I sniffed, and wiped my nose hurriedly before he could see. I stared into the river, and bit my lip as the idea began to materialize in my mind. I turned to Kinak once more.

"I've got an idea, but to do it I need you to go back to Hometree, and get something that belonged to Sevin. A favorite necklace, an eating dish, _anything_. Tanhì can track her down, but we need to do it quickly, before the rain washes away too much of the scent. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, but–"

"Then do it. Please, Kinak." I said, jumping over the river and taking his hands. He growled, and I touched his face with hesitant fingers, still getting my head around the idea that I could touch him whenever I wanted. I waited until he looked down at me before speaking. "I'll be okay. I'm a little bit better at staying alive then I was when we met."

"No, you're not."

Kinak's cold tone surprised me, and I frowned as his mouth turned down in a scowl. But then his hands were fiercely clutching my face, and his mouth was hard and desperate on mine. I closed my eyes to better enjoy the feeling, but it was over as soon as it started, and Kinak was running off into the forest, back the way we had come.

I was left to stand in the rain, wondering what the hell just happened. Kinak had just said that I wasn't more likely to keep myself alive then I was when I first came here – practically saying that I was still useless and weak – and then he kissed me, and I mean really _kissed_ me. And then he ran off in a huff.

Ugh.

Men. You always love them, but do you always understand them?

_Hell_ no.

I'm not trying to insinuate that women are always understood, because trust me; I've met plenty of confusing women in my lifetime. But let's not get into the whole conflicting gender thing, okay? I've got enough on my plate as it is.

I sighed, and put my fingers to my lips. I whistled for Tanhì as loud as I could, and seeing as we couldn't be more than a few miles away from Hometree, I assumed that my baby would hear it. I hoped that she would hear it, anyway.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, I heard the familiar crashing and growling of Tanhì as she made her way through the undergrowth. I ran towards the sound, almost falling on my face in the slick grass that seemed to mold itself to my feet. Tanhì leapt on a root that stretched overhead, and she slid downward to land with a loud snarl at the foot of the tree. The rain would take her a while to get used to, so I wasn't surprised to see her slip and stumble as she ran towards me. I laughed, and hugged her around the neck, feeling her powerful muscles flex as she licked my shoulder.

I stood there for a while, and was distracted by Tanhì pulling away and sniffing at something on the ground. I looked around at her, and smiled slightly at her snuffling.

"What's up, girl?"

I walked over to where she was sniffing, and something shiny and glittering caught my eye, halfway submerged into the dirt that was quickly becoming mud under the constant downpour. I blinked water out of my eyes, wiping a hand across my brow quickly before kneeling to examine the glittering object better.

It was a small anklet, made of braided leather and various beads. It was broken at one end, and some of the threads had come undone now that it was no longer whole. I stared down at it, and saw for the first time tiny footprints that led deeper into the brush, away from the river. It was partially covered by the leaves, it was no wonder Kinak and I couldn't see it at first.

I glanced back to where Kinak had disappeared, and then back to the footprints.

Tanhì butted my arm with her nose, and I sighed, gently picking up the anklet and holding it up for the thanator to curiously sniff.

"Find her, Tanhì." I murmured, as my baby's eyes became more focused as she sniffed the water filled footprints. Suddenly, her head jerked up, and she bolted in the direction the footsteps led, leaving me to scramble after her. Without my noticing it, the anklet slipped out of my fingers, onto the forest floor once more, right beside the river.

The beads shone brightly compared to the seemingly dim ground around it, almost as bright as the little girl's smile had been when her mother had given it to her.

* * *

_Kinak shook his head furiously to try and rid his hair of the water as he entered Kelutral, with little success. People were crowding around Sänume, speaking in anxious tones. A woman – Sevin's mother – was twisting her hair between her fingers; her mouth wrinkled at the corners with age, her wise golden eyes frantic. _

_Sänume caught sight of Kinak, and waved off the people with a flick of her fingers, making her way over to the young man with a worried scowl on her fierce face. _

"_Kinak, where is Sara? And have you found Sevin yet?" _

"_No, but Tanhì is with Sara now, and I need something of Sevin's so they can track the scent." _

_Sevin's mother, who was close enough to hear the conversation, leapt forward with a cry. "I have a mat she made just yesterday, will that do?" _

_Kinak nodded, and the woman rushed off, her hair flying behind her. Sänume sighed, rubbing her temples furiously, her face tense. "Where is Sara?" _

"_She's waiting at the end of the river just outside Kelutral." _

_Sänume hissed, and Kinak frowned at her unexpected reaction. Sänume glared at him for a moment before looking away, and her fangs gleamed as she stared out at the rain. _

"_The children say that they saw her fall into the river, so she either got out of the river or she drowned. There is no other path for her to take." _

"_We didn't find a body–"_

"_This means that she managed to get out of the river. You realize that with Tanhì, Sara can find a trail that cannot be seen. You and Sara may have not seen any evidence of a trail, because the rain washed away any obvious marks on the leaves or trees. If they found a trail, do you really think that Sara would wait for you?" _

_Kinak's face was smooth, his eyes slits of comprehension. His hand tightened around his bow, and Sänume turned away from him. _

"_I will send a group of hunters out to look for her, but if they do not find either of them by the time night falls, they will return to Kelutral, and we will perform Eywa's Rite of Passing for both of them. You will accompany them. This has gone on too long, if Sara chooses to go on her own, so be it." _

"_But what if she manages to find Sevin and needs help? We can't–"_

"_Sara must learn to rely on her own strength, Kinak. You won't always be there to protect her, even if you do plan to make her your mate." Kinak flushed, and a trace of a smile crossed Sänume's lips before vanishing. _

"_Now go gather five pa'li. I will send the warriors out in a minute." _

_It was a clear dismissal, and Kinak followed her instructions with a heavy heart, walking out into the rain, staring up at the raindrops that quickly soaked his semi-dry hair. _

_It was the way that things had always been…if a clan member went missing or was dragged off by a predator, and the search party didn't find them by nightfall; it was assumed that they were dead. If they managed to return by some miracle, then it was by the grace of Eywa, and they were welcomed back with much relief and rejoicing. But it was very rare for someone that went missing to return, and that fact made Kinak's stomach turn in anxious worry. _

_Sara was still so ignorant and blind, even though she had progressed exponentially from her first day with the Tipani. She didn't know half about the predators and other dangers of the forest that Kinak did, which was only natural. Kinak had been taught in the ways of the Na'vi since he was very small, while Sara had only months to base her experience on. _

_Kinak felt the cold water trickling down his neck and chest, and a deep frown creased his brow as he led five pa'li – who were slightly annoyed at being taken from their dry overhang that had been built in anticipation of the constant rain – to the entrance of Hometree, his feet making deep imprints in the muddy ground. His sister was among the warriors chosen for the search, but Kinak couldn't bring himself to look at her, instead mounting his pa'li without a word and making his way towards the river. _

_There was a chance that Sara was alive…there was always a chance. _

_Kinak clung to that thought, for he knew that the others around him were expecting the worst._

* * *

The rain continued to fall, and Tanhì was much too fast for me to actively keep up with her. I often had to call her back so I could follow the trail, but with that lost time the rain was effective in weakening the scent of Sevin, and it took more time for Tanhì to find the trail once more.

I was close to losing all hope when I called Tanhì back an hour later, only to find that she could not find the scent. Her amber eyes flickered around quickly, but after a moment she sat on her haunches with a confused growl, and I whirled around to slam my palm against a rotting tree root that wrapped securely around the girth of a fallen log.

"Dammit!"

Here I was, so cocky, so confident that I would save the day…and look at me now. I was an idiot, and I bet Kinak would tell me that in great detail when he found me.

I knew he would find me, because if he didn't, he wouldn't have anyone to vent his worry and anger on.

A piercing scream filled the air, slightly echoed and faraway, but close enough to make my ears ring and my heartbeat quicken frantically.

I stared out at the forest, and then at Tanhì. Sevin was being attacked by something, and there was no way in hell that I was going to get there in time if I used my own two feet.

I ran towards the thanator, and leapt on her back, reaching for my braid and gently pushing our neural strands – her antenna was hidden behind her spines – together.

My vision exploded into a wave of color and senses, so unlike the bond of a direhorse or a banshee, so unlike anything I had ever experienced. It was like I was on that stone ledge all over again, staring down my banshee before our battle for supremacy began. It was like staring into the web of roots to find that tiny baby cub, like staring into her amber eyes for the first time. The excitement, the fear, the love. Emotions waved over me, so fast and so violent that I couldn't breathe. I could feel her powerful muscles shifting beneath her thick skin, and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. I felt powerful, strong…fierce, like a lion feels as it stalks the unknowing prey.

Tanhì was unprepared for my sudden connection, and she jumped so violently that I was almost jolted off balance.

But I stroked her shoulders and murmured comfortingly to her until she calmed down once more. She was still my baby, my little star, even more so now that I could feel her trust in me, her love for the mother that now sat on her shoulders. Tanhì wasn't full grown, but she was nearly adult size, my legs easily finding the right way to grip her sides and my hands unerringly finding the two pieces of bone to grip onto.

I leaned low over her neck, and with a roar of challenge, Tanhì bounded forward.


	22. Set in Stone

Finally! Sorry for the long update, school is such a pain right now, with AP Exams right around the corner.

Hope you guys like it (if my Na'vi language stuff is off, please dont get all huffy. No one is perfect, and I'm no exception)!

I loved writing the last bit, i'm a sucker for that kind of stuff!

:D

Please review!

* * *

I had heard from Jake that Neytiri had bonded with a thanator during the battle with the RDA, but I doubt that she felt what I felt now as Tanhì's mind and mine joined together to form one combined being that was both Na'vi and thanator, natural enemies, but now they were so closely intertwined that I found it hard to distinguish who was who.

I was no longer riding Tanhì, I _was _Tanhì. Her body was mine, just as mine was hers. I had no fear of falling, even when we slid down one of the vines at a precarious angle, because my body knew how to adjust…her mind and mine communicating flawlessly. But I knew – some deep intuition that sparked as we ran – that there was a level of understanding and love that couldn't have been there with Neytiri and the bonded thanator that had died soon after. Instead of what Tanhì and I shared, there must've been a level of strong respect and necessity, seeing as the forest was burning around them.

Her muscles bunched and released as we made our way towards the screams, which were growing fainter. I flattened myself against her neck, whispering words of encouragement that resulted in Tanhì quickening her pace.

The rain continued to fall, making the air in front of us seem almost surreal in the strangest way. The bright flowers sparkled and flourished in the undergrowth, and the moss on the trees gained a slick surface that made it extremely difficult to walk on, much less run on. It took all of our concentration to make our way without slipping and/or breaking a leg.

It wasn't much later that Tanhì bounded over an overturned tree trunk, only to come face to face with a small girl. Her face was filled with panic, and her body was smeared with mud, and she slipped as she struggled to run even faster. I felt my eyes narrowing at the sound of crashing in the trees behind her.

She screamed so loudly at the sight of Tanhì that it hurt my ears, making them flatten against my skull. I slid off quickly, and her eyes widened, and I saw cuts and scratches on her arms and legs. I grabbed her shoulders, and stared at her.

"Are you alright?" I asked anxiously, and she shuddered, clinging to me and looking behind her.

Sevin spoke so quickly that I only understood one word.

"_–lenay'ga!_"

I felt the blood drain from my face, just as the beast itself crashed out of the trees, its pincer like claws snapping menacingly.

It was called a slinger back at the base, and all the information we had on them was from video recordings from scouts, scouts who never came back alive after confronting this beast. Its body was awkward looking and a bright crimson color with different colored stripes scattered across its body, but it moved fast enough to catch up to its prey, and had another feature that was as disturbing as it was frightening.

It had a neck that looked like a scorpion's tail, with a large spine like part at the tip. When the slinger got within range, that spine shot out to attach itself to the victim, releasing a poison that restricted movement so the prey couldn't run far. But as if that wasn't bad enough, the small creature also emitted loud shrieks so the main body could locate the prey.

The slinger rumbled as it faced us, and the small spine suddenly shot out, and though I pushed Sevin out of the way, it still managed to graze the girl's arm, making her cry out in pain as the poison seeped in. I picked her up hurriedly, and the creature leapt at me, crashing into me and sending Sevin flying out of my grasp. I felt its claws scrabbling at my skin, and I unsheathed my dagger and slashed it across its beady eyes with a yell. The slinger screamed, and moved backward, its body shaking with pain as it moved towards the motionless head on the ground. I leapt towards the head, my knife outstretched, but the slinger somehow sensed my approach, and whipped out with one of its legs, knocking the wind out of me.

I cursed my lack of a bow as I got to my feet, clutching my chest and gulping air into my chest. I was about to go at the creature again, but I heard a growl behind me, and saw Tanhì leap into the fray. I watched with wonder as Tanhì's spines lifted powerfully, and as she stood firm in front of me, a menacing roar filling the air with a chill that wasn't a result of the rain. Her tail whipped around in challenge – she was much larger than the creature, and her claws seemed to gleam in the silence as the slinger backed away, a low rumble resounding in the air as it melted away into the brush.

I almost laughed – did it just run away in fear? – as I turned to go over to Sevin, but then something sharp and painful pierced my calf. I yelled, and fell to the ground roughly, and saw for a moment the sharp spine of the head of the slinger, and I stabbed it with my knife, yanking it out of my leg, wincing as blood welled to the surface. There was a mix of dark purple venom in there too, and I got to my feet, hissing as the puncture wound burned like fire. Sevin was motionless by a tree root, with Tanhì sniffing her curiously. The thanator's golden eyes brightened when she saw me walking towards her, and I smiled weakly, aware that every step I took spread the venom even more.

I reached Sevin, and saw that her arm was inflamed, but the poison hadn't spread much yet. I carefully picked her unconscious body up, and placed her on Tanhì's shoulders, and quickly made the bond, shivering as the intense emotions washed over me once more. The rain seemed ten times louder, my ears now able to hear individual raindrops on the leaves, able to hear the whispering of the leaves as distant creatures moved through the undergrowth. I stepped up onto her back, and held the girl firmly around the waist, leaning forward as Tanhì started running once more.

I grimaced at the pain that spread every time my left leg moved, and focused on keeping Sevin's arm as still as possible. That was all that mattered…keeping the poison from spreading.

My mind was turning fuzzy, the poison trickling through my system at a painfully slow rate as we ran. My limbs felt like rubber, my eyes glazing over. I couldn't think straight, was it still day? Or was it night?

Was I still awake?

The sudden limpness came without warning, and I felt my body slowly falling forward, my eyes halfway closed and my breathing shallow in my chest. I couldn't move…I could barely think. I couldn't lose consciousness, I couldn't do anything.

The sound of the rain was fading, slowly shifting from the deafening roar to the soft musical plinks that I had often heard when listening to the piano back home on Earth. Those beautiful notes…so long ago heard…just distant memories now. Just distant memories that – once they were gone from my mind – I had no hope of retrieving.

* * *

_Kinak cursed under his breath as the rain continued to fall, the trail quickly and surely disappearing as the water covered Tanhì's large tracks. His pa'li snorted uneasily as the galloped through the foliage, and his brow furrowed in worry. _

_Lielu was the only one with him now, the others having given up at least an hour ago. It was already far into the darkness of night, and if they didn't find them soon, maybe something else would. Tanhì was strong, but even she couldn't take multiple enemies that were almost her size, and even if Tanhì could walk away, it didn't leave much hope for Sevin and Sara. _

_His sister's hands were clenched around her bow, her golden eyes frantic with worry as she scanned the forest that was bright with bioluminescence. Kinak felt a cold weight settling on his chest, unlike any weight he had ever encountered. It wasn't the feeling he got when he didn't do very well at a skill, it wasn't the feeling he got when he hurt himself badly, it wasn't the feeling he got after watching Sänume perform the burial ceremony for an elder of the clan. _

_If it had to be compared to anything, it would have to be similar to the coldness he felt when those bastard Skypeople shot down his father and mother, when they first arrived on Pandora nearly twenty years ago, and hadn't known that the Na'vi were in fact intellectual beings. He had only been six years old, and Lielu had been nine. _

_Such hopelessness he had felt then…such painful sorrow. His young mind could not get its head around the fact that his mother and father, the most important people in his life beside his older sister, were just _gone_. It wasn't until he caught a glimpse of their bodies that were scattered with bullet holes that he realized that it was true. His parents were gone…forever. _

_And with it the innocence he had treasured as a child. It was torn from him in an instant. _

_The innocence was replaced with determination. And hatred. He knew that his only aim was to become a warrior, the strongest warrior the Na'vi people had ever seen, and then he would make the Skypeople pay for what they took from him. _

_When they told him that he couldn't participate in the battle because he was too young, he almost attacked Sänume right then and there. It was his only chance for vengeance, and in the end was allowed to tag along under the pretense of "scouting". But he knew that when it came down to it, no one would care if a soon-to-be warrior snuck out and joined the battle. _

_And that's exactly what Kinak did. _

_Kinak shook his head as memories of the fight came back in a rush, and smiled slightly as he remembered that moment when he was making his way back to camp. He saw a figure crouched beside a tree, clutching its arm in pain. Kinak saw that it was one of the strange dreamwalkers, and that it had the strange clothes of the Skypeople on. _

_The girl had raised her head to stare at him in confusion, and he had been lost in those eyes. Slightly smaller than the lemur-like eyes of the usual Na'vi woman, they were a deep rich gold, with small streaks of green around the pupil. _

_It was a strange feeling, because all of the Na'vi had either golden or pale green eyes. There was nothing really _special _about anyone's eyes. _

_So it was quite odd – even after Kinak had returned her to the Omaticaya camp and returned back to his own – that her eyes remained embedded in his memory. Her face was a blur, her features fading as the days went by before their next meeting. But those eyes…they were as clear and visible as they had been on that dusky night. _

_Kinak's head shot up at the sound of a loud roar that made the leaves around them shiver. He urged his pa'li faster, towards the sound. _

_Because he knew that wherever that particular roar sounded, Sara would be. _

* * *

I was lying on the ground – Tanhì had gently tilted her back so the girl and I slid off in a heap by the roots of a large tree. I was on my side, for which I was grateful, because lying on my back would allow the rain to be a constant sheet over my eyes, making it hard to see. Sevin was slowly moving her arms, I wished I could smile at her encouragingly, but my face was as numb as the rest of my body. I watched with half-lidded eyes as Sevin shakily got to her feet, having to lean against Tanhì for support as she managed to get upright. Her shoulders were shaking in fear and in exertion as the poison slowly seeped from her system. The slinger had barely scratched her, while I on the other hand…

Sevin looked around, and her eyes were streaming with tears as she saw my seemingly lifeless form. Her tiny voice filled the air as she stumbled over to me, and began shaking me, her tone becoming more and more panicked when I didn't respond.

I wanted to scream her name, I wanted to hug her close and tell her everything was going to be all right. But I couldn't. I couldn't do anything but stare blankly into the space in front of my face, which happened to be a intricate root that had a small hollow in the top where a shallow cup of water was collecting as the rain continued to fall.

I wonder, would I just start moving again in a few hours, or was the poison serious enough to actually kill me? Wait…I remembered. The poison was…more damaging if the head of the beast remained in your skin, because then the creature could continue to pump poison into you. If you got it out, it quickly passed through your system. But how quickly? I couldn't remember.

Tanhì was nudging me with her nose, a whimper rising in her throat as her tongue rasped urgently against the skin of my shoulder, trying to get me to move.

It was a pain unlike anything I had ever experienced. My mind awake and alive as usual, but my body unable to do what I wanted to comfort those who were worried about me. Heck, after a while they'll probably think I'm dead. _I'm not dead! Just check my pulse, do something! _I wanted to scream, but of course I couldn't.

Tanhì sat back after a few minutes, and I couldn't turn to see where she went. I listened desperately, and if I had been able I would've jumped a foot in the air at the sound that filled the air.

It was my baby, and she was crying for me. A mournful note that made the air shiver around us and the rain fade into the background, like the tinkling of bells that clashed with the desolate tone of sorrow.

_No, no, no! Little Star, look at me, look at me and see that I'm breathing! _

Minutes passed like seconds, and I soon lost track of time. Had it been hours? Was it close to dawn?

Sevin stopped shaking me after a time, and at the sight of Tanhì her eyes closed shut furiously, and she collapsed over my limp form, her tiny fists clenching into fists and her sobs filling the air.

"_Rä'ä_…_ rä'ä_…"

Don't…don't…

The roar of my baby nearly overwhelmed the girl's pleas, and my chest was heavy as the girl buried her face into my shoulder, screaming my name and pleading with me.

"_Rutxe_! _Rutxe_!"

Please! Please!

Tanhì's roars were suddenly cut off, and I frantically listened to the new sounds that filled the air. The sound of feet crashing through the brush, and I heard a voice cry out my name, and my heart beat faster, with uplifting joy.

"Sara!"

I knew that Kinak would come for me.

And to make things even better, I was starting to feel my body again, slowly but surely. It was a tingling in my skin, like an electrical current that slowly eased my body out of paralysis. I twitched a finger, and relished at the movement, only to find that the rest of me was still numb. My foot was starting to throb terribly, but I almost embraced the pain, it was better than the infuriating numbness of before.

"Sara, Sara!" Kinak's voice rose in pitch as I did not respond to his call, and he ran over to where Sevin was crying over my body. I couldn't see his face, but could only listen as Kinak gently spoke.

"Sevin…what–"

Sevin screamed at him. "She's not moving! She was…just…" Her voice cracked, and I heard another pair of footsteps come closer, and the sound of Sevin's footsteps as she ran towards the sound. I heard the soothing hushes of a woman, and assumed that Sevin had rushed to be comforted.

Kinak gently turned me onto my back, and could only see part of his face, that familiar face that was dominated by deep golden eyes. Such pretty eyes…I wonder why I hadn't noticed them before.

A calloused hand touched my face, and he leaned down to press his ear to my chest, and I felt his warm cheek touch my collarbone as he listened for a heartbeat. Kinak was so warm…just like the sun he loved so much.

My hand jerked into movement seemingly of its own accord, and I let it rest gently on the top of his head, taking deep breaths as the rest of my body also jerked to life. Kinak quickly moved away, and I blinked quickly to rid my eyelashes of the downpour of raindrops. I let my hand fall to my side weakly, my muscles were unbelievably watery and frail still; the poison must've been hard for my body to fight off.

But Kinak caught my hand before it fell, and slowly and tenderly cupped it within his much larger one, holding it close to his chest where his heart was beating strongly. I sighed in contentment, and smiled at him.

"Hi."

Kinak's breath released in a gasp, and a blinding smile lit up his face as he laced his fingers with mine.

"Hello." He whispered, and I could see that he was trying to hide the way his voice cracked in relief. I laughed softly, and let my head lean back against his arm that moved to cradle my upper body protectively, offering me some protection against the rain.

It was silent for a moment, and Kinak suddenly spoke again. "Your hair is down."

I looked up at him, a smile on my face.

"You noticed?"

"Of course."

But there was something in his voice, and I frowned as I studied his face. "What is it?"

Kinak stared down at me with an unreadable expression, and he sighed before leaning down so our foreheads were touching, his eyes closing in relief. It was then that I saw how scared he had been. I smiled, and closed my eyes, ignoring the rain, ignoring the pain in my foot, and ignoring the sound of Lielu talking to Sevin.

You know, now that I think about it, it had always been like this with Kinak and me. Even when we weren't close, we always had this silent communication that allowed us to let each other know what we were thinking without saying a word.

In that moment, as he held me close, I knew that we were both thinking the exact same thing. He'd probably never say it out loud, because he's just mysterious and stubborn like that, and I'd probably never say it because there was no point in repeating what was already set in stone.

_I love you_.


	23. My Child

Hey you guys!!!

Here's the next chapter, so i hope you like it!

this is a happy chapter, i liked writing it, but it seemed a bit forced at times. Does it seem choppy or forced to you guys? please review and let me know.

oh, and alchohol is mentioned in this chapter and thankfully, i dont know how many shots of vodka it takes to get extremely drunk. I have no idea how getting drunk works, so please dont get all huffy cuz i got it wrong or anything...

_

* * *

Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _Tipani Clan Hometree

_Date:_ January 18, 2155

***

_Entry 12_

_ For all of you at the base who are possibly reading this, these last few days have felt like a century, which probably sounds weird because for most people, not a lot can happen in two days. _

_Nothing _really_ interesting came up…besides the fact that I spent all night in the pouring rain, looking for a lost Na'vi girl, making tsahaylu with Tanhì, getting attacked by a slinger, and being temporarily paralyzed by the creature's poison while my Prince Charming came to save me._

_ But that last part made it all worth it. _

_ Oh, but _who_ is my Prince Charming? I'm not going to tell you just yet. It's still kind of new to me so I'm enjoying the secrecy of it –everyone in my clan knows somehow, so the whole secrecy thing is more of a mental thing – before I get up the courage to tell Jake and Norm and everyone else back at the base. _

_ Of course, this was true until I woke up all but an hour ago, when Kinak walked over to me and told me that we were visiting the Omaticaya later that afternoon. I didn't argue – 1) because I was just finally able to walk again after Sänume purged the poison from me body, and 2) because I wanted to get outside so badly that I would even toss the fear of facing my friends into the wind. Well, that technically wouldn't work because it was still raining outside, so the chance of throwing anything into the wind without it being forced back to the ground in less than a second was kind of low. _

_ And, of course, because I knew that Kinak wanted to go see some of his friends in the Omaticaya that he made during the RDA battle. Since he hung out with me a lot – I was still leaning some finer details on the language…it was much easier now that I had gotten the basics down – I assumed that he needed some well-earned "guy time". _

_ A few of the other warriors wanted to come as well, and soon we had a small group of children who wanted to accompany us also. I wish I could've taken a picture of Kinak's face as a few of the younger kids threw themselves onto his legs when their mothers told them they couldn't come with us, wrapping their legs and arms around him so he couldn't shake them off. It was quite a sight, seeing him walk around awkwardly with three little blue bundles on each leg. _

_ I got a message from Max the other day, asking me how I was doing and if I needed anything from the base. _

_ Kinak was sitting next to me in my padded bed on the bottom floor – I seem to end up in those quite often, don't I? – his tail inconspicuously tracing light patterns along my lower back as I read that message, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud. _

_ Not half a year ago, I would've been sobbing my heart out about how lonely I was, and would be demanding lots of chocolate from the base to ease my pain – yes; they have chocolate at the base. The RDA Program may be crazy, but _no one_ is cruel enough to leave stressed scientists and soldiers without chocolate for years at a time. _

_ I smiled at the memory of sprinting to the cupboard before anyone else was awake – there was a certain amount of chocolate stocked in the cupboard each day, and if you weren't careful the entire box would be gone before breakfast – only to find Norm Spellman perched up on the counter, tossing chocolate bars down to a thrilled Jake Sully. I had never seen them around the base before, which meant that they had come on the launch that had arrived the day before. How they found out about the chocolate after only a day of being here at the base, I will never know. Probably because chocolate has its own gravitational pull. _

_ That was my first time ever meeting Jake Sully and Norm Spellman, and we spent the morning locked up in Norm and Jake's room, introducing ourselves and stuffing our faces with chocolate. Ah…good memories. _

_ Whoever is reading this, can you please_

_ Oh god._

_ I just realized that I haven't sent any journal entries back the base since Jake and Norm visited me. That means that there's two journal entries that I haven't sent! Oh no! They must think I'm like, dead or something! _

_ Gah! _

_End of Entry 12_

* * *

I groaned as I saved my current entry and quickly moved the other two that were unsent to an attachment file that would be clipped onto this recent one. I heard soft footsteps behind me, and turned to see Sänume walking towards me with a worried frown. I immediately clicked send and put away my laptop, turning to greet her with a smile.

After our formalities were out of the way, she offered a hand and I quickly took it, pulling slightly to allow my legs to get under me. Once I was standing, she stared intently into my eyes as she organized her thoughts for a moment, finally speaking in Na'vi, which I had come to expect from my leader, who was less inclined to learn English.

"Sara, did Jakesully or Neytiri give permission for any of the dreamwalkers to enter our territory?"

I frowned, tilting my head slightly. "No, I don't think he did. Even if he didn't say anything about it, I doubt that anyone would want to travel this far into the forest…"

But even as I said it, I remembered that figure by the water, with that metal container. What was he or she doing there, and why? I had never remembered to ask Jake or Max about it, but now I think I had to, just to make sure. It could've been some scientist taking a sample, but why wouldn't they just approach me?

Unless they had something to hide.

I let out a breath, and Sänume's eyes flashed to my face in suspicion.

"You know something, don't you…Sara."

"Yes, I do."

"Am I also right in assuming that you won't tell me just yet?"

I looked up at her, and she was smiling slightly.

"You are too easy to read, my _'evi_."

And with that she strode off, without once looking back. I was left frowning after her, wondering what she had just called me. I had a feeling that it wasn't derogative, like _skxawng – _even that wasn't really derogative, the intensity of it's meaning depended largely on who was saying it and their relationship with the recipient.

I spotted Lielu walking into Hometree with numerous bundles of long grass under her arm and a smile on her face as she met the eyes of O'tak, who was sanding a new bow with a rough patch of moss.

I called her name, and ran over to help her as she made her way to the weaving area. She thanked me, and I shouldered the bundles as I asked.

"Lielu, what does 'evi mean?"

Lielu smiled slightly, and put down her bundles, untying them with gentle fingers. "It is an affectionate form of "child", or "kid"."

I blinked, and stared over to where Sänume was talking to a group of women, her face fierce and proud as usual. But those eyes softened when she saw a little girl wobbling on her unsteady legs, her small tail stretched out for balance. The young mother was occupied with her food preparation, and looked over as the girl started to fall. Sänume quickly bent down to scoop the little girl up, and the child giggled as Sänume leaned in to rub their noses together affectionately. The mother looked on with a small smile, and Sänume swung the child around for a moment before returning her to her mother.

The look was gone after an instant, but I was sure that for a moment, I saw a deep sadness in the leader's eyes as they stared at the young child who was nuzzling into her mother's shoulder. But when she turned, it was gone, and I wasn't sure if I imagined it or not.

Lielu saw where I was looking, and began spreading out the leaves. "Sänume never took a mate, because she felt that she would not give him the attention he needed when she was so involved with the problems of the clan. She also had no children because of that."

I frowned. "Do you think she never wanted children?"

Lielu sighed. "Our leader is not to be bothered with such things as child-birth when she has duties to her clan."

I pursed my lips in disagreement, but didn't argue.

I heard a banshee call behind me, and turned to see Kinak landing on his banshee just outside, the rain making rivers on their skin and making strands of hair fall into Kinak's eyes.

I felt my throat growing tight, and my heart beat faster as I watched him dismiss his banshee to huddle under the large enclosure that was on the opposite side of the direhorse enclosure. His long, muscular arms swung slightly as he walked quickly into the main area, and he shook his head to rid his hair of water. Lielu smiled mischiviously as she looked to where I was staring.

"You really…"

I smiled nervously at her, staring at my knees.

"You're good for him, you know." Lielu whispered, glancing at Kinak, who was now looking for someone in the area with those almond shaped eyes.

"What?" I stammered, surprised that this goddess of a girl was saying that I – painfully average – was good for Kinak.

"You heard me. You've helped heal his heart of those wounds left by the Skypeople. Before you came, he hated all the dreamwalkers that came here to study our way of life. He hated them, and we found out later that it was for good reason, as they tried to take over Kelutral with their guns." Lielu hissed dangerously, and I saw the memories rushing through her golden eyes before she went on.

"That was the Skypeople were forbidden to come to our territory, because of the hate he put in the young people's minds. They were to blame for everything, and it led to much conflict with others clans, like the Omaticaya, who were fairly accepting of the Skypeople. But even now that the battle is over…some are still resentful."

"Wait, then why did Sänume ask for me to be a Tipani clan member?"

Lielu smiled, and I glanced behind me to see that Kinak was walking towards us. "She didn't see a human when she looked at you, like she does sometimes with Jakesully, she saw a Na'vi. That is what she told me when we saw you after your transformation into One of The People."

Kinak had reached us now, and smiled slightly at Lielu before turning to me. "Are you ready to go?"

I nodded, and looked toward Lielu expectantly. She shook her head. "I can't…I promised O'tak I would hunt with him this afternoon."

I raised my eyebrows suggestively, and Lielu flushed at my expression as Kinak frowned. "You won't find much prey in this rain."

"Most likely not." Lielu muttered, turning away to hide her face. I snorted, and got to my feet, pulling Kinak away before he could embarrass her further.

"What is so funny?" Kinak asked as I let go of his hand and made to head up to the banshee perches. On foot, the journey to the Omaticaya would take a few hours, on direhorse it would take much longer, so the group of us was traveling by banshee, even though it was raining.

I smirked, and waved before turning to run up the branches, my tail stretching out to balance me as I danced from branch to branch with ease, a smile on my face as I reached the perch. It was rainy and wet, so I walked carefully out onto the ledge, feeling the rush of cold rainwater soak through my hair and drip down my face and shoulders. I called Atan, who crooned in greeting as he swooped down to land unsteadily on the mossy branch. I patted his slick neck as I made the bond, and swung onto his back, securing the straps of the saddle-like contraption and flipping on the goggles that a young woman named Nyla had lent me before diving off of the branch and joining Kinak and the other warriors in the wet, rainy sky.

Kinak smiled at me, and I playfully whipped his banshee's tail with Atan's as I passed, and his smile grew as our group set out towards the Hometree of the Omaticaya.

* * *

It was earl afternoon that Hometree came into sight, and seeing it made my chest swell and my heart beat faster, because this is where my best friends were, breathing and alive.

I sank into a steep dive, a grin spreading across my face as I spiraled downward, feeling the wings of my banshee shift as we spun, and the rain whipping at my face. It was exhilarating, and I heard the calls of other Omaticaya banshee riders who had spotted our group. I smiled, and pulled out of the dive as we reached the banshee perch, and I jumped off to land on the slippery moss. I lost my balance, and would've fallen had it not been for Kinak, who was behind me. His arm, which had tightened around my waist to keep me from falling, loosened, but his hand remained on my hip, his fingers warm and secure. I blushed at his smirk, and stepped away from him smiling to myself as I made my way down the branches, where Jake and Neytiri were waiting.

I grinned as I saw them, and ran forward to give each of them a hug.

"It's been way too long, you guys!" I whispered, and took a step back. Kinak moved to stand just behind me, smiling slightly at Jake's puzzled expression, and Neytiri's shocked one.

Jake coughed lightly, and nodded to Kinak. "Who is this, Sara?"

I smiled widely, and reached back to take Kinak's hand and lead him forward. "Jake, this is my…uh…friend, Kinak. Kinak, this is…well, you probably know who they are, so never mind."

Neytiri had a small smile on her face, and I blushed at the knowing glint in her eyes. Jake, however, just smiled warmly and greeted Kinak.

"Kinak? Weren't you the one who saved Sara from that thanator a while ago?"

"Yes, Jakesully."

"Please, call me Jake. I never got to thank you properly for that. Sara's a tricky one," I smacked him over the head, and Neytiri covered her mouth with her hand to cover her smile. "but life just wouldn't be the same without her. So, thank you."

Kinak nodded in response, and I smiled at him before playfully glaring at Jake.

"You better believe that life wouldn't be the same without me! Don't forget how many times I saved you and Norm's butts back in the RDA…"

Jake laughed at the memories, and his eyes were fond as they remembered.

"Ah…those were good times, weren't they?"

I nodded, and I caught sight of an Avatar driver teaching a group of children just outside of Hometree, and but my lip anxiously. Kinak noticed my expression immediately, and took my hand to reassure me. Jake's eyes flashed to our intertwined fingers, and his eyebrows shot up in realization. Before he could start yelling, I quickly spoke.

"Jake, I need you to take me to the Station."

Jake frowned. "What's up, Sara?"

Kinak cleared his throat. "Hopefully, it is nothing. But our leader has something to suspect, and Sara must speak to the Skypeople with dream walker bodies."

I nodded, and Jake shrugged. "Okay, sure. It's not that far of a walk, so let's just head there on foot."

Neytiri nodded, and followed her mate as we all headed out towards the forest.

Kinak moved ahead of me, next to Neytiri, and the two of them were softly talking to each other as we made our way through the brush. Jake and I joked and chatted about our lives within separate clans a ways behind, his head bending close to mine.

Jake looked ready to burst with excitement, and whispered. "Neytiri's pregnant!"

I squealed in shock and in excitement, and hugged Jake tightly, both of us laughing. "Oh my God, Jake, congratulations!"

"Thanks! I wanted to send a message to you, but Neytiri made me wait until we were sure. It's been a month now since she suspected it, and her mother says that it's for sure!"

I hugged him again, and we began walking once more, me being still jittery from the unexpected but pleasant surprise. Jake would make such a good father, I knew that for a fact.

Jake grinned at me evilly. "So…what's going on between you and _Kinak_." He said Kinak's name in a sweet sing-song voice, and I blushed in embarrassment, turning away.

"Nothing that you should be concerned with!"

"Oh, _really_? Then there is something? Oh Kinak, oh Kinak, whatever would I do without you?" Jake sang, making his way towards Kinak on his tiptoes, waving his arms around like a ballerina. I tackled him, and he laughed at my livid face.

"What, Sara?"

"Shut up!"

Jake leaned in mischievously, his eyes smug. "Oh? How are you going to do that?"

I thought for a bit, and then smiled slowly, getting up and standing over him.

"I'll tell Neytiri about The Incident."

Jake's face paled, and he sat up faster than I would've thought possible. "You _wouldn't_."

"You bet I would, mister."

"That was so long ago!"

"Dude, it scarred me for life, I'm not going to forget it in a hurry!"

"Oh c'mon, Sara!"

I smirked at his horrified expression. The Incident had happened when Norm, Jake and I had managed to sneak two bottles of vodka into Jake and Norm's room – nothing could ever happen in my room since I shared it with Max, who was such a goody-two-shoes. By the time we had finished the first one and half of the second one, I could barely stand and Jake was on he floor, giggling and chattering like a four year old. Norm was already out of it, facedown and snoring somewhere to my right. Jake had said some weird crap about how he'd always thought I was cute, and then he pulled me down to the floor with him and kissed me. And I don't mean just kissed me, I mean he _kissed_ me. It wasn't like it was a bad kiss or anything – Jake was pretty darn hot, so I enjoyed it a bit more than I should've, but let's just keep that between us – it was just that I was friends with Jake, that was what I was comfortable with. I doubt that I could ever see him romantically, especially now that he has Neytiri.

Of course, one good thing had come out of it. _Excellent_ blackmail material, and I planned to take full advantage of it. Would I ever _really_ tell Neytiri? Probably not…but it'll be good to put a bit of a scare into Jake for a change.

"Will you shut up about me and Kinak then?"

"Awww…but–"

"Oh Neytiiiirrrriiii!"

"Okay, fine!"

"Thank you."

Jake tackled me without warning, and the sound made Kinak and Neytiri both look back at us for the first time. Frankly, I'm surprised that they didn't notice us earlier, seeing how loud we were.

Jake and I smiled unconcernedly, ignoring the fact that Jake was sitting on me, effectively squashing me, and that I was pulling on his tail. The two looked at each other, and rolled their eyes at almost the exact same time.

They then walked off, as though deeming our situation too immature to even consider dealing with. I looked at Jake, and he at me, and we both started laughing.


	24. LifeGiving Tree

_And so it begins..._

Hey everyone! Hope you like this chapter, it's where the REAL plot begins!

Please review!

* * *

The first feeling that arose within my heart – it made me stop as we stood before the smooth area of concrete that had once served to receive incoming RDA ships, the metal buildings and forlorn machines looming like forlorn ghosts – was not hate or anger, which surprised me greatly.

No…I did not hate this place; I could not hate this place.

For even though my body had forgotten, my mind did not let those memories here escape so easily. This had been my home for six long years, and with it the good times and the bad intermixed into one flood of experience that left me incredibly relieved that I was no longer a part of this…and a little homesick at the same time.

Bittersweet.

Yes, that was the word I was looking for, the only one that could effectively describe my feelings in this moment, and even then it only scratched the surface.

I felt Kinak move next to me, both of us staring at Neytiri and Jake as they made their way across the concrete, and I didn't have to look at him to feel the suspicion and resentment radiating from him in waves of at the sight of this forsaken place. Everything about the place showed traces of the damage it had caused. The chemical smell was sharp and arid in my nose even though the rain still falling should've lessened the scent, the concrete harsh and barren in comparison to the soft ground and moss of the forests, and there was a tense feel to the air…as if something was waiting to snap at any moment. The feeling of military orderliness remained even after all the soldiers had gone.

But there were also changes, and they made the pressure in my chest lessen slightly, and I smiled as I gently pulled Kinak forward.

The forest had a mind of its own, that much was clear after all these years, and so it wasn't surprising that without the constant smoke and flame that arrived along with the incoming ships, the plants were beginning to take over the base once more. The stone was cracked, small plants poking through and shedding some life on the dead cold ground of the past. Vines were slowly and steadily creeping up the sides of the building, but carefully avoiding the area around the windows. Thank God that the RDA had thought to put electrical shields around the windows of the base, so nothing could break the glass and risk the lives of the humans inside.

That was another thought…could I – with my Na'vi lungs – breath inside the base, which was supplied with oxygen? I somehow doubted it, and didn't want to try it any time soon. I remembered seeing a rookie soldier almost choke to death when his mask broke…not the most pleasant sight, in case you were wondering.

The concrete was cold and slippery with the left-over oil under my feet, and I blinked to get the water out of my eyes as we jogged to catch up with Jake and Neytiri, who were standing by the grassy Avatar Training Field, where several large buildings with doorways large enough to accommodate Na'vi sized beings, and I saw Jake leaning down to smile at a short man with dark hair and a curly beard, his dark eyes shining with joy as he chatted with Jake and bowed politely to Neytiri. A clear umbrella was held in one hand, shielding him from the sheets of water. I started running, and Kinak quickly quickened his pace to match mine.

Max Patel.

My best friend besides Jake and Norm, and in a way he was even closer than either of them. He had been by my side for five and a half long years before Jake and Norm came, he knew me so well that I was betting that he could read my thoughts without even looking at me.

Huh. Now that I'm thinking about my best friends, why was it that I didn't make any female friends at the base? I had plenty of opportunity…oh whatever; I'll figure it out later.

Max turned at the sound of my footsteps, and his eyes widened as he stared at me.

"S-Sara? Is that you?"

I grinned at his surprised expression, and swept him up in a tight hug, lifting him several feet off the ground. The umbrella fell to the ground, and Kinak hissed as the plastic came into contact with his leg, and quickly moved away from it.

I had never really gotten over how fragile humans were, and was careful to allow him room to breathe as I danced around excitedly.

"Max! It's so good to see you again! I have so much to tell you, and–"

Max gently hugged me back the best he could. "I probably know most of it, you're pretty detailed in your journals. And Norm and Jake have told me things as well, from the last time they visited your new clan."

I laughed, and set Max down on his feet once more. I reached down and handed him his umbrella, and he took it slowly, staring up at me with a small smile on his face.

"You haven't changed a bit."

I frowned, but before I could answer, Max abruptly turned to Kinak, who was staring at us with shocked eyes. He wasn't used to such obvious displays of affection between friends – or even between _us_, to be perfectly frank. I could see the stern, hostile looking coming onto his face, and my mouth turned down in an angry snarl.

I don't care what he did to anyone in his clan – well, I _did_, but since he had already dug his own hole in terms of his reputation, there wasn't much I could do. But when my _friends _are involved…oh boy.

Kinak and I were both shocked when Max raised his hand in the formal greeting of the Na'vi, and greeted Kinak without a single mispronunciation. His dark eyes held the golden gaze of Kinak's for a few long moments after Kinak had returned the gesture, his movements stiff and cold. I could see that Kinak was still wary, and I pursed my lips as I raised my eyebrows at him. He frowned at me, his eyes narrowed.

He did not like this place, but he had come anyway. Why?

Jake interrupted our silent conversation, clearing his throat. "Uh, Max, are there any Avatar drivers out?"

"Well, Janet is out at the Omaticaya Hometree, giving English lessons. Other than that, no one is out. They all would prefer to be inside than tramping around in this rain…"

Neytiri smiled warmly at my human friend, and I saw Max flush in embarrassment. Why didn't _my_ smiles do that?

I shook my head. "Okay, that's fine. Is there a way to send Janet a message, to warn her about the disconnection?"

Max nodded, and I went on. "Also, I need all of the Avatar drivers in one of the Avatar huts as soon as possible. Tell them it's important."

Max nodded – one of the things I loved about him, he was perceptive enough to sense that this was not a good time to ask questions. Jake and Neytiri exchanged glances, and I turned away from them, making my way to one of the larger Avatar huts. I sighed when the concrete turned into grass, and my feet seemed to relax at the familiar feeling of grass and dirt.

Kinak was close behind me, and I glanced back at him, to see that he was scowling.

"Kinak, let me make one thing clear, before everyone gets here." I reached the hut, and turned to stare at him. "I understand your reasons for not liking humans, I really do. But there also comes a time when you need to put grudges aside, and that time is now. These people are not the soldiers that pulled the trigger on your people; these people are not the ones who tried to destroy the Tree of Souls. These people are peaceful scientists who want nothing more than to study the environment and the creatures that inhabit it."

"They are humans, and humans are all the same."

I flinched at the harsh tone in Kinak's voice, and smiled slightly.

"You seem to forget that I was also a human, and still am, inside. Am I the same as the people who killed hundreds of innocent Na'vi?"

Kinak blinked, and his lips tightened as he reached out to let his fingers brush against my cheek. I reached up to touch the back of his hand, keeping it against my face, and continued.

"You know that that's not true, Kinak. I am not one of those soldiers, and neither is Max or any scientist here. They would never do anything to harm the Na'vi, I promise."

"You have too much faith in them, Sara."

I blinked, and before I could speak, Max came outside with a group of scientists – about twenty or twenty-five – who all had oxygen masks securely strapped to their faces and large jackets and umbrellas to shield them from the rain. The sound of their boots against the concrete brought memories of years past…lines of soldiers marching, with guns clattering and clicking at their sides, the sound of Colonel Quaritch walking back and forth in front of the troops, a smug smirk on his scarred face.

I let out a shaky breath, and forced a smile on my face as I waved to Max, so he could lead the others into the hut that Kinak and I were currently standing in front of. I gave Kinak one last look, and slipped inside the hut, shaking my head to try and get some of the water out of my hair. I glanced around with a sigh of relief, there were no Avatar bodies in this hut, only padded wooden benches and chairs.

I heard Kinak cautiously follow me, and he didn't meet my eyes as he strode over to the far corner, and leaned against the wall, shifting so he would be able to easily draw his bow.

I rolled my eyes at him, and quickly moved the benches so they were linked in the middle of the room, forming a long line for the scientists to sit side by side. I chose one of the benches – they were made with humans in mind, so I had a bench to myself – and placed it in front of the line of chairs, and fingered my tail between my hands nervously.

I had never been a good public speaker, but I was better now. I knew that I had nothing to fear here, nothing to be afraid of. I was experienced enough in the branches of science that these scientists could not intimidate me. Well, I doubt they would try and intimidate someone who is nearly two times their size, but you never know.

I glanced at Kinak once more before Max came in, and found that he was staring at me. I bit my lip, and a smirk crossed his lips before his eyes darted to the door, watching intently as the Avatar drivers filed in.

A few of them looked shocked, and they blinked at me a few times before rushing forward.

"Sara Mason? Is that you?"

"Oh my goodness, it's Sara!"

"You're that Mason girl? I heard about what happened, but I never…"

One of the men – his name was Tyler, and he was a few years younger than I was – blushed sheepishly, and smiled quickly before looking away.

"Wow…I mean, it's better than Neytiri, but _still_…"

I frowned, and saw that his eyes glanced up and down my body and looked down to see the band of leather covering my chest and the secure loincloth that was tied around my waist. I had several armbands on, as well as a necklace Kinak had given me. My hair was back in its usual braids, with numerous beads tied at the ends – each was carefully carved with a picture of a thanator – given to me by Sevin's mother.

I looked up to see Neytiri walk in, and noticed for the first time her lack of chest covering and her much smaller and narrower loincloth, and burst out laughing as I realized what he was talking about.

Jake and Neytiri both frowned, glancing at Kinak in a hope that he would explain why I was laughing, but he just shrugged and went back to glaring at the crowd of scientists that were seating themselves along the line of benches.

I quickly composed myself, giggling a bit when Neytiri walked into my line of vision again. I straightened on my seat, and smiled at the scientists who were staring at me expectantly.

"Okay, first of all, thanks for coming. I'm sure that this isn't what you guys had planned this afternoon."

One of the women laughed loudly. "Oh don't worry, Sara, we weren't doing anything important."

Tyler scoffed. "Hey, I was _this_ close to winning that last pair!"

The young woman rolled her eyes. "Ty, you definitely weren't."

"That's what they _all_ say when they're about to lose!"

I frowned as the two huffed at each other, and looked to the others for an explanation.

One of Max's closest colleagues – Kira, was it? – whispered. "They were playing Go-Fish."

Jake burst out laughing – I was trying my hardest not to start laughing as well. Kinak cleared his throat, and I turned to see him glaring at me. Oh yeah.

Some of the scientists turned at the sound, and their eyes widened at the sight of Kinak.

"Who is that?" Kira asked softly, and I smiled.

"Everyone, this is Kinak of the Tipani Clan. He is a good friend of mine."

Kinak did not smile, nor did he wave. He just gave each person a cool stare, and most of them quickly lost interest in him. I sighed, and rubbed my hands against my knees for a moment before beginning.

"Alright everyone, as you probably know, I've been getting into quite a lot of trouble in the last couple months with the Tipani." There was a ripple of agreement that faded as I continued. "Well, this occurred right after my close call with the thanator, a few months ago. I came onto a sacred tree, like the Tree of Souls, that was surrounded by a pool of water. And…I saw someone kneeling by the water, with a metal container in their hands."

The hut was completely silent, and the only sound was the pounding of the rain outside. The scientists were wide-eyed, their faces filled with various levels of shock.

"Now, I know that it couldn't have been a Na'vi, because they had human clothes on, and I know for a fact that no Na'vi clan member would be caught dead handling anything made by the Skypeople, definitely not anything electronic or chemical."

I swallowed, and Jake nodded in encouragement, his face serious and thoughtful as he swept his gaze over the line of scientists.

"I need to know who it was by the water that night, and I would prefer it if whoever it was stepped up and came clean. Because if no one does, I can just check the log records, and pinpoint who was in link at that time."

I looked around at the stunned faces, and sighed, leaning forward and massaging my temples, closing my eyes for a moment before lifting my head and folding my fingers under my chin.

"If you guys don't want to tell me in front of everyone else, that's fine. I'll be hanging around for the next few days, so you'll be able to speak to either Jake or me privately." Jake smiled at the scientists encouragingly, and few of them smiled in return, but I saw that all of them were wary of each other, glancing around nervously.

I stood. "That's all, in case anyone has questions?" I looked around, but no one spoke. I watched silently as the humans filed out, their shoulders tense and somber, so different from the light and cheerful air they had entered the hut with. I felt almost guilty, but pushed the feeling aside as Jake and Neytiri approached me.

Jake bit his lip. "Sara, this is serious. I know for a fact that we didn't give anyone permission to travel to your territory. In fact, it was strictly forbidden, because of that tree you spoke of."

I frowned, and Neytiri sighed. "It is known as the Life-Giving Tree, and it is one of the most powerful connections to Eywa that the Na'vi possess, because of its ability to link with all forms of life on this planet."

My eyes widened, and Neytiri smiled slightly, taking my hand and pulling me down so we were sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"Sit, Sara. I will tell you the tale of the Life-Giving Tree."

I nodded, and felt a nervous flutter in my chest at the grave look on Neytiri's face.

Kinak's hand suddenly found mine, and I felt him sitting beside me, his tail gently wrapping around mine. I let out a breath, and his thumb gently traced patterns into the back of my hand.

I suddenly felt so much better.


	25. Twisting Tales Part 1

okay, here's the next chapter! I felt so, so, so shaky on this chapter...i hope that i didnt screw up too badly. It just felt so...i dont know...weird...

hope you guys like it!

_**IMPORTANT CHALLENGE/WEIRD IMPULSE OF AUTHOR**_: Since you guys will probably be wondering what the heck is going on by the end of this, i'm going to help you out with the whole POV thing at the end of the chapter. But for those who like a challenge...let's see if you can interpret what the regular text represents and what the italics represent. Please, tell me what you guessed (not after reading the answer at the bottom) from the information given in the chapter. I'm curious to see if you guys will be able to guess it.

Please review!

* * *

In the time before the First Songs, the Na'vi people were a savage people. There was no Eywa to revere and love, no tsahaylu to treasure and adore. There was only survival, and there was but a fragmented clan, a nameless clan that was separated by hatred and resentment. No one could see beyond what was given to them, and their eyes were clouded by the hardship of everyday life.

The creatures of the land only sought to kill the Na'vi, and many were taken by the palulukan…so many lives taken by the Bringer of Fear, as your language calls it. The people were in distress as their numbers began to dwindle…

* * *

_I felt my heart racing as I hid behind the tree whose roots were stretched into a kind of spiral pattern under my feet. My hair was in tangles, not that it really mattered. Cleanliness wasn't really on anyone's mind when in the middle of an inner-clan conflict. Though they happened on a daily basis, it was hard to get used to it. _

_ And unlike my brothers, I wasn't looking forward to battling with the southern camp, our greatest enemy. _

_ I heard my mother screaming my name. _

_ "Arana, where are you?" _

_ But I remained silent, knowing that if I answered her she would leave the shelter of the neutral zone to come look for me._

_ How could they still call us a clan after all this time? It was more like a constant battlefield, children kept out of sight, babies nearly invisible until full grown, because of the fear mothers had for their safety. This was not a clan, this was not a family. This was a broken society, a sad and torn society that had no one else to blame but each other. _

_ I heard the cries of angry fighters as they tackled each other, and the voice of my eldest brother Elute as he fought with one of the southern warriors raised above all the rest. _

_ The sad part of this was that the real reason for all this fighting had been absent for so many years that I could no longer remember how long it had been. My brothers and sisters, cousins and friends…they were all fighting to avenge some unknown thing taken from them. _

_ No one knew why the hatred was there, instead fighting just to fight…and by this time I was crying just to cry as I slid down until I was kneeling on the smooth bark, the tears making smooth paths through the grime that covered my cheeks. _

_ A hiss filled the air, and my eyes slowly opened to see a young man not much older than myself standing there before me, his eyes large with the energy of battle, and the tip of his knife inches from my throat. _

_ I smiled brokenly, and held up my knife. _

_ "Go ahead. Kill me. I've suffered enough."_

_ The smooth handle slipped between my fingers, and the knife fell uselessly to the ground. _

_ The warrior before me was calm as his green eyes followed the dagger as it fell, and I felt my heart beginning to pump frantically as he stepped forward until his knife was touching my throat. I flinched, and he leaned in. _

_ "Why do you not fight?" _

_ "I…do not hate the southern camp, or anyone else in this so-called _clan_. I never have. Why should I waste my anger and vengeance against someone who has done me no wrong?" _

_ "Your camp is evil."_

_ I laughed again, and the sounds of battle seemed to fade away as I spoke. "What have I done? What have I done to deserve your hate? Please, tell me. I am of the northern camp, you are of the southern, but are we really that different? My skin is as blue as yours, my hair just as black. We call ourselves a clan, but that could not be farther from the truth." _

_ The young man blinked slowly, and he stared at me with those deep green eyes that were so unusual for the people of the Na'vi. Golden eyes were more common; while only a small number had green intermixed with the gold. For the eyes to be completely green was extremely rare. _

_ I closed my eyes once more, tensing in preparation for that knife to sink into my flesh. _

_ I was shocked when I heard a thunk beside my head, and opened my eyes to see that the young man was gone, his dagger impeded deeply into the bark. I let out my breath in a gasp, my heart still racing. _

_ I was about to run away back to my camp, but the bright blue-green handle of the dagger caught my eye, shining in the sunlight that bathed the battlefield with its radiance. Deeply etched into the pommel was the mark of the southern camp – a diamond with a dot in the center. I glanced at my own dagger – the symbol marked there was a circle with a line vertically going through it – and bent down with a sigh. _

_ When my dagger was safely in its sheath, I hesitated, and then quickly grabbed the other warrior's dagger as well, holding it in my hand while effectively covering the southern camp symbol. _

_

* * *

_

The Na'vi did not live in Kelutral, instead making large camps in the forest, with fire around the area to ward off predators. They all lived separately into camps of different directions: north, south, east and west.

It was so separate that members of different directions were not allowed to befriend each other or take each other as a mate – mates were not chosen by Eywa back then, instead being arranged by the parents for status within their camp– and if they were seen together they were banished from the clan.

And so it was for many years.

* * *

_I sat in a circular branch that hung far above the forest floor, twirling the small southern camp dagger in my hand. I smiled as I compared it to my own knife, only to find that they were exactly the same. _

_ But then the southern camp symbol caught my eye, and the image of similarity was shattered as I glanced at my own northern camp symbol. _

_ Two different worlds. Who was I kidding to imagine that we could all live together? _

_ I glanced up as a lean figure slowly slid down the vine that hung just beside my seat, and a lean figure swung to land on the opposite branch from me, his mouth in a snarl of suspicion. It was the young man from before, but I wasn't surprised. I had been watching him for the past few weeks…and had found out that he patrolled during the hours before dawn. I assumed that he would see me up here, and would come to investigate. _

_ "Why are you in our territory?" _

_ I sighed. "I wasn't aware that we had gone so far as to put boundaries on the trees, but obviously it has come to that." _

_ I stared out at the lightening sky, knowing that it was close to dawn, when my family would wake. They would throw a fit when they found that I was missing, and would probably start another fight with the south, making up some foolish story about how they supposedly kidnapped me to get back at them._

_ The young man scowled even more deeply, and reached back for his knife, and I laughed at the shock that crossed his face as he found that the sheath was empty. I held up the missing object with a smile. _

_ "Looking for this?" _

_ He reached for it, but I held it just out of his reach. _

_ "What is your name?" _

_ His green eyes narrowed, and I rolled my eyes as I spoke. "My name is Arana." _

_ Those eyes stared at me unblinkingly for a few long moments, his mouth opening hesitantly. _

_ "I am Toruk, of the –" _

_ I waved my hand, cutting him off. "I do not care what camp you come from…Toruk is who you are to me. Just Toruk. And I am just Arana." _

_ I stood as the sun broke over the horizon, and looked down at him. _

_ "Nice to meet you…Toruk." _

_ And with that I lightly leapt off the branch, feeling no fear as I fell towards large leaves that were as large and as wide as two full grown men, going limp and allowing myself to slide down to the forest floor. _

_ The look in his eyes – they were the exact color that I saw when the sun shone through a large leaf from one of the trees, a warm and glowing green – was almost surprised…as though he had never experienced kindness, never seen someone smile at him. _

_ I wonder if my thoughts had any basis in truth…or if I was just imagining it…_

_

* * *

_

One day, the clan leader disappeared into the forest, seemingly chasing a light that appeared to him alone.

* * *

_The days turned to weeks, the weeks transformed into months, and the years began to blur together. How many had it been now? Three, four?_

_ I was too happy to keep track anymore. _

_ My tail flicked impatiently behind me as I was pulled forward by Toruk, his blinding smile making my heart melt. _

_ My knife – his knife – was strapped to my waist, and I felt so secure…having that same knife always by my side. It was a symbol of all that we had overcome…what lay in the future for us to overcome. _

_ But now, my mind was focused on Toruk. _

_ "Toruk, what is it?" I asked, and he stopped for a moment, leaning in to kiss me for a moment, making me smile as our tails intertwined. He pulled away, grinning. _

_ "I have to show you something, it's–"_

_ A blinding light suddenly appeared before us, and the power was so overwhelming that I was sent tumbling into the underbrush, Toruk pulled with me. I whipped out my knife, crouched on the ground in a fighting stance, and Toruk strung his bow. _

_ There was a figure standing in the light, and as I watched the light slowly began to fade and the figure became a woman. She was tiny and petite, and for a split second I wanted to scoff at how frightened I had been. But then the figure opened her eyes, and those thoughts were scattered, destroyed completely. _

_ Her eyes were silver, a bright piercing color that made me want to cry and laugh at the same time. The rest of her face was a blur, those eyes so bright and overwhelming that the details of her complexion blended into one another. _

_ Toruk pulled me behind him, his tail touching my leg in worry as the figure smiled. The voice that filled the air was low and gentle, soothing like a lullaby yet as powerful as a hurricane. _

_ "I see you, My Children…and you have finally seen me." _

_ I touched Toruk's arm to calm him as I spoke. "Who are you?" _

_ "I am Eywa, and I know who both of you are. You are the ones who shall lead the way for the rest of My Children, who have lost their way." _

_ Toruk frowned. "But it is impossible." _

_ Those silver eyes smiled at him, and the light was growing once more, pulling us in. _

_ "Nothing is impossible, my Toruk. Nothing is impossible when you have the entire forest on your side." _

_

* * *

_

The leader returned, riding a pa'li and closely followed by an ikran, and he told his people of his meeting with a strange figure named Eywa, and how she had told him how to be one with the pa'li and ikran through tsahaylu – often called the bond. The people adapted to his ways, and the clan united in harmony once more.

* * *

_The rumbling of the pa'li beneath my legs was almost soothing in a way, but the feeling was ruined by the anxious thrumming of my heart. The bond that the creature and I shared was unlike anything I had ever felt before. _

_ I was one with the pa'li, and he was one with me. _

_ Our legs moved in harmony as we raced through the underbrush, and I heard the call of the ikran that soared above our heads, weaving in and out of the branches and tree trunks. Toruk was low on the bright red ikran's neck, and his green eyes often found mine in the silence, and our minds seemed as one in those short moments. _

_ There is no going back now. _

"I see you, My Children, and you have finally seen me."

_Eywa's words resounded in my thoughts, and I urged my pa'li faster. _

_ It was time to make everyone else see, as well. _

_ It was time for the hostility to end. _

_ The air rushed past my skin as we entered the clearing in which the camps were situated, and I watched as the warriors yelled their surprise, backing up and tripping over their feet at the ikran that swooped into the clearing to land in the center of the camp, on the large stone that separated all of the camps. I jumped onto the stone as well, and disconnected my braid from the antennae of the pa'li, patting its neck comfortingly as the camp members began to recover from their shock. _

_ The leader stepped forward, his face paint bright and malicious in the light of the new day. _

_ "What is the meaning of this?" _

_ Toruk smiled slightly, dismounting to stand beside me, his hand finding mine. _

_ There were hushed gasps and murmurs throughout the crowd, and Toruk's father stepped forward. _

_ "You…with, that…a northern–" _

_ "Yes." _

_ My mother was in tears at the sight of us holding hands, and my father's face was black with rage. My brothers were also furious, but my two older sisters were merely curious, their golden eyes absorbing the scene with no hostility or anger. Merely curious. _

_ I took a deep breath, and stepped forward, speaking as loudly as I could. _

_ "I have something to say. Not as a member of the northern camp, but as a member of this clan. Yes, we are a clan, even if some of you want to say that we are not. Do you see how cruel we are becoming? How can you call ourselves a clan when we are always so angry and resentful? This is not how we were meant to live, and I don't intend to stand back and wait for someone to put a stop to it!_

_ "Look at each other, are we really that different?" The people, who were separated into their four camps, glanced around nervously. "We are all the same, and all of us can learn from each other. In order to survive, we need to cooperate! Where has fighting gotten us? Nowhere!" _

_ One of the woman called out. "How are you controlling the pa'li and ikran?" _

_ Toruk stepped forward, and pulled forward the thick braid that hung down his back. "The strands at the end can be connected with the strands of another creature," He gently pulled forward the ikran's antennae to show the clan as he made tsahaylu with the creature, making them both shiver slightly as the feeling settled in. "and it creates a bond called _tsahaylu_. The ikran's thoughts are now my thoughts, and I can control his movements in flight. It is the same with Arana and the pa'li." _

_ I smiled at him. "Now, I know that the tradition is that if a person from another camp associates themselves with another camp, they will be banished. I understand that, and after I am done speaking…" I glanced at Toruk, and he nodded. "…Toruk and I will be leaving this place forever, to start a new clan and live the way we want to. Anyone is free to come with us, if they choose." _

_ "Wait," A young boy spoke. "you mean…that I can ride an ikran as well?" _

_ Toruk smiled at him. "Yes, all of you can. But you'll need to learn how to subdue it so you can make the bond..." _

_ I smiled as well. "The pa'li travel in herds, and if you capture a group of young foals you will have no problem taming them and breeding them, they can help survival in many ways." _

_ I turned back to the crowd. "But we will not force these things upon you. After we leave, you all will be free to live however you choose. But just know that fighting will not achieve anything, and more lives will be taken because of it." _

_ I mounted my pa'li, and Toruk leapt onto his ikran. A sense of bittersweet sadness swept through my heart as I stared at the people who had been my family for as long as I could remember, even if we had been fighting for the time I had known them. Their faces were shocked, but I saw some of them smiling at each other. _

_ My sister stepped forward. _

_ "Sister…I will go with you." _

_ My other sister also came forward. I hugged them, and looked around in shock as more members began to come forward, all from different camps. I felt tears of joy filling my eyes as the people stood around us, all staring at us with smiles on their faces. _

_ Toruk's ikran roared, its wings spreading majestically as the sun broke the tops of the trees, sending a warm glow on the camps, the light warm and soothing on my skin. _

_ With a large group behind us, and the rest watching us with somber faces, we began walking, Toruk flying above us with his braids flying behind him as he soared upwards into the bright gold and pink sky of the early morning. _

_ I looked up, and saw a single creature, barely the size of my fist, floating in the path before us. It glowed with a silvery pink shimmer, and I watched as it twirled once before gently gliding into the trees once more. _

_ "I see you…Eywa." I whispered, and could have sworn that the sound of the wind rushing through the leaves was her way of saying thank you. _

_

* * *

_

The leader of the clan brought peace to the clan, and though he spoke of the light he had seen, he could not remember what it had called itself, or if it had been real at all. And so all was peaceful with the clans for many years.

* * *

I frowned as Neytiri finished, and leaned back on my hands. "Doesn't that seem kind of unrealistic? Not to be rude or anything, but do you really believe that the leader suddenly saw a light and realized that he could bond with a direhorse and banshee?"

Neytiri's ears flattened against her skull, and I quickly backtracked. "I'm sorry, but I'm used to studying facts…and the idea of this being true is just a little too farfetched for me."

Neytiri scoffed angrily. "It is one of our most told stories, and how else could it have happened?"

Kinak was stiff and cold beside me, and I glanced over at him to see his face almost offended, his eyes widened slightly. I touched his arm, and he stared at me with those deep golden eyes. He seemed like he was about to say something, but then Jake interrupted.

"Never mind that now. Neytiri, let's move on to the Life-Giving Tree part."

Neytiri nodded, and we all listened as she continued.

* * *

The whole POV deal:

_Italics_: this was what REALLY happened back in the time before the First Songs. Arana and Toruk formed the Tipani Clan (oh, and the huge banshee called Toruk was named after this guy, cuz he was the first banshee rider and kind of a bad-ass. So when Neytiri -- in the movie of course -- said "Toruk was mighty", she was talking about the banshee, but she was also talking about the man who tamed the very first banshee, though no one really remembers Toruk like that except the Tipani Clan, who know the real story.)

Regular: Neytiri's telling of the story, the way it was twisted to hide the shame of the clans and their mistakes in the past. Even though the clans ceased attacking each other after Toruk and Arana came to them, they still seperated themselves into seperate clans, which explains why there are many seperate clans of the Na'vi. The clans are still not very accepting towards relationships outside ones own clan, which is why they excluded Arana and Toruk from the tale of the first pa'li and banshee.


	26. Twisting Tales Part 2

Finally! Sorry this took so long, i had a bit of trouble writing this, but after all this time im pretty darn proud of it!

Hope you guys like it, and please, please review!

And if you have any questions, please ask!

* * *

Many years passed, and the clans were formed from the separate camps, and they traveled far and wide to find individual territories for themselves. The clans lived in peace, and their numbers grew exponentially. Resentment still lay deep in some of the clan people's hearts, but the hatred was soon fading as generations grew up oblivious of that anger and bitterness.

* * *

_A group of children giggled as they ran across the thick log that had fallen across a small trickling stream, and all of them crossed without fear, their tails held out behind them for balance, their little braids bouncing around their shoulders as they tried to push each other off. One little nine year old boy hung back, and the older girl behind him scowled at his hesitation, and pushed past him impatiently. _

_ The little boy saw something twinkling to his right, and turned to stare with wide and innocent golden orbs, and was just in time to see a small silver glowing creature melt into the brush. Another appeared a moment later, and the boy's eyes widened as the light around it pulsed enticingly. _

Follow me_; it seemed to whisper into the sudden silence that surrounded the trees as the other children disappeared into the brush. _

_ A familiar voice pulled him away from it, and the creature disappeared just as a hand grabbed his forearm impatiently. _

_ "Tompa, hurry up! Sa'nok will be angry if we stay out too long!" A taller girl whined, her golden eyes rolling at the dazed expression that filled her younger brother's face. _

_ "But Seze...I saw–" _

_ "Get your head out of the clouds, skxawng, and hurry up!" _

_ "You're the skxawng!" _

_ The two siblings bickered all the way back to Kelutral, and barely noticed the decorations being put up for the iknimaya, which would celebrate five warriors in gaining the title tsamsiyu – or warrior. Women rolled their eyes as they heard the siblings – their bickering was a common occurrence in the clan – and busied themselves with the armbands and necklaces they were fashioning as gifts for the soon-to-be-warriors. _

_ A tall man with feathers tied in his hair frowned disapprovingly at them as they approached him, and the two of them immediately quieted once they noticed him standing there. _

_ "Oel ngati kameie, Sempul..." Tompa muttered, and Seze mumbled a greeting under her breath, her face aflame at her father's stern expression. _

_ "The rest of the clan can see your bickering as well, Seze." _

_ Seze scowled, and the thirteen-year-old girl's tail lashed around in irritation before she stomped off in a huff. Tompa bit his lip nervously as he watched his sister disappear out into the yard, and stepped forward. _

_ "It wasn't just her fault, Sempu, I was lazing behind. She was just trying to make sure we got home in time for the ceremony." _

_ The boy's father put an arm around the boy's shoulders, smiling at the affectionate name that the boy reserved for when they were alone, hugging him gently as they watched the clan prepare for the celebration. The boy smiled as he wrapped his arms around his father for a moment before rushing off to play "Catch the Ikran" with his friends. _

_ The man watched with amusement as the boys ran around, yelling and trying frantically to catch one of the boys who had his arms outstretched in pale imitation of an ikran, squawking in glee as he managed to avoid those chasing him for a while longer._

_ But eventually, he could no longer outrun them, and succumbed to being subdued by the boys, letting them tackle him and wrestle with him playfully. _

_ Another child soon took his place, and the game continued. _

_

* * *

_

The light revealed itself to many people, but none were brave enough to follow it when it disappeared. Some say that it took the shape of an ikran and others say it took the form of a pa'li. Some even dared to say that it took the form of a Na'vi, but those stories were very rare.

There was no one with these people when they saw the light, so the leaders of the clans saw their accounts as foolish and ridiculous, and soon the clan stopped mentioning the strange light at all.

_Those childhood days had ended many years ago, and now that he was a warrior, he no longer had the luxury of free time, instead Tompa pulled back his bowstring, his strong shoulders flexing powerfully as his legs gripped the sides of his deep purple and green ikran, aiming at one of the small flying creatures that were a favorite food of his mother, but before he could release the arrow, something caught his eye. _

_ It was pure silver, and it was perched on the trees uppermost branches, and he caught sight of a bow before the light took off into the trees. Tompa instinctively dove towards the light, and squinted as the wind buffeted at his face. _

_ The light was slowing down, and he leapt off of his ikran as they approached a grassy ledge that overlooked the mountains that floated above the land, waterfalls pouring from their cliffs into empty space. The winged creature screeched and veered off to land on one of the sun-warmed rocks that were smooth and perfect for basking, content to wait for his call. Tompa tensed as he saw the silver glow pause beyond the line of trees, and then it began moving one more, slower now that he had caught up with it. _

_ Tompa drew his bow and arrow, and quickly ran after it, feeling no fear as the soft dirt was replaced by winding roots that hung suspended over hundreds of feet, and he felt the warm sun on his skin in brief intervals as the light pierced through the dense canopy of leaves and branches. _

_ Tompa didn't know why this light was so captivating to him, and then – as he weaved through a sea of thick and lush flowers and other plant life, pushing aside two large leaves that blocked his path – he suddenly remembered that day back when he was a child. _

_ The light had that same captivating glow, the same whispering sound in the silence that seemed to call out to his very soul. _

_ The leaves bent easily under his fingers, and he found himself staring at a small enclave that was ringed with densely packed trees and vines, with a deep clear pool of water that was continuously being filled by a beautiful waterfall that was gentle and soothing in the background. _

_ A Na'vi woman was sitting next to the water's edge, and her long hair was unbraided and flowed down her back to pool on the ground behind her, a silky trail of midnight tresses that glimmered with the spray from the waterfall. The customary thick braid that held the strands necessary for tsahaylu was in her hands, and her long fingers were tracing the braid gently as she stared at the waterfall. Tompa felt his heart begin to thud, as it always did when a beautiful woman appeared before him, but this time was different. _

_ He felt as if he had seen her before, either with his own eyes or in the depths of his dreams, where she was reaching for him with that silver glow and pulling him into the light where everything became bright and warm as the sun. _

_ She must have heard his footsteps as he approached, for she turned and smiled at him. _

_ His heart melted at those silver eyes that seemed so familiar…too familiar. His face was heating up as her face glowed at the sight of him, and her hair rippled behind her like a river of obsidian. _

_ "You have come at last, my Tompa." _

_ And Tompa felt a soft and warm spreading throughout his chest, because he knew that everything was safe, everything was good if this woman was here. Her name appeared on his lips in a moment, a small smile spreading across his face as he moved forward to sit beside her. _

_ "At last…Eywa." _

_

* * *

_

There were never songs in the clans, until one day the women went into the forest to gather weaving material, and came back singing the Weaving Song, and spoke of a tree that seemed to whisper and sing in soft tones…almost like a lover's embrace. The clans were still quite small then, and were just beginning to grow.

* * *

_"Tompa, you must bring your clan here, to see me. They _need_ me." _

_ Tompa sighed from his position beside her, and felt her contentment as she pushed herself up onto her elbows to smile at him, their braids linked together. _

_ His mind was unbelievably peaceful…and contained happiness unknown to him before. Instead of just proclaiming their love – as most mates did in their clan – Eywa told him of the tsahaylu that two lovers perform in order to become mated for life. The feeling was the most intimate form of pleasure that he had ever known, and it seemed that their very souls were as one. _

_ The young man sat up, and let his lips press to her forehead. "Alright." _

_ Eywa pulled him to his feet, and leaned up to kiss him. _

_ "I will be waiting here, Tompa. Be careful, the road usually taken can be very dangerous in the rain." Her silver eyes flickered upward to the stormy clouds. _

_ Tompa laughed, and Eywa's eyes saddened at the melodious sound that made her chest ache. _

_ "I will be back soon, and don't worry so much. My name means "rain", so I've been running around in this weather since I was small!" _

_ Tompa jogged out of the secluded area, and Eywa's eyes clouded with grief as her wise eyes saw what was to come. _

_ "Oh, why does it have to be you, my love? My wonderful, beautiful…my doomed love." _

_Tompa strode into camp; humming to himself the song that Eywa had taught him many months before. Some younger children paused in their games, and ran up to him, grabbing his hands and bouncing up and down. _

_ "Sing the song, Tompa!" _

_"Rutxe, Tompa!"_

_Tompa laughed, and tickled them playfully. "Alright, alright."  
_

_ Their faces brightened, and he tugged them over to an overturned log just beside the entrance of Kelutral. The air was darkening – rainy season was upon them – as clan members quickly ran inside to be shielded by the incoming rain. Tompa smiled, and moved so they were still outside, but now under one of the overhangs used for the pa'li. The children scrambled up onto the large window-like gap with a wide sill, swinging their thin legs as they waited for him to begin. _

_ The rain began to fall, and its musical melody filled the air as Tompa's soft voice sang. After a moment, the children began singing along with him, their clear voices making the entire clan stop to listen. _

_Tompayä kato, tsawkeyä kato, _

The rhythm of rain and sun,

_Trrä sì txonä_,

Of night and day,

_Sì ayzìsìtä kato,_

The rhythm of the years,

_Sì'ekong te'lanä,_

And the beat of the hearts,

_Te'lanä le-Na'vi_

Hearts of the people

_Oeru teya si,_

Fills me,

_Oeru teya si._

Fills me.

_Seze, who was listening to the song by the weapons rack, felt something pounding in her chest as she watched her younger brother who she had always rebuked for being so peaceable and weak. There was strength in his stance that had not been there before, and something wise and kind that made her feel small and insignificant._

_ But before she could do anything, Tompa stood and spoke to her clan, telling them of a person he would like them to meet. _

_ "She has been with you all for a long time, and now it is time for you to see her for yourselves." _

_ Seze scowled at the smooth and persuasive tone to his voice, but to her surprise she found that the others in her clan were already caught up in his spell. They were nodding, and something otherworldly seemed to be tingling in the air as the people moved to follow him into the forest. _

_ "Wait, Tompa–" Seze cried out, but her little brother was already gone, gliding through the rain-slicked grass, leading the clan out into the storm. Seze was left standing in the entrance to Kelutral, and her eyes filled with tears as something sad and painful pierced her heart. _

_ "Tsmukan…" _

_ She slowly followed the clan, her eyes glancing up at the violently gray sky that rumbled with a distant and deadly thunder. _

_

* * *

_

The tree that the women discovered was in a secluded area surrounded by trees, with a large pool of water around the tree while a waterfall cascaded down behind it, along with several rivers branching out from the large pool. Many years later, the Na'vi traced these rivers, only to find that they led to every other Sacred Tree. This phenomenon could never be explained, because one day there were no Sacred Trees, and the next…they were all interconnected…as if they had been there for many generations. When one Sacred Tree was harmed in any way, it was felt by all of the trees, but there was no real damage to any of them. But when the Life-Giving Tree was injured, it affected all of them equally, and in turn affected all living things.

* * *

_Tompa went a little ahead of the clan in order to find a safe route, and also to give the less fit a chance to rest. _

_ He was running along the familiar log that led to the waterfall, and then, suddenly, thunder cracked right next to him, landing inches from his shoulder. He jumped to get out of the way, and tried to slide down the branch to enter the clearing, but something twisted around his leg, and the slippery moss under his feet made him trip. _

_ The object tightened around his leg, jolting it violently, and something snapped jarringly. Tompa's eyes widened as a howl escaped his lips, his hip and leg going limp. _

_ He lost his balance, and fell forward into the bushes, and something hard and sharp collided with his head, and all went fuzzy for a few moments as he lay there. _

_ "Tompa…Tompa!" Eywa's screams came closer, and her soft hands traced his face frantically, but there was no hope in her face. His head was bleeding, and his eyes were cloudy with pain. _

_ "Eywa…the clan…they're…" Tompa coughed, pointing weakly in the direction where his clan was waiting. Eywa's silver eyes flashed with grief, and she cradled him close to her. _

_ "Hold on, my love. It will all be over soon…for the both of us." _

_ "I see. As long as I'm with you…it'll be all right." Tompa's voice cracked with pain as he grimaced, and Eywa's face contorted with pain as she pressed her forehead to his. "Why are you…crying?" _

_ "Because I…I…" Eywa's tears fell onto his face, and the thunder rumbled even louder, the rain increasing its rhythm until it was a rapid hum of falling water against the leaves of the trees. "I knew that this was going to happen. I…see everything that will occur, and I feel it even before it happens. This was meant to happen…but I was selfish. I could've chosen someone else, but I loved…I loved you too much. I wanted…" _

_ Tompa reached up to trace her cheek gently, a warm smile spreading across his face. _

_ "I don't care. I would rather die here than live my entire life not knowing you." _

_ Eywa's sobs filled the air that was filled with sounds of the approaching clan. Tompa heard a familiar voice calling out encouragement, and a surprised glimmer filled his eyes. _

_ "Seze?" _

_ His sister was the first to appear, and their eyes met for a split second before Tompa suddenly went limp, his eyes closing. Eywa sat up, and observed the clan that was slowly approaching, and Seze rushed forward when her brother became unconscious. _

_ "Tompa!" She stopped when she saw Eywa, and took out her knife. "Who are you?" _

_ Eywa smiled, and reached up to touch Seze's hand. "I am Eywa, the Great Mother of All." _

_ Small pink glowing creatures were slowly congregating around the pool, and around Eywa and Tompa. The rest of the clan held back, except for Seze, who shook Tompa furiously, tears running down her cheeks. _

_ "Please, wake up! I'm sorry for all those mean things I said, I'm sorry for never telling you how…sorry I was for...." Seze put her face in her hands and cried. _

_ "There is a way to save him." Eywa said sadly, and Seze's eyes lit up. _

_ "Do it!" _

_ "But…your brother would no longer be a person, instead he would become a part of me, a part of the entire forest." _

_ Seze's eyes widened, and she stared down at her brother's ashen face for a moment, and looked back up at Eywa. _

_ "Do it, please." _

_ Eywa stared out at the silent clan, and whispered. "We will always protect the Na'vi, he and I." _

_ Seze smiled. "I know." _

_ Eywa smiled brokenly, and a blinding silver light suddenly surrounded the three, so bright that the clan had to cover their eyes for fear of being blinded. _

_ There was a pulsing rhythm in the air, and when the light subsided a moment later Seze was standing beside the shore of the pool, and a large and glowing tree was in place at the center of the body of water, thrumming with energy and glowing with a gentle pink and silver light. _

_ Seze's eyes were milky and faraway for a moment before returning to their normal golden color, and something mystical and powerful filled the woman and surrounded her with a mysterious shroud. _

_ A small child rushed forward to grab at Seze fearfully. "Seze, what happened!" _

_ "Eywa…has saved my brother." _

_ "Eywa?" _

_ "Yes…she is what guides all of us, in what we do, in what we say…" _

_ The little girl held Seze's hand, and the clan watched as the little girl began to sing…_

_Tompayä kato, tsawkeyä kato, _

_ Trrä sì txonä_,

_Sì ayzìsìtä kato…_


	27. Who to Trust

Here's the next chapter! Kinda short, but watever...

A LOT of important stuff in this one, along with a long-awaited make-out session (**VividInk**, since you've been asking for a "hot make-out session" nearly every time you review, this one's for you! :D

Enjoy, and please review!

:)

* * *

I bit my lip as Neytiri finished, and my fingers twisted around a single braid nervously. The rain pounded against the roof in a constant rhythm, and the faint sound of trees swaying in the wind filled the silence that stretched between the four of us. I listened to them for a moment before speaking.

"So if someone is trying to mess with the Life-Giving Tree, then–"

Kinak spoke, and his voice was blank and emotionless. "They could destroy the entire forest, and every living thing in it."

I waited for Neytiri to correct him, to say that he was merely being dramatic about it. But the Omaticaya princess was grim, her beautiful eyes darkening with worry. Jake cleared his throat, and I glanced over at him as he put his hand over his mate's comfortingly.

"Look, I know that we're all worried about this, but I'm positive that we'll find out who was there at the tree that day, and it will all probably be a huge misunderstanding."

Neytiri sighed, and leaned against her mate wearily. Jake gave me a warning look when I made to speak, and I quickly shut my mouth as the two Omaticaya rose to their feet, Jake slipping his hand into Neytiri's when they had both done so.

"Neytiri and I are going to stay in one of the Avatar huts nearer to the station, so we'll be able to get this mess figured out much more efficiently and without raising it to the clans' attention. You and Kinak are free to spend the night here, if you like."

I looked over at Kinak, who was leaning against the wall, his tail flicking upward every few seconds, his golden eyes lowered in resignation.

I smiled, and thanked Jake with a hug. "This will be fine, thanks. Should we meet at the entrance to the Station, at nine or so? I remember that a lot of the Avatar drivers like to sleep in…"

Jake laughed, and Neytiri smiled before answering. "Yes, they do, Sara."

The two said their goodbyes, and headed out into the rain, Jake's arm snaking around her waist. I smiled after them, and walked out so that I was just outside the overhang, letting the cold water wash over me in a rush. I smiled, tilting my head back so the raindrops fell on my skin. It was cool and fresh, and I savored the feel of it against my skin.

I didn't hear Kinak come out behind me, but heard him murmur. "What did you think of the legend?"

I turned to face him, and saw his lean form leaning against the wood by the door, watching me with deep golden eyes that were curious and questioning. I frowned, and cupped my hands together to let the rain pool into the depression made by my palms and fingers, letting the water that accumulated there drip between my fingers after a moment.

"I just…have such a hard time believing that the Na'vi just _happened_ upon tsahaylu and the idea of taming banshees and direhorses. And I don't think that she mentioned how Eywa came into being either…" I mused, frowning as water dripped down my spine and soaked into my loincloth. I stared at my fingers, so long and thin…and there were five of them.

I had become so accustomed to seeing the hands of other clan members – with only four fingers and toes – that I had come to see the physical characteristics of the Na'vi to be the normal way, while my more human traits were abnormal…alien.

_The people stared as they had before, but this time a few of them spoke to each other, their eyes still on me. I didn't look at them, and tried hard to ignore the whispers that followed me. _

_ "Uniltìranyu…"_

_ Dreamwalker. _

_ "Faketuan."_

_ Alien, not Na'vi…an outsider._

_ A frown creased my forehead as I stared at my fingers, so strange and so human. It was these shaped hands that pulled the triggers to destroy Hometree, it was these human hands that had created the weapons deadly enough to kill so many…_

"_Vrrtep."_

_ Demon._

I heard Kinak come closer, and saw his graceful fingers cradle mine, softly tracing each of my fingers with one of his own. I watched as he did so, and looked up to see his golden eyes focused on his task, staring at my hands with an intensity that left my heart racing for the strangest reason.

He was standing so close to me, so close that I could feel the heat radiating from him.

Kinak reached my pinky finger, the extra one, and looked up to meet my eyes.

"You were staring at your hands with the strangest expression on your face; so I decided to see for myself what was so interesting about them."

"It's nothing…they're just so alien compared to yours…so different." I muttered, putting our hands up so that he could see the differences that were so painfully obvious.

Kinak stared at our hands for a moment, and then leaned in to press his lips to the tips of my fingers.

"Sara, your hands are not what shape you, so do not bother yourself with how they look."

I felt my chest constricting as I remembered the scornful looks I had received back then…the looks that I still received from most of the older clan members. Their golden eyes filled with contempt and hatred.

I pushed his hands away, and stepped back. "But they are, Kinak! I have five fingers, I have five toes, and I'm not a natural born Na'vi. Heck, this body wasn't even _born_! Members of our clan still hate me, just for being the way I am, so how does my body _not_ shape me?"

"Sara, you–" His golden eyes were patient, almost exasperated; I felt tears filling my eyes.

"Kinak, _look_ at me!" I stood, feet spread apart for support, my hair wet and the thinner braids in front sticking to my collarbone and shoulders. Kinak went silent, and sat back to let his gaze trail from my feet to the top of my head. "I'm not a Na'vi, I'm a freak! I can't believe that I haven't realized it before…that's why Citra hates me so much, that's why Lielu can't introduce me to her friends without feeling embarrassed! That's why…" I felt tears falling down my cheeks and mixing with the continuous raindrops that fell.

Kinak continued to stare at me, and he moved closer, and stared down at me with indecipherable eyes.

"_Oel ngati kameie_."

I gasped, and he moved closer so his chest was inches from mine.

"_Oel ngati kameie_." He whispered, leaning in to touch his lips to mine. The warmth washed over me in waves as I let out a sob, throwing myself at him and letting him kiss me again. His hands were warm around my waist and pressing gently against my lower back, and his lips were soft against mine, and I could feel the love in them, I could feel the tenderness pouring from his soul to mine.

I whispered into his ear, "_Oel ngati kameie_, Kinak."

Kinak's eyes brightened, and suddenly his lips were at my neck, kissing upward to just under my jaw. His hands were less comforting now, and I shivered at the slow and sensual way his fingers ran up the curve of my spine, tracing patterns there.

The next few minutes were a blur, and I suddenly found my legs wrapped around Kinak's waist, kissing him like his lips were all that were tying me to my sanity, and letting my fingers trail down his chest, gasping as his tongue flickered out to tangle with mine. It was a primal dance, and I gladly took part after a sigh of contentment.

It was like nothing I had ever felt before.

Even the kisses before this moment felt stale and superficial compared to this. Because in the words spoken in that very moment, Kinak and I had pledged our love. It wasn't an openly stated "I love you", and in a way, I preferred this way of saying it. To love someone is great, but to _see_ someone for who they truly are, to see every flaw and to see their hopes and fears and to really understand them…let's just say that it beats the plain old "I love you" line any day.

I pulled away, and felt Kinak lowering us to the floor, him hovering above me while I arched to meet him with a passion unknown to me before. Fire was flickering in my skin, frazzling every nerve ending; short-circuiting every electrical current…I couldn't exactly describe it.

I let my leg lift up to hook around his waist, and with a smile I flipped him over so I was on top. His look of surprise lasted only for a moment, because I grinned for a second before leaning down to kiss him, letting my fingers drift across his arms slowly, feeling every toned muscle under my hands, feeling the heat of his impossibly smooth skin.

I smirked to myself as my lips drifted down to his neck, and let my teeth graze the skin there, my tongue tracing slow trails there. A groan escaped Kinak as I moved to his collarbone, and he pulled me up so he could kiss me again, his time leaving me so dizzy and breathless that I, for an instant – I'm not kidding here – forgot my own name.

The rain continued to fall, and the forests were an even brighter green, the grass flattened by the constant shower of water. The beauty of it was forgotten, because something even more beautiful was currently hugging me close and kissing me as if I was the only thing in the world.

* * *

I made my way across the field, yawning loudly as I blinked through the rainwater that ran down my face. It was an hour or so before dawn, Kinak still asleep on the pads that we had laid out before going to sleep, his handsome so trusting and at peace as he slept with me in his arms. It had been almost painful to extract myself from his grasp – I wanted nothing more than to lay with him for the rest of my life – but I managed to exit the hut. I sighed as the water woke me up slightly, and I almost bumped into a female Avatar driver that was taking her body out for some exercise, and I lazily looked back to see that several other drivers were with her, including Max's friend Kira from yesterday. She smiled warmly at me, and I felt myself smiling back before I could stop myself.

Kira reminded me of Sänume, in the strangest way. They both had that firm authority that issued itself when she spoke, and yet a gentle motherly tone to their voices, and every time they spoke to me I felt like they was not speaking to a fellow scientist or clan member, but instead speaking to a beloved child.

I smiled at the others before my attention was drawn to the woman I had almost run into. She was taller than I was, and her eyes were large and golden, and her hair went to just above her shoulders, tied into braids that didn't lay down straight, instead spiking outward slightly. Her face was sharp and thin, and her lips were pursed as though constantly trying to hold back laughter. I smiled, and Kira spoke.

"Good morning, Sara. Why are you up so early?"

I laughed. "I honestly don't know…"

The short haired one smirked, and punched my shoulder lightly. "Then maybe you should head back to lover-boy…" Her voice – she had an English accent – was smooth and low, and hearing it instinctively made me think of a snake.

But why was I thinking these things? Was I really so paranoid that I would start accusing anyone who crossed my path?

I flushed – not only at the woman's comment but also at my own rudeness for blindly disliking someone I barely knew – and the scientists laughed as they filed past me. Kira patted my hand kindly as she passed, and I smiled at her as they left.

I was about to resume walking towards the base when a small, dark haired human ran across the field towards me.

"Max, what is it?" I asked quietly, noting his frantic eyes and his creased brow.

"Sara…I don't understand it…we had them checked just yesterday…"

"Max, what happened?"

"The Avatar driver record machine is broken."

I frowned, and my tail whipped around me angrily. "What's wrong with it?"

Max twisted his coat nervously between his fingers at my expression, and I tried to calm down, taking deep breaths. "Someone's reprogrammed it, but the only ones who know the passwords are me, Kira, and two other scientists. I wasn't even in the room yesterday, I was too busy writing up a sediment analysis…"

"Who are the other two scientists?" I didn't want to imagine that it could be Kira…she was too good, too dedicated to our cause, to try and hide such important information from us.

"Becky Thomas and Tyler Garrett, they were both present at the Avatar driver meeting yesterday."

"Becky…who is she?"

"Well, it shouldn't be hard to recognize her, she's the only person in the base that has an English accent…"

I glanced back towards the Avatar drivers who were exercising on the ropes course, laughing and teasing each other as they slipped on the slick wood that made up the structures.

"Yeah…"

Max's dark eyes glanced over to where I was looking, and he didn't speak as the two of us watched the Avatar drivers.

Well, now I knew that the suspects for who had been at the tree that night had been narrowed down to four people.

That would've been fine…if only two of those suspects weren't people that I had trusted with every bone in my body before this moment.

Now…I didn't know who I could trust.

* * *

It was dark outside, and the forest around the small base hidden in the forest was glowing with bioluminescence. Two figures sat at a table, one of them cloaked in shadow while the other was bathed in a golden glow that came from the light above them.

"I don't understand how this could happen, you said that you would be able to do this without raising _any_ suspicion." A beefy soldier growled as he leaned back in his chair, staring mercilessly across at the calmly sitting figure that smiled slightly in the dim light of the room. A table separated the two, and the light bulb above them was bright, sending the rest of the area into dark shadow.

"And I am doing just that, so don't speak as if all is lost!" The voice was sharp, and the soldier, even though he was considerably larger than the figure, fell silent immediately.

The smaller figure got up and went to stand by the large window. "Everything is going as planned…except for that meddling Sara Mason."

"You said that Jake and the others were in your back pocket…what's so different about this Sara chick?"

"You are obviously as stupid as you look." The figure hissed, flicking short hair over its shoulder impatiently. "Jake Sully is no scientist, and the others in the station are idiots who call themselves scientists. But Sara Mason…well, she's in another category entirely. Even _I_ can't outwit her when it comes to biological systems, and so having her breathing over our shoulders creates a most unpleasant risk."

"But…"

"Shut up and listen, fool! Having her around was already going to be a risk, because even after I executed the plan, there was a chance that she would find an antidote and ruin my entire plan."

"And the plan is…"

The figure sighed in exasperation. "Did you not pay any attention when Colonel Quaritch spoke to us that day, right before the fight that he ended up dying in?"

"Yeah, but…"

The figure waved him off with a dismissive hand, and went on speaking.

"I have been earning the trust of these fools for long enough…I don't plan to be outsmarted by that Sara Mason. The days are numbered for those foolish Na'vi people…and by the time I strike, not even Sara will be able to save them. For if all goes to plan…everything living thing on Pandora will be dead, including that silly Eywa who they put all of their trust in."

"Is this a good thing?" The soldier whispered, his brow creasing in uncertainty.

"Yes…it is a very good thing. Now I must leave, so prepare my link." The figure ordered, and the soldier got to his feet and followed the other person out of the room, switching off the light behind them, throwing the rest of the room into complete blackness.


	28. Comfort

It's good to be back, everyone!

I'm finally back on track, and i am happy to say that I will be continuing this story!

so I hope you all enjoy, and**_ PLEASE REVIEW! _**

also, i'd read the last chapter again before reading this...because there is something big at the end of this chapter. Tell me if anyone gets what it is...

* * *

The rain continued to fall, as it had been doing for the past two weeks. I sat on the banshee platform that had been built after the RDA invasion, which had a thick leaf roof that shielded the creatures from the sun and – in this case – from the rain. It was a perfect watch tower, seeing as it overlooked the entire RDA station and the forest around it. I saw scientists walking around in their Avatar forms, while both Omaticaya and Tipani warriors stood guard at the gates and patrolled the area. After finding out that the Live-Giving Tree was threatened, both clans had immediately stepped in, sending warriors to make sure that no one from the RDA left the station. I let out a breath that was stifling in contrast to the cold air around me, tucking a braid behind my ear before turning my attention back to my task.

A contraption of woven material and other fibers lay on the sturdy floor in front of me, and I sighed, my hands weaving and tying quickly. I had been constructing the banshee antennae harness for the last two months ever since bonding with Atan, and was almost done. Kinak had helped me get started, calling it _Eywa te' Sara tan'sey mak'ta_, which translated to _the love of Eywa's embrace is gifted to Sara_. I don't really understand how the name relates to a harness, but I didn't really have the incentive to ask.

It was a complicated process, but I found that it calmed me and allowed me to unravel my thoughts in the same way that I did countless times with the grasses I was required to weave. It was used to make sure that the antennae of the banshee and the braid of the rider didn't get in the way, and connected to the padded saddle-like structure that was already completed and attached to my banshee's torso.

Atan was resting beside me, content to lie on his stomach and watch me weave, his mismatched eyes never once leaving my hands as they quickly moved across the harness. His head rested against my leg, and every so often he would croon, and I would stop what I was doing and affectionately rub his neck and cheeks, murmuring to him softly in both English and Na'vi.

"Only a week or so, _ma oeyä 'eylan_. Then I'll be done."

Atan seemed to understand, his golden and white eyes deep and expressive as he listened to my words. But even if he didn't, it was nice to have someone to talk to, someone who couldn't respond and always was in the mood for sitting in silence.

Of course, the silence also forced me to think about the thing that I most wanted to avoid.

I didn't know what to do. What _could_ I do? Now that someone had destroyed the Avatar records, we had no way of knowing where the drivers went or what they did. But even more disturbing than that was the fact that I still had no idea who could have done such a thing.

I had talked about it with Jake and Neytiri, and Jake guessed that whoever I had seen that night was either gathering a sample of the water or attempting to poison it. My mind immediately rejected the idea of poison – the only people allowed to stay on Pandora were those who were dedicated to its survival…so why would anyone want to poison it? – but couldn't quite make myself believe that they were just innocently gathering a sample.

Hardly anyone in our sector of scientists had ever traveled to the Tipani Clan's territory, not when the Omaticaya were geologically closer and therefore more accessible. Dr. Grace Augustine was the only one who had traveled that far, and even she hadn't been allowed near the Life-Giving Tree. It was one of the most spiritual places for all the Na'vi clans, because according to the history of Pandora, it was the very first Sacred Tree.

But there were no leads on what exactly was being plotted against the tree. Both Sänume and Mo'at – both very respected as Tsahìk within the Tipani and Omaticaya– had examined the tree, and announced that there was nothing wrong with it. It made my head hurt, and however tempting it was to just push it aside as paranoia, my conscience just wouldn't let me.

Because I remembered the look in that figure's golden eyes, I remembered the cold and calculating smile that stretched across their lips.

No…it wasn't just paranoia. Something was going on, and I had to keep fighting until I found out what it was.

I was distracted by the sounds of someone climbing up the tree branches that served as a ladder, and I tensed automatically. Atan raised his head, his teeth bared in preparation as the stranger pulled himself up onto the wooden platform. I relaxed immediately, and smiled.

Norm huffed as he caught his breath, and as I watched him I realized that I hadn't seen him in a long time. He had changed. His hair was longer, his eyes more hardened and much less unsure of himself.

But that smile was still the same.

I put down my work, and moved over to hug him tightly. I was glad he had found me, even though I had originally flown up here to be alone. Norm was a glimpse of my past life, he was like a breath of fresh air after all this inner conflict and confusion that seemed to control my life now. I looked at him and saw all those nights staying up late in the lab, I looked at him and I saw the afternoons that we'd draw a mustache on Jake's face when he slept, cackling to ourselves when he'd get up and make his way through the halls, confused to why people were staring. We assured him that the stares were a result of his mind-blowing good looks, but he found out the real reason later that day. I laughed at the memory of him chasing us around the bunkers, us laughing and Jake blushing in embarrassment.

And then Dr. Grace Augustine had burst into the room, screaming that if we didn't shut the hell up, she'd whip the living shit out of us tomorrow with a few of the sticky and raspy leaves that grew around the Avatar Training field. That shut us up quick, and Dr. Augustine had marched back to her room, muttering something about how the lack of coffee was making her go crazy.

Norm and I wrote our own little _Guide to Scientist Life on Pandora_ handbook, and even had little maps drawn by Jake – a shocker, but the guy was actually pretty good at drawing detailed, accurate maps – that showed spots that were safe to hang out and spots that one should avoid. But most important of all was the entire chapter on Dr. Grace Augustine and her moods and the most important rule regarding her needs and the consequences of disregarding those needs.

_**Rule #1 in the RDA Station**: Keep Dr. Grace Augustine well supplied with cigarettes and coffee. The absence of one will result in a mild rage and a constant irritation, which isn't unbearable, but is tiring. If both are absent…the suggested method is to go and hide in a closet for the duration of the day. Some symptoms that result from lack of both coffee and cigarettes: _

_ -Crazed look in her eyes_

_ -Random muttering to herself and a constant glare that makes one feel like a plump rabbit cornered by a starving tiger. _

_ -Constant barking and screaming at people she ordinarily ignores or increased abuse of those who she ordinarily dislikes with a passion (*cough* Jake Sully *cough*). _

So basically, the rule was to avoid Dr. Grace Augustine when she didn't have those two things, because when she didn't…all hell broke loose. During those brief periods, Jake affectionately described Dr. Augustine as "a hormonally enhanced female water buffalo having PMS while giving birth while getting over a bitter break-up with her longtime boyfriend who just told her that he's been cheating on her with a much younger and much more attractive supermodel".

That pretty much summed it up.

I smiled as I held my friend tightly, shivering from the coolness of his recently soaked skin. "Hey, Norm."

Norm laughed quietly, and hugged me back tightly. "Hey, Sara. Long time no see."

"Yeah. I assume that Jake told you about–"

Norm nodded. "It's a pretty big deal. We're going to need all the scientists we can get, and so I'm staying with the RDA until all of this is over."

"I see." I murmured, heaving a great sigh as Norm rubbed my back soothingly.

"It'll all be okay, Sara. Don't worry yourself too much."

"Too late. Did Jake tell you where I was?" I grumbled, and Norm pulled back so he could see my face. Atan yawned, and settled down for a nap as my best friend smiled.

"No, actually. Your boyfriend Kinak told me. He said that you needed some cheering up. Not in those exact words, but you get the idea." The young man smiled sheepishly, and my jaw dropped.

"He did?"

"No, the flowers did. Of course he told me, you doofus."

I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest. "I am _not _a doofus! I just have a lot on my plate at the moment!"

"Uh huh. Suuuureee."

I stuck my tongue out at him, and Norm just poked me in the forehead playfully. I batted his hands away, and the young man smiled more widely as he moved so he was leaning against one of the posts that held the structure roof up. I moved beside him, and leaned my head against his shoulder as I asked.

"I've missed you, Norm."

"I've missed you more." Norm whispered, and I looked up at him, frowning at the slight glint to his eyes. I decided to push it aside, and put my head back on his shoulder.

"Highly unlikely. But I never really found out what you've been doing since you joined the Omaticaya. What's it like, living with Jake and Neytiri and the others? Are they adapting well to their new Hometree? Have you finished making your banshee antennae harness yet? Oh, did you name your banshee? What–"

Norm laughed, reaching over to gently pinch my lips together with his thumb and forefinger. "Jeez, you never change. Sara. Always so curious about every single thing."

"I didn't think it was a bad thing to be concerned about my best friend." I grumbled, pulling away from his fingers and scowling at him. Norm smirked, pushing my shoulder playfully.

"I never said it was, so don't get your panties in a bunch."

"Humph."

Norm rolled his eyes, and leaned back to stare up at the deep green leaves that made up the roof, both of us listening to the steady chimes of the rain hitting the roof, and the soft, never-ending symphony of sound that came from the outside as the rain fell in torrents. It was oddly peaceful, just sitting and listening to the rain. Norm waited a few moments, and then spoke, his voice stilted and hesitant.

"I'm…not really meant to be a warrior, Sara. I never was, and I know that. But it still doesn't make me feel any better" Norm murmured, and I looked up at him with a small smirk.

"Yeah, I know. You always _were_ the nerdy one of the bunch."

"Thanks." Norm sighed.

"I'm not saying it's something to be ashamed of. I'm just saying that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. So what if you're not the best warrior? You're the most knowledgeable in terms of the Na'vi language and culture, and you're a kick ass biologist…and you're also my best friend. Those are skills that no one will ever be able to match. You're a special person, Norm. Don't ever forget that, okay?"

Norm blushed at my praise, and fiddled with his hands. "Uh, yeah. Thanks, Sara."

"No problem." I smiled widely, and Norm looked at me for a moment before blushing even darker, turning his head away.

"What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing…" Norm muttered, and stood quickly. "Well, I've got to get back to the lab. Max has some samples he wants me to analyze."

I nodded, standing up with him. "Okay, I'll see you around then."

"Yeah."

I hugged him again, and this time Norm held me so tightly that I had trouble breathing. There was silence as the rain fell, the fresh coolness of the air making me instinctively move closer to Norm's warm skin. Norm sighed, his breath hot on the skin of my shoulder, his hands pressing against the braids that hung down my back.

"I love you, Sara Mason." Norm whispered, his voice soft and cracking as he tensed, as if preparing himself for something. I frowned at his tenseness, and smiled.

"I love you too, Norm Spellman." Norm stiffened as I continued. "It's nice having someone like you around. I'll never see my brothers at home again, and having you around makes it easier. Thank you."

Norm pulled away slowly, something shining in his eyes as a choked laugh left his chest. "Oh, of course, like a brother."

I looked up at him, concerned by the desolate tone to his voice. "Norm, what is it?"

Norm said nothing, just sighing as he let his fingers cup my cheek, his hand warm and smooth. "I just…you…I…"

With a strangled sound at the back of his throat, Norm tore himself away, running to the edge of the platform and swinging himself off and into the nearby branches, disappearing into the shadows created by the rain and the mist that cloaked everything. I frowned, leaning against the post.

What was wrong with Norm?

I glanced back at Atan, who was chirping at me irritably. It seemed that Norm's noisy exit had awoken him from his nap. I sighed, walking over to rub behind Atan's jaw, murmuring in Na'vi.

"Sorry, Atan. I don't know what's gotten into Norm…he seemed so sad."

Atan crooned lazily, tilting his head so my fingers could reach a particularly itchy spot. I glanced back to where Norm had gone, and then shook my head as I stood abruptly, shoving the banshee antennae harness in a small woven basket placed in the corner, and urged Atan to awareness. I made the bond – the feeling of connection was so familiar that I barely noticed it – quickly, making my intentions known. Atan balked slightly, but he acquiesced when I pleaded for a moment.

Atan yawned widely, showing rows of jagged teeth. I secured his saddle, patting his shoulder when I was done. The sapphire-blue banshee moved to the gap in the wood that was built for such exits, and I swung onto his back, letting him adjust before leaning forward.

There were no words needed, and the sinewy body beneath me – the body that was partially mine as long as we were bonded like this – shifted as we dove out into the rain.

* * *

I landed unsteadily on the grass that covered the Avatar Training field, and saw Neytiri and Kinak talking quietly by the large building that was partially separated from the rest of the base. Their large golden eyes were wary as they watched human scientists with large umbrellas walk in between the buildings, some of them carrying small and other supplies.

I rubbed Atan's forehead in thanks, and the creature butted my hip with its snout before taking off with a shriek, flying off towards the trees. Most likely going back to the watch tower to continue his nap.

I smiled at the thought, and turned to jog over to where the two warriors were standing. Kinak turned to nod at me as I approached, and I smiled at him as I moved so I was beside him. Our tails moved towards each other, and they linked together for a moment before moving back to their respective sides.

Neytiri smiled, and quickly said her farewell. "I have to return to my clan; Jake is having trouble organizing patrols."

I nodded, waving as the Omaticaya princess ran to the area just inside Hell's Gate, where a few pa'li were grazing peacefully. She leapt onto one of them, and they cantered away into the hazy wetness of the forest. I reached over to take Kinak's hand, and looked up at him with a frown.

"What were you two talking about?"

"Just some ideas concerning which clan should stand guard and which clan should guard the Life-Giving Tree. I told Neytiri to hold off on guarding it for another day so that–"

"Shouldn't it be the Tipani's duty? It is in their territory, after all." I led Kinak to one of the overhangs that were close to the entrance of the base, sitting down on the concrete that made up a sort of sidewalk. Kinak sighed before sitting down with me, and I rubbed the top of his hand with my thumb.

"Yes, but Mo'at is being very stubborn…it's nothing to be concerned about, Sara."

"I suppose not…" I sighed, leaning my head against his shoulder. "I'm so worried, though, Kinak. If something happens–"

"Nothing will happen, Sara." Kinak smiled at my shocked expression. "We will defend Eywa until our last breath; it will take more than a meddling human to destroy us."

I beamed at the confidence in his voice. God, I loved him.

I leaned in to kiss him, and he responded with a smirk. His hand came around to lightly rest against my lower back, his fingers lightly tracing patterns there, and my arm locked around his waist.

Kinak pulled away, and leaned his forehead against mine. "Tonight…I wish to show you something."

"Ooh what is it?"

"It's a secret." Kinak smirked at my huff of indignation. He knew that I didn't like being left out of the loop, just as I knew that trying to convince him to tell me was pointless.

I sighed, and poked him in the chest huffily. "Okay, okay…I'll wait patiently for once. What time tonight?"

"I'll take you there at sunset…you'll see why."

"Oh? Now you've got me curious."

Kinak chuckled at my sly grin, and gently tucked a braid behind my ear. "You're always curious."

I laughed. "I tend to get that a lot…"

Kinak smiled, and leaned in to kiss me when I heard someone gasp. I whipped around to see Kira standing there in her human form, a mask on her face and a silver box in her hand. Her eyes flashed with something as she looked at me, but it was gone so fast that I must have imagined it. I smiled at her, and she blushed at Kinak's glare.

"Hey Kira! What do you have there?"

Kira smiled shyly. "Hello Sara. I'm just moving some equipment from the unused lab…since no one really uses them anymore."

I nodded, ignoring Kinak's hiss of wary suspicion, and moved aside to let Kira pass. The woman smiled to me brightly, and then turned to walk into the rain, pulling out a large umbrella and shifting the box so that she held it under one arm.

The woman walked quickly through the downpour, and I watched her as she disappeared around a corner. The last I saw of her was her short dark hair that hung just above her shoulders.

And then she was gone.


	29. Dying Sun

Hey everyone!

i know that this may seem annoying and pathetic, but i just have to say how I really feel. Fell free to skip this if you want...

_**Author Dilemma: **I was (and still am, sorta) honestly considering deleting all of my stories on . I just took a look at this story and my other stories (especially those that arent getting many reviews)...and i'm like..._Wow. I really SUCK! _I mean, it might be just me, but i have so much trouble coming up with believable characters, and it's embarrassing how childish my writing is. I know i'm young, but heck, i'm not THAT young! i try so hard, and yet when I compare my writing to stuff like (and these are just a few fantastic examples from the top of my head) **Ripples**_ by **Yellow Mask**_, and **Double Edged**_ by **nimblnymph**_, it makes me really angry because I wish that my writing was just as amazing! I mean, seriously! I thought that I was a pretty good writer, but then these stories just come and blow me out of the water! And some of the authors arent that much older than I am! _Gah! _I just...feel a bit stupid for building myself up like i have, making myself believe that I actually could someday make a career in writing novels and such. i guess that it just comes as a shock to realize that I'm not as good as I thought I was. I'm pretty unoriginal, and i just dont have the way with words that some people have. And I know that a lot of people like this story and my other stories, but...i dont know. Writiing makes me so happy, but when i think of actually trying to pursue it...i just have to take one look at some of the authors on here and i know that that's the farthest thing from reality. _

Okay, pity party is officially over! I hope that i at least find the incentive to finish this story before deciding what to do in terms of my writing.

Hope you guys enjoy it, and _**please review!**_

(oh, and I wrote the last line completely by accident. And then, i looked at the title and I'm like OMG A COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL CONNECTION!)

_

* * *

Electronic Journal_

_Name: _Sara Mason

_Location: _RDA Station

_Date:_ March 3, 2155

_Entry 13_

_ It's been a while since I've used this thing; my fingers aren't used to typing after all this time. But I suppose it's like learning to ride a bicycle…once you learn, you never quite forget. It's nice to know that I haven't completely abandoned my human self in the process of becoming One of The People. I'm still the same old Sara Mason, even if I _am _nine and a half feet tall and blue. Oh yeah, and I have a tail. How could I possibly forget? _

_ Kinak left a few hours ago to go fly with his banshee, leaving me here alone in the Avatar hut. It's almost sunset, so I'll meet him at the gates in half an hour or so. I'm currently typing away on my laptop, cursing the size of the letter keys, and wondering what Kinak could possibly have planned. _

_ And of course, coming up with nothing. Good god, I'm bad at anything that involves guessing. _

_ But something that's even more pressing is the fact that we still are clueless in terms of who is messing with the Life Giving Tree. It's really starting to piss me off, because the person who's messing with it could be doing unspeakable damage, and here we were just sitting around and speculating. I really felt tempted to get every single scientist in the base and dangle them over a cliff until the person who was there that night came forward. I was really, _really _close to resorting to that tactic, because there were so few options for us. _

_ I just wanted life to be peaceful for Pandora, because after all that had happened, the place deserved that courtesy. But of course…as long as there were humans here, there would always be a link to the destruction of before. As long as any figment of human technology existed here, so would the greed and mercilessness that accompanied that technology. _

_ It hurt me to say it, but after this was all over…the humans would have to leave. That meant even Max and the rest of the friends I had come to know over the six years I had been here. There was a single ship left at the RDA station, and it was programmed with a direct path to Earth, because none of the scientists knew how to handle a space ship. _

_Humans could no longer be welcome on Pandora. I spoke to Sänume about this, and she agreed wholeheartedly. _

_ "The time of the Skypeople is over, _'evi_. It ended the moment Eywa gave her power to the creatures of the forest and used that power to overcome the enemy in the Great Battle." _

_ It made me sad though, that in sending the humans away, I was also sending away my last connection to home. Once the humans left, the computers would be shut down, and all communications with Earth would be severed save the message Jake had sent in the beginning. _

_ Don't return to Pandora, unless you have a death wish._

_ That meant that I would never be able to talk to Max again, I would never be able to make contact with any friends back on Earth. My parents…my siblings…all abandoned. _

_ I was ready for this though, I had been ready for some time now. I had chosen my path when I decided to become One with The People, and I was happy with my decision. _

_ But before anything could happen, we needed to find the person that was responsible for this mess, and quickly. I was tired of having something looming over my head, I just wanted to live my life as normally as I could in this supernatural world that had become my home. _

_ Sigh._

_ If only finding the solution was as easy as typing it. _

_That'll be the day, when something is extraordinarily simple and easy for me to accomplish. _

_Psh…in my _dreams_ maybe, but in real life? _

_Not a chance. _

_End of Entry 13_

_

* * *

_

_It was sunset, and the area around the station was silent and calm as the bioluminescence glowed just beyond the steel gates of the Avatar Compound. The rain was still falling, but with much less force, soothing and comforting rather than harsh and seemingly everlasting. _

_Norm Spellman stared at the screen of Sara's laptop with wistful eyes, his long blue fingers resting lightly on the keys as if trying to imagine the warmth of her fingers on the keys. His golden eyes were staring at her words sadly, and his tail loosely wrapped around his ankle, strands of his dark hair hanging around his face._

_He knew that this was invading her privacy, but he couldn't find the incentive to move away from the small wooden desk that resided on the far wall of the Avatar hut. Sara would never find out…just like she would never fully understand his feelings for her. It was pathetic, how he clung to the shadows like this. But with Kinak in the picture…Norm knew that he didn't stand a chance. _

_Every time he saw those two together, always smiling, his heart would pound excruciatingly and a slow and torturous pain began to throb in his stomach and in his chest. _

_Norm wished that Sara Mason had never walked into the lunch room that day. He wished that she had somehow – like most of the other scientists working in the Avatar Compound – escaped his notice. _

_ Norm had liked her from the very start. The instant she walked into that room where he and Jake were sneaking away the box of chocolate, she had snagged him on her little finger, and now he couldn't bear to pull himself away. _

_ Jake had liked her too – it was hard not to, after discovering the friendly and loyal girl behind the somber exterior of a scientist – but that slight romantic attraction had faded after the night that they all had gotten impossibly drunk. The three had been drinking vodka…at least, that's what Norm remembered. His memories were fuzzy in relation to that particular incident. Jake still considered her a friend, and that fact made Norm sigh in relief. A nerdy guy like him couldn't hope to compete with a handsome and playful soldier like Jake Sully. _

_ Sara was the light of Norm's life, and however corny that statement sounded, it was true. It was her encouraging brown eyes that got him through all those early mornings without coffee, it was the sight of her wavy blonde hair pulled back in a casual ponytail that made a smile appear on his face. It was her voice that made his head snap around like a rubber-band. _

_ And like a rubber-band that snaps after being stretched too far…Sara was lost to him. Lost to another man who loved her for the warrior she was, loved her for all of her wonderful beauty, and would continue to love her in a way that Norm never could. _

_ At first, Norm had felt betrayed. He had always assumed that he would wait until he was ready to approach her, and she would wait for him with open arms. He was a fool to think that Sara would just go unnoticed by the male population of the Tipani Clan, he was a fool for thinking that she would ever see him in that way. _

_ But now, as he stared at the words on the small screen, that betrayal was absent. In its place was a smoldering ball of anguish and regret. What was the point in blaming Sara for his pain, when she didn't even know why he was in pain? How could she possibly know that she was the cause? _

_ Norm had told her that he loved her, and she had taken it completely the wrong way. But it wasn't her fault. It was his fault…Norm should have told Sara his feelings before the war even started, before Kinak was even in the picture. Could they have had a chance? _

_ The man growled under his breath, and pushed away from the desk with a hiss, closing the laptop and turning to leave the hut. But suddenly, he bumped into another Avatar driver, and Norm blinked before relaxing into a smile. _

_ "Kira, I didn't know that any Avatar drivers were still out…isn't it past curfew?" _

_ Kira smiled slightly, and her eyes glinted dangerously as Norm frowned. "Kira?" _

_ Suddenly, blinding pain erupted in Norm's chest, and he looked down to see a thick knife protruding from his chest, glistening with bright crimson liquid. Norm wanted to scream, but the sight of Kira smiling smugly filled him with such shock that words were impossible. _

_ Kira…was the one who was doing all of this? Kira was the one who was trying to harm the Life-Giving Tree? But how? _

_ And _why_?_

_ "You were in the wrong place at the wrong time, Norm. A pity for you…" Kira crooned, touching his cheek gently before pushing him down roughly. _

_ Pain filled Norm's every breath as he fell clumsily to his knees. A spinning sensation filled his mind as the blood continued to leave him with slow and steady throbs. A human man darted around from behind Norm, grinning viciously. Kira murmured some instructions to the soldier, and then the two of them lifted a box out from under one of the bunks, and quickly left the hut. But not before Norm caught the label on the side of the box. It was the label used for deadly poisons, and his mind sluggishly put two and two together. _

_ But his mind was slowing down, shutting down, and the man watched as the two figures disappeared into the rain. _

_ Norm coughed up a mouthful of blood, and with a determined hiss, he reached for the laptop. Sara had to know what was going on, she had to know who was behind all of this. She had to stop Kira before it was too late. _

_He ignored the fleeting panic that rushed through him at the thought of his breaths being numbered. _

_ Because what was the point of panicking when you already knew that you were going to die? _

_

* * *

_

I met Kinak at the gates, and called Atan down from the nest of trees that held most of the Na'vi guards' banshees. The two of us flew under the upper layer of branches, shielded by the thick leaves that made up that layer. We wove in between trees, and soon arrived in a small clearing that was slightly familiar to me. I frowned as we landed, and Kinak wiped the rainwater from his brow just as the sun sunk below the horizon.

The bright lights from the bioluminescent plants began to flicker and glow as darkness fell, and a strange feeling hit me as I saw the light of the sun fade beneath the horizon.

Something wasn't right.

But before I could really think about it, Kinak took my hand, and the happiness on his handsome features wiped away all feelings of unease. If Kinak was here, everything was alright.

I leaned into his touch, and stared around at the bright lights, still awed by their beauty that seemed accentuated by the soft fall of the rain. It made everything so much more ethereal, and I wanted to imprint the sight into my memory.

"It's so beautiful, Kinak." I murmured, leaning back to let the soft rain fall onto my face. Kinak chuckled, and I felt his hand tug me in his direction as he began to walk.

"It is, but that's not what I wished to show you."

"What is it?" I asked suddenly, hoping to throw him off guard. But Kinak knew me too well, and his lips turned in a smug smile, his finger reaching out to flick my nose playfully.

"_Tìmweypey, ma taronyutsyìp_…"

I growled as his name for me, and whipped my tail so it flicked his calves. Kinak only grinned more widely, and I huffed as his hips butted against mine teasingly.

_Patience, my little hunter. _

Kinak was enjoying my irritation way too much, but I let it go as a bright light came into view. I remembered where I had seen this before…it was that night when I had gotten separated from Norm and the others. I suddenly knew where we were going, and my breath left my chest in a gust as Kinak pushed aside the thick leaves that served as a barrier, revealing the Life-Giving Tree.

It was beautiful. To try and put it into words would be impossible, because no words would ever do it justice. I thought that I had seen beauty when I visited it before, but all of that was blown away as I saw what the rain did to the soft pink light.

Also, hundreds of those jelly-fish things from before – I had learned that they were seeds of the Sacred Tree, also known as_ atokirina'_ – were floating along the surface of the water, twirling and spinning lazily. Kinak smiled at my shock, and his tail loosely traced patterns on my leg.

"They often gather here at_ txon'ong_."

I nodded, watching as the spirits seemed to sense our arrival, and began to float towards us. Kinak sucked in a surprised gasp as they began to spin around the two of us, their tendrils lightly touching our skin as they went. I smiled at their touch, and reached up to lightly cup one of them in my hands. Kinak watched in awe as the small creature lightly rested in my palm, and a soft sigh seemed to emerge from the very earth beneath our feet.

After a moment, the creatures drifted away once more, but still remained near the water as Kinak slowly led me toward the edge. I stepped in without hesitation, feeling the cool water against my calves as we waded towards the island that resided in the center of the lake. My heart began to race as we reached the shore, and I felt the energy that pulsed through every particle of air that surrounded this place.

"Hello…" I murmured, touching the thick pink strands that hung from the soft brown branches. I felt the warmth in my fingers as I touched my cheek reverently to the strands before pulling away.

Kinak swallowed hard behind me, and reached up to lightly touch my shoulders. I sighed at his touch, smiling as I turned to face him.

"Do you like it, Sara?"

I nodded happily. "It's so beautiful! I never thought I'd ever see something like this…it's perfect." I grinned up at him, and watched as he smiled back. He let me go for a moment, and moved to sit down beside the tree trunk, kneeling with his back facing me, reaching for his thick braid. I smiled, a bit confused by his actions. But I let him have his moment, and turned to crouch beside the water, touching the surface of the lake and watching the spirits gather around my fingers, dancing and sighing in contentment.

I turned around again, and approached Kinak. The man was removing his braid from the thick cluster of pink strands, and turned to look up at me with a loving smile. His hands came up to cup my cheeks as I knelt down beside him, and I felt the strangest sense of déjà vu. But I ignored it as Kinak let out a shaky sigh.

"What's wrong, Kinak?"

"Will you become my mate, Sara?" Kinak almost hissed the words, his eyes closing tightly as he finished. I blinked rapidly, wondering if I had just heard him right. He wanted to mate…with me? With plain ol' Sara Mason? I must be dreaming!

I pinched myself, hard, and winced as the pain shot up my skin. Kinak frowned deeply at my actions, and I shook my head furiously. Nope, definitely wasn't dreaming.

I let my eyes flicker up to meet his, and they were filled with fear and with love. I smiled slightly, and let my hands gently rest in his. The air around us was soothing and calm, and I took strength from that as I whispered.

"You…really mean it?"

Kinak let out a relieved sigh as he cupped my hands in between his tenderly. "Of course."

I felt the warmth descending down on me, and couldn't stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. I remember scoffing at all of those romantic movies in which the girl is always sobbing her heart out when the man gets down on one knee and pops the question.

But now, as I sat there, staring into the eyes of the man I loved, I understood. Kinak – the person I loved with every fiber of my being, who I respected and adored, who I understood and cherished – had just said that he wanted to be with me. It was so much more than marriage in the human world, because the Na'vi mate for life. There was no divorce, there was no way to just back out. Your mate was your mate forever, the person you would love, the person you would cry with, laugh with, make decisions with, have children and grandchildren with…and the person that you would die with.

And Kinak wanted all to do all of that with _me_.

The thought made my tears increase in volume, and Kinak brushed them away with his thumbs, worry creasing his face as he held my face in his large hands.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

"I'm so happy...that's what's wrong…" I sobbed, and Kinak frowned.

"Then…"

I smiled, wiping my tears away. "I'd want nothing more than to be your mate, Kinak. That's what that means."

Kinak's face lit up so fast that I almost laughed, and his breath released shakily as he pressed his forehead against mine.

"_Irayo_…" Kinak breathed, and I smiled as his hands rested lightly on my lower back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him with everything I had.

Kinak responded immediately, and the feeling of the rain on my skin and the hot shivers his kiss sent down my spine made my heart race.

We couldn't get close enough, we couldn't kiss deeply enough. There was an ache that began to pulse in my chest as we kissed and touched, and Kinak gently nuzzled my neck, pulling forward his braid and slowly connecting it with mine.

What happened next is the most difficult to describe.

I could try and explain it as I did the connection between Atan and I, but even _that _explanation was just grazing the surface. The bond that formed between Kinak and I was so much deeper, and so much more intimate that it made every other physical sign of affection seem washed out in comparison.

Our very souls seemed to brush against each other, and with that contact came every single memory and every single experience we had experienced. In a flash, Kinak's memories and thoughts were streamed into me so fast that it seemed like a blur. But I understood every single image that passed before my eyes, because Kinak was there, and since we were one there was no need to explain.

Our kisses were so much more satisfying because we could feel every emotion that passed through our minds; we could feel ourselves and each other at the same time. I could feel the wonderful warmth of his skin against my fingers, but I could also feel the softness of my lips against his, and the pleasure he found in running his hands through my long braids.

Somehow, our garments seemed to vanish under our fingers, and Kinak's hands were everywhere on my skin, his lips tracing the curve of my throat and caressing the pulse point there.

My hands were everywhere too, pulling him closer, burying themselves in his hair as he pushed into that place that my material body desperately wanted him to enter.

My mind was embracing his with a fierceness that surprised me, but I felt comforted at the realization that his mind was clinging to mine just as strongly.

Apart, we were just two individuals…passing each day alone within their thoughts, feeling their own experiences and dealing with pain or embarrassment in solitude.

But now…neither of us had to think in solitude. Because after tonight, there would always be someone who knew us inside and out, someone who had literally been inside our minds and inside our bodies. Someone who would love us unconditionally.

Kinak and I were gasping for breath, but I managed to choke out what I most wanted to say to him in that moment.

"_I see you_."

Kinak kissed me again, and whispered against my lips. "_I see you_."

I had said that phrase to so many people, and as much as I wanted it to be true, I could never really _see _them. Even with Kinak, those words had just missed that true feeling of acceptance. Because there was only so much two people could experience together as friends or even as lovers. In the human world, sex was the closest thing, and even that action was just short of what Kinak and I pledged.

We saw into each other more deeply than anyone ever would, and we saw every aspect of ourselves that had been hidden before.

After seeing Kinak, my relationship with everyone else would seem slightly dimmed, pale shells in comparison to what he and I now shared.

I would see them.

But I would never truly see.


	30. Home

Hey everyone! Man, it's been a while! So sorry for the long update, and thanks for being so patient!

This is really getting deep for me, guys. After this chapter...there are only 2 chapters left. The story is coming to a close. It's so hard (and sad) to imagine, but it's the painful truth.

Bah, I'll save the emotional speech until the end!

Here it is!

_**PLEASE REVIEW! **_

_

* * *

The metal containment center was the size of a small house, with thick metal making up the walls and extra support locking the door shut, thus creating a base that would take several tanks to break into. _

_ The perfect hiding place._

_ Kira Haas stared out into the dawn, her dark eyes large and gleaming in the light that streamed in through the thick glass window that was several feet thick, made for keeping out the predators that sometimes tried to investigate the RDA bases that were scattered in the forest far away from the original RDA Station. The purpose of these stations was to provide a safe place for scientists to store their Avatars if unable to go back to the main station, but hardly any of them were used anymore…now that all the scientists were so focused on the Omaticaya Clan and helping them recover. _

_ The woman sighed, her eyes finding the large metal container of poison, and her mind wandered back to the day before the battle…when Colonel Quaritch had taken her aside. She was one of the few biologists who weren't obsessed with the Na'vi; she was one of the few who actually cared about the welfare of their own dying planet. Quaritch had those scientists under his watch ever since arriving on Pandora, and in the war they had taken orders from him and only him. _

"Haas."

"Yes, Colonel?"

The two of them were in his private meeting room, along with a large soldier who had scars all over his muscled arms and a slightly protruding jaw. Kira glanced at him before returning her attention to the older man sitting before them. The man folded his hands together, leaning forward slightly.

"You understand the situation concerning the natives? The fight we're about to engage in?"

"Of course, sir."

"Well, here are my orders for you, Haas. You're going to do everything in your power to aid the natives and that Sully character. Do you understand? If, by chance, something happens that turns the tide of this war, then we need someone on the inside who can continue our work. You're the only one with an Avatar, so getting them to trust you shouldn't be a problem."

"I highly doubt the natives will win, sir. Our weapons and forces–"

"Don't get cocky, Haas. These people aren't to be underestimated…the last time I underestimated something on this planet, I got these…" The man let his fingers trace over the scars that marred his face. Kira swallowed hard, and the soldier beside her shifted slightly in his seat.

Kira cleared her throat. "Alright…let's say that by some act of God, the RDA falls to the natives. How am I supposed to continue the plan to eliminate the natives without soldiers?"

"If you want to get a tick off of a dog, you have to pull out the head as well as the body. If you just kill its body, the head can continue to suck blood, and will eventually re-grow. The natives aren't so different. What do you think is the head?"

Kira frowned for a moment, and then her eyes widened, and a small smile stretched across her face.

"Of course…_Eywa_."

_Kira smiled slightly as she remembered. Eywa was the core of the Na'vi, their "head", so to speak. If you destroyed that, you destroyed their very reason for living. It would eventually destroy the plant life, and would kill off all living things. This would leave Earth free to mine all of the unobtanium there was to mine. _

_ That was all that mattered, anyway. Jake Sully and Sara Mason were traitors to their race…they deserved to die. If luck was on Kira's side, Norm Spellman had already succumbed to the knife wound, therefore preserving her identity. Not that it mattered…they wouldn't have much trouble finding out who had committed the act. _

_ It had been too easy to earn their trust. Far too easy. Max was her way in; she suspected that he was attracted to her, and she used that to her advantage. She put on her sweet and caring façade and thoroughly immersed herself in helping that Sully traitor get back to the Na'vi, and when the ship left taking the humans back to Earth, Max convinced Jake to let her stay. It was a perfect plan, and she had executed it flawlessly. _

_ She had taken several samples of the water from the Life-Giving Tree over the year that Sara Mason had lived with the Tipani, and she got lucky when Sara saw her that one night. If Sara hadn't been distracted, Kira wouldn't have been able to escape as she did. _

_ Her eyes narrowed at the thought of Sara Mason. What a pest, what an annoying piece of trash. Who would've known that she would catch on so fast that someone was messing with the tree? Kira had been so close to finishing the poison when Sara arrived at the base. _

_ But then, Sara had been unable to do anything. After smashing the Avatar Records terminal – there were several, but the one destroyed was the one that Kira's Avatar was linked to – the group of scientists could do nothing. It was almost enjoyable to watch Sara Mason warm up to Kira, trusting her, smiling at her like they were close friends. _

_ It was pathetic. _

_ They were so trusting, so amiable. They didn't imagine that someone could go against their tree-hugging ways of supposed peace and harmony, and that made Kira pity them more than anything. They were traitors to their own race, and they deserved every second of pain that was headed their way. _

_ Earth was in trouble. It was dying, the plants all disappearing and leaving the ground black and dead, the air gray and smoggy from the machines. They needed more money to fund the organizations hoping to restore the Earth's ecosystem, as well as provide companies with more income. That was why they were on Pandora. _

_ What angered Kira most was that the scientists supporting the Na'vi cause just let those facts blow over their heads like it was nothing. To them, a bunch of alien people were more important than their friends and family back on Earth. What bullshit, what fucking _idiots_. _

_ Kira knew that they thought she was a monster for doing this. And a small part of her felt that way. She had seen the innocent Na'vi children gabbing away in broken English at the lessons, she knew that they weren't inhumane. But she knew that sacrifices had to be made, and if she was branded a murder for it, then so be it. _

_ Because unlike her lesser companions in the Avatar program, she cared about what happened to humans on Earth. Unlike them, she actually had something to go back to. _

_ Her little brother's face smiled at her, his bright blue eyes shining as she showed him a picture of a tree, his eyes widening in curiosity at the image of something that no longer existed in plain sight. _

"Kira, will I ever see a tree for real?"

"I hope so, Jacob…I hope so."

_Colonel Quartich had given her orders to eliminate the natives with the poison if anything went wrong with the battle…and that was exactly what she intended to do. _

_ Tonight, when all the spirits of the Sacred Tree gathered about the Life-Giving Tree…Kira would release the poison into the water, and that would spell the end of all life on Pandora. _

_ It might spell the end of Kira, too. But she was fine with that. _

_ Her sacrifice would bring trees back to Jacob and the rest of mankind, and she would die imagining her brother's happy face as he stared up at the leafy branches, watching the sun shine atop a clear blue sky. _

_

* * *

_

I slowly began to wake up, aware of the strong and muscled arms encircling my waist, and the fact that rain was still falling, making musical plinking noises on the leaf shelter Kinak had constructed before falling asleep. We had gone to sleep really late…I wasn't surprised that it was nearly one in the afternoon – I could tell by the flowers that surrounded the tree, ones that opened in different stages throughout the day. It was cool, but not unpleasantly so, and I snuggled back into the comfort of Kinak's arms.

Kinak's arms. I looked down and couldn't help but release a shocked squeak.

No clothes. Naked. I was naked.

Wait.

…_Oh_!

The events of last night came back in a rush, and I sat up hurriedly, blinking rapidly as the sudden movement made my head spin. Kinak's eyes snapped open at my distress, and he sat up almost as quickly as I had. His hair was slightly mussed from sleep, and he yawned widely, showing his pearly white teeth and his deep pink tongue. The sight made me giggle, but also made me blush madly. That mouth had been in places I didn't want to think about. My eyes trailed down his form, and I blushed even more deeply upon realizing that he too had no clothes on.

I clapped my hands over my face, so embarrassed that it was hard to breathe properly.

Kinak and I were mated. We were mates. It was done, it was official.

And I felt wonderful. But so _embarrassed_. I had just had sex for the first time – and no, I did not go through childhood pledging that I was going to save myself for marriage; it just never seemed right with any of the boyfriends I had had – and even though it had felt wonderful, I knew that Kinak must be laughing his ass off at me. He was so handsome…he must have plenty of experience. Sex and mating weren't really connected; one involved the nether regions, the other involved tsahaylu.

Kinak laughed quietly at my expression, and gently lifted my hands away from my face. His golden eyes sparkled with happiness and confusion as he peered into my face.

"_Tam tam_, Sara. What is wrong?"

I blushed, looking at my knees. "It's just…we're mates now, right?"

"Yes. I am your _muntxatan, _and you are my _muntxate__." _

I smiled slightly at the thought, and he pulled me close to him, almost possessively. I noticed the slight hesitation to his movements as he pressed his lips to my temple.

"I'm glad that I'm not the only one who's not completely used to this, yet…"

Kinak grinned. "This will take getting used to. I've never had a woman before, so this is all new to me."

I frowned. "You can't be serious. I'm your first relationship?"

"You are." Kinak was completely serious, and I wanted to hit something. Kinak hadn't shown any hesitation at all when making love last night, had known exactly what to do…exactly how to touch and how to move…

I stopped my thoughts before they sunk any deeper into the gutter, and looked up at him with a smile.

"Oh. Then you're just a natural."

"I suppose I am." Kinak was grinning mischievously, and I batted at his chest.

"You're also hopelessly arrogant. But I love you, so I guess I can put up with it."

The rain was still falling, and I stared out at the water with a wistful sigh. "You know, sooner or later we'll have to head back to the base."

"I know."

"I wish we didn't have to. I love just…_being _together. Not worrying about the destruction of Pandora or some traitor within our own band of scientists. Just living."

Kinak nodded, and at the same time, we both reached for our clothing. We pulled them on, and stood, knocking over the leaf covering and causing the water to hit us in cool sheets that snapped me out of the daydream and set me back inside reality.

I was needed back at the base. I had to find out who was trying to mess with Pandora…and as we called to our banshees Kinak reached for my hand, squeezing it tightly as we watched the flying creatures approach.

Atan's wings beat powerfully as he slowed to a stop, the wind buffeting the rain away from me for a moment before returning. The banshee screeched as I softly rubbed his neck, and nuzzled my hands for food. I chuckled, and made the connection unconsciously. I stared at the graceful curves to his form, the intelligence found in that bright golden eye and the pale silvery one beside it. The deadly and beautiful scar that ran down his eye and his wing, marring his sapphire-blue hide with a line of pearly white. The warmth of his consciousness as we took to the air, the joy that pulsed through our beating hearts.

I couldn't let such a creature die because someone decided to be a monster. I loved Atan, I had worked so hard to find him and to make us partners of the sky, and I wasn't about to let him go so easily.

The air was cold and biting against my skin, and I frowned as the wind buffeted against us as if trying to push us back. I pushed it aside as the RDA Station came into sight, and my heart lifted at the thought of seeing Jake and Norm again.

Norm especially. He had been acting strangely lately, and I wanted to make sure he was alright. Maybe the whole investigation was stressing him out; Jake had told me that Norm hadn't been getting much sleep. I had to talk to him and get the truth about what was going on.

Suddenly, a blue banshee swooped down, nearly crushing me in the process. I yelled, and Kinak was by my side immediately, his teeth bared up at the rider who was diving down so we were eye to eye.

Jake Sully was panicked and stricken, and the look on his face made the rain turn to ice on my skin.

"Sara, it's Norm, he's…"

But my mind refused to hear the last part of Jake's report. It refused to even entertain the thought of a notion of an idea that Norm Spellman, my beloved nerd and best friend….was dying.

* * *

_ Norm was on the table of the medical area, linked up to several machines and staring listlessly at the ceiling. Max was by his side, blinking back tears as those dark eyes glanced at the monitor that recorded the beating of his heart. _

_ The knife had damaged too many crucial organs…and Norm knew perhaps better than any doctor that there was no hope for him. His heart was trying so hard to survive…it was beating so frantically, trying in vain to transport the blood. But it was futile. _

_ Norm tried to comfort himself in the fact that he was dying for a greater cause, but couldn't find the courage to feel happy. He was afraid. So very afraid. He wasn't like those soldiers who rushed into battle prepared to die for their country; instead he was a simple scientist who had planned to spend the rest of his days peacefully living with the Omaticaya and perhaps have a family of his own. _

_ But now that life was fading, and before him stretched an abyss of the terrifying unknown. What would death feel like? Would it be like falling asleep? Would it be an eternity spent in suffocating darkness? _

_ Norm had always been a man of facts, and the idea that the world beyond death was bereft of any facts scared the living shit out of him. _

_ His breaths rattled in his chest as he agonizingly sucked in air, and Max leaned over him, face worried through the oxygen face-mask. _

_ "Norm, do you need more painkillers?" _

_ Norm shook his head. He still felt pain, but he wanted his last moments in the world to be fully aware of his pain, aware of every nerve and every beat of his heart…not in a mindless state of drugged blissfulness. He wanted to be able to think and to feel and to breathe…he wanted to instill every image of life in his soul and in his mind. _

_ Sara would be safe. She would be adored, loved, and protected. That was what mattered most in Norm's mind. Sara had always been his light, and now the memory of her smile was the light that eased his fear and his loneliness. _

_ Suddenly, the door opened, and Norm looked over to see the woman he had been imagining standing at the closed door, her back pressed against the cool metal and her golden eyes wide with shock. Max took one look at her and quickly exited the room, putting a hand on her elbow and murmuring something before leaving the two of them alone. _

_ The room was strange and silent without Max there, and Norm felt tears welling up at the sight of her pained face, and wished he could turn away. But his head refused to budge, his eyes refused to move anywhere else but her face. _

_ Norm knew that if he looked away, the pain would ease, but he didn't dare waver. His mind had always played cruel tricks on him, putting her before him and then taking her away. He had shrunk away from the agony before, but now he relished in it, he craved it. _

_ Sara Mason slowly moved to stand by Norm's bed, sinking into the large metal chair that Max had just left. Her long braids brushed against Norm's limp hand, and the man smiled as he tugged one braid weakly. _

_ "Hey, Sara." _

_ Sara sobbed brokenly, her eyes swimming with tears that made her golden eyes glimmer and sparkle. Norm let the braid fall between his fingers, his eyes memorizing every curve and edge of her, every minute expression that flitted across her face. _

_ "I never meant for it to be this way, Norm…" _

_ Norm coughed roughly and the two of them looked up at the erratic monitor. Norm was filled with panic, and he reached out for Sara's hand. She gripped it tightly, her tears falling as she held it tightly against her beating heart. Norm sighed at the feeling of the pulse under his fingers, and felt his own tears welling up. _

_ "I know, Sara. But it is this way, and there's nothing you or I can do. I'm…" Norm felt the wetness fall down his cheeks. "…so scared. I don't know what to expect, I don't want to leave, I wish…" _

_ Sara's sobs mixed with his own, and she leaned over so she was hugging his torso. "Please, Norm…please…" _

_ Norm felt it then, the coldness creeping into his heart and into his skin…and in that moment of fear, true courage arose. He knew that he had maybe seconds left. He knew that if he didn't say it now…he would never say it at all. But as he stared at her, her beautiful face and her strong heart…his mind took a different turn. He let his hand come up to cup her cheek. _

_ "I wouldn't change anything." _

_ Sara lifted her head, confused. Norm continued, smiling slightly through his tears. _

_ "Even if I could go back in time…I wouldn't. I would suffer through everything, ten times over, if given the chance. I'd do it…because if things hadn't turned out this way…you wouldn't have met me and Jake, you wouldn't have worked with Dr. Augustine, you–" _

_ Sara cried out horribly. "If all those things hadn't happened, you wouldn't be dying, Norm! What about that? Why are you so goddamn stupid?" _

_ Norm was silent, letting her cry into his chest for a moment before whispering. _

_ "You wouldn't have met Kinak. You love each other, Sara. I choose your happiness over mine." _

_ "No!" Sara yelled, and Norm only held her tighter. He felt the coldness more suddenly now, and the pain was almost blinding in its intensity. _

_ "Don't ever forget me, Sara, alright?" _

_ Sara seemed to sense the seriousness in his voice, because she bent her head and sobbed chokingly, hands clutching Norm's arm so tightly it was almost painful. _

_ "No, Norm, don't!" _

_ "I love you." Norm whispered, and Sara raised her eyes to lock with his. Tears streamed down both of their cheeks, and Sara leaned down to rest her forehead against his, their tears intermixing frantically. _

_ "I love you, too." _

_ Norm smiled, and everything washed away. He hadn't been able to tell Sara his true feelings, but he knew that telling her would only increase her pain. She would be safe…she would be loved. His purpose in this world had ended, it seemed. _

_ Sara's voice – yelling as his heartbeat slowed and stopped – faded away quickly, and there was nothing but a peaceful whiteness. _

_ There was a warmth in his heart, and he opened his eyes to see a beautiful woman standing there, with long hair and silver eyes. Her smile was like the sun, and her eyes were like the moon in its radiant beauty. Her limbs were the earth, and her hair was the rippling water of the forgotten tide. _

_ Norm smiled as she approached him, in this world of soft light and peaceful sounds flowing through his mind._

_ Eywa didn't have to say anything, for he knew without a doubt that she was waiting to take him to the place where all the other spirits resided. His body melted, and his soul flew through time and space and light…and suddenly the voices began overwhelming his mind. _

_ Old voices, young voices, and voices of trees and animals…their souls whispering to him. Welcoming him to their world that was one and the same with the living. _

_ The voice of Grace Augustine whispered. _Welcome_. _

_ Norm couldn't help but wonder. _Welcome where?

_ The light and voice that was Grace seemed to smile at his words before answering. _

Home.


	31. It's All Over

Oh man...this is so hard. Only ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT! Good God, I never expected to make it this far!

I almost started crying during this chapter (not because of the content) but because of the idea of this story coming to an end. I've come to love Sara so much, I feel like when her story ends, that part of my mind will also rest in peace. Sara Mason is my treasure and my special friend, and I will love her forever.

I hope the rest of you feel the same!

Anyway, I hope you guys like it.

**_PLEASE REVIEW!_**

* * *

Time seemed to slow, and everything went fuzzy as I sat there, holding the hand of my best friend and staring at his cold and still form that was bereft of all life, his face covered by a simple white cloth. I had lost track of time and space…how long had it been since Norm had spoken last? Seconds, minutes…hours? None of it mattered, now.

Max and Jake had come into the room a while ago, and my mind sluggishly registered Max's words before pushing them aside.

_Kira was the one who did it. She's been working with Quaritch all along…how could I have missed it? Norm managed to tell me before he…_

It was all a trick, right? It had to be. Norm couldn't be dead. It wasn't possible. We had promised each other that we'd help each other, we _promised_!

I had broken my promise. I hadn't been able to do anything…I was useless.

How many times had I forgotten to tell Norm how important he was to me? How many times had he held me when I was afraid, how many times had I just moved past him without so much as thank you? So many times…the number loomed before me like a frightening sentinel, silently and morosely towering over me with dark, merciless eyes.

Dead eyes.

I couldn't feel anything, and the only sound that filled my brain was the high-pitched droning of the heart monitor, continuous and never-ending…searching for a heartbeat where there was none. Norm lay there peacefully, his arms and legs straight and relaxed, not once betraying the fear that had gripped him at the idea of dying.

I never thought that it would come to this. I had always imagined that all of the people dear to me would make it out alive, and that if anyone were going to die, it would be me. To find now that I was wrong…it was crippling. Norm was so sweet and so kind…how could anyone think about hurting him? How could they be so evil?

Kira hadn't stopped to think about people she would hurt, only about personal gain.

Rage pulsed through my skin as the realization sunk in, and with a jerk I wiped my tears away and stood. Norm remained, cold and dead, and I leaned in to press my lips to his strangely dry forehead.

I hissed as my heart began to beat faster, and with a flick of my tail I exited the room, Jake quickly following me. I ignored the Omaticaya warrior, striding outside to where the Avatar Huts were situated. Kinak was back with the Tipani, speaking to Sänume about the death of Norm and about Kira's betrayal. Good. The less people trying to get in my way, the better.

The cool concrete was oily and slick against my bare feet, and the rain quickly soaked my braids and washed the grit and tears off of my face. The tears continued to fall, however, and I let them.

I knew what to do. For the first time, a plan stretched out before me and I basked in the power of it. I was hungry for blood, and only one person's blood would do. I knew where she was going, and what she planned to do with the poison.

Finally.

Jake grabbed my arm, and I slapped him away harshly, ignoring the hurt expression on his face. "Sara, I don't know what you're planning, but–"

"I know what I'm doing, Jake. Just stay here and look after Norm."

Jake darted out in front of me, hands gripping my shoulders. "Sara, he's–"

I shrieked, almost shrilly as I spat at Jake. "I _know_ that Norm's dead! Do you really think that I'm not _perfectly_ aware of that fact? Stop trying to comfort me and _get out of my way_!"

Jake blinked in surprise, and I pried his hands off of me before continuing my way towards the banshee perches. "I'm going to find Kira."

"Sara, we don't know where she is! She could be doing anything with that poison!"

I smirked. "We? You mean _you_ don't know, Jake. I know where she's going, and don't try to follow me. I'm going to do this alone."

Jake said something, but I ignored him, calling to Atan in a rush. The beast flapped down to me, shaking slightly to rid his wings of the constant rain. I made the bond, and whispered into his neck.

"Fly fast for me, _'eylan_. Don't look back."

Atan crooned, and I swung up onto his back, flipping on my goggles and leaning forward. Jake was running after me, and I took off before he could reach me, watching him fade into the rain as Atan's powerful wings pushed us upwards into the sky.

I turned to face the rain and the wind, feeling the painful pricks as the rain poured downward in a rush. I bared my teeth as I saw that the color of the sky indicated that it was close to sunset. The poison would work best then…it was when Kira would strike.

I would get there in time. That much was certain. And when I did, I would tear Kira's heart out.

* * *

_Kinak stared out at the rain, waiting for Sara's familiar figure to appear. She had told him that she would join him back at Kelutral after seeing to her dying friend…and as the hours passed Kinak grew more and more concerned. It was growing close to dark…was she spending the night at the Tawute camp? _

_ The sadness in her eyes had been so intense; Kinak had felt it down to the tips of his toes. The fact that she was also his mate didn't help alleviate the feeling, as it was natural for mates to have a slight connection to their mate's emotions. It was like something at the back of his mind, nagging at him and pressing against his heart. _

_ It was in that moment that Kinak truly understood how similar humans and the Na'vi really were. The Na'vi felt grief, but their mindset was that all life was a gift, and at one point that gift must be returned. It was a natural cycle, and even if it didn't lessen their sadness, it eased their sense of loss. _

_ Until he saw the expression on Sara's face, he had assumed that humans were completely different. They saw it as a horrible betrayal, and grieved and cried as if they themselves were to blame. Kinak had always scorned them for that; couldn't they see that Eywa had a place in life for every living thing, and that her plan was the best path? _

_ After seeing and feeling the pure and raw emotion pulse through his mate's chest at the sight of her dying friend, Kinak finally understood. _

_ He sighed as he leaned against the warm wood of Kelutral, staring up into the branches, where mothers were sending their children to bed, while elders and other more experiences members of the clan sat and talked quietly around the bonfires set up in the main area. So calm and peaceful…Kinak envied them. _

_ It was so strange. Nearly a year and half ago, the battle had been against a clear and distinct enemy, and the plan had been simple and without much confusion. Destroy the ships and strange contraptions that threatened their clans. _

_ Now, the battle was on such a smaller scale, being between an invisible enemy and Sara. He didn't like to think of it that way, but after several weeks of her struggling, he began to see that it was true. Sara was the one person who had a chance at finding out who was trying to destroy the Life-Giving Tree, which was so unexpected, seeing as she was not born of the Na'vi. _

_ Kinak looked over to see his older sister sitting beside the warrior O'tak, both of them talking in hushed tones, Lielu's eyes crinkling in amusement at something O'tak said, her tail lightly brushing against his leg, almost suggestively. _

_ If Kinak weren't so worried about Sara, he would've been slightly uncomfortable with the sight. But as his mind was more occupied, he just sighed, turning away and staring out into the rain once more. _

_ Where was she?_

_ Tanhì padded over, and leaned her side against the warrior, growling for attention. The creature had grown exponentially, and had almost reached full growth. When on her feet, Tanhì's back was level with Kinak's shoulders, and her fangs were the size of Kinak's outstretched hand. But she had been around for so long that everyone in the Tipani clan had all but forgotten their fear, and the children often looked to the palulukan for entertainment when their mothers and older siblings were too busy to play with them. _

_ Kinak smiled, tentatively rubbing behind the creature's spines, watching the palulukan croon in pleasure, leaning into Kinak's hand and eyeing him with her dark amber eyes. _

_ "Where is she, Tanhì? Where is my __muntxate__?" A thrill of something warm flitted through his chest at the usage of the word, and Sara's smile flashed before his eyes. She was his _muntxate_, his mate, his love. His, and his alone. _

_ He hadn't expected the creature to respond, much less understand, but Tanhì obviously did, for she began sniffing frantically, walking outside into the rain and snuffling around in the mud. _

_ Kinak, frowning, followed her, and gasped when the creature's head snapped up towards the east, her amber eyes wide and focused. Suddenly, Tanhì snarled, pawing the ground anxiously, her nose crinkling…in a motion that was familiar…_

_ It was when Sara had been training with Kinak for just over a month. _

He was teaching her how to skin her prey, and she watched as Kinak slowly and carefully skinned the dead animal, blood dripping down the knife and onto the grass, where it pooled around the creature. Her hair was loosely tied back with a leather thong, and Kinak snuck a glance at her, silently admiring the way the flowers in her hair glowed in the sunlight, illuminating her golden eyes and making the green streaks within the gold stand out.

Her delicate nose had crinkled, and Kinak curtly asked what was wrong. She had responded in English, forgetting – as she had often done back then – that she was supposed to be trying to only speak in Na'vi.

"It's the blood. I guess my nose is just more sensitive than I'm used to…the smell makes me kind of sick."

_ Kinak snarled. _

_ Tanhì had found the scent, and there was blood. That could only mean–_

_ Kinak didn't finish that thought, his instinct taking over as he leapt onto Tanhì's back. The palulukan balked at first, but stilled the moment that Kinak made tsahaylu. It normally would have rejected it immediately, but since he and Sara had linked in the act of becoming mates, it made their minds permanently bonded. _

_ Tanhì growled, her mind meshing with Kinak's flawlessly, and the creature finally gave in to her urges and raced towards the place where her beloved-mother-child-blue-skin was, roaring a loud and echoing call as she ran through the brush. _

_

* * *

_

I snarled as Kira leapt at me again, her eyes aflame with a frenzied anger, the poison tank mere feet away from the water's edge. I leaned back as Kira's knife sliced inches away from my stomach, and with a scream of fury yanked on her braids, pulling her to the ground. I tackled her, the two of us biting and kicking furiously as we both fought for our lives.

I kicked her off, and crouched on the ground, holding the bleeding wound on my shoulder while warily watching her scramble to her feet. The poison tank was behind me, and Kira smirked, wiping blood from her lips.

"You're a traitor, Mason. I was actually thinking of asking you to join our ranks, but then I saw what a Na'vi lover you really were."

I snarled, seeing red as I imagined Norm's horrible wound, his smile as he died. "Don't talk to me about loyalty! You're willing to kill thousands, and for what? Unobtanium? _You're_ the traitor!"

Kira laughed, and began to slowly creep back and forth, waiting for me to move away from the poison tank. But I wasn't going to fall for her tricks. Not any more. My heart pounded in my chest, my pain sang through my veins like wildfire.

I wanted to kill her. I wanted to bash her head on a rock and watch her bleed.

_"Don't ever forget me, Sara, alright?"_

Norm had died because of her. Kira was the one to blame; Kira was the one to hate and to resent.

In that moment, I didn't give a fuck about morals or limitations, all I wanted to do was to tear her heart out and watch it slowly stop beating…watch the life leave Kira's eyes just as it had with Norm. Only this time, there would be no grief. Only vengeance, only triumph.

It all came down to this. Everything I had worked for, every emotion, every smile, every laugh…it all came down to what I would do in this battle that stretched far beyond me and Kira. It was the last battle between the RDA and the Na'vi. I had, at one point, been on the RDA's side.

My decision had been between my instinctive loyalty to Earth and my love for Pandora. I had chosen my path, and even if it wasn't the right one, it was still mine. My own beautiful, terrifying, passionate, love-filled path that made me both overjoyed and slightly unnerved at the same time. I knew when I decided to become one with The People that my life here wouldn't be easy, and it hadn't been, not even for a second. But at least I was happy; at least I knew that I was making the right choice for myself.

Pandora was my home now, for better or for worse, and I sure as hell wasn't about to let it die.

Call me a traitor if you will, call me a cheat. Call me any name you like, I honestly don't care. I've chosen my path, just as everyone will choose theirs sometime or another. It may not be the path to becoming nine feet tall and blue, but it still will be a decision that will shape your life thereafter. Like getting married, like deciding to be a mother or a father…like wondering about the planet of Pandora and deciding – at only eighteen – to travel there. Like sneaking into the labs late at night, being there at the exact right moment to get caught by Grace Augustine.

Deciding to become one of the Na'vi…forever.

I peeled my hands away from the deep wound at my shoulder, grimacing as I felt the slickness of blood against my fingers. The night was cold and wet, and I blinked to clear my vision as the rain poured down, even more harshly than before. I glanced at the tree behind me, and sent a silent prayer to it as I turned back.

The small seeds of the tree were crowded around the tree, glowing and blinking as if sensing the danger so close to their core. I snarled as my shoulder throbbed, and ducked as Kira leapt at me, grabbing the tank of poison and chucking it as far away from me as possible. The thick metal didn't even crack as it fell into the brush, and Kira scowled as she bared her fangs in anger.

My tail whipped around me as I felt the adrenaline pump into my system. I had never had any training in fighting, but instinct leant me a great skill in this situation. It melted away my fear and made my blood boil in anticipation. I growled, catching her ankle as she slipped on the grass, and twisting it harshly, flipping her over. I straddled her, clenching my hand into a fist and slamming it into her face.

Blood spurted out of her nose as my fist made contact, and I didn't care. Kira was coughing and screaming, her nails carving deep cuts into my hands and forearms as I slowly choked the life out of her.

"Norm died because of you…you heartless bastard!" I whispered, and Kira's eyes widened at my expression, her pupils shrinking as her teeth bared. She sucked in something – not air, because of my hands – and spat in my face. I blinked, and Kira took that opportunity to kick me off, sending her fist into my stomach. I heaved, not enough to throw up, but enough to make me gag. Kira's hand dug into my hair, grasping onto my thick braid. The pain that her harsh yank brought upon me was unlike anything else. It was like she was reaching into my very brain and squeezing the life out of it. I screamed, and Kira laughed maniacally.

"Norm died because he was a traitor, just like you! He died because he loved you, and was looking through your journal in the hut. If he had been with the rest of them, he wouldn't have gotten in my way! So if you want to place the blame on anyone, Sara Mason, place it on _yourself_!"

My vision went red as I tasted rust on my tongue, and realized that I had bitten my tongue. Tears filled my eyes, and I gritted my teeth as the water flowed from my eyes like rivers. Oh Norm…oh Norm…

_Help me, Norm. I can't do anything without you._

Suddenly, something lifted Kira off of me, and I scrambled to roll away, whimpering in pain and sighing as the aching of my head subsided. There was a vicious scream, and I heaved great breaths, feeling the cold water on my skin and the coldness sinking into my chest.

I looked up and blinked when I saw that nothing was there. Kira was laying on the grass, her eyes wide and unseeing, and her mouth open in frozen shock. I blinked rapidly, realizing that…Kira was dead.

It was all over. It was so sudden; it took me a moment to realize that I didn't need to fight anymore.

I stood, grimacing at the throbbing of my shoulder, and nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of a voice, deep and light, soft and heavy, pounding and delicate, but distinctly female.

"You did well, my daughter."

I whipped around, and found myself face to face with Eywa.

My mind was in shock. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. This was Eywa…the being that had created all life on Pandora, that had started anything and everything. She knew me and I knew her, I loved her, she loved and adored me.

Her silvery eyes were warm and reminded me of the moon, and her flowing hair billowed around her as she moved towards me. Every time her foot touched the ground, clusters of flowers appeared there. I fell to my knees, overwhelmed by the raw energy and power that exuded from her, and stared up into her face. Her face was not beautiful in the way I would ordinarily describe beautiful, exactly, but it inspired a feeling of awe and deference in me that commanded all attention. She was everything…and I was but a single soul.

Eywa knelt before me, and placed her hands on my shoulders. The feeling that washed over me was the feeling that only can be compared to the connection created by tsahaylu. It was like her mind was one with mine, and I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

The being smiled, and kissed my tears away, resting her lips on my forehead before pulling back. A feeling of peace soothed over my hurting heart, and I sucked in deep breaths as the rain poured down on us.

I looked up at her. "Why did this have to happen?"

"Because it was your path."

"My path? This wasn't a part of my path…."

"Wasn't it?"

That made me pause, and I stared into her eyes, blinking slowly as Eywa smiled once more. The woman stood, and slowly began walking towards the body of water. I stood as well, and watched as she slowly stepped on the water, her feet walking upon it as if it was glass.

"Eywa!" She turned. "Tell Norm…and Grace….that I love them."

"There's no need. They already know."

And with that, she disappeared into the rain, the only thing marking her appearance being the flowers that had sprung up where she stepped. I stood alone, staring at the glowing Life-Giving Tree.

There was a crashing sound, and suddenly Tanhì appeared beside me, growling and licking me all over while a figure slid off of her back. I gasped as Kinak ran around Tanhì's large form, his eyes frantic as he yanked me into his arms.

"Are you alright? Where's Kira, where–"

I smiled at his worried tone, taking his hand. The Life-Giving Tree glowed and glittered behind me, and I sighed.

"I'm fine, Kinak. It's all going to be okay…it's all over."

Kinak didn't answer, and the two of us stared at the Life-Giving Tree, and Tanhì sat beside us, licking our ankles and humming contentedly under her breath. Kira's body was still and peaceful at the water's edge, and I felt my anger slowly ebbing away. My grief was still there, but it was a duller, softer kind of grief. Norm was safe, he was loved. He would live on forever within Eywa, and, through her, me.

All was well.

Well it's about damn time.


	32. Epilogue

This is it. The end.

I...really? This is the first time I've EVER finished one of my stories, like legit FINISHED and labeled it as completed.

This is so hard. I wish I could say that I'm just kidding, but then where would we be?

A HUGE thanks out to EVERYONE who has reviewed, story-alerted or story-favorited this story, you all are AWESOME!

This story wasnt perfect in any way, and I am fully aware of that, but it is (and always will be, I think) very dear to me and I loved how much it grew over the past ten months that I've been writing it. I never thought that it would end up this way, nor did i EVER think that so many people would take interest in it; both are very very pleasant surprises.

Hm...anything else? Oh yeah!

This awesome author on also known as hope I spelled that right...) made this AMAZING banner for this story on Deviant Art (his or her penname on that site is ~**_love-a-dinosaur_**). Go to the site and type in "to truly see banner". It should be the first one on the list of things to pop up.

CHECK IT OUT, AND BASK IN THE AWESOMENESS!

Thank you everyone for all of your support! Enjoy the last chapter of _Avatar Chronicles:: To Truly See_!

**_PLEASE REVIEW!_**

* * *

The rain ended the next day. It was a beautiful sight, watching the water slowly cease, and the sun pierce the clouds and shed warm rays on the earth. The air was crisp and clean, and the creatures all emerged to bask in the light. Birds chirps and squawked as they flapped around, but it wasn't irritating or overwhelming. It just added to the music of the forest, the music that was more beautiful than any symphony.

I watched as Mo'at chanted something in low tones, letting the small and delicate flowers cupped in my hands fall over Norm Spellman's corpse. My best friend's body was curled in the roots of the Sacred Tree. The flowers were pale yellow and bright, and I watched as one of them fell in Norm's open palm. I fought back tears, forcing myself to look up at Neytiri as the young woman moved forward, cupping a single _atokirina' _in her hands. Her golden eyes were soft and sad as she let the creature gently float downward into the web of roots, resting lightly on Norm's shoulder, sending flickers of pink light on his striped blue skin. The people grouped for the funeral began chanting with Mo'at, and when I tried to join my throat tightened, making any sound impossible.

I knew that Eywa had done what she had done for a good reason, but even so…I couldn't help the grief that pierced my heart. Norm was dead, maybe not in the metaphysical sense, but definitely in the physical sense. I would never see Norm's smile again. I would never laugh at the awkward nerd-ness that surrounded him even as a Omaticaya warrior, I would never be able to link arms with him as we walked, laughing and teasing him for his many quirks.

Kinak seemed to sense my disquiet, for he reached over to take my hand, squeezing it gently. I looked up at him sadly, and he smiled softly at me before turning back to Neytiri and Mo'at, who were saying several prayers.

The ceremony seemed to take no time at all, and it seemed like minutes later that everyone was departing the site, returning to their everyday lives and needs. Jake was blinking rather fast, staring down at his best friend for a moment before turning away, his shoulders tense and stiff. Neytiri looped an arm around his waist, and he leaned into her as the two walked away.

It wasn't long until Kinak and I were the only ones left, and Kinak stared at me concernedly.

"Do you wish to be alone?"

I shook my head, leaning into him. "No, it's okay. I won't be long."

I darted down so I was overlooking Norm, and closed my eyes for a moment, whispering. "I won't ever forget you, Norm. Not a chance."

The weight eased off of my chest slightly, and I smiled brokenly before moving back to stand beside Kinak. He leaned his forehead against mine for a moment, and I appreciated the loving gesture and the gentle warmth of his skin.

"You know what we have to do, Sara?"

I sighed, my brow furrowing in pain as I nodded. "Yes."

The plan would have to commence immediately. The plan that comprised of all humans leaving Pandora forever. The RDA Station would be neglected and destroyed, so that future ships couldn't land there. All scientific equipment that couldn't be transported back to Earth would be destroyed and burned…everything would have to go.

That meant that Max would have to leave too.

That made me saddest of all.

* * *

Everything was ready. Nearly everyone was in the ship and preparing for the automatic route that would control the ship as the passengers spent the duration in their artificial sleep. The equipment was loaded and the base had been destroyed by some over-zealous Omaticaya warriors. The forest was already beginning to claim the base, vines and flowers poking though the concrete and winding around the metal walls making up the buildings.

Sänume and Neympin – the middle-aged leader of the Omaticaya who had taken Eytukan's place – stood solemnly with a small group of their warriors – some on direhorses and some on their own feet, all equipped with bows and spears.

Kinak and Tanhì were waiting beside Sänume, their eyes both locked on me as I turned to the last of the humans as they hurried onto the ship. I blinked as one of them stopped, and as I recognized him I swallowed hard, walking over to stand before him.

I stared down at Max Patel as the airships behind him prepared for take-off, and I wished so badly that I could find some way to allow him to stay. Max was one of my best friends...and now he had to leave. I hoped that the whole losing-best-friends thing wasn't going to become an everyday occurrence…losing two of them was bad enough.

Max didn't cry – he just wasn't that kind of person – but the expression on his face made me want to shed tears myself. He loved this place, almost as much as I did. Forcing him to leave it felt like a crime, but he knew as well as the rest of us that leaving was necessary.

I smiled, shifting the thin laptop in my arms before lifting it out and presenting it to the man. Max frowned, and I bit my lip, tucking a few stray braids behind my ear.

"It's my journal. The copy of it was destroyed when they kicked the crap out of the machines, so this is it. It's pretty much to date, and I'd really appreciate it if you could publish it. I want people to know the truth about the Na'vi, not all that propaganda the media has these days…"

The man's dark hair was tousled in the breeze as he took the computer, nodding in answer to my request. "But don't you want to keep it? There's a way to–"

I smiled. "No, Max. In order to really start my life here, I need to put all things linking my life to Earth behind me. A blank slate, so to speak."

Max nodded once more, smiling at the bright green color of the computer case, brushing his fingers over it before taking one last look around the RDA Station.

"It'll be weird, going back to a place where there isn't any green…"

I blinked back tears at the forced lightness to his voice. "I suppose it will."

Max glanced over at me, smiling slightly. "You'll be okay, Sara. You always are. Sure, you're a magnet for anything remotely dangerous…but you're also strong enough to take care of yourself when that danger comes. I can leave comforted by that, at least."

I smiled, and nudged him. "Yeah, _Jake's_ the one you have to worry about."

"Oh, don't even get me _started _on him…"

We laughed, and our moment was broken by the call of one of the scientists.

"Max? It's time to go!"

I bit my lip as Max's eyes darkened, and the two of us stared at each other. There was so much I wanted to say in that moment, and yet I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I wanted to preserve the happiness, I wanted to cling to it with my fingertips and ingrain it into my memory.

Max seemed to wish for that as well, for he smiled widely, putting his hand over his heart, as was tradition when greeting and saying goodbye to someone.

"_Eywa ngahu ma_, Sara Mason."

It wasn't a phrase of sorrow, instead what someone would say when they were going on a journey. It was used to wish someone well, and assure them that the receiver would be in their prayers. Max couldn't have picked a better goodbye.

_Eywa be with you._

I smiled, blinking back tears as I placed my hand over my heart, bowing my head in return as I repeated the goodbye in kind. Max didn't hesitate, instead turning and walking up into the ship, and I watched his shoulders straighten as he made his way up the ramp. Always so determined and brave, even when saying goodbye to Pandora forever.

I never could have been that brave.

Max disappeared into the silver sleekness of the ship, and with a hiss the door closed. The Na'vi's ears flattened against their skulls – mine included – at the deafening and unnatural roar that was emitted from the ship as it pushed off. I felt tears filling my eyes as I raised my hand in farewell, knowing that Max couldn't see me, but also knowing that if I didn't make the gesture, I would regret it forever.

The ship quickly soared into the brightness of the sun, and I was forced to avert my eyes for a moment. When I looked back, it was gone. An inexplicable sadness filled me, and when I looked back to the destroyed Avatar Station, tears filled my eyes.

So many times spent in those corridors, laughing and talking with Norm about the biological properties of some new plant or substance found, pushing Jake at speeds best left a secret, quizzing Jake on Na'vi culture while offering chocolate every time he got a right answer – you wonder why he picked up on the culture so fast? You _think_ it's because of smokin' hot Neytiri, but don't be fooled. It was the chocolate. Everything comes down to chocolate, I swear.

I stared up at the sky, and breathed in deep. I would never forget any of this. No matter how many years that passed, no many how many new experiences I have and happy times that occur…my life in the RDA will always be with me. Good times, bad times, I was the keeper now. Jake was as well, we both were the last links to good and bad that had occurred here.

Max and Norm were both gone to me now, never to return, never to speak to me again. So was Grace Augustine. But it didn't matter really. Those who are gone are always with us, in our eyes and in our memories as we consider the world. Every time I saw a particularly colorful plant, I would see Norm and Grace kneeling there, examining it and scrambling for a piece of paper, eyes wide and curious as he jabbered to Grace, who was rolling her eyes and smiling at the same time. Every time I would see the green of the forest after the rain, I would think of Max, staring longingly out through the large window that was positioned in the link room of the Avatar Station as he sipped his hot chocolate – I rest my case; chocolate is the key to everything and anything – that had a small pinch of cinnamon added.

My sadness would always be there, too, but I almost welcomed the sadness. It made it impossible to forget, impossible to just pretend that none of it ever happened. I would take this sadness with me as I began my life here.

I heard the clans slowly dispersing, and saw the Tipani warriors waiting for me, their golden eyes warm as they waved and called my name. I waved back, calling for them to go on without me. Sänume snorted, and shook her head, seeming insulted that I would suggest such a thing. I rolled my eyes, trying not to feel too pleased.

I heard footsteps behind me, and I turned to see Kinak. I smiled at him, and touched his hand lightly with mine in greeting. Kinak smiled, and tugged me closer.

"_Nga yawne lu oer_."

_I love you._

I smiled up at him, surprised at his sudden announcement, tracing his strong jaw with a single finger. "_Nga yawne lu oer nì'ul._"

_I love you more._

Kinak's eyes brightened, and he boldly leaned down to kiss me. There were cat-calls and teasing from the Tipani warriors, and Kinak made to turn and scowl at them, but I pulled him back before he could do so. They were just jealous. I smiled against his lips, marveling at the firmness of his back muscles as I pulled myself closer.

After kissing me for a long moment, Kinak pulled back slightly, murmuring. "Let's go home."

Home.

Home was no longer the small blue house back on Earth. Home was the large and twisting tree that held the Tipani Clan, the clan that had become my family, my brothers and sisters and cousins. The place where Atan waited for me patiently in the branches, crooning and blinking his large gold and white eyes. Where Lielu and O'tak smiled and kissed, their arms trusting and loving as they locked around each other. Where children danced and chanted a song as ancient as the world.

_The rhythm of rain and sun,_

_Of night and day,_

_The rhythm of the years,_

_And the beat of the hearts,_

_Hearts of the people_

_Fills me,_

_Fills me._

I smiled, loving the way Kinak's tail twisted around my leg tenderly, unconsciously. My heart swelled with love for him. It was overpowering my heart and soul, and I smiled at the sun, thanking Eywa for my clan, and for the sky, the plants and animals, and for the thanator who was nudging Kinak and me impatiently, wanting to start heading back. I turned to beam at my mate, and patted Tanhì on the head as we moved towards our clan.

"That sounds like a _wonderful_ idea."

**-The End-**


	33. Author Note: THERE'S A SEQUEL!

Hey everyone!

I know, it must be strange to suddenly get this after the story's been labeled as completed for a while now.

But dont worry, it wont take long!

I just wanted to let everyone know that _**THE SEQUEL IS OFFICIALLY POSTED! **_It's called **Avatar Chronicles:: Eyes That Linger**, and it's set fifteen years in the future! So if you've been dying to know what happens after To Truly See, go check it out and tell me what you think! I'm so excited - I've got it pretty well planned out, and it's so much fun to delve into the world of the Na'vi once again! I love Pandora so much...sniff...I wish I was Na'vi, I really do...

For those who liked the ending of To Truly See and aren't really keen on continuing (its understandable, for some people, some sequels ruin the completeness of the original)...ignore this message. No hard feelings!

Thanks, and hope to hear from you all soon!

~Sapphire-Raindrop


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